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I was beside Raisa in an instant, cradling her head against my side, pouring out incomprehensible questions amid a mixture of tears and sorrow, for if to meet again my best friend was a delight, to see her like this, moribund, resigned to die where she lay, was a pitiful sight I shall never strike from my mind.
Nicolae belatedly recognized Raisa and knelt beside us, taking her hand. Elone joined us, cognisant of the bond though she knew not the person.
If weak of body and spirit, our chance encounter seemed to invigorate Raisa and we managed to talk a while, sat on the cold ground, until she again began to show fatigue.
Weak as she was, Raisa managed to offer some explanation of events. The Red Army was advancing and the Nazis had abandoned the camp as I had surmised, destroying what they could, taking many thousands of able workers with them, heading west, on a long, tortuous journey by foot to camps nearer the German border. Those too weak or ill to travel, too old or too young, were simply left here at Auschwitz.
Left to die.
She asked of her father, Maxim. I was able to tell her I had seen him alive not long ago and how he had assisted us, and her features brightened. Knowing that her own mother had perished here in Auschwitz I could not bring myself to ask if Raisa knew Mama’s fate.
I remembered the canteen we had encountered earlier and, promising we would return with sustenance, we rose to search for any remnant of food we might have first missed. Raisa’s hand lingered in mine, unwilling to relinquish her grip, sunken eyes imploring me to stay, but I knew without food she would not survive the night.
Tearfully we made our way back, ambulate amid the dead and dying, to where we had earlier found our meal.
All around me people were starving, but I thought only of Raisa.
We found a single tin of beef, undoubtedly the last. There would be no more.
I held the tin in my hand, looking first at Nicolae, then at Elone, then thinking of Raisa, so close to death.
Elone took my hand. “Raisa must have it, Anca. Something will turn up for us, you will see.”
I said, “You three will have it. You, Nicolae and Raisa.”
Elone did not reply, but took Nicolae by the hand and began leading him back the way we had come. I quickly opened the tin and followed them, hiding the food in my pocket for fear of taunting the many starving people we would have to pass by to get to my friend.
By the time we returned to her darkness was once again encroaching, the temperature falling rapidly. I divided the contents of the can and gave a third each to Nicolae, Elone and Raisa. Elone immediately divided her share in half and gave a portion each to Nicolae and Raisa.
I could not find the words to express myself, simply hugging Elona to me as my brother and my friend gratefully ate.
Too weak to move of her own accord, it would have been impossible for us to carry Raisa between the dead and dying all around us, and I knew we must stay the night with her, out in the open, to shield her with our own bodies, for she would not survive another night unprotected.
We huddled together around her, Raisa’s head on my lap, shivering as darkness closed in on us. At some stage I abandoned principle and took clothes from the dead around us to provide us with warmth, but still the cold penetrated deep.
Somehow Nicolae managed to find sleep, and later Raisa too. Elone stayed awake with me through the night, her indomitable spirit all that prevented me succumbing to the cold.
We talked of times past and times future, avoiding always the subject of the fate of our families. We spoke of what we would do when the war ended, where we might live, who we might marry. If the talk was aimless and futile still it kept us awake, the better to shield our slumbering partners.
But eventually I surrendered to sleep myself, waking again as dawn broke.
As the spring of day began again to illuminate our wretched surroundings desolation loomed large. Still more bodies littered the concourse, still fewer managed to stand or even sit up.
Elone held my hand tight, and as I studied her face in the crepuscular light I could see tears in her eyes. I became alarmed, unsure of her concern.
“Elone, what is it?”
She did not look up, but said quietly, “I am sorry, Anca. Your friend has gone.”
It took a few seconds for the meaning of her words to penetrate my mind before I fell upon Raisa’s body and wept. Elone comforted Nicolae while I clutched Raisa’s lifeless form to my breast until emotion finally succumbed to reality and I conceded defeat.
She had been my best friend, but now she was no more.
Still I had Nicolae and Elone, of course, but for now I could only think of Raisa.
Elone retrieved the amulet from around her neck and passed it to me, no words necessary.
I took it gratefully and placed it over Raisa’s still head, before pulling her coat over her.
I began to cry again.