Chapter 24

Gray

My ass hurt. Actually, it was beginning to go numb from the hard ground, adding to the growing ball of tension in my chest. While Chrome had been off hunting, I’d built a small fire, its warmth now almost singing the hairs on my head.

My mind was a maelstrom of discombobulated thoughts, unable to land on a particular one. What the fuck happened to my life? How did I end up here? Was I destined for misery from birth?

It was getting harder and harder to breathe, and the declining temperature wasn’t helping. A crisp breeze slithered down the back of my hoodie. Heavy footsteps sounded from the edge of the woods of our little clearing, and Chrome’s tall figure came tromping through, dragging a dead animal at his heels.

I sat up straighter, locking away my emotions for a later date. I couldn’t break in front of anyone—especially him.

He approached me, beginning to pluck feathers from a dead turkey’s body. The sight of the raw food ignited what little restraint I held onto. I was so fucking hungry. To try to distract myself from my warring thoughts and starvation, I asked, “So you think my father is responsible for that creature we just dealt with?” I tried to make sense of everything.

“Obviously,” Chrome scoffed, annoyance showing in his eye roll.

My eyebrows rose at the sudden attitude. “You can drop the sass.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his black hair and sighed, deflating. “Sorry. This little trip has turned out to be more difficult than I anticipated.”

I jerked my head in his direction and seared him with a look that spoke of all the emotions I’d been suppressing over the past few days: hot anger, betrayal, childhood neglect, and abuse all rising to the surface since I left the Royal Domain. “I’m at my fucking limit, Chrome,” I snapped, barely keeping my voice below a scream. He stared at me, a twinge of shock racing across his face before his head cocked. He raised an eyebrow. “Within days, I went from being an assassin princess to being nearly killed by you, and then being nearly killed by my father. Only to find out the man I’ve been taught to hate with every fiber of my being is actually the legendary Chrome Freyr! You’re supposed to be dead.” Chrome dipped his head in mock acknowledgment as I continued, “Then, I learn you’re also a formulated hybrid who talks to himself in the middle of the night. Because that makes total sense.

“Oh! And let’s not forget, the man who raised me is not my adopted father. He is, in fact, my biological father, who kidnapped and tortured my unknown biological mother and raped her to produce me. Then killed her. I’ve discovered that I, too, am a formulated fucked-up hybrid who’s been lied to her entire life. I’ve even had my godsdamn food poisoned since I was a small child! My psychopathic king of a father is trying to open a portal to another world with the delusional hopes of finding some source of great power, whatever the hell that means. Or so we think, at least. Actually, so you think—you still haven’t told me who we are because all I see is you in the chaos.” I paused to catch my breath, my chest heaving. “But the most sickening part of it all? I’ve killed for him. Killed so many…” I trailed off on that last thought and looked into the trees, feeling tears threatening to fall.

My chest tightened with the determination to keep them from spilling over. My hands shook, so I dug my nails into the palms of my hands, allowing the sting of the pain to ground me. I took a steadying breath. “Did I forget anything?” I aimed a look of contempt at what appeared to be the only ally I had left—the most unlikely one at that.

Without missing a beat, Chrome lifted a finger and said, “You left out that I saved your ass as a small child and continue to save your ass as a grown woman.” He flashed an exaggerated smile that crinkled the corners of his cat eyes.

Ugh, he was sexy.

“So, you’re welcome for that.” A second finger ticked up. “Also, I did not kill Slate. Still want my name cleared on that accusation.” A third finger met the others. “And we just fought a little beastie-bear while accidentally opening a portal to another world to send it back.” Amusement danced in those ice-blue eyes.

“I hate you,” I said, my voice flat and with a deadpan expression. “You have not saved my ass,” I snorted, crossing my arms over my chest. “I don’t get saved. Ever.”

A smirk teased the corners of his lips. “Oh, but you do, little savage. By me. And only me.”

Dammit, why did his voice have to sound sensual when he talked like that?

I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t want, nor need, to be saved, especially by someone whose ego is the size of that bear back there.”

The smile grew, melting his stark features and my resolve. “Oh really? What else of mine do you think is big?”

His eyes sparkled with amusement and…lust? No, I must have imagined it. But then why did my heart start to race and my cheeks heat from a torturous blush?

I bit the inside of my cheek, fighting the urge to smile. I walked into that one. “Nothing. You’re small. Just a small man. With a little peen.” I locked eyes with him and tried to remain stoic, though I knew I wouldn’t last long.

Loud, belly-deep laughter erupted from him. I’d never heard anything so… infectious. I couldn’t help but to chuckle with him.

“Peen?” Chrome exclaimed, when he came up for air. “How old are you?”

I chuckled. “Old enough to know I can spot an arrogant dick when he presents himself.”

He rose, and took two long strides toward me until we stood mere inches apart. A dark smile and a promise danced in those blue eyes of his. I held my chin up as he dipped lower, meeting my determined gaze with his own. “You know I’m anything but small, Princess. You try to pretend like you don’t feel what’s between us, or maybe you’re just in denial with yourself. But it’s there.” Chrome’s smooth voice caressed me with dark sensuality, pulling tight at something in my core. Like a chord tugging me toward him. “It’s always been there. Since that day on the playground.”

The passion burned in his eyes, pinning me to the spot. The force of his presence, his energy, or perhaps it was some weird hybrid connection buzzing between us, robbed me of my breath.

Damn, he was so beautiful.

Warmth spread through my body, starting from my chest. My breaths became a little more ragged as I studied his tense body, seeming to fight the urge to close the short distance between us.

I really needed to get laid. Even just a meaningless roll in the sack. Nothing else. Too much tension had built up, causing me to feel things that weren’t wanted.

But were they really unwanted? The thought of his lips pressed to mine, his fingers gripping my waist…

It was obvious his close proximity affected me. I knew it; he knew it. But I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of vocally acknowledging it. With every last ounce of willpower, I shrugged, feigning indifference. “All I feel is exhaustion. So, let’s just fucking eat.”

Chrome paused, his eyes flaming with desire as his gaze raked over my body. I shivered, a heat burning deep in my stomach. “Don’t tempt me, little savage,” he growled, his eyes meeting mine as he bit his bottom lip. “I don’t think you can handle my appetite.”

It was as if the campfire had sucked all the oxygen from my lungs. My neck and face heated, my palms were sweating. But I enacted the stoic expression I’d trained my entire life to perfect. I rolled my eyes, “Please, get over yourself. I’m sure it’s nothing special.” I shoulder-checked him as I passed by, hoping I succeeded in hiding my overactive hormones. I was anything but calm on the inside, but he couldn’t know that.

To settle myself, I conjured the fading memory of Slate’s loving hands, and sensual mouth on my body. He’d always made me feel loved, wanted—something I doubted anyone else could ever make me feel.

I moved to work on plucking the turkey, giving Chrome a second to breathe from his little adventure in the woods. It gave me the space I needed to allow the feelings of guilt to settle in my heart. I shouldn’t, but I felt like I was betraying Slate, even a year and a half after his death.

Ugh. Fuck this.

Heat warmed my face, thawing my frozen insides. The flames from the campfire flicked through the air, holding me in a trance. I wondered if fire would be my element as an Elemental. It didn’t call to me, but at the moment, I cherished its life force.

Mixed hues of blue and purple painted the sky, casting a calm over our makeshift campsite as sunset approached. I kept my senses open for any intruders, but all was clear, at least for now.

Chrome was preparing the turkey he’d killed. He’d been at it for over an hour. I’d offered to help, but he’d refused, insisting I get the fire ready to roast it.

I was painfully starved. It’d been nearly three days since I’d last eaten. But I didn’t want to be in the way, so I sat huddled on the ground near the fire.

I learned long ago that I was different from others. My father’s outward treatment of me did me no favors. I supposed that was his goal: to keep me isolated.

Then Slate came along. We’d done everything we could to keep our relationship hidden from the king. I knew he wouldn’t allow it. And in the end, my father had gotten his way.

Slate had come into my life when I’d thought about crushing redfern into my coffee before school one morning. I’d hated myself and my entire existence. Everyone considered me too quiet, too unnerving. A burden. Too much. If someone was nice to me, it was because they wanted favor with my father, as if I held any sway with him.

Add in the daily beatings and the public humiliation, and it was no shocker that I believed everything my father had told me. I was nothing, just a placeholder. He’d tell me that since he was stuck with me, the least I could do was be a decent assassin so he could get something useful out of me. I’d always wanted to join the warriors, but he said that was for those worthy of it. Forest would tell me that I’d already disgraced his family name, he couldn’t have me disgracing the esteemed Guilds, too. So, I was to remain hidden away and monitored at all times—unless he needed me to make a public appearance for his own motives.

The crunch of Chrome’s steps on the dead leaves signaled his return, pulling me from my past reflected in the flames. A heavy thud punched the hard earth, making me jump. I glanced around and spotted a severed tree trunk sitting at my side.

“Sit.” Chrome gestured to the stump as he placed the pile of sliced, raw turkey meat onto one of his shirts that rested on the ground. “There are some sticks that I debarked and soaked in water that we can use as skewers.”

“Thanks,” I murmured, my stomach giving a painful rumble. When I saw he had two stumps, I stood and went to sit on the one he’d gestured toward.

Chrome nodded in acknowledgement, his hood draped over his head, blocking my view of his eyes. “There’s also turkey legs, of course.”

I nodded. “I could’ve helped.”

“I know, but you’re tired.” Chrome shrugged.

“And so are you,” I said, knowing he was brushing me off.

“Yeah, but working with my hands and using a blade is therapeutic for me,” he said, grabbing a stick and a raw piece of meat, and then piercing the stick through it. He repeated the action to the other one.

I watched, annoyance rising in me as he did it for me, too. “I’m capable of doing things on my own, you know. You don’t have to do everything.”

He raised his striking gaze to peer up through his thick, dark lashes. It held a gentleness to it that made me squirm and look away. “I didn’t do this because I thought you couldn’t help me. You’re very capable. I just know you have a lot to process and probably needed some time by yourself.” His voice was unnervingly soothing.

I frowned. The thought never occurred to me that his actions came from a selfless place. My chest tightened, and then guilt squeezed it harder. “Oh, I didn’t think you’d…” I said, cutting myself off, realizing how harsh I was about to sound. I looked at him. “Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“I get it.” Was all he said before he returned to the stringent task of impaling pieces of turkey onto sticks.

I didn’t say anything as he worked. I just watched his calloused hands as his long fingers delicately picked up raw meat and skewered the thick slices in a smooth rhythm.

As I watched him work, I felt the weight of his past pressing on him, too. Whatever I’d gone through, he’d probably endured much worse.

It wasn’t until recent events I’d even allowed my daddy issues to affect me. It’d been my way of life that I’d accepted long ago. I never believed I’d experience anything different. It was always my belief he did it to make me an unstoppable assassin, to make me tough. And I thought if I did everything he asked, I’d eventually make him proud. It’d been my primary goal.

Oh, how I’d failed so epically.

But Chrome? He seemed to have demons that ravaged his soul at all hours. I wasn’t sure if I was prepared to know what he’d endured during his time at the King’s Palace.

“So,” I started, breaking the hypnotic sound of the crackling fire as my curiosity got the better of me. “What happened? Why did you flee Atlanta, and how did you manage to do it?”

Chrome’s body went rigid as he stared at the ground. I quickly got the sense that this was a dark demon he didn’t want to acknowledge. I regretted asking as soon as I saw his physical reaction, the coiled tension making me want to claw out of my skin.

I opened my mouth to tell him to forget about it when he said, “It’s a long story. The details aren’t that important, but essentially…” he trailed off, trying to find the right words. “Essentially, I’d reached my breaking point, and Forest’s own weapon became too unstable to control.”

My eyebrows rose to my hairline. “What do you mean, ‘you reached your breaking point’?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“It wasn’t just your father who ‘trained’ me,” he spit the word “train” like it was a curse as he continued spearing the turkey. “My mother was just as involved. As well as Grim.” My skin crawled at the mention of him. His presence had always made me want to flee in the opposite direction. “They put me in intense conditions and forced me to overcome them. It wasn’t until they used my sister as a form of…motivation that things took a turn for the worse.”

Peri, as everyone had called her—short for Periwinkle. She was the daughter of Amethyst and Grim. I’d never met her, but I’d seen her in passing. Everyone treated her as if she had been the beloved princess. I’d always admired her from afar, wishing I could be more like her with her outgoing and gentle nature, always known for her beaming smile and kindness.

The rumor was that Griffin Silas had broken into the Palace and attacked, killing several Kinetics—including Peri and Chrome. It was the event that had rallied our kind into backing my father’s decision to wage war against the Elementals. We were under the belief that the son of the deceased Elemental King blamed us for his father’s death, therefore wanting revenge.

Kinetics had been terrified. If one could breach our security and kill Chrome Freyr, then what else was this man capable of? He became the face of the Elementals and public enemy number one. But now, knowing Griffin and Chrome were one and the same, I begged to know the truth of this world-altering event.

My heart plummeted at the implications.

“What really happened that day, Chrome?”

He stood, holding onto the skewered turkey slices—one in each hand. His jaw worked as he stared off into the distant woods before responding, “Like I said, it’s a long story. But it’s a day that will haunt me forever.” He cleared his throat before taking a few steps toward me, handing me a stick.

I scooted the tree stump closer to the fire before hovering the piece of turkey over it. In my peripheral, I saw Chrome do the same. His brows were drawn together, as if lost in memories of his own. I didn’t want to pry, but I knew he was withholding more game-changing information.

Whatever it was, it seemed the truth was too horrid for him to speak.

We sat in silence, roasting our turkey meat until it was thoroughly cooked. It was flavorless, except for the smokiness seeped into it, but it was food. I didn’t care what it tasted like at that point.

“So,” Chrome spoke up, swallowing a piece of meat, “what happened with you? How’d you escape?”

I cleared my throat and stared at the naked stick in my hand, twisting it around in circles. “Well, after I returned from my failed mission,” I began and gave him a pointed look. “Thanks for the mortal wound, by the way.” An amused smirk grew on one side of his mouth, to which I rolled my eyes. “It was my birthday. So, there was the customary revel in my ‘honor’.” I said it with another eye roll and looked to the ground between my feet.

“I’ve always hated those things. Knew it would be a farce from the beginning. And it turned out I was right. My father ordered a bartender to poison my drink with redfern. If it wasn’t for Hazel, Scarlett, and Cotton…” Dread for their fates rose to the surface again and squeezed my throat. “I’d be dead. Hazel stole the antidote from your mother’s office. They packed my bag for me and held off the guards. It wasn’t pretty. I had to fight Grim…and confront my father,” I said, thinking of how I’d stabbed him in the spine. “And some warriors. But…I made it out.”

“Scarlett Kittle?” He angled his head to the side. “Daughter of the Guilds’ Supreme Commander Cammo? Sister of Granite and Cardinal?”

I nodded. “Mhm,” I hummed, swallowing a mouthful of turkey. “Yeah, she’s the emissary for the king.”

“Cammo was my primary trainer. Total asshole, but a good man. But he’s loyal to Forest. I’m surprised she went against him.” He chuckled. “She was always a fiery little shit.”

I laughed, imagining Scarlett’s fierce nature and her boldness, something I’d always admired about her. I could pretend to be fearless, but she wore it like the saucy dresses she loved. “She still is,” I said, remembering our exchange at the revel, missing her wit.

“Her brothers…” Chrome trailed off, grabbing more raw meat and impaling it on the stick before he continued, “Granite, is he still the Supreme Guards Commander?”

“Yes,” I said with a snort, reaching for more meat. “And these days, he’s got a stick ten times bigger than this one stuck up his ass because of it.” I waved the stick of turkey for effect.

Chrome chuckled. “We trained together a bit. He used to be such a cocky asshole, but I saw the pressure he was under. He never veered from his orders, always playing exactly by the book. The perfect soldier.”

I nodded, never having thought of it like that before. I wondered if Scarlett had.

“Cardinal, though,” Chrome said as he cracked a smile. “He’s my age, so I spent more time around him during my teen years. He was a bit more rebellious,” he explained, his grin wistful. “But with flattery and innocent denials, he could pretty much get away with anything.”

That sounded similar to Scarlett, but she didn’t even try hiding her rebelliousness. I struggled to imagine Cardinal the way Chrome described him, almost like they were friends. Perhaps they were. “He’s changed a lot.” I never realized he’d been anything besides the stoic statue he was now. “I’ve worked with him before on occasion. He’s an assassin like me, but he’s never struck me as having much of a personality.”

Chrome’s brows furrowed, and his shoulders dropped more. He finished cooking the piece of meat, then held it over his lap to cool. “Well, I guess, like the rest of us, that rebelliousness caught up to him.”

I swallowed and looked back at the fire that bathed the piece of turkey I held. “I suppose so.”

A heavy silence filled with the weight of our pasts sank over us. We sat in the pitch dark with only the light of our campfire illuminating the surrounding space.

I thought about the version of Cardinal I knew. To learn he’d once been a vibrant and youthful kid, that sounded so similar to Scarlett, disheartened me. I wondered what had changed for him. What had stolen his light?

I thought of Scarlett’s give-no-fucks attitude. Surely by now, my father had discovered her and Cotton’s involvement in my escape. And that meant one of two things: they were dead, or they were being tortured into submission. I prayed to the gods that neither was the case, and they’d listened to me. But we lived in a world orchestrated by a madman, and I no longer believed they’d get out of there alive.