Or so it felt.
I screamed; it was raw and guttural and ripped my vocal cords into flayed strips, releasing my anguish into nature’s embrace.
Chrome held me tight, anchoring me to the earth so it could absorb my suffering. I was so tired of holding myself on a tight leash all the time, so tired of hiding my emotions from the world.
Harsh sobs wracked through my body as I cried, while I wished I wasn’t having this ridiculous meltdown in front of him. It would taint how he saw me. Now, he’d know the truth. I wasn’t strong like I portrayed myself to be. I was broken. I’d just hoped I would’ve been able to piece myself back together without anyone bearing witness to it.
Severing the shackles of a lifetime of brainwashing was excruciating. The toxic patterns and mindset that had been instilled in me since birth were as hard as steel. And I questioned if I’d ever be strong enough to break them all.
The letter from my mother had been so many things to me. Not only was it a physical manifestation of her thoughts and emotions, but it was also the only piece of a loving parent I’d ever held. It was the closest thing to a hug from her I’d ever receive. It represented the stark contrast to my father, to show me that there was good in me after all. That I wasn’t just my father’s daughter. That maybe, through the letter, I’d be able to recognize the morality in me.
Now, it was gone.
Here I was again, so fucking pissed at constantly being under someone’s thumb, but once more, I was lashing out at the wrong person. I wasn’t mad at Chrome but at myself. It felt like I’d never be truly free; like every time I began to pick myself back up, my father’s fists knocked me back down, reminding me of my place.
I continued to scream until my voice could no longer withstand it. Chrome supported me against him, providing a safe place to unleash it all. The wind whipped around us, mixing between lashes and caresses, mirroring my warring emotional states.
“What do you need, Gray?” Chrome asked again. “I’ll do anything.” His voice was rough in my ear, full of emotion due to the turbulence he felt from me.
“I need…” I didn’t recognize my voice. “I need…” The adrenaline and anger fled my body, replaced by exhaustion instead. My head felt fuzzy, my throat sore, and my body weak. I felt empty as I sagged against him. He held me firm, a pillar of strength. “I need to be reminded of the good parts of myself.”
Chrome ran his fingers gently through my hair and massaged my scalp, relaxing me. The wind settled into a calming breeze, and the cold air seeped into my bones with the adrenaline gone. “There’s so much good in you, Gray. It kills me that you don’t see it. But I'll be more than happy to show you. As many times as it takes.”
“How?” I asked, my voice weak.
Chrome pressed his lips to the top of my head. “I have my ways.”
“I don’t like that you think I’m a savage.”
“I love that part of you,” he murmured against the top of my head. “As much as you bring me light, I bask in your darkness, too. Because I want all of you. Good, bad, light, and dark. Whole or broken. I want you to love the dark parts of yourself because dark and light exists within us all, Gray.” His baritone voice vibrated down my spine. “We can’t escape it. Running from ourselves never ends well. It’s only when we come to embrace our whole selves that we find any sort of peace. I may be a monster, but I’m a monster against other monsters. I’ll gladly be a monster for those I care about. My family. For you.”
Hot tears streamed down my face. “I don’t know if I can accept that part of me. It’s the part that belongs to Forest.”
“Did you not hear what Orion said about your mother? She was a fierce warrior. Powerful and ruthless when she needed to be. But she was also kind, gentle, and loving. Yes, your father molded you into a killer. But we can’t allow what he did to dictate our lives, to forfeit our happiness because we don’t think we’re worthy. Whatever shit he put in your head about being unwanted and unworthy was a ploy to control you, to manipulate you to his own ends.” He shifted his arm to trail a hand from the center of my chest and up the column of my throat, cupping me just under my jaw.
“You are so much more special and powerful than he ever allowed you to believe. He wanted you manageable because he saw what happened with me. He needed you on a tight leash. But you’re free now, my little savage. You’re ruthless, yes, but you’re also his worst nightmare because of it. It’s one of the most raw and beautiful parts of you, just as much as your compassion, heart, and light. I want to see it all.” He angled my head so I’d peer up at him over my shoulder. His ethereal beauty blurred through my tears.
My chest loosened, and warmth flooded my chest at the way he looked at me like I was his everything. His world. “I’m sorry.” My voice broke from the emotion he evoked inside me, hitting all the exposed wounds that I tried to hide. “I shouldn’t have attacked you over the letter. That wasn’t okay…”
“Shh.” Chrome’s thumb tugged on my bottom lip. “I appreciate your apology, but your defensiveness and anger are warranted. I understand it. Feeling that lack of control reminds you of your father and how you were treated.” He stroked his thumb across my cheekbone. “You’ll get there, Gray. It takes time. But in the meantime, I’m here for you to unleash on when you’re triggered. I can handle it.”
What remained intact of my heart shattered in his arms.
The kindness. The adoration. The strength.
But there was one thing that held me back from falling over the cliff with him. “I hate that I need to be saved, especially by a man. I’m not helpless, Chrome. And I’m not a damsel.” My stomach twisted at the realization of how much Chrome had saved me. And then how Slate had saved me all those years ago when I was more than capable of taking care of myself.
“Gray, you’re far from a damsel. Why do you think I’ve pushed you to train and hone all your abilities? I want you to have all your blind spots covered, as well as sharpening your fighting skills in the event I’m not around anymore,” he said, letting the notion linger. “I want you to be so fucking deadly that no one dares to look at you the wrong way. You’re my equal in every single way. No one can come close to challenging me like you do. And I love it so fucking much.”
Chrome swiped away the tears. “It doesn’t make you weak to accept help. We all need it. Life on a normal basis is hard to do alone. Which is why your father had us so isolated.” His eyes zeroed in on my bottom lip, sending my pulse racing for different reasons than before. “If you haven’t noticed, you’ve saved me just as much, Rainbow. You gave me hope. You brought me back from the brink of no return. You gave me freedom.”
In the same way he’d just grounded me from my panic, now, he sent me soaring through space, forgetting that oxygen was even necessary for survival. Fuck, he was the most beautiful being I’d ever seen. He lifted his eyes to meet mine, and a fiery passion burned within them, making the molten silver in his eyes swirl wildly.
“Everything inside me wants to gut your father and hang his corpse by his entrails for all the world to see for what he’s put you through. For every time he made you feel less. For every hair he hurt on your head. I want him to suffer so fucking slowly for it. But I can’t rob you of your justice. I will proudly watch you as you take what’s yours.”
The last of my walls crumbled. I grabbed the back of his head and yanked him toward me. He didn’t resist as our lips met, our breaths mingling and tongues dancing. It wasn’t gentle from either one of us.
I spun to where I straddled his lap, roaming my hands down his sculpted chest while his hands explored my curves. Greedy. Dominant.
“You’re mine, Gray Monroe.” Chrome tucked his head underneath the curtain of my hair, kissing and biting down the column of my neck. “You fucking own my decaying heart.”
I nodded, unable to speak as my body was set ablaze. I needed him in ways I had been resistant to admit.
Chrome pulled back and grabbed my chin between his forefinger and thumb, making me meet his eyes. “No matter what happens to me, I’ll always find you. In every lifetime. In every realm. Because it’s always been you for me—ever since I was ten years old.”
“I’m yours,” I whispered, and I meant it. I could no longer deny the powerful nature of our bond and the ways we complemented each other. The way he understood me and my needs on a level that not even Slate had. It was like he lived inside my soul and knew it intimately. And I could no longer deny the effect he had on my body, even since the night in the speakeasy. My will to fight my feelings for him was officially dead.
Chrome rose to his feet, my legs wrapped around his waist, and his hands cupped under my ass.
I assumed he planned to carry me all the way back to the lodge, but my assumption was proven wrong when my back hit a tree trunk, and his lips found mine once again. I was no longer cold despite the bitter chill sending goose bumps down my skin.
“I’m gonna have to ask you again, Gray. Are you sure you want this? You’re vulnerable, and I refuse to…”
I grabbed his cheekbones in my palms, noticing the anxious doubt weaving into his gaze. As if he didn’t believe that I could actually want this with him. “Chrome Freyr, I’m yours. Now, fuck me.”
Pure, unadulterated hunger roiled in his eyes. “Yes, My Queen.” Grabbing the hem of my sweater, he lifted it above my head, stripping me bare before him. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”
He dipped his head of chromatic hair, taking a peaked nipple into the warmth of his mouth. It was a delicious contrast to the cold air. I gasped, a moan slipping from my throat as I locked my fingers in the tree’s roots.
With a growl rumbling in his chest, he pulled away, slipping a hand into the waistband of my leggings. “Always so wet for me, little savage.” His fingers grazed the sensitive skin along my inner thigh en route to the apex. It was slow and teasing, making me yearn for more as my core tightened in anticipation of his touch.
My back arched, the bark of the tree biting into my shoulder blades, but I could care less. “Chrome…” I whimpered, not giving a single fuck how desperate I appeared.
With two fingers, he swirled the moisture around my opening before dipping them inside, earning a gasp from me. He groaned, “I’m gonna bury myself so deep inside you that you’ll feel like you’re magic itself.”
My lower stomach did a little flip, heat radiating through my body at his words.
He pushed his fingers in and out, stretching me. I cried out as he picked up speed, pumping harder with precision to hit that spot that made it so hard to breathe. “I’m gonna…”
Chrome withdrew his fingers and continued pinning me to the tree with his waist. My heart was ready to pound from my chest when he held my gaze with pure hunger and adoration shining in his eyes as he brought his fingers to wrap his lips and tongue around them. A growl emanated from him, deep and low. “I can’t get the taste of you out of my mind. My oblivion.”
He grabbed my waist and stepped back, easing me to the ground on unstable legs. I didn’t hesitate to drop to my knees. I needed to taste him and bring him to his knees. I grabbed the waistband and pulled him closer as I worked the button on his black cargos.
I pushed his pants and boxers down from his hips to his ankles, leaving him long and stiff before me. I leaned a few inches closer and licked his shaft from base to tip, absorbing his bliss.
An animalistic groan came from his diaphragm, sending more shocks of need through my core. I gripped the base of his cock in my fist and slowly wrapped my mouth around the swollen head. My tongue swirled lazily around it as I grew eager to take as much of him as I could. He hit the back of my throat with an uncontrolled thrust. I moaned before continuing to massage the silky skin with my mouth. His eyes rolled back in his head, which spurred me on further.
I ravished him, wanting to consume him in every way I could.
He retreated, erratic breaths coming from his nose. “Have I told you how much I love that dirty mouth of yours?”
“Show me.”
Chrome’s nostrils flared, and the challenge gleamed in his eyes. He kicked off his pants that clung to his ankles, then knelt before me, tangling his fingers in my hair and bringing me in for a hard kiss, tasting himself on my lips. Slowly, he guided my back to the hard earth, where he hovered above me. Removing my pants, he lined himself up with me.
His harsh breaths clashed against my own. Our lips grazed one another as he bore the weight of his emotions onto me through our bond. Tears sprang to my eyes at their intensity. My heart couldn’t contain it all.
I knew the word for it. It flashed big and bold in my mind’s eye, but I wouldn’t dare say it out loud. His eyes said it all, though, even if he didn’t voice it either. “Stay with me,” he whispered.
Another piece of my soul split open for him. I nodded, giving myself freely to the man I once swore to kill. I choked on the emotions, unable to speak.
The head of his shaft pushed against my wetness. My nails dug into his biceps as he entered me, his width stretching me more than I’d expected. We both groaned as he seated himself to the base, waiting for me to adjust to his size before he started to move.
It was slow, torturous. I needed more of him. I needed him to let go, to take me in ways our bodies craved.
“I want to hear you, Princess,” he said through clenched teeth, working to leash his restraint for my sake. But I wasn’t made of glass.
“I want you to stop holding back. I’m not fucking fragile.”
Something snapped in his eyes. He withdrew from me and snatched both my legs in the air to prop against his shoulders. “You’re right.” He curled his fingers around my ankles, bracing his weight as he slammed into me. I cried out, clawing at his legs while I no longer felt corporeal. I was lost—I wasn’t even on Earth as he continuously hit that spot from the angle he held me.
“My little savage wants it rough and deep?” His thrusts were relentless as he unleashed in the most euphoric of ways. Chrome pounded me into submission, showing his own inner savage.
Just as I was about to peak, he slowed his pace to achingly slow, causing me to growl at him in frustration. But his molten gaze never left mine, pinning me there. “You take me so fucking good, but we really need to work on your patience.”
Chrome cut off my remark when he flipped me over on my front. Snaking an arm around my waist, he lifted my ass in the air, leaving me completely bare to him. The air chilled my heated skin, but the heat from his teasing fingers skating down my spine sent more sparks throughout my body. “So beautiful.” He stopped to caress my ass cheek, and I felt his emotions bask in having me served up on a platter for him.
Chrome lined himself up with me again, his hand gripping me around my waist. He shoved himself inside while pulling my hips back to meet his thrust. I took the entirety of him in one stroke. I cried out as I rocked forward. “You’re so…” he said through gritted teeth, “fucking tight.”
I didn’t know how much longer my arms could hold me as he pummeled into me. The woods echoed our sounds, the lake reverberating my cries and moans back to us. Fisting my hair in a tight grip, he slowed his pace with deep thrusts, rolling into me.
I clenched around him, squeezing his cock. “Chrome, I need to…please.”
“That’s my good girl.” Then he tugged on my hair, wrapping his free arm around my waist, making me straighten my back against his front. The arm around my torso slid up the center of my chest and cupped the front of my throat. He kept his pace even, steady, holding me on the brink of ecstasy. Leaning forward, he kissed my earlobe, taking it between his teeth. “Come on my cock,” His gravelly voice alone was almost enough to send me over the edge.
Chrome’s mouth found mine as the orgasm washed over me, swallowing my sounds for himself. Oblivion claimed me as I imploded from the inside out. With it came a blast of air from my body mingled with the blue electricity of my magic. It didn’t spare Chrome. A deep, pleasure-filled groan rumbled in my ear, and I watched in awe as he seemed to absorb my uncontrolled magical blast into his body, sending pleasurable tremors down his spine. Suddenly, he withdrew and released me.
Chrome pulled me flush against him as we crumpled to the ground on our sides, facing one another. He peppered me with tender kisses on my forehead, nose, and cheeks just before settling on my lips as he caged me in his arms against his chest. I melted, feeling cherished in a way no one had ever made me feel before—not even Slate.
Something within our soul bond clicked into place. I couldn’t place it, but both forms of my magic felt different. More tangible. Secure. The chord that seemed to connect us felt more concrete.
I sensed him. I felt his energy in a way that was new like I had an internal Chrome GPS system. The tether connecting us through our bond felt more solidified.
Leaning back, I met his gaze. It swam with warring emotions that I felt him trying to mask.
“I feel it, too,” he said, almost as if he read my thoughts. But that wasn’t it. No. He read me in the same way I read him.
I had a feeling we’d just unknowingly done something irreversible regarding our bond. Something on a soul level that we didn’t understand.