Chapter Nineteen

“When you find the right person, you do whatever it takes to make it work.” Blue Moon

“You look like crap,” Eloise said from her hospital bed. The private room was large and airy and looked out to a green sea of trees, but Eloise, who usually loved being in the lap of luxury, still had tiny tense lines around her mouth. The baby was fine, but he knew she would still be worried

“Thank you for keeping things real, El.”

“That’s what you pay me the big bucks for.” She shrugged, her face free of makeup apart from her mouth, which was painted siren red. As were Ryan’s, thanks to all the kissing they insisted on doing.

Once again surrounded by lovers. Great. He stretched out his legs on the hospital chair.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked.

“Like I’ve been stuck in a bed for two weeks. You?”

Like I’ve been hit over the head with a sledgehammer five thousand times.

“Fine.”

“Anything you want to tell us?” She arched an eyebrow.

“Nope.” He shook his head. The pair of them had run a military campaign to find out what had happened in St. Clair, but he hadn’t been in the mood for sharing. Besides, nothing had really happened. Just business as usual.

He’d been dumped from a great height and was never going to make the same mistake again. No big deal.

“I don’t know why you’re holding out. She’ll crack you when she’s back to her full superpowers,” Ryan said in a fond voice, his hand entwined in his wife’s.

“There’s nothing to crack.” Adam got to his feet and kissed Eloise on the cheek. Then he pounded Ryan’s arm and headed to the door. “I’m going home, but I’ll see you both tomorrow. Try not to scare any more nurses with striptease acts.”

“Once,” Ryan called out after him. “It was only once.”

His agent called as Adam drove back to his apartment, but he let it go to voicemail.

“Jeez. Answer your phone. The preorders since we released the cover are going through the roof. You’re officially back. Call me.”

He didn’t bother. Instead, he climbed out of his car and walked inside as the irony twisted in his gut. Turns out all he needed was to be near Laney George to write it. Still. Ten weeks ago, that was all he’d wanted.

He checked the time. Still half an hour before the realtor arrived. Doug and Mary’s letters were sitting on his work desk. He’d read them multiple times and probably knew them off by heart. He randomly picked one up.

To My Dearest One,

Your meal is in the oven and just needs warming. I’m helping with the sewing circle and won’t be back until late. Don’t stay up and fret. Angelina will see me safely home. I made you a walnut pie but used honey instead of treacle because I know you like it best that way.

Your loving wife, Mary

He put it down.

Tilly said that death was a reminder of life. Was that why he kept reading them? To make himself feel better about being alive? If so, it wasn’t working. Not yet.

The intercom buzzed, and he got to his feet. It would be the realtor. He’d called her two days ago.

“Wow. This place is amazing. I can’t believe you’re parting with it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled. I’ll have buyers clamoring for it.” She was probably late twenties and dressed in a power suit. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she was checking him out.

He folded his arms. “Good. I need to stay in town for another six weeks, then I’ll be ready to move out.”

“So, where will the famous Doctor Josh go?”

He shook his head. He had no idea, but after the baby was born, he’d figure it out. After all, there was only one tiny town that was out of the running.

He’d find somewhere that felt like home. He had to.

…

“That’s it. Well done.” Laney stepped back to inspect the cascade of mixed foliage India had just finished.

“You sure?” India frowned from her perch on the ladder. “I could…no. You’re right. It’s done.” She climbed down the ladder, her eyes uncertain. “You really like it?”

“I really do. I’m so proud of you,” Laney said, and India promptly hugged her.

“Thanks, boss. You’re the best. Now I’d better get everything tidied up and go find the wedding planner.”

Laney walked back to the car. Violet was asleep in the passenger seat. They were at an old inn forty minutes out of St. Clair. Pete was already gone. Laney was half tempted to stay and make sure there were no last-minute problems, but she resisted. India might be young, but she could handle it, and it was the best way to learn.

She climbed into her car and waved goodbye. The spring flowers were starting to lose their rich colors, and the grasses were turning from green to brown as summer prepared to make itself known. She stopped at one of her favorite little glens and foraged some ferns for an upcoming job, then took the coast road back into town.

The sea merrily bobbed up and down, bleeding into the blazing blue sky. The color of—

Nope.

She cut off the thought. It was getting easier now. Probably because practice made perfect. But it was the only way. It had to be. She had no right to think about him. She’d been the one to end it. And she’d obviously done a really fantastic job, judging by the radio silence.

Unfair.

He was just doing what she’d asked.

Nice guy to the end.

There had been an article on the internet about how his new book was already being pushed as the next big thing. It had mentioned Eloise and Ryan and how the pregnancy was progressing.

When they reached the store, Violet jumped out of the car. Laney carefully gathered her plants and let herself into the little courtyard. She’d pruned and weeded it yesterday, determined not to let things get out of control again.

“There you are.” Sam poked her head through the gate on Paige’s side of the wall. “We have wine and chocolates. And we’re not taking no for an answer.”

“Good. I’d love to come over.” She forced herself to sound happy as she checked Violet’s water bowl. Drums clashed out in the afternoon air. Paige poured her a glass of wine, and Sam held up a small dish of deathly rich chocolate-covered almonds.

Yes to both.

Another drumroll rang out, and Sam shuddered.

“Paige, I hope your new tenant is coping with all the noise.”

“He’s working odd hours, so I doubt he’s even heard it yet,” Paige assured her and then turned to Laney. “Speaking of tenants, Adam called yesterday to make sure I got the final rent check. He asked about you.”

“He did? That’s nice.”

She hadn’t told anyone about the affair, apart from Jessica, and that hadn’t actually been a conversation. More like an unfortunate demonstration.

“Laney, we’re here for you. You don’t need to speak. Or be happy. Or do anything. We just wanted to say you’re not alone.”

A tear leaked out of her eye. “You know?”

“It was an educated guess,” Paige said in a gentle voice. “He never noticed anyone else, even though India and Sam could both be supermodels. I doubt he even knows what color eyes they have.”

“Paige is right. Not about the supermodel crap. But the other stuff.” Sam squeezed her hand. Another tear leaked out.

How could there be so much crying?

“I found this.” Paige got to her feet and walked up the low stairs into her stockroom. She returned with a neatly folded blue sweatshirt. “It was in your trash can. I had an extra bag from the store, and I was checking if you had room in yours. I couldn’t bring myself to leave it there. Just in case.”

Laney took the sweatshirt and bowed her head. Paige had washed it, but even with the unfamiliar scent, the soft, faded fabric was familiar. Her stomach twisted, and exhaustion swept over her. She was tired of trying to hide who she really was. The life I had before Simon. Yes, it was humiliating, but surely it couldn’t be worse than how she felt now.

And apart from Jessica, Paige and Sam were the closest thing she had to family.

With a deep sigh, she looked up at her two friends.

Time for the truth.

“I’m Nina. And no, I didn’t do most of the things he wrote about, but it was based on me.”

Her voice faltered as she told her friends about her two relationships with Adam Fitzpatrick. And how badly they’d both ended.

“Oh, you poor thing.” Paige’s own eyes filled with tears.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you both sooner. I was having trouble accepting it myself.”

“Been there, done that.” Paige held up her hands, referring to the start of her own relationship with Luke. They both turned to Sam, who scowled.

“Trust me, there are no secret lovers in my life, and that’s the way I plan to keep it. Relationships are far too much trouble. I’d rather stick with cupcakes and coffee.”

“From now on, I’ll be joining you.” Laney clutched at the sweatshirt. And if she said it enough times, she just might believe it.

“Is there really no way to fix it? You seem so perfect for each other,” Paige said.

“You know sometimes you leave a door a little bit open, and other times you shut it tight with a lock? Well, I used nails and reinforced steel,” she said, forcing away his hurt voice as he said he’d wait for her. “I can’t make the two halves of my world work. I can’t risk my relationship with Jessica and Brett. They’re my family. And the baby.”

“I’m so sorry.” Paige hugged her. “What are you going to do?”

“Same as what I’ve always done. Get up, smile, and hope one day it really will get easier.” Laney picked up the sweatshirt and handed it back to Paige. She might have told her friends the truth, but it didn’t change anything. Which meant she wouldn’t need it anymore.

…

“Do you like it?” Laney asked Jessica as they stood in the kitchen of Doug Right’s cottage. The peeling wallpaper was a mishmash of eras, and she had a terrible feeling there were mouse droppings on the floor.

But the view.

She sighed. The long window overlooked the fields where India stood taking photos to send to her parents, who were in Florida on vacation. Erika was talking to someone on her phone, and by the barn, Paige’s fiancé, Luke, was clutching his measuring tape so he could give her an estimate of the work needed.

“I love it,” Jessica said. She was due any day, and Brett had almost banned her from coming along. But the pregnancy hormones had given her a stubborn streak, and she’d refused to miss out. “Sorry I didn’t support you right from the beginning.”

“I get why you didn’t. I know it sounded impossible for me to start a farm from scratch. But I think I can do it.”

“I know you can.” Jessica squeezed her hand. It kind of hurt. She turned her head as her sister-in-law’s mouth tightened in pain.

“Jess, what’s happening?”

“I…think I just had a contraction.” She panted, brown eyes wide with confusion. “I’ve been getting Braxton hicks ones for a couple of weeks, but this feels…owww.”

“You’re in labor?” Laney stiffened, her heart pounding louder than Cal’s drumming. “Oh, boy. Right. We need to stay calm. I’m calling Brett.”

“But we have a lunch reservation after this,” Jessica wailed.

“The baby has other ideas.” She took both of Jess’s shaking hands in hers and helped her out the door. Violet whimpered and followed them. Luke immediately dropped his tools and jogged over, quickly followed by India and Erika.

They all helped ease Jessica into the back of the car. India climbed into the driver’s seat, and Luke headed to his own truck, obviously deciding a leader vehicle was required to get them safely to the hospital.

Erika locked up the cottage and promised to follow behind them.

They were going to the hospital in true St. Clair style.

“I’m not ready.”

“Yes you are, sweetheart.” She rubbed Jessica’s shoulders as India carefully drove down to the main road. “There’s a season for everything, and right now it’s time to go have your baby.”

“You won’t leave?”

“Not for one second.” She reached for her phone, her fingers shaking as she scrolled for Brett’s number. Then she grinned. “You ready to scare the hell out of your husband?”

Jessica gave a tiny giggle and took the phone. “For fifteen years, I’ve been waiting for him to lose his cool. If this doesn’t do it, nothing will.” Then she broke off and hitched in her breath. “Hey honey, hope you’re not too busy…”

…

“What do you think?” Ryan said, holding a giant stuffed tiger that was almost as big as the room. “Too much?”

“Yes.” Adam didn’t look up. “And before you ask, so is the gorilla in the corner. Eloise will send them back when she gets home; you might as well save her the trouble. And lay off the green juice. It’s messing with your judgment.”

Ryan put down the tiger and narrowed his eyes at the glass bottle of the bespoke juice. There was a whole crate of the stuff in his brother’s house, and Adam had a similar crate, care of Eloise. She’d decided, since the baby was due in two weeks, neither of them could risk being drunk when they got the call. The stuff tasted disgusting.

She’d been released from the hospital last week and gone out for a manicure.

“Fine. But if I can’t keep these magnificent beasts, then you can’t keep sulking over those stupid letters.”

This time, he looked up. He’d taken to working at his brother’s house to keep an eye on him, and because he found it easier than sitting in his own place. The silence had been deafening. The elegant marble table was taken over by his research.

Doug and Mary’s letters were there, along with the many photos he’d taken of the cottage. The plot hadn’t come to him yet, but threads of the story were teasing away in the corner of his mind. Different from his other books but worth exploring.

“Stupid,” Ryan repeated as he strode over and randomly plucked one up. “‘To My Dearest Love, here is your lunch. I know how hard you work, so please don’t forget to eat. The tomatoes are from the garden. Look to the house and think of me. Your loving wife, Mary.’ Tell me how this is romantic?”

“Because she misses him even when he’s just out in the field. She made him lunch. And wrote him a note. You’re a real killjoy.”

“And you’re a daydreamer.” Ryan put down the letter and picked up one of the photos. “You ask me, this says more about their marriage.”

“It’s a picture of the kitchen.” Adam craned his neck. It was taken after he’d cleared away the towering piles of newspaper and cardboard that had covered the counters, leaving behind the wallpaper, peeling and dulled with age.

“It’s a picture of the truth. See that dent in the wall? That’s where your precious Mary threw a frying pan at Doug’s head because he got beets on his white shirt.”

“That didn’t happen.”

“Happened to me. Though it was red wine. But same deal.” Ryan picked up another photo of the bedroom. “And look at this. Someone definitely had the chainsaw out.”

“Also not true,” he said in a dry voice and took the photo out of his brother’s hand. Ryan ignored the scowl.

“This Doug fellow didn’t stick with Mary because of these notes. It was because he messed up the kitchen, she probably yelled at him, and then they made up and carried on. They had a foundation. A house.”

Adam frowned. “Do you really believe that’s what makes you and El work?”

“That and the great sex.” Ryan grinned.

“Is there a point?”

“Sure. Don’t be a dumbass.” His brother sat down at the table and stretched out his legs so they were resting on the giant stuffed tiger. “Is this about the thing you refuse to talk about?”

“Nope.” He shook his head. Despite the ongoing campaign, he still hadn’t mentioned it to either of them.

“Thought so.” Ryan’s eyes were curious. “Where did you leave it with Laney?”

His jaw ticked. So Eloise had told Ryan about their past. It had to happen. Adam pinched the bridge of his nose, too tired to even pretend.

“Let’s see. After she dumped me, I said I’d wait. She said don’t bother because I’m not compatible with her dead husband.”

Second choice all over again.

“Well, wait better.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Adam opened his eyes as Ryan studied one of the photos, turning it in several directions as if trying to get a different view.

“Wait better,” his brother repeated. “This…what you’re doing. It’s not waiting. It’s moping. Even the tiger’s getting depressed.”

“It’s an inanimate object. It has no opinion.”

Ryan stretched out a thick muscular arm and clapped him on the back. “If you’re going to wait, then make it count. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

“How?” he said. Ryan started to laugh. “Glad you’re finding this amusing,” Adam retorted.

“Oh. I am. I should record it. El would love it.”

“Love what? Did you spike your juice?”

“Definitely not drunk. Adam, you can make anything work. Exhibit A is my knocked-up wife, who is about to pop out my child.”

“Do I need to go over the birds and bees for you again? I didn’t do that particular work; you did. And El.”

“None of which would have happened if you hadn’t been okay about us.”

“Trust me, I definitely wasn’t okay when I found out about the affair.”

Ryan ran his hand through his perfect hair and gave him a rueful smile. “I’ll let you have that one. But it wouldn’t have gone any further if you hadn’t forgiven us.”

“The pair of you are pretty stubborn. I didn’t have a choice.” He bowed his head.

“We’re not that stubborn.” Ryan’s voice dropped. “And you did have a choice. If you hadn’t been able to forgive us, it wouldn’t have gone anywhere. One of the only things we’ve always agreed on. We’re not quite as oblivious as you think. You can make anything work.”

Adam’s head shot up. This was new information.

The lighthearted expression around his brother’s mouth had disappeared. He was serious.

“I didn’t realize,” he finally answered.

“’Course not. Because we both know I’m the clever one here. Not to mention incredibly good-looking. As voted by Hot Jocks Over Forty.” Ryan gave him a light punch on the arm. “Question is, what are you going to do about it?”

“I have no idea.” He shook his head as Beyoncé started to sing. Eloise. She’d changed both their phones so they both kept getting Queen Bey songs. One day he’d have to figure out how to change the damn thing.

He checked his own screen, but Ryan already had his up to his ear.

“Hey, beautiful. I’m sorting out my kid brother, but I’ll be… What? But we still have ten days. Oh, hell… Yes, I’m calm. You’re the one who’s panicking. Just wait. I’m on my way. Where are my keys? I’m fine. I love you…more than that…you know how much. Yeah, bye.”

Ryan’s perma-tanned face went white as he frantically stalked across the room, emptying wooden bowls and drawers onto the floor. “Baby’s coming. Contractions. El went to the hospital. Gotta go. Need keys.” He yanked another drawer from the cabinet and spilled the contents. “Oh, and the tiger. Can’t forget the tiger.”

He abandoned the search for the keys and picked up the giant stuffed animal. Adam jumped up, his own car keys in hand. He hurried over and peeled Ryan’s fingers from the death grip around the tiger.

“It’s okay, big guy. I’ll drive. You ready to go meet your baby?”

Ryan blinked and nodded, his eyes still stunned. “Baby. She’s having the baby. I’m going to be a father.”

“Yup.” Adam quickly pushed him toward the door before his brother remembered about the giant gorilla. “And you’re going to do fine.”