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It was the following day when I started feeling a little feverish. No surprise, considering that I’d spent a cold night out doors with soaked feet. I kept to my room the day after, unable to shake it off. Worse, my blood had come in and compounded my sickness. Compared to last time, however, it felt far more manageable.
Still, Syaoran fretted when he heard I was unwell. And Lord Kwan, on hearing, came to see me. I’d asked him not to spend his magic on me, now that I knew threats like Gumiho were still present, though he insisted on doing so anyway. I suppose, given the last time I fell ill enough to keep in my room, the concern was warranted.
It made me happy, knowing that he would still fuss over me. Maybe he wouldn’t fall in love with me in return, but this might also be as close as I could have to love. My village thought I was ruined by him anyway; given five years, perhaps every village around the mountain would hear the same rumor. And I wouldn’t be treated like his personal territory, unlike Juro. The closeness of our friendship would have to suffice in place of a romance.
I was well again in a few days, happily taking up chores and being out of my room. I stashed away the puzzle box, and decided that I might let Koji sleep in my room now and again to help keep his smell around. So long as he was quiet, no one would find out.
Before all that, I still needed to clean up my clothes. My plans fled from my mind when I entered my room to fetch them. My rabbit was in the wrong place. And it didn’t look as tattered. Rather, it looked fresh. New.
In my work to improve my sewing, the one thing I never did was mend any part of the toy. It felt too much like destroying the last thing I had of my mother.
I rushed to it, picking it up to inspect with a tightly furrowed brow.
“My lady?”
I jumped at the sound of a stranger’s voice, turning on my heel to look. A girl stood in my doorway, holding a closed basket. Black hair, styled prettily, framed her face and cascaded down her back. Brown-orange, cattish eyes stared at me with questions.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” said the girl. “Are you Lady Hisa?”
I shook my head, twisting my expression as I dissected what she’d said. “I mean, I’m Hisa, but I’m not a lady.”
She blinked, equally as confused as I was. “Lord Kwan hired me to attend and tutor a special guest of his. He said I would be attending Hisa.”
I stared, clutching my rabbit.
Seeing it, she put on a sheepish smile. “I fixed it for you, my lady. Are you expecting?”
“Expecting what?” I said, thoughtlessly.
Her expression faltered. “Is... That’s a child’s toy. Are you not...?”
I stared. My mind knew the implication, but denied it.
“Are you not expecting a child?”
“No!” I said, shaking my head furiously.
She stared, brow bunching. “Then... You’re not his mistress?”
At the very word, I glared.
Without hesitation, she bowed with her apology. “Forgive me. I’ve only just arrived, and with all the talk, I assumed.”
I stood, stupefied and not knowing what to do.
“If I may ask, my lady, since you’re not his mistress. What is your relation to Lord Kwan?”
“His servant,” I answered.
She looked between me and the veranda, back and forth with her mouth agape. “I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I,” I said, taking brisk steps out to look for Lord Kwan myself.
I found him almost right away, tending to something in his room. He looked at me with a quirked brow, since I’d forgotten manners and didn’t announce myself.
“Hisa?”
“Who is she?” I asked, accidentally rough in my tone.
He stared, silent.
It was his usual self, but something about it infuriated me today. “And why does she think I’m pregnant with your child?” I demanded.
He gave an amused look. “Does she?”
“It’s not funny!”
He walked over, placing a hand on my head. “I was about to come find you. Uno is here to prepare you for Mokryon.”
I swatted him away. “Why couldn’t Lin or one of the girls here help me? What so sp—?”
His fingers went under my chin, thumb zipping my lips. “Hisa.”
“Lord Kwan.” I scowled.
His hint of a smile came on his face. “I wanted you to feel comfortable as a guest in Genji’s home. Uno is here to help in that regard. Things are different away from the house. And it’ll be seen as disrespect if you hide yourself away the entire time. Especially since Genji invited you himself. He expects to see you.”
“See me?” I said, becoming sheepish with what that might imply.
“As he does with all his guests.”
“But what’s so different that I need an attendant?”
He looked at me, amused by my frustration, and brought his hand up. His fingers glided over my cheek and combed into my hair. “To style yourself, for a start. Syaoran would be happy.”
“What does it matter if he’s happy with my hair?”
He stared at me, blank. His hint of a smile fleeing, he blinked.
“What is Mokryon that I would need to know all this anyway?”
His previous expression resumed. “It’s also called Maiden’s Day, celebrating the legend of a famous Juneun who went into the fray against fallen gods in the earliest years of the world. She sacrificed her immortality, and became human. The day is to honor her memory. It’s special to spirits.”
Maiden’s Day? I’d never heard of it, or the story that accompanied it.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if four or five hundred guests arrived.”
“Hundred?” I repeated with dread.
His smile grew a little, kindness glinting in his eyes. “Now you see why I want to make sure you’re prepared? That’s not including how overwhelmed I think you’ll be with twenty miles of castle.”
“Twenty miles?” I echoed, higher pitched than before. How could any one place be so large?
He quirked a brow at my horror. “Kwang’s estate is short of eight miles. My ancestral home is fifteen. I like to keep things simple and smaller.”
I’d always assumed Lord Kwan’s home was large, or at least average of a Juneun lord.
“The royal palace is around fifty-two miles. I used to get turned around in there whenever I visited as a boy.”
I was jaw dropped. Compared to the royal ground, Genji’s home sounded humble, and Lord Kwan’s miniscule.
“Best to know how to conduct yourself,” said Lord Kwan. “You’ll be free to wander the grounds, save for certain times in the day. Namely the early morning, and before and after the banquet. The rest of the day is yours to enjoy the castle, unless I send for something.”
“Couldn’t I just stay beside you or Syaoran?” I begged.
“You could,” said Lord Kwan. “Though there may be times I need to send Syaoran for something. And I expect I’ll be called to private conferences throughout the celebrations.”
“I couldn’t attend them with you?”
He gave one, slow shake of his head. “It wouldn’t be a good look for you to cling to Genji’s side either. He has his own duties as host.”
I was doomed.
“I don’t think I want to go...”
“Refusing Genji’s invite would be seen as rude to both him and myself.”
New guilt bit into my gut.
“If you really insist,” said Lord Kwan. “I won’t make you go. Genji will be disappointed. He’s fond of you.”
****
It was strange to have someone combing out my hair and tying it up. After a decade of dealing with it myself, I couldn’t shake the initial discomfort. Uno stayed diligent, walking me step by step as she performed the task to help me remember it. I practiced it myself, of course. There was also the matter of etiquette. Feng had given me a good start, though in everything else I was still clumsy. The attendants of visiting lords and ladies would be dining together, and my table manners were a mess. My own ignorance of it would reflect badly on Lord Kwan and Genji both, making me determined to improve in the few months I had.
Uno didn’t just help me to improve for Mokryon. Since she spent so much time around me, and with the cold of winter keeping us indoors, she also assisted with domestic skills. However, I couldn’t have her and Koji in the same room. She expressed a fright of dogs ever since a couple had chased and bit her as a little girl.
The solstice right around the corner, she asked a question that burned in her since our first meeting, though she’d abstained from repeating. “So, you’re not a lover to Lord Kwan?”
I shook my head. “I’m his prisoner, working off a debt. But we’ve become good friends since.”
She scrunched her face, eyes looking off to nothing as she mulled it over. “He is strange. Not in a disrespectful way. Just that his decisions aren’t what I expected.”
I continued my needlework. “What do you mean?”
“You’re his personal attendant. But he doesn’t require you to go to his room for dressing or the usual expectations. You’re his prisoner, but free to roam the estate. He’s the enemy of Gumiho, but keeps a fox spirit in his company and highly ranked in the house. He called me back, despite almost everyone else having more experience and might be better to assist in preparing you. And you’re the special guest I was appointed to wait on, but you’re his servant and not a romantic interest. It’s odd, don’t you think?”
I chuckled. “Everything has been odd since I arrived. So, I guess I don’t notice when it’s particularly strange. Except sometimes.”
“You mean me?”
I smiled at her.
She smiled back, demonstrating the next steps in a pattern. “If it’s alright to ask, is it because you’re intended for Lord Juro? Or Master Syaoran?”
“He doesn’t like to be called master,” I said, thoughtless. I realized again how laxed my manners were, understanding what Uno meant in my tutelage. “But, no. I’m not. For either.”
She shrugged, offering a look of apology. “It’s just, so much of the staff talks about how Lord Juro sends you lavished gifts, and says you’re his bride.”
I scoffed. “I wish I could give them away. But the truth is, I’m afraid of him.”
“Because he’s a Kurai?”
“Because he’s intruded on me when I’ve tried to refuse him before. I don’t want to invite his ire. Otherwise, I’d be blunt. For now, I’m still a servant. I can’t be so bold.”
“I understand,” said Uno, stopping a laugh. “But, if you’re not so attached to Lord Kwan, or he to you, why do you object?”
“I...” it was a question that’d come up so many times. And it never got easier to answer. I suppose it did look silly from an outside perspective—but if they knew, if they went through it, they’d understand. “He treats me like property rather than a person. I could never marry anyone who did that, no matter how handsome or wealthy.”
She gave me a queer look. “That’s fiercely independent of you. In other houses, a servant girl or boy is treated more like property than an individual. So, I guess most of us are used to it and wouldn’t care.”
It was my turn to reflect her expression. I hadn’t noticed that in Lord Kwan’s home. It wouldn’t surprise me if his older brothers acted that way, but for it to be the majority? “Did your previous lord do that?”
She shook her head, shying. “The truth? He took us in. Me, and my sister, that is. We worked for him as low maids, but he fell in love with my sister and married her. Something she couldn’t refuse. Though, it brought me up to learn all the things I’m showing you now. Comparatively, I’m far better off now as the attendant to a lord’s special guest.”
It always fascinated and horrified me to listen how the other servants saw themselves and their masters. Talks of status, competition, comparing themselves, planning, what they treated so casually and what was considered a great insult.
“But what about Master Syaoran? There’s talk as well about how close the two of you are. And he is handsome. Certainly, he could afford for his wife to live comfortably—maybe not lavishly, but comfortable.”
“We’re just friends,” I said with a laugh. “I did have a small crush when I first arrived. He was the only one who was openly kind and warm towards me. But I’m not the sort of woman he’s attracted to. In any case, it’d be weird for a human and a Juneun to elope, wouldn’t it?” I looked to read her expression, not only to her response, but to see if I’d used elope correctly in conversation.
“You refer to him as a Juneun?”
I nodded. “I don’t see him or Lord Juro as Kurai. Neither does Lord Kwan or anyone here.”
She took a moment to consider it. “I suppose. But, if Master Syaoran did change his mind, and confessed his feelings, would you refuse him?”
I chuckled. “I don’t think that’s likely to happen. But I never thought about it.”
A pause took place.
“But would you?” prodded Uno, attempting a shy tease.
I shrugged, smiling. “Maybe. I could never take him seriously. He jokes too much.”