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We’d nearly reached the edge of Genji’s lands where Lord Kwan could then cast his spell to spirit us home, when one of the magpie servant boys flew up to call for Lord Kwan. There was some matter to return to regarding his brother’s apprenticeship. He’d ordered my dismount, lifting me onto Saburo and placing my sack with us.
“Saburo knows the spell,” said Lord Kwan. “He will take you back. I will arrive shortly after. Tomorrow at the latest.” Nothing more was explained as he sent us off, sharing awkward glances.
Dizziness took me before reaching the other side of the spell, as it had before. I bore it better, knowing now to expect it. However, recovery from it fast ended when we came through the inner gate.
“Where’s Lord Kwan?” demanded Lin as we dismounted.
“He stayed behind with unfinished business,” said Syaoran. “He’ll be here tomorrow.”
“We need him now,” said Lin, impatient. “It’s about the new girl, Uno.”
“What about her?” I asked, unfastening my things from the saddle.
“She’s a fox spirit spy,” said Lin.
Syaoran and I both stopped to look at her.
“Just because she’s a fox spirit, doesn’t make her a spy,” I said.
“Then why did she hide it from everyone?” snapped Lin. “Everyone knows about Syaoran being in Lord Kwan’s household. If she didn’t come to spy or work against us, she shouldn’t need to hide her identity.”
“How did you learn this?” asked Syaoran. His voice kept steadfast, though his ears flattened in submission.
“Koji got off his leash two days ago,” said Lin. “She ran and took a tumble. Her hair fell out of place and her ears showed.”
“That’s not enough to say she came here to spy,” I said, righteous anger brewing up in me.
“Hisa,” commanded Syaoran, “calm yourself.”
“But—”
“Put away your things,” continued Syaoran. “This is a matter for the master.” He took my sack from me, a cue to follow.
Reluctant, I obeyed. At my door, he looked over his shoulder at me, closing his eyes as he breathed out a sigh. I realized his meaning, that he was ending the sight spell. When he turned away to open my door, I did likewise. Whether or not Urekkato told him I had a sight spell on me, or if he only suspected, he didn’t mention.
“Uno’s not a bad person,” I plead once inside.
“I know,” said Syaoran. “I already sifted that out.”
My expression twisted.
“From the moment I saw her,” explained Syaoran, “before Lord Kwan picked her. I knew she was a fox spirit.”
“But—then, why didn’t you—?”
“Because it wouldn’t do any good,” said Syaoran, half scolding me. “How does it look if one fox deems another has no ill intent without evidence, only her word?”
I couldn’t argue that much, not after how much the nobles gossiped and what grief it brought on Lord Kwan. It’d look suspicious if Syaoran was the one to make the decision. Lin probably did all she could to show a level headedness, and not have her position challenged while not acting so hastily.
“Then let me at least stay beside her,” I said. “She’s my attendant, and my responsibility, right? So—”
“Absolutely not,” said Syaoran. “Everyone knows Kwan has a bit of favoritism, even if he won’t admit it. Regardless of whether or not it’s true, it’ll look that way. And it’ll breed resentment in the house. You have to let this run its course.”
“But she’s good!” I argued. “Can’t I do anything for her?”
He sighed, giving me an apologetic expression. “Not without evidence of her good character. Gumiho may be gone, but that doesn’t absolve every fox spirit of wrong doing if they served under her. Who’s to say Uno isn’t loyal to a different Kurai? I know it sounds convoluted. And it is. But that is the argument they are making.”
I started to understand more, feeling the sting of defeat before I could fight. “That’s not fair.”
“I know,” said Syaoran, half matching my tone.
“Can’t I at least see her?”
He stared a while, deep in thought. “Only for a short while. With someone supervising it—not me, a house guard. Whatever you want to do or say needs to be done in that time. No going back and forth. Doing that will only draw in more suspicion.”
I nodded, taking my turn to think of every possible thing I could do or bring to be of comfort. Likely, she’d be in the kennels like I was. Where Koji was. The poor girl, as if things weren’t bad enough for her. I didn’t wait for Syaoran’s approval, yanking off the covers of my bed and digging through to find a warmer dress to give. We weren’t sized the same, but I thought it would help having a change of clothes and means to clean up—to not feel like an animal.
In remembering my earliest catastrophe, I fetched a cloth for that as well.
I’d asked the cooks for extra spring peas with her supper, knowing that was her favorite. They relented when I agreed to thresh the rice. Gi became my escort when I explained things, and we pretended not to notice the side eyed glances and grumblings.
Uno stayed curled in the far corner of the kennel opposite Koji. In seeing me, her eyes flooded with tears. “Lady Hisa!”
I cringed at the title. “They said I can’t stay too long, but I tried to bring as much I could think to help.”
Gi, keeping stoic, opening her cell and allowing me in with my armful of things.
“But, my lady, that’s your bedding,” said Uno, shying.
“It can get cold in here,” I said. “And the floor is uncomfortable stone. You’ll catch a cold, or worse.” I set the things down, trying to appear dignified. Quiet, I couldn’t help look at her black, fox ears. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
She retreated into herself, and I saw the reflection of what I probably looked like four years ago. “I... I didn’t want trouble. So, I would fashion my hair over my ears. My tail is easier concealed with my dress. I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking to cause problems, I swear! I was only—”
I wrapped my arms around her. “I know. You have a kind soul. Lord Kwan will see that too.”
“Will he make me go away?” asked Uno, timid. “If I go home, disgraced like this, I’ll reveal my sister! After everything she’s done to get us away, and my brother-in-law—”
I shook my head. “I know how you feel. And even if everyone says there’s nothing I can do, I’m going to still try and fight for you.”
She stared, lashes batting away water.
“Are you ashamed to be my attendant?”
“No, my lady.”
“And I’m not ashamed to have you. You’re a good person. I’ll do everything to make Lord Kwan see that. He won’t send you away.”
“I’m afraid of him...” admitted Uno in a whimper. “He hates foxes.”
“He might seem stony and cold, at first,” I said. “But he’s kind. He tries to be just, and he takes on more responsibility than any other person is willing. I promise, he doesn’t hate you. Even after he learns you’re a fox spirit, he won’t hate you. And Syaoran agrees you’re a sincere person.”
She shifted her stance, dropping her gaze. “Will Lord Kwan listen to Master Syaoran?”
“He’s a fiercely loyal friend,” I said. “I think Lord Kwan will listen. Believe in him.”
I stayed with her as long as I could, holding her, until Gi prompted me to leave. All I could do is promise that I wouldn’t forsake her, and I meant it.
Sleep evaded me through the night, and the following morning stretched into forever, in no rush to pass by and bring Lord Kwan home.
He arrived in the late afternoon, dismissing any urgency from Lin and calling for my attending him with a red tea. As much as I wanted to ignore the request and get right to helping Uno, I knew I had a better chance if he was more rested from the journey first; and I could make the first case while attending him.
For a long time, we said nothing. He looked occupied with thoughts as he sipped at his tea, and I tried to conjure up the best way to plead on behalf of Uno.
“Hisa,” said Lord Kwan, sounding distant.
“Yes?”
“If you had someone dear in your heart, would you tell me?”
I blinked. Where did that come from? He didn’t look at me, making it harder to guess what he meant by it. “My lord?”
He turned his head enough to meet my eye. “Would you?”
I did have someone like that in my heart. I had him. But, even now, with the perfect opportunity to say it, I couldn’t. Why were those three words so easy to say to Syaoran, but not to the man I was hopelessly in love with?
“I would,” I said.
Why was I such a coward? Maybe from some deep part of me that already knew what his answer would be. Regardless of what anyone implied, he’d said himself that he wasn’t in love with anyone, and it was childish to think my confession would change that—or that it would cause him to fall in love with me over any Juneun lady.
He stared at me a moment, making me think he wanted to say something more.
“And you, Lord Kwan?” I said, if only to break the silence. “Would you tell me if you had someone special in your heart?”
His hint of a smile made its appearance. “I would.”
It should’ve made me happy. Instead, I forced on a smile. For now, I knew there was no one he was in love with, but I also dreaded the day when he would tell me there was. And I still couldn’t make myself confess my feelings, much as I wanted to.
“Lord Kwan,” I started, making myself brave. It didn’t last more than a second. “I have a favor to ask. About Uno...”
His expression went from one of friendliness to intrigue to its usual stone-self as I explained. I’d hoped he would say something, rather than study me with a cold stare. When he stood, I sucked in a small gasp, feeling that I’d ruined any good chance of correcting the situation, and that I’d been too bold in my friendship with Lord Kwan.
He walked out without a word, leaving me stunned where I sat. When I regained myself, I bolted after him, only to be caught by Syaoran along the veranda.
“Don’t,” said Syaoran. “He’s going to her now. You can’t be seen interfering.”
I looked at him, pleading.
He set a hand on top of my head. “I know. I’d be the same way if it was you. That’s why we can’t make it look like we pressured his decision, whatever it might be.”
He was right. My going would only make things more difficult for Lord Kwan. Remembering the trouble I caused in Tetsuden, I relented.
An hour had passed. I kept beside Syaoran, pacing while he tried to seem unbothered with his own serving of floral tea. When Lord Kwan emerged from the kennels, Uno in tow with her hands folded and head low, I needed to resist rushing to them. Looking to Syaoran, I made a silent plea for what to do.
He gave me a sorry look, and nothing more. Something I took to mean I ought to stay put, but that there wasn’t a certainty in that decision. When I couldn’t bear it, I went after them at a brisk pace.
“Lord Kwan,” I called. “If I—”
Again, Syaoran caught me, interrupting my beg and putting me into a bow. “We will wait here, my lord, if you require either of us.” He put more pressure between my shoulders, coaxing me to sit in a deeper, humbling bow. “We await your decision.”
Uncomfortable as it was, I knew he meant to shield me from my brash action. In this matter, we were his servants before his friends. So, I sat at the edge of the veranda in front of his door, proper, with Syaoran by my side. Not a sound came from the room. He’d likely cast his silence spell, as he’d done when explaining the puzzle box to me.
The sun now set, I stayed in place. My legs tingling and fast turning numb, I didn’t move. Syaoran took my hand, firm for comfort, keeping perfectly still otherwise. Crickets began their songs, and we waited.
When the door at last opened, Syaoran cued me to take another humbled bow, waiting for Lord Kwan to speak.
“Collect your things from the kennels, Hisa,” said Lord Kwan. “They are not needed there anymore.”
I looked up, uneasy. Uno stood to one side, bashful and shamed. When I opened my mouth to say something, to ask, Syaoran again stopped me.
“If you don’t require either of us, allow me to assist Hisa’s retrieval.”
Lord Kwan nodded, giving a last, wordless look to Uno, and stepped back to close his door.
Desperate, I looked from Uno to Syaoran and back until I had the cue to get up. Then I leapt to my feet to go to her.
She shied from me initially, like a child that’d been thoroughly scolded. “Do you require my assistance, my lady?” asked Uno in a whisper.
I blinked, taking it in. “Does that mean...?”
“I will stay one year longer,” said Uno, sheepish. “Unless dismissed before that time, if you no longer require me.”
“That’s good news, isn’t it?”
She struggled to meet my eye. “After I make my formal apology to the house... But it’s likely I’m exposed beyond the estate, and jeopardized my sister.”
I threw my arms around her. “We have a year to think about how to fix things. Don’t worry.” Somehow, the promise flew from me easily. My own reputation destroyed in my home, I didn’t know how I would make this pledge hold.