| |
After a long ado of reassessing Uno, and tired from the week before, Kwan didn’t detect a hint of dishonesty. Merely a desperation. He’d run her around, tiring her to see if there was any slip in her story. None. It wasn’t rehearsed, but consistent all the same. She and her sister had fled from Gumiho, fearful of their queen and the warpath. The bond between them severed through sacrifice.
It’d been her sister to insist on her application, rather than take it up herself, hoping to bestow better protection as well as favor. Whether the intention was in seducing Kwan through innocence, or mere elevation by association with his name protecting her, or if her brother by law had a hand in the orchestration, remained unclear. Not that it mattered. A jibe at his past or the greed of his station was irrelevant at present. The girl’s greatest fear was exposure. A lingering notion from Gumiho’s reign—undoubtedly, her lord brother pressed her to go since hearing of the queen’s downfall.
Some legalities still needed review the following morning. Though, with the headache of the past week, Kwan decided to ignore it and called for a bath to be drawn. He walked the veranda, using the mountain air to clear out his thoughts.
A small voice and a playful bark drew his attention. Watching, he stayed transfixed on how happy she looked. More at ease here, where she felt safe. A far cry from how she’d arrived. He started to smile as well, listening to the sound of her laughter.
A magpie indeed.
His pacing brought him to the bathhouse, where steam already seeped out. He thought it was quick, given how long ago he’d called for it. Or, perhaps his wandering had gone longer than he intended.
Inside, the tub half-filled, he breathed in the perfume and undressed. Head under the spout, he enjoyed the sensation of the water cascading down.
On a whim, he submerged, staying for as long as his lungs would allow. The crashing noise of the water stopped. He stayed longer, relishing in the weightless feeling. When he needed breath, he stood. A shriek instantly drawing his attention.
“Hisa?”
It took a while for his ears to process her rambling into something sensible. She was so close to him, bare and shy. No false modesty. No pale, porcelain flawlessness. She was real. And it took all his will not to reach out, to check that this was, in fact, real.
“Could I ask you to turn around?”
He found her endearing, and couldn’t help tease. “You could ask.”
The more frustrated she became, the more he felt besotted. Until she became saddened. His heart cooled with guilt. Before he realized, he was going to her, a want to comfort and protect her, and stopped when remembering their nakedness.
She was so close to him. And it tore at him to see her so distressed. His hand reached out, needing him to remind himself again of their circumstance. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to him. So, he recoiled.
“Will you let jealous words dictate the rest of your life?”
It weighed his heart to think she would despise him for this. That she would reject him. She wasn’t above it, having rejected Juro—something he was certain his entire female staff would’ve gladly taken.
Hisa wasn’t like that. And he loved her for it.
“You’re not angry that I... saw you?”
Amused, Kwan corrected. He’d thought it the other way around, even if all he’d caught were the backs of naked shoulders.
“On my last birthday. You gave me nineteen kisses, unprompted. I just wanted to know why. I keep thinking you have someone else in your heart, but it didn’t feel that way when...”
Kwan steeled himself. He didn’t want her to suspect, to think she was required to accept his advance. It hurt in his gut, swallowing words he longed to say. It hurt more hearing her refer to herself as a lowly prisoner. Not his Hisa... Except, that she wasn’t his. There was every chance she’d never be his.
Out of the bath, having removed the stopper, he given his word to keep turned. A word that he broke. Sensibility gone with the two of them like this, he glanced over his shoulder. Her back bare, and lower legs exposed, as she fastened her under-trousers. After these past years, she still retained a farmer’s complexion, and he’d found that he liked it. He liked her sun-kissed face, and the dark-brown eyes surrounded by thick lashes.
He was halfway to her when he snapped out of his thoughts. Now, needing an excuse, he grabbed a comb. “Your hair has grown out.” He reached, needing to focus so that his hands wouldn’t tremble. “It looks good.”
It seemed such a silly matter. He’d combed her hair before, and she his. No, this was different. Intimate, in a way.
He broke off a piece of twine from his pants, using it to tie off her hair. He needed to maintain some level of distant dignity. But how could he? She was warm, and sweet, and there. And it pained him to hear the words echo in his mind, that she was only a prisoner, his servant, a mere village girl. She was none of those things. She was Hisa. Clumsy, excitable, compassionate Hisa.
He laid a kiss to the top of her head.
“Ask me for something, Hisa.”
“What right does a servant have to ask something of her lord?”
When he is in love with her. “When it pleases him to see her happy.” He couldn’t think, except how much he wanted to expose his feelings, and to know hers.
“I’ve learned so much here. And I can take those skills home to help make life in the village a little easier. I never had the time or opportunity before you made me your servant.”
That was it then, he thought. She desired for home. Of course. It was a selfish thought to imagine she’d want to stay.
He wanted to reject that as truth, wrapping her in an embrace. A silent plea. Stay...
“You brought me peace,” said Kwan. “Something I can never hope to repay you for. But let me try.” Circumstance prevented what he meant by it.
I love you.
****
Through summer, he’d neglected much of his usual duties for upcoming events. What did it matter? If she wanted to leave, then this short time was better spent in her company while she was still there.
Up to the groves, he wondered if she’d accept another private ride. It may be one of the last chances. He started a smile, watching her fingers stretch high as she balanced on her toes to reach at a particular peach.
He’d been so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn’t catch what was about to happen.