48
“Hey, baby. How’s Mr. John?” Nicole greeted Terrell with a hug and a kiss as he walked through her front door. He was surprised she was still dressed for church because it was after 5:00 in the evening. He had remained at the hospital for the majority of the day, playing the waiting game with Kayla and her family. After making sure that there was no chance of any friction popping off between the sisters, he decided to leave for a while, promising to return later.
“Still in ICU. Everyone’s pretty much still there. The doctor says the next few days are the most critical. I’m probably going back in a little while and take them some food. Did you cook?” He knew she did. Nicole cooked a full meal large enough for ten people every Sunday, although most days it was just the two of them.
“Yeah, I baked some chicken. You want me to fix you a plate?”
“Naw, I’ll get it,” he told her. “I wanna take a quick shower first, though. Is that cool?”
“Of course. You look exhausted. Why don’t you lie down for a while before you go back to the hospital?”
He was tired, but he knew that if he lay down for a nap, he wouldn’t wake up until the morning.
“Nickey, do you have any glossy paper?” A voice came from the room Nicole used for a home office.
Terrell cringed, knowing that it was her brother, Gary.
“Look at the top of the closet. It should be a pack up there,” Nicole yelled to him.
“I looked and I don’t see it.”
“Never mind. I’ll get it,” she huffed and rushed down the hall.
Terrell shook his head in silence as he walked into the kitchen. Nicole had not only cooked baked chicken, but also cabbage, macaroni and cheese, rice and gravy, and cornbread. The growls coming from his stomach reminded him that he was hungry in addition to being tired. He grabbed a large plate and began piling it with food. Just as he sat down at the small kitchen table, Nicole entered with Gary right behind her. There was no denying that they were sister and brother. They were similar in looks, although she was older by two years, darker by two shades, and taller by three inches. Gary was barely five-five and she was easily five-eight.
Nicole had moved into the city to be near Gary after she finished nursing school. They never spoke of their father and their mother had passed away a few years earlier from cancer. Gary was protective, often overbearing of his older sister, and it wasn’t a secret that he and Terrell didn’t care for each other. He had served seven years in the penitentiary for drugs and acted like that fact alone made him hard-core. Terrell wasn’t impressed with him, though, and didn’t perpetrate like he was.
“Terrell,” Gary said as he sat across the table from him. He was dressed in jeans and wife beater, which did nothing to complement his skinny frame.
“Gary.” Terrell didn’t look up from his plate.
Nicole offered Gary a plate, but he declined. “No thanks.”
“I thought the reason you stopped by was to eat.” She sucked her teeth at her brother.
“Changed my mind. I don’t have much of an appetite now.” He glared across the table. Terrell lifted his eyes and looked over at Nicole. He decided to let her respond, rather than giving Gary one of his own.
“Gary, don’t start.”
“Don’t start what? You want me to sit here and act like everything is fine with this?” he snarled.
“Fine with what? You have a problem with me eating dinner at your sister’s crib?” Terrell asked, placing his fork down and wiping his mouth. He had kept quiet long enough.
“Terrell, go ahead and eat,” Nicole told him.
“No. What I have a problem with is you knocking my sister up!” Gary pulled out a piece of paper and threw it on the table. Nicole walked over and snatched it up.
“What? You’re going through my stuff, Gary?” she shrieked.
“What is it?” Terrell asked, reaching for the paper.
“My ultrasound picture,” Nicole answered. She shook her head at her brother in disbelief and began rubbing her temples. Terrell walked behind her and massaged her shoulders. He knew she was upset. The one thing she had been worried about for the past few weeks was how to break the news to Gary.
“I can’t believe you, Nickey!”
“Calm down,” she told him.
“You lied to me.” Gary stood up.
“Gary . . .” Terrell’s voice was calm. He knew this was going to be a difficult situation to diffuse.
“You shut up! I ain’t talking to you!”
“Hold up, cuz.” Terrell could feel his anger mounting although he was determined to maintain his composure.
“No, you hold up, and I ain’t your cuz!” he spat.
Nicole shrugged Terrell’s hands off her shoulders and took a step toward her brother. “Gary, you need to stop this right now.”
“You lied. Straight-up lied to me to my face. I thought we were better than that, Nickey. I asked you if you were sleeping with him, if you two were serious. You said no.”
Terrell felt his body tighten as he looked from Nicole then to Gary, who was still talking.
“‘No, Gary, I’m not serious about him. It’s not even that deep.’ That’s what you said, remember? Well, let’s see how deep it is, huh, Nickey? Is he gonna marry you?”
Nicole stood there, obviously stunned by her brother’s outburst. Her lips were pursed together in anger and her chest rose and fell with each breath she took.
“Maybe I should ask him since you don’t seem to know the answer. Well, cuz, are you gonna marry her?”
“Don’t answer that.” Nicole turned and touched Terrell’s shoulder. Her eyes told him she was pleading, and he remained silent. “Gary, don’t be ignorant.”
“How is that ignorant? What’s wrong, cuz? You can’t answer?” He paused momentarily. “I guess not.”
“He doesn’t have to answer you! Don’t answer him, Terry.”
“I’m outta here,” Terrell told her. “I’ll call you later.”
“Terrell, wait.” She walked behind him as he exited the kitchen and headed out the door. He felt drunk, like everything was moving too fast and he couldn’t keep up. His day had been filled with emotional chaos and lack of sleep.
“Let that nigga go, Nickey. You don’t need him anyway!”
“Terrell, please stop. Don’t listen to him, please,” Nicole said as he continued out into the hallway of her apartment.
“Look, I ain’t gonna disrespect you or your house by disrespecting your short-ass brother, so I’m leaving. I’ll call you later,” he told her.
“Wait a minute, Terrell, I don’t want you to leave like this. Talk to me,” she demanded as she followed him all the way to his car.
“I ain’t in the mood for talking right now, Nicole. Now’s just not a good time for me. It’s been a long night and I just need to go home, take a shower and lay down before I go back the hospital. We’ll talk later.”
“I wanna talk now.”
“You wanna talk now? Whatcha wanna talk about Nicole?”
“I know you’re mad, Terrell. I’m sorry my brother is a jerk.”
“You told him you weren’t serious about me, Nicole? This whole thing has been a joke to you?” he asked. He had told himself that he was going to let it go, but since she wanted to talk all of a sudden, he decided to just put it out there to discuss.
“I said... I mean . . .” She looked down as she talked.
“Don’t lie to me! What did you tell him?”
“I told him I didn’t know what was up with us. And I don’t, Terrell. That’s the God’s honest truth.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I love you, Nicole. I tell you that all the time.” He rested against his car and put his hands in his pockets.
“And? You know how many times I’ve heard that? Look, I love you too.” She sighed and reached for his hand. He stared at her and frowned. He could not believe she was saying this.
“I can’t tell. It’s not even that deep, according to what you told your brother. And I don’t give a damn about anyone else or what they told you. I’m talking about how I feel about you. Damn, quiet as it’s kept, I do wanna marry you.”
Nicole closed her eyes then let out a small huff. “No you don’t, Terrell. I know you love me. I never questioned that. But you’re not ready to marry me. I don’t think you’re ready to marry anyone.”
“How can you tell me what I’m ready for? You know what? Forget it, Nicole. I don’t believe we’re even standing here having this conversation.”
“Terrell, how are you gonna marry me when you’re not even fully committed to me?”
“What? I am committed to you. You’re having my baby, Nicole. I want us to be a family. You don’t want that?” He was totally confused by her response. From the moment she told him she was pregnant, he thought she wanted to get married. Now, it seemed that marriage was the furthest thing from her mind. He didn’t want to question whether the baby was his.
“So, you think that because I’m carrying your child that automatically means I want to be your wife? Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. I’ll agree to be your wife when you show me you’re ready to be my husband.”
“What do you want from me, Nicole? I love you, I’m there for you, there’s nothing in this world I won’t do for you. I’ve told you that from the moment we got together. And now I find out that we aren’t that serious.” Terrell’s head was messed up and he was ready to leave. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He felt Nicole’s gentle touch on his cheek and he looked into her beautiful face.
“I love you, Terrell, and I have no doubt that you love me, too, in your own way. But you still go to the clubs every time the doors open, and let’s not talk about your phone blowing up. You stay out all night and then get mad when I don’t condone that behavior and tell you how immature you are. You even accuse me of trying to control you. Terrell, until you show me you love me, the thought of marrying me shouldn’t even enter your mind. True, I am carrying your child, so maybe instead of focusing on marriage you should start with fatherhood.”
“So what, you don’t wanna have anything to do with me, Nicole?”
“Baby, no, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying that when I get married, it’s gonna be forever, and right now, you are definitely not at the forever stage.” She smiled.
He looked at this woman who was saying the opposite of what he thought she would. She never ceased to amaze him. She was smart, talented, and beautiful. He loved her and was going to marry her. He placed his hand on her stomach, which held their child. He knew that changing his ways was inevitable; he just assumed it was going to be after he was at least engaged. He now realized that he wanted to change.
Spending the rest of his life with Nicole and making her happy was that important to him. She may think I’m not in love with her. I can show her better than I can tell her. He kissed her, again told her he loved her, and got into his car.
Terrell could see her waving in his rearview mirror, slowly disappearing as he drove off. He thought about everything she had told him as he drove home, realizing that she was more intelligent than he had even given her credit for. He began respecting her more and more as he reflected. There was no way he was letting her down. Little does she know, the forever stage is right around the corner.