Chapter 1

Alec had been promising to take me somewhere new for nearly a week, but pack business kept getting in the way. I'd been expecting some posh restaurant in Vegas or maybe LA. The world kind of becomes your oyster when you've got your own jet.

The last thing I'd expected was a picnic up at the top of the mountain that cradled the Graves' estate between large, rocky spurs. It was perfect.

For Alec money was nothing more than a useful tool, but he understood I still wasn't comfortable having that tool used to purchase me things I didn't actually need.

I'd set out determined to hike the whole way up to the top, but I was still a little weak. Apparently everyone had been right about just how much blood I'd lost the night our pack had destroyed the local rival pack. They'd been trying to absorb Alec's pack for the last several years and he hadn't really had any other options, but I knew he still felt uneasy about what had happened.

With his superhuman hearing and sense of smell, Alec knew I was struggling before I even did. He waited though until I finally admitted how tired I was, and then he scooped me up and effortlessly jogged to the top of the peak.

"Are all of you shape shifters such show-offs? At least the change in altitude should bother you a little."

Alec smiled as he came to a stop at the very top and set me down. I waited for a couple of seconds for him to respond and then shrugged and looked out over the arid, Southern Utah landscape.

The view literally took my breath away. I hadn't realized we were quite so close to Zions with all of its incredible greenery. The stark contrast between the desert and the lush vegetation was striking.

"Not a show-off, just really eager to get you up here so I could watch your face when you first saw all of this."

Alec had unzipped his backpack and started emptying it while he spoke. Working with his usual speed, it was only seconds before he had a blanket laid out. He handed me a bottle of water and then helped me down.

"You weren't kidding when you said this place was special."

Alec nodded and then wrapped me in a light blanket. The heat had finally relented slightly. Not enough to actually make it comfortable, but this high up it was actually a little chilly. If I hadn't spent the last several weeks living in the air-conditioned haven of Alec's house, the cooler temperatures at the top of the mountain would have made the trip worthwhile all by themselves.

"I've been wanting to bring you up here for a while. I used to come up here a lot when I was younger. It was kind of an escape after everyone started gaining their wolf form. We were all so closely matched sometimes it seemed like we were always scuffling to establish who was dominant."

He'd sunk down beside me while he was talking, resting with his hands behind his head so he could look up at the few thinly-stretched clouds. I took the opportunity to move closer, cuddling up next to him. I didn't bother looking up at the sky. Truth be told, I had all the beauty I needed right in front of me.

His slight start as my head came to rest on his arm was disappointing but entirely predictable. He adjusted my blanket slightly so it was between us and then pulled me closer. He was perfectly happy to touch me as long as there wasn't any actual skin-on-skin contact. Every time I pushed for more he backed away or found somewhere else he had to be.

"That must have been rough. There are a lot of strong personalities down there."

Alec's chuckle wasn't amused. "You could say that. At first it seemed like things changed up on a daily basis. Then Jasmin manifested her royal wolf form and things settled down a little."

We were venturing into unknown territory for me. Alec was usually so careful to keep me sheltered from his world.

"Was Jasmin dominant then? I mean, if she was a royal wolf and you hadn't manifested your hybrid form yet did she win all of the fights?"

Alec rested his cheek on the top of my head. "Not exactly. If she'd been a little more heartless she probably could have killed me and cowed the rest of the pack. Even then though, it was becoming pretty clear that we couldn't have two separate packs in such close proximity. The need to keep the pack strong meant that even though she pretty much ran the show most of the time there was the occasional thing that I'd just refuse to back down on."

His muscles tightened unconsciously, like maybe he was remembering past pains. "She'd rip me up one side and down the other but on the most important stuff I'd simply out-stubborn her. When the dust settled usually I at least got a compromise we could both live with."

I hugged him tighter for a second. "That sounds a lot like what you guys do right now, just the other way around."

"Yeah. That's about the size of it. She's still hiding something from me, but I'm not willing to bleed her to try and get an answer, not when odds are she'll just refuse to tell me anyways."

That was edging towards a secret that wasn't mine to tell. "Let's talk about something happier."

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. He'd probably heard my pulse spike. Sometimes the fact that he was a shape shifter instead of just a normal boy was pretty inconvenient. Of course if he wasn't a shape shifter, then he wouldn't be Alec.

"Your mom is likely to be back in town pretty soon. Her latest contract has about run its course and it's looking like I'd have to throw a whole bunch of money at her if I wanted to keep her in Europe."

"I'm not so sure that's an improvement in topics."

"You don't want to see your mom?"

"It's not that, it's just that I know we're not going to be able to spend as much time together. It's not like she's going to let me sleep over."

Alec shrugged. "I could try to arrange for her to stay away for another month or two, but with the kind of disposable income she'd get out of the deal it's very possible she'd fly you out there."

"That settles it. Bring her back home. Even the prospect of less time with you is better than being sent out of the country and not seeing you at all."

Alec's smile nearly made me cry. "You know it might be for the best. You need some time to get your bearings again. Going cold turkey is generally the best way to kill an addiction."

We'd been through this more than once since he'd killed Brandon. He'd been so sure he was going to die that he'd relaxed his normally rigid rules. Since then he'd done everything possible to keep me at arm's length. Everything short of sending me away.

Growing up with the example of his mother was a powerful object lesson regarding what happened to humans who got involved with shape shifters; but given enough time, I'd exploit that tiny piece of him that wanted exactly what I wanted.

"Unless you're sending me away there's no point in having this conversation. I'm exactly where I want to be. It's not like I'm throwing myself at you this very second. Have you come up with an explanation for that yet?"

Alec stared back up at the clouds rather than meet my eyes. "Not yet. D...my best guess is maybe that you've realized your best bet at getting what you want long term is to pretend like you're not impacted."

"Please. Do you really believe I have that kind of willpower?"

"After the things I've seen you go through I'd never doubt your willpower, Adri."

It was rare that I suffered from a panic attack in Alec's presence but the reference to what I'd lost, combined with my dreaded nickname, nearly did the trick.

As my pulse sped up again Alec pulled me in close.

"Sorry about that. You do have to admit, it would help explain why you're still here."

"Right, gorgeous, rich boy who also happens to be the next best thing to a superhero. I must be out of my mind not to run for the hills."

"You don't like it when I spend money on you and the more involved you get with me the less likely it is I'll be able to protect you."

"If I let you buy me something will you quit trying to scare me off?"

"No, but it would make me feel better."

He said that last with his heart-stopping blue eyes gazing directly into mine and I nearly stopped breathing. Somehow he hadn't realized yet that when he looked at me like that there wasn't anything I could deny him.

"Okay, you can get me a present, something small and relatively inexpensive."

Alec smiled and reached over to the backpack as he sat up. I let him pull me up and then felt my face freeze as he pulled out a small velvet box.

"Alec, no."

"It wasn't that expensive and you've already told me I could."

"I didn't think you'd have something already ready and waiting to ambush me with. I thought I'd at least have a few days to prepare myself."

He just waited with the box extended and after several seconds I sighed and then gingerly held my hand out. The green velvet lid swung up to reveal the most delicate necklace I'd ever seen. It was a thin glass heart set inside a slightly larger heart.

"I saw it when I was in Virginia last week for business and thought of you."

"It's beautiful. You shouldn't have, but thank you."

Alec slipped it around my neck and did the clasp, his fingers lingering a fraction of an inch from my skin, but he pulled them back without ever actually touching me.

It really was beautiful; I looked back up to thank him again when a wave of weakness slid through me. Alec caught me before I hit the ground.

"Are you okay?"

"I think so. I thought I was past all of this recovery stuff."

He looked concerned but I'd learned to read his expressions better than I think he realized. He was worried, but not just about me. He spent a lot of time worrying. The rest of the pack, the town, his mother, his sister. It was a lot for someone our age to deal with.

"There's an uncommon amount of that going around right now." Alec shook his head at my curious stare. "Dom and Jasmin both seem to be spending more time in bed than you'd expect based on the wounds they took putting down Cassie and the others. Isaac moved like an old man when we sparred yesterday and Donovan is looking old lately."

I thought back and realized he was right, about Donovan at least. The old shape shifter always moved gingerly thanks to old injuries that had left his right leg permanently crippled. I hadn't thought anything of it at the time but Donovan was looking frailer lately.

The thought of Donovan getting to the point that his age was starting to show nearly made me choke up. I didn't have the extensive history with Donovan that Alec's family had, but he'd been unfailingly kind to me despite the fact that I'd endangered everything he cared about.

Alec correctly read my thoughts. "Don't worry; I'm sure it's nothing. I'll force him to take a couple of days off and I'm sure he'll be fine. He's only a bit past middle age for one of us."

I nearly protested, but Alec was right, it would take an actual order to get Donovan to slow down, and two days was probably pushing it. Donovan somehow managed to respectfully circumvent any order he thought prevented him from taking adequate care of Alec's family.

"Tell me about Christmas at the Paige house."

I blinked a couple of times. The progress I'd made lately notwithstanding, I half expected the question to drive me into a panic attack. Apparently Alec's presence was proof against a second near-attack today.

"I don't know. We always used to do the standard kind of stuff. Presents, eggnog and the Christmas story. Usually Dad made us breakfast Christmas morning and then we'd drive out of the city later in the day and go sledding. I hadn't thought about what it would be like this year."

Alec nodded like he'd just checked a box off on some kind of mental list. "So snow's always been a pretty key ingredient, sounds like."

"I guess. It hadn't sunk in yet that we wouldn't be getting any of that this year. A month ago I would have thought that was a good thing, that it would be one less thing to remind me of Dad and Cindi. I think I might actually miss it this year though."

I rested my head against Alec's shoulder. "It doesn't matter. The important thing now is that we're together for Christmas. Beyond that I don't care what happens."

I was still safely wrapped in my blanket so Alec pulled me into a hug. Even taking into consideration his annoying efforts to protect me from the addictive effect of his touch, this was the happiest I'd ever been. I'd had plenty of bad times over the last year or so to offset the near-perfection of my life now, but it still didn't seem like something that could last.

We just sat there in silence with his arms wrapped around me for several minutes before his cell phone rang. Sometimes I wondered if the slim device was some kind of super spy phone. It seemed to get reception in some of the most incredible places.

He shifted around just enough to answer it without letting go of me with his right arm.

"What's up?"

Whoever was on the other end was talking too quietly for me to make out more than the occasional word.

"…Jack…now…no time…"

I could suddenly feel the energy radiating off of Alec as his beast woke and rose to the surface. His limbs hadn't taken on the fine tremble of someone only seconds away from changing shape, but he was obviously unhappy. Given the tight leash he kept his beast on, I would have been willing to bet that just about anyone else in the pack would have already shifted shapes and ripped a tree out of the ground or done something equally destructive by now.

Alec shifted the phone slightly. I couldn't hear whoever was on the other end anymore, but whatever they'd just said hadn't made things any better. The invisible ants marching up my arms went to double time and the metaphysical breeze that started on his skin and went outward turned into a full-blown gale.

"Stall them. We'll be down in eight minutes. If worse comes to worst, you two contain Isaac and tell Dom to sit on Jack. Keep Rachel out of the way."

Already moving with the unearthly speed he normally concealed even from me, Alec hung up the phone and started throwing things into the backpack.

"Jack's working himself up to a dominance fight with Jess. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. If we're not back before it starts odds are someone's going to die."