Chapter 4

Isaac had left Mom's flight information when he came over that night to disconnect the nifty equipment that forwarded our land line to the cellphone Alec had given me. I tried to get Isaac to take the phone with him but he'd politely refused.

I'd made a mental note to keep the stupid thing hidden, finished up my homework, and gone to bed.

School the next day had been depressingly lonely. Rachel was the only member of the pack who hadn't skipped school and I didn't have any classes with her. We'd visited a little during lunch but with all of the people around I couldn't ask her any of the questions I really wanted to know.

She'd told me that everyone was okay, and moved on to the kind of meaningless small talk neither of us really enjoyed.

After lunch, I'd absently gone from class to class with my stomach getting steadily more and more queasy. I'd never really kept this kind of big secret from my mom, and I was a terrible liar. Under normal circumstances that would be bad enough, but if I couldn't keep her ignorant of everything that had happened over the last few weeks then I'd lose even what little bit of access I'd otherwise have to Alec.

I knew for a fact Alec loved me, but given the way he was closing me out, I was more than slightly worried that he'd talk himself into deciding that I'd be better off without him.

By the time school finally ended and I met up with Rachel in front of her yellow VW Bug, I was pretty subdued.

"Adri, it's not the end of the world, it's just your mom."

"Right, except that it's going to mean I'm even more disconnected from the pack. I've only been gone for two days and I'm already completely out of the loop."

"Yeah. Well, you're really not missing out on that much, just more posturing and dominance games."

"Is Alec okay?"

"Yeah, he's had something on his mind for a couple of days now, but I'm sure it will blow over soon. Alec's spent so many years freaking out about Brandon's pack it's like a reflex now. He probably feels odd if he's not worried about something."

"I guess. I just wish he'd talk to me. I feel like it's been forever since we just talked."

Rachel shrugged as she zipped around another curve. "Don't let it bother you too much; he really is crazy about you. Speaking of people being crazy about people, did Jasmin talk to you about Ben yesterday?"

"No. The only time we were alone together was Algebra and we only had a couple of minutes while Mrs. Campbell was gone."

"What a coward. She's still busted up about having to leave the dance before he showed up. If he showed up. He's been avoiding her again, which probably means he's back to using."

"Wait, Ben's an addict?"

"Whoops, I thought you knew. Don't judge him too harshly. He's had a rougher life than just about anyone else you'll ever meet. Abusive dad, suicidal mom, crap relatives, you name it."

I nodded. Maybe a year ago I would have been all snotty and said it shouldn't matter where you came from, you should still be able to stay clean, but lately I was a lot more conscious of just how little it could take to bring someone's world crashing down on them. I still mostly figured that kind of stuff was a choice, but it was hard to throw stones considering how much a wreck I'd been less than a month ago, and how far I still had to go.

"He's a good guy. He hates the crap but always falls back into it eventually." Rachel looked away from the road just long enough to make sure I was paying attention and then shrugged. "Anyways, you need to meet him so you can see for yourself. Not only that, I think Jasmin could use some help convincing him that she's for real."

"Really, she's told him she likes him and he's not falling all over her?"

"Not in so many words, but near enough. Like I said, he's had a rough life. He's not the most trusting guy you'll ever meet."

It was intriguing. I'd had a hard time believing it when Brandon had told me Ben wasn't interested in Jasmin. Once I realized what a jerk Brandon was I'd just kind of assumed he'd lied to me about that too. The concept of any guy not wanting gorgeous, perfect Jasmin strained the limits of reality.

"Okay, I'll keep an eye out for an opportunity to talk to him, but don't hold your breath. These days nobody besides you guys talks to me."

"I guess. I just had a feeling like you needed to be in the loop. Since Jasmin was too bashful to do it yesterday."

Her voice had taken on an odd tone, one that sounded strangely familiar. We pulled onto my dusty lane and I felt my heart race when I saw the Jeep parked on the concrete pad. Rachel pulled up behind Mom's car and shifted into park while I was still trying to decide where I'd heard that tone before.

Mom raced out of the house a split second later, opening the passenger's side door and hugging me before I'd even managed to get my seatbelt off.

"Adriana! I kept telling myself that you still had an hour and a half of tutoring left but I was just about ready to come get you anyways."

"Hi, Mom. This is my friend Rachel."

Mom and Rachel really hit it off. It was probably just because Mom was relieved that I had an actual, honest-to-goodness friend. They exchanged small talk about Mom's trip and the weather and then Rachel excused herself to go home and finish up some schoolwork.

I followed Mom into the house and helped make dinner while she told me all about the trip to Italy for the original job. They'd been shooting in a little town south of Rome that still had narrow, cobblestone streets. The way she described the restaurants, people and hills almost made me jealous.

As we finished eating, Mom's stories finally wound down. She described the last of the 'miracle' jobs that arrived in succession as each prior engagement came to an end, and then shrugged.

"So that about sums it up. What's been going on here while I've been gone?"

"The same old stuff. School, homework and more school."

"Come on, sweetie. You had to have done something besides that. What about that boy you liked? Brandon, was it?"

I'd spent the occasional hour or so since Alec had told me Mom was coming back wondering if she'd even remember that Brandon and I had broken up.

"He…he was a lot like you warned me he would be. When I wouldn't do the things he wanted, he broke up with me."

Mom leaned over and wrapped her arms around me. "Oh, sweetie. Are you…I mean did he hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine. He's old news."

"Are you sure?"

I mustered up a convincing smile. "I'm fine, really. He's ancient history, which is more than I can say for my homework, which is unfortunately due all too soon."

"Okay, Adri. You go up and work on that and I'll clean up down here."

I headed upstairs and even managed to keep my tears under control until I made it safely to my room.

It was stupid to cry and I knew it, but I couldn't stop myself. The kegger had happened weeks ago and Brandon hadn't even done anything to me. I didn't know if that was even it. It was more reasonable to think I was crying over the fact that Alec was keeping me at arm's length. I was tired of being so alone. Ever since Cindi and Dad had died I'd had no one.

I heard Mom coming up the stairs and pulled myself together enough to wish her good night and then it was just me.

I cried into my pillow for a little while before remembering the phone Alec had given me. Trembling fingers input a text.

I missed you today.

It felt like such a lame thing to say, simultaneously too revealing and not enough. I only had to wait a second before my phone vibrated in response.

I missed you too. What are you doing?

Wishing I could talk to you.

That's good news. Check your window.

I ran to the window and felt a smile break out when I saw Alec, in hybrid form, climbing up our light pole. He carefully reached over, sank his claws into the roof and then swung into my room. He shifted back so smoothly that his bare feet landed on my floor rather than the wicked talons that would have otherwise ruined my hardwood floor.

I wrapped my arms around Alec before he could evade me.

"It's so good to see you."

He rested his cheek on the top of my head and sighed. "It's good to see you again too. Would you think I was incredibly pathetic if I told you I'd headed over this way half an hour ago in the hopes that your mom's light would go out before yours did? I've been kind of worried that having her back would be a tough adjustment for you."

"No, I don't think it's pathetic. I think that's the most thoughtful thing anyone's done for me in a while."

Carefully holding me by the shoulders, Alec stepped back far enough that he could see the evidence of my crying jag. He had to have known as soon as he arrived. He'd probably been hoping if he gave me a few seconds to adjust that we could talk about it without me falling completely apart.

"Are you okay? I knew it would be hard to go back to living by your mom's rules but I didn't think there'd be tears involved."

The words and tone were both perfect. A double helping of concern and a touch of humor intended to defuse any awkwardness.

I hid my head against his chest as fresh tears broke free of my eyes. It was all I could do to mute the sobs but I had to. If Mom came in right now she'd freak out.

Alec picked me up and carried me over to my bed. Moving like I weighed nothing at all, he wrapped me in a sheet and then curled up next to me.

"It's okay. You're not alone anymore. You have the whole pack and I'll do everything I can to keep you safe."

It would have been the perfect opportunity to tell him exactly what was bothering me, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. He wasn't lying. He'd do everything he was able to protect me, to love me, but there was no guarantee it would be enough. More and more I was understanding that there were far too many things out of his control. He was bigger than life, bigger than me, and it felt like only a matter of time before he was pulled away from me despite all either of us could do.

In the end, I chose silence and he gently rocked me until I fell asleep.