Chapter 19

The Jeep was in the driveway when I pulled up to our house. I felt my stomach sink as I realized how mad she was going to be. I didn't even have a decent story yet to try and pass off as the truth. The only thing I had going for me was the fact that I'd found a first-aid kit in the car and bandaged myself up in such a way that my sleeve covered everything. It had hurt like crazy when Marco had put his claw into my arm, but it didn't seem as bad now that I'd wrapped it in gauze.

I got ambushed before I was even through the door. Luckily I was able to keep the side of my face that wasn't bruised towards Mom.

"Adriana Paige! Where have you been?"

"Sorry, Mom. I should have left a note but I wasn't thinking."

"A note? Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in? I specifically told you not to go anywhere."

Mom's pacing brought her to the window. Her eyes got really wide when she saw the Mercedes.

"Where did that car come from?"

"It's not what you think, Mom."

"You haven't answered any of my questions yet."

I took a deep breath and hoped whatever was about to come out of my mouth wouldn't have any gaping holes in it.

"When Ben got hurt Jasmin rode in the ambulance with him. Her car's been sitting at the Funcade all night and she was really worried. She asked me to go get it and bring it back here so nothing happened to it."

Mom wasn't stupid, but she normally spent so much time thinking about her art that I could get away with everything short of murder. When that wasn't the case, when she really started focusing on the here and now, it was almost impossible to get anything past her.

"And how did you get to the Funcade to retrieve it for her?"

I could feel the pieces start to unravel. The more truth I used the more believable things tended to be, but I wasn't sure exactly how much truth I could afford to share.

"Ben came and picked me up."

"Ben who was in the hospital getting his leg operated on less than twenty-four hours ago?"

"Um, yeah. I don't think he was supposed to be out yet but he left the hospital anyways."

"Isn't Jasmin interested in Ben?"

"Yeah, that's why we were at the Funcade in the first place."

"Then why didn't Jasmin just ask Ben to get her car?"

"He lives a ways out of town." I was praying that was true. If it wasn't I'd be in even deeper trouble once Mom got to a phone book. "He had a car though so he told her he could come get me and between the two of us we'd take care of things."

"Why exactly couldn't Jasmin get her own car?"

"I'm not sure. It sounded like she was out of town though. She travels some to help Alec with the family business. I'm really sorry, Mom. I should have left a note, or better yet told Jasmin that I couldn't help her until you got back and I could ask permission. I just wasn't thinking."

Mom had been pacing back and forth on the one side of the living room and I'd been very careful to keep the left side of my face out of her line of sight.

She stopped and looked at me for a moment. "Look at me, Adri."

"I am, Mom."

Moving faster than I'd realized she could, Mom reached forward and captured my face between her hands. As her eyes traced the massive bruise Marco had given me, she gasped.

"Adri, what happened?"

I reached out for an explanation but came up blank. "I…I can't tell you."

Mom pulled me towards the couch, more concerned than angry now.

"Sweetie, you need to tell me what happened."

"It's not important. I'm fine."

"It was Alec, wasn't it?"

I felt my mouth drop open that she would even think such a thing. It was pure surprise but she interpreted it as surprise that she'd been right.

I tried to explain. "No!"

"Listen, Adri. I don't care what he's told you, he doesn't love you, especially not since he's doing that to you."

"It's not like that!"

Mom talked right over me. "Boys like Alec can't be trusted. He's got way too much money. It's not healthy for a child to grow up without limits like that. Now he's hitting you. He can't be trusted."

"Mom, Alec didn't hit me."

"I know you're trying to protect him, but he's not worth protecting. You're grounded. I don't want you seeing him anymore."

"He's never hurt me. Why can't you see that?"

"Adri, sweetie, it's not just this. I've started hearing rumors since I got back into town. Why didn't you tell me Brandon and all of his friends had disappeared?"

Somehow I'd never expected my mom to hear the gossip. I'd practiced my story a hundred times in preparation for the police but never expected to need it on my mom.

"They didn't all disappear. Alison, Sam and Jack are all still around. As for why I never told you…I don't know. It just didn't seem that important."

Mom put her head in her hands for a moment. "I really do wish you were caught up stealing cars. That would be better than the truth. I know you're feeling trapped right now, but there's a way out."

"Mom. I'm not trapped. Alec's one of the best guys I've ever met and he hasn't done anything wrong."

"Fine. When you're ready to tell me the truth I'll be here waiting to listen. Until then, you're grounded."

**

Mom had never stuck with a grounding for more than a few hours. This had already blown the previous record completely out of the water. School was a nightmare. Mom dropped me off in the morning and was there promptly after my shift ended to pick me up.

In between I suffered from a complete lack of social interaction. None of the pack was in school. Neither was Ben or Albert. I sent Alec a text between classes.

Is everything okay? Have news.

Almost two whole hours later Alec finally responded.

Can't really talk. Swing by with news after school?

Grounded. Can't even return Jasmin's car.

She'll be by tomorrow morning.

I broached Jasmin's impending visit on the way home. "Mom, I know I'm grounded, but Jasmin is going to stop by tomorrow morning for her car."

"Back from her trip, huh? Awfully quick even for business, isn't it?"

I didn't bother dignifying the comment with a response. Once we got home I managed to endure Mom's knowing looks for an hour and a half before retreating into my room. All of my usual escapes totally failed me. I finally ended up putting ear buds in and thumbing to a selection of the kind of stuff my mom hated.

The snarling guitars and heavy distortion finally took me away from a world where the boy I loved was in mortal danger and my mom was forbidding me from being there to help. Mom interrupted towards the end of the album to check on me.

I finished the last song and then listened to Mom rattle around the bathroom getting ready for bed. I tried to escape into another album but Mom had ruined the feeling. I was well and truly brought back down to the suckiness of real life.

I sat on the floor for another half an hour and then finally got up to get ready for bed. I had just returned to my room when I heard the light chime of something hitting glass. I ran to my window hoping to see Alec and instead found Ben looking up at me. I shushed him and then crept downstairs. He met me on our porch.

"This totally better be important. I'm already grounded. If my mom catches me down here, I'll be twenty-five before I get out of the house again." My half-serious attempt at humor evaporated away when I saw Ben's face. His eyes were black and bloodshot, like he hadn't slept in days, and his features had taken on a gaunt cast.

"I want to see Jasmin."

"I think she probably wants to see you too, but right now isn't the greatest time."

"You don't understand. I need to see her. Tonight."

There was an urgency to his voice that made me uncomfortable.

"I do understand, Ben. You're going through withdrawal, but there isn't anything I can do to help you. Jasmin, Alec, they're all in trouble right now."

"I know. I tried to drive to their place earlier tonight. Two big guys stopped me at the gate. Told me I had to leave."

I seemed to spend all of my time lately trying to figure out how much I could tell someone versus how much I had to lie to them.

"It's okay. If you can just wait a little bit longer those guys will be gone and you and Jasmin can be together."

"Do you really believe that?"

I tried to lie, but nothing would come out. I temporized. "I believe that Jasmin wants to be with you, I just don't know if things are that simple anymore."

"Because I'm addicted to her. She always hated it when I was using. She said when I was high it wasn't really me looking out at her."

I reached over and put a hand on Ben's shoulder. "It doesn't have to be like that. I mean if you can make it a few days, sort of get her out of your system then there won't be anything standing between the two of you."

Ben shook his head violently. "Right, and then what, never touch? You don't understand. I've never had anything hit me like this. She's all I can think about. Those guys. When they touched me, I mean I don't even like guys, but when they touched me it was like I feel when I'm with her."

I moved closer, but Ben shook my hand off. "No. I'm not going to do this. If I'm addicted then I'm addicted, but she can't disappear for days at a time. Stringing me along like that is wrong. The things I'm tempted to do, you don't understand them."

"Jasmin isn't trying to string you along. I can promise you that. She wants to see you again."

Ben looked up at me again and there was a new steel to his gaze. "She has a choice. She can either keep me addicted or she can ignore me. I'm not going through detox twice on this one. She's got twenty-four hours before I leave and never come back."

**

I tried to talk Ben down, tried to convince him to give Jasmin more time, but it was useless. He was positive he would be through the worst of the withdrawals in the next day or so and didn't want to continue to be tempted.

I even tried to chase him down when he left but I didn't make it very far without shoes. I crept back upstairs about midnight and fell into a fitful sleep.

Mom woke me up the next morning yelling for me to get the door. I stumbled out of bed and found Jasmin and Donovan at the door.

"Oh, right. Sorry guys, I just got up. Let me go get your key, Jas."

"Don't worry about it, I brought a spare and we don't have much time."

I blinked enough of the sleep out of my eyes to finally take in Jasmin's appearance. She looked like she'd been through a war. There were bandages visible peeking out from her clothes in a number of random spots and she had a huge bruise across her face.

Donovan wasn't quite as visibly banged up, but he was moving more stiffly than usual. I wondered if they'd purposefully gone after his good leg. The thought of proper, kind Donovan back on that stone table nearly brought tears to my eyes.

"Are you guys okay? Those weren't Agony's, were they?"

Jasmin tried for nonchalance but couldn't quite pull it off. "No, that's just the natural result of him bringing six other dominants to visit and throwing our power dynamic all to hell. We're pretty much all being treated like submissives right now. The only one they're leaving mostly alone is Alec and they're getting pretty bold even with him lately."

Donovan cleared his throat and Jasmin nodded. "Right, not much time. Have you heard from Ben?"

"How did you know?"

"It was logical. He can't get to me and he trusts you. He's probably associated you with the high too."

"He's not good, Jas. I mean really not good. It looks like he's burning up from the inside out."

Jasmin opened her mouth, looked at Donovan out of the corner of her eye and then shrugged. "I can't do anything about that right now. Alec practically had to throw a hissy fit in order to get the two of us out here to pick up my car. I can't ask him to run those kinds of risks to get me out again. Did Ben seem like he was more or less holding it together? I mean, he wasn't going to go do anything stupid, was he?"

I did feel myself tear up as I recalled the pain in Ben's eyes. "I don't know. He was talking all crazy. He thinks you've addicted him and then hung him out to dry. He doesn't want to go through withdrawal multiple times."

Jasmin reached out and grabbed my arms, almost shaking me. "What exactly did he say?"

"You've got until about midnight tonight. You can either give him another dose or he's going to leave town."

Jasmin's grip tightened as she tried to keep herself under control.

"Jas, you're hurting me."

The words brought forth no response until Donovan reached forward and grabbed her wrist, gradually applying pressure until I could see his knuckles turn white. Jasmin turned on him with a hiss.

For a second I thought she was going to attack but he held his hands up non-threateningly and she visibly brought herself back under control.

"Thanks for letting me know, Adri. Donovan, I'll wait for you at the second to the last turnoff so that we come back together."

Donovan waited until Jasmin's car was backing down the lane before turning back to me. "I'm sorry about that. She's under quite a bit of stress right now."

"No, I understand. Thank you. You…took a risk pulling her off me."

Donovan dismissed the thanks with a wave. "Not such a big risk as you might think. I've helped raise her from the time she was very young. I am submissive to her, but still well-loved by and large."

There was a second where neither of us was quite sure what to say, and then Donovan took a deep breath.

"I'm afraid we really don't have much time. What did Alec's other advisor counsel?"

It took me a second to realize he was talking about Mallory. "She said he should give Agony whatever he wants. Alec needs time for his power to reemerge or to practice with it or whatever."

As Donovan's eyebrows twitched I realized I'd just seen him taken completely off guard for the first time in our acquaintance.

"You didn't know?"

"No, I did not. Alec is wise. No matter how well one bluffs, the task is impossible if those around you tell a different story with their actions. He must play this particular game very close to his chest."

"Is she right? Should Alec really sacrifice whatever it takes to survive Agony's visit?"

Donovan paused for thought. Out of all of the grownups in my life I could always count on him to tell me the truth.

"That is a hard thing. Agony is capable of asking for very dear sacrifices indeed, but I think the advice is correct. If Alec can survive the next few months and truly master his ability he will finally have the strength to put the old order back in place."

I came very close to not telling Donovan about the rest of my trip, but regardless of the risks to Oblivion, or even the risks to me, I couldn't withhold information Alec might need to keep the pack whole.

"I was stopped on the way back. A guy named Marco and Oblivion. They asked me where I'd been. Marco was going to beat it out of me, but Oblivion implied he was going to pull it from my mind."

Donovan's eyes flickered briefly to the fat lip and bruise Marco had left me, but gave no indication of the fear he must feel for the woman he loved.

"When he touched me though, I heard voices. They said if he stole memories it would leave holes. Then he showed me what happened the last time Agony was here. It was like I was there experiencing it for myself but trapped in his body."

Even eighteen hours, later recalling what I'd been shown was almost enough to make me sick. I reached back for the door, leaning against it while I tried to hold myself together.

"I saw the fighting, saw Agony hurt Mallory and kill Alec's dad. It was so terrible."

Donovan helped me over to the porch swing. "It was all a very long time ago. It was terrible, but it's done. Nothing you can do now will change what happened then."

I nodded and brought my breathing back under control. "When it was over he said to act scared and then I was back to myself. They let me go and I came home. I've been running through my memories ever since. I can't think of anything that's missing. I think he was just trying to help. Mallory's safe."

Donovan nodded. "There's never been any indication Oblivion could display memories as well as steal them. This bears some thought. If Oblivion were really ready to make a break from the official line of the Coun'hij it could represent a substantial shift in the balance of power."

After several seconds of silence Donovan shook himself. "Thank you for telling me."

I grabbed Donovan's arm before he could leave. "Do you really think Alec should sacrifice whatever is required in order to keep Agony happy? I saw you on that table. Agony did terrible things to you and never even blinked."

Donovan met my eyes steadily. "Master Alec needs to do whatever is required for him to come into his full power. More is at stake than you realize. My being strapped to that table again is a small price if it saves all of the others Agony would torture otherwise."