Over the next couple of days, Lucas became more and more distant. He was scarce all day. He didn’t come in for either lunch or supper. He didn’t even come in after supper for their walk. Cinda’s stomach twisted, wondering what was wrong. She fixed a plate of food and took it out to the barn where Lucas stood, brushing his horse.
“I brought you something to eat.” She held out the plate for him.
“I’m not hungry.” He kept stroking his horse.
“You haven’t eaten since breakfast. You need to eat.”
Lucas yanked the plate from her hand and plopped it on a nearby crate. “I said, I’m not hungry.”
Cinda realized she had been wrong—it did bother him that she brought her aunt without asking him first. “I’m sorry for bringing Aunt Ginny without asking you first. I just couldn’t leave her all alone.”
“You’re sorry. You’re sorry.” He dropped his head, shaking it. “It’s not your aunt. She’s welcome, if you want her here.”
“Then what is it?” Cinda was confused. “What have I done to upset you?”
“You haven’t done anything,” he said softly. “And you have done everything.”
Cinda cocked her head sideways. Her confusion was compounded with each passing moment.
“You have done everything I hoped for in a wife and more. I deceived you and dumped my whole family on you. I only heard you complain once. I don’t deserve you.” He paused, struggling with his emotions. “Why did you come back? There certainly isn’t much for you here.”
“You’re here.”
He stopped her before she could say more. “I know you never wanted to marry me.”
“But I did. It was my choice.”
Lucas pulled a stack of letters out of his back pocket. “I’ve been asking God what I should do about these. He keeps giving me the same answer … ‘Ask her.’ So I’m asking.” He divided the letters into two piles. He held up the group of four letters. “These were written before we were married. Those two were written after we were married. Your handwriting changed.” He weighed the two stacks. “Who are you? You’re not the woman I asked to marry me.”
Cinda reached for the four letters Lucas held. He gave them to her. The writing was Vivian’s.
“Are you really Cinda Harrison? Is our marriage even legal?” he asked, sounding as though he really didn’t want to know.
Cinda felt bad she hadn’t told him about the letters. “Vivian,” was all she could manage to whisper.
“Your name is Vivian?”
Cinda shook her head. She looked up at him. “It’s Vivian’s handwriting.”
“Then you are Cinda Harrison?”
Cinda shook her head again and stood up tall. “I’m Cinda Rawlings.” Lucas stared at her suspiciously, waiting for her to continue. “Vivian and Eve decided to find a husband for their shy friend before she became an old maid.” A tear splashed on her cheek. “It was kind of a joke. I didn’t know anything about it until I got your letter the day you arrived.”
Lucas caressed the tear away. “Why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have bothered you any more. You know that.”
“I was terrified. I didn’t know you then. I didn’t know how you would react to being tricked like that. How do you tell a stranger he came a long way for nothing? When I got to know you a little in those few days, I felt God leading me to you. I thought maybe life with you would be easier than with my aunt.”
“But it wasn’t, was it?” Shame coated his words.
“No, it wasn’t. It was hard in a different way. But something strange happened. I was needed here. I needed to be needed. I was an only child and wasn’t used to all the commotion of a large family. I’m still not used to it, but I do know this is where I want to be—with you.”
Lucas grabbed her and held her tight. “Whatever did I do to deserve a blessing such as you? The more I get to know you, the more convinced I am I don’t deserve you.” He stepped back from her. “When I married you, I wasn’t thinking of you as a person with feelings. To me you were the solution to a problem. And if you were the woman of character I hoped and prayed you were, you would stay out of a sense of duty even after you met my family.”
He leaned against a stall post and looked down at his boots. “I always wanted to have a loving relationship like my parents, but I had to give that up a long time ago.”
“When your parents died?”
He nodded and continued. “I didn’t have time for anything. My brothers and sisters needed me. The farm needed me. Then Lynnette and her girls needed me. I thought if I could find a good mother for Lynnette’s girls, that was all that was important. I didn’t have to have love as long as they did.” He turned his focus back to Cinda. “I’m sorry for not being honest about my family. I have always felt bad for not telling you. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Of course, Lucas.” Cinda stepped up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.
He held her close for a long while. “I thought I was going to die when you left. I never expected to love you.”
“I love you, too.” She could feel Lucas’s arms tighten around her. “You really don’t mind about my aunt? I just couldn’t leave her all alone.”
“If you can live with my family, I can live with yours. You only have one relative, I sprang five on you. Six if you count Dewight.”
Dewight definitely counted. Cinda decided now was a good time to spring another one on him and held up two fingers. “Two relatives.”
“Two? I thought your aunt and uncle were your only ones?” Lucas pulled his brows together. “You have another relative coming? When?”
Cinda shrugged her shoulders and smiled. “In about seven months. But it’s not just my relation, it’s yours as well.” She patted her stomach.
Lucas looked from her stomach up to her face and smiled broadly, his eyes bright with hope. “You’re going to have a baby?”
“We are going to have a baby.”
Lucas picked her up and spun her around. “I’m so happy.”
“Me, too.”
“You know what this means?” he asked, putting her down.
Cinda shook her head.
“No more my family and your family.” He gently put his hand on her stomach. “This baby ties us all together as one big family. Our family.”
Cinda nodded. They headed to the house. She hadn’t slept well since she left, but she would tonight. She didn’t know if it was the hard work or the company—maybe both. She didn’t care. She was home with her family and the man she loved.