MAYBE YOU’RE GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE, OR A REALLY BAD break-up, and you need the sort of support only women can provide. Or you work in an office full of men and are seeking some sisterly company. Or you want a partner of the same gender. Or you just need a jolt of female empowerment. Whatever the symptoms, a women-only gathering is the antidote.
• Sue Ellen Cooper bought a bright red fedora at a thrift shop one day, for no reason other than she thought it “quite dashing.” When she later stumbled upon Jenny Joseph’s poem “Warning,” she was struck by the line: ‟When I am an old woman I shall wear purple/ With a red hat that doesn’t go and doesn’t suit me.” She gave a vintage hat and copy of the poem as a birthday present that year, and it was so well-received, she made it her calling card. Before long, so many friends had crazy red hats that she organized a tea outing to show them off, and it was such a hit, they founded the Red Hat Society. The rest, they say, is herstory. Today, this “dis-organization” boasts more than 1 million registered members in 40,000 chapters in the United States and twenty-five other countries. Its mission: “to gain higher visibility for women in our age group [fifty and above] and to reshape the way we are viewed by today’s culture.” Its maxim: you really must wear purple, and top it off with a big red hat (unless you’re under fifty, in which case it’s lavender and pink hats). Regional gatherings called “Funventions” are held several times a year, and the official Red Hat Society day is April 25.
• Las Comadres Para Las Americas was founded in Austin, Texas in 2000 by two Latinas seeking to build their community of comadres, or close female friends. They invited some women to their home for a potluck comadrazo, and it was so successful they made it a monthly event. Today Austin boasts more than one thousand members, and the movement has spread to nearly fifty cities across the nation. Any woman who is either Latin-identified or who is married to a Latino can join. In addition to the comadrazos, Las Comadres throws national Fiesta Conventions every other year and maintains a list-serv where members post information about jobs, scholarships, and the like. There are no dues, rules, or officers, but Austinite Nora de Hoyos Comstock holds down the fortress.
• In 1976, three concert-loving women decided they’d had enough of watching female musicians get demeaned both on- and off-stage. So they created a safe space of their own where artists like Tracy Chapman made their debut: the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. Every August, some four thousand women gather to build a mini-city of camps, stages, and community centers on 650 acres of remote woodlands. Everyone is required to contribute eight hours of labor, and in exchange receives three vegetarian meals a day plus free access to childcare, health care, open-air showers, and all the festival’s activities, including forty musical performances, hundreds of workshops, dozens of films, and a thriving Crafts Bazaar. The festival’s “womyn-born womyn only” policy has stirred controversy in recent years, however, and some transsexual women and their allies now hold “Camp Trans” outside the gates, where they debate sexual inequalities over the distant sounds of folk music.
• Nearly every autumn since 2002, some five hundred women have gathered at the Omega Institute in New York’s Hudson Valley to “take a bold look at the obstacles that mute the feminine voice” and explore the necessity of womanly power. For three days they attend workshops, sing and dance, and hear keynotes by such luminaries as actors Jane Fonda, Susan Sarandon, and Sally Field; authors Maya Angelou and Alice Walker; and activists Gloria Steinem and Eve Ensler. The Omega Institute provides cabins and primarily vegetarian meals as well as morning yoga classes; designer Eileen Fisher offers full scholarships to young women of color. Be forewarned that this “Women and Power Conference” fills fast. If no space is available, sample the other programs offered by Omega’s Women’s Institute, including “Enlightened Power: How Women Are Changing the Way We Live” with activists like Yolanda King (daughter of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) and Loung Ung of the Campaign for a Landmine-Free World.
• Around Labor Day each September, the Black Rock Desert of Nevada is home to an experimental community of 35,000 people seeking something radically different in life. Dressed in outrageous costumes (if anything at all), they build elaborate theme camps and psychedalic art installations on the ancient lake bed, then roam about, performing guerrilla street theater and swapping gifts for necessities (as no cash exchanges are allowed on premises, save for coffee and ice). And at the height of festivities, they torch a giant wooden man—hence, the gathering’s name: Burning Man.
“This is a place where, whatever you are seeking, you can find,” says Jenni Peskin, a four-time Burner from Bend, Oregon. “There is a respect and an honesty and an openness here that you can find nowhere else on the planet. And it’s so much fun.” While Burning Man is open to anyone, its greatest event is women-only: the Critical Tits bike ride. At 4 P.M. on the festival’s third day, thousands of women hop on bikes, rip off their shirts, and tear through the makeshift village, baring their breasts to the adoring male public, who line up on either side of the route to cheer them on and cool them off with squirt bottles. After touring the camps, the massive bike parade ends at a zone marked-off for women, where a giant party is thrown in celebration of their glorious bodies.