I press the call button on my steering wheel and don’t wait for his greeting when the phone picks up. “I’m driving into your parking garage.”
“It’s about fucking time.” Shaw disconnects, and I pull into a spot.
He’s waiting with the door open with Bizzy tucked under his arm when the elevator opens.
“I need you.” I go straight through the house to the back patio, stopping at his outdoor bar and snatching a bottle of whiskey.
“About fucking time,” he mutters again, following me.
“Nick and Grace are on their way,” Bizzy informs us, bringing me a glass of ice.
“You called them?” I ask unnecessarily.
“We’ve all been on call since last night.”
“What happened last night?”
She bites her lower lip, inching away and hiding behind Shaw. “Grace and I went to see Claire.”
I swallow the liquor straight from the bottle, letting the burn simmer inside my stomach. “You knew where she was?”
“I had a hunch,” she answers sheepishly.
“You didn’t tell me?”
“No.”
I shake my head, not surprised. “You want to tell me where she is?”
“It depends.”
I take another gulp. “She finally answered her phone. We talked.”
“And?” Bizzy steps back toward me.
“I fucked up more than even I could have imagined.”
“Yeah, you did.”
I raise my face to her, seeing the worry in her eyes. “I’m going to fix it.”
“I hope so,” she says gently.
The door opens, and Grace and Nick walk out.
“Did you fly over here?” I ask.
“We kinda were ready for this,” Grace says, coming to my side.
“I’m going to check on Brinley, be back,” Shaw tells us, disappearing inside.
“How much did she tell you on the phone?” Bizzy joins Grace.
“Apparently, I fucked up my attempt to ask her to move in with me.”
There’s a collective gasp, and I look at Grace, who is the least likely to give me shit. “What do you know?”
“She’s a wreck. She’s trying to put on a good front, but you hurt her more than you can imagine.”
“I need more than that.”
The girls glance at each other, and I wait helplessly as they have a non-verbal conversation with only their eyes. Bizzy gives a small nod and pulls over a lounger as Nick does the same, sitting Grace between his legs and wrapping his arms around her protectively.
“This isn’t entirely because of the way you mentioned living together. From what I heard last night, it goes much deeper than even I could have imagined.” Bizzy launches into what happened.
During the story, Shaw comes back, situating himself behind Bizzy and taking the same position as Nick with Grace. I listen, drinking the whiskey and welcoming the feeling as it scalds down my throat. When she’s done, all I can do is stare at them.
I take in the way they mold together naturally, the protection and support each man wraps around his wife. Possession mixed with obsession radiates from their bodies, and I realize how blind and stupid I’ve been.
“She cried?” My chest throbs picturing her. The last time I know of Claire crying was when Bizzy was in a car accident that scared the shit out of all of us. Even then, she pulled herself together, taking charge of comforting everyone.
“I’m not sure crying is the right term. She was hysterical, unlike anything I’ve seen before,” Bizzy says softly.
“She’s going to kill us if she knows we told you that.” Grace cracks a small smile. “But don’t worry, she bounced back to her snarky ways and started talking about blow jobs.”
I eye my brothers who are both fighting their own smiles. I chuckle under my breath.
“Pillar of strength. She’s always strong.”
“There’s a difference between being strong and having strength,” Shaw assesses.
“Not sure I’m following you.”
“It seems to me she’s been burying her emotional vulnerability. Even though you two were together, she never let herself believe it was going to be forever. As the days ticked by, you didn’t do anything to change her view.”
“You been attending the therapy appointments you mandate to your clients?” I throw back at him.
“Maybe,” he answers unfazed.
“Can I ask you something?” Grace’s violet eyes are clouded with sadness.
“I think we all know there are no boundaries. Ask away.”
“Why did you avoid the attraction for so long? Why did you let her go to Charlotte without a fight? It took you a long time to make your move. And, after listening to her last night, even I’m questioning your commitment.”
I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath, knowing this is the moment of truth. These are things that I should be discussing with Claire, but I’m going to need all the help I can get. When I open my eyes, I focus on the view beyond the railing, staring into the darkness.
“Things were intense when Bizzy and Claire went to Charlotte. I wasn’t happy about it, but Bizzy needed her best friend, and I had no right to demand Claire stay. I also knew they would make an excellent team and help train the staff of the new Pediatric Oncology team. It sucked, but I had to let her go. Nurse Evie put me in contact with the nursing director, and every day, I’d contact her about how things were going. I knew about every patient Claire worked with and every doctor she came into contact with. Her reports were always exemplary, and there was talk of offering her a full-time position to stay. I didn’t take the news well and went straight to Evie. She promised me she’d handle it. The night Claire came back to Miami for the children’s Christmas party was the night I felt relief like I’d never felt in my life. I realized that night how scared I was to actually lose her.”
“Oh my God,” Bizzy breathes out.
I stay focused on the night sky and keep going. “I took too long to make my move because I was intent on getting my shit together. The pressures of work closed in on me. My choice to do a combined residency in Pediatric Oncology and Hematology has been tough, and it’s required a lot of sacrifices. Then, with the boards and other certifications, my time was never my own. I couldn’t ask her to live with that. I convinced myself it was enough to have her in my life in some way without asking her to live with the uncertain schedule and demands. Her free-spirit was a direct contrast to my rigid structure. Everyone knows what happened that night at the game. I gave in, said fuck it to my overly inflated sense of righteousness. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. The only things that didn’t change were my schedule and demands. My commitment to her is unwavering, but it’s also spread amongst my obligations.”
“We all have careers, Mathis. You don’t have to sacrifice love,” Shaw tells me.
“I didn’t think I was sacrificing love. I thought I was giving her the freedom to be with me and also be herself. We all know Claire can’t be tamed. Asking her to adjust to my lifestyle seemed selfish.”
“You need to know something else, something important,” Grace pipes in. “She’s lived all these years thinking she was a challenge you didn’t want to take on. It’s branded in her brain from that night so long ago.”
“That’s fucking bullshit.”
“She’s not the only one holding things in.”
“I don’t understand why she didn’t talk to me.”
“You haven’t really talked to her. Have you ever wondered over the last year where your relationship was headed?” Bizzy presses, laying her hand on my arm and dragging my attention from the sky.
“That’s why I wanted us to move in together. It’s time.”
“Slow, slow, slow boat,” Shaw mumbles, this time pissing me off.
“I’m sick of you saying that! My timeline is a hell of a lot different than yours.”
“Maybe that’s true,” Bizzy squeezes my wrist, “but while you were taking your time, her brain was filling up with resistance and insignificance.”
“I’m done being the sensible one.” I drain my glass.
“What are you going to do?”
“Everything,” is my only response.
“I dig this new Mathis,” Grace chirps from the backseat.
Nick shoots me a glance, rolling his eyes.
“Not sure there’s anything new about me.”
“Oh, yes, there is. I can’t wait to hear what happens.”
“Sweet Peach, you need to settle down.”
“Nope, not going to happen. I know the stories of when Shaw showed up in Charlotte, and we both know what happened when you surprised me in Greece. Those reunions were hot, but I have a feeling this is going to be smokin’.”
“Jesus.” Nick groans, paralleling into a spot and turning to me. “You think there is any way you can muzzle Claire, so I don’t have to hear a play by play of your reunion?”
“You want to try to muzzle Claire, be my guest,” I dare him.
“Fuck.” He bangs his head on the headrest.
“Here, you need to go. It’s almost daylight.” Grace shoves my oversized bag through the seats at me.
“Should we wait down here in case she throws you out?” Nick asks as I get out of the car.
“Not a chance. You need to have a little faith in your big brother.”
“My idiot big brother.”
“Go! Stop squabbling and go.” Grace’s southern accent makes an appearance, and I smile at her, helping her into the passenger seat.
Without another word, I head into the high-rise and stop by the security desk to pick up the key Bizzy requested. Quietly, I unlock and open the door to the condo, unsure what to expect. Bizzy and Grace gave me an overview, so I’d know a little about the layout.
All of it was unnecessary because I find Claire sleeping curled in a ball on the sofa, her hands tucked under her head, her long blonde hair spread out, partially covering her face, and a blanket bunched around her hips.
I place my bag on the floor quietly and undress, making my way to her. I readjust the pillows and slide in behind her, tucking her close. This is a move I’ve done many times—coming home late to find her asleep and climbing into bed beside her. But today is different because the risk of losing her is fresh on my mind.
I place my mouth to the side of her throat and feel her pulse beating against my lips. She stirs, pressing back and throwing her calf around mine. Another familiar move, and I know what’s coming next. It takes only two minutes before her heart rate increases, and she tenses in my arms.
“Mathis?” she rasps.
“Who else would it be?”
She tries to squirm away, and I use it to my advantage, twisting her until she’s on her back and I’ve caged her in. Her blue eyes are on alert, the emotions swimming inside.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to get you.”
“Get me for what?”
“For me.”
There’s a slight flicker in her eyes right before she starts to struggle. I tighten my grip and drop my head back to her neck, kissing until I reach her ear. “You’re not getting away this time, Claire. Stop trying.”
“Let me go.”
I lean back to meet her face and squeeze her tighter. “Never, Claire. I’m never letting you go again. These last few days have been the most fucked up in my life, and I’m not going through it again. You had your space. Now, you have me whether you like it or not. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why are you doing this to me? It’s hard enough as it is.” Her voice cracks, and I catch the first glimpse of that emotional vulnerability Shaw mentioned.
It’s soul-crushing and beautiful at the same time, a piece of her she’s kept hidden but is finally giving me.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly, and she jerks back, searching my face. “I’m sorry for being complacent and boring. I’m sorry for letting you think you were inconsequential when you’re anything but. You’re the light of my fucking life, and have been since I walked into that apartment in Tallahassee. There is so much to talk about, so much to explain, and I promise to give you all of it, every piece you want to know. But, mostly, I’m sorry for letting you think, all these years, that I didn’t accept you as a challenge. Because the truth is, you’re the best challenge I ever accepted, and the rewards are more than I could have imagined.”
Her eyes brim with tears, and she swallows hard. “Mathis, it’s done.”
“Yes, it is. No more holding back with me, Claire. You have something to say, say it. You feel something isn’t right, tell me. You’re never running away from me in the middle of the night again only for me to discover you’ve been holding back some really fucked up perceptions.”
The moisture in her eyes dries almost instantly, and a fire blazes. “I’m going to kill those girls. As of right now, I’m on the prowl for new friends. Preferably friends who know how to keep their damn mouths shut.”
“You can’t be too mad at them considering our roles in their lives.”
“I can be mad.”
“You left me no choice. I needed help.”
“You never need help.”
“When faced with losing the love of my life, I asked for help.”
She sucks in a shaky breath, and her lips begin to tremble. “What did you say?”
“You left me no choice. I was at a loss and needed assistance.”
“Not that part, you fool!” She tries to slap my chest, but her hands are stuck between us.
I grin, brushing my lips across hers, enjoying the sign of her playfulness. “When faced with losing the love of my life, I asked for help.”
“Are you fucking with my head?”
“No more fucking with your head.”
“Mathis—”
“You should have talked to me.” I lower my voice. “More importantly, I should have made you.”
“You can’t make me do anything.”
“I can make you listen to me now.” I nip at her bottom lip.
“Stop,” she mumbles.
“Not a chance.” I tease her mouth, nibbling her lip and running my tongue along the seam before sucking it between my teeth. One hand escapes, and she cups my jaw, scraping her fingernails on my cheek.
My cock throbs when she wiggles her hips then stops. “Where are your clothes?”
“On the floor.”
She goes completely still, her body freezing against mine.
“I’m not here for sex, Claire.”
“Then why are you naked?”
“Because I like to sleep naked, and you were asleep.”
“I’m not sleeping now.”
“Obviously.”
“What are you doing then?”
I swing my legs forward, gaining ground, and lift her. I give her just enough space to let her think she’s going to fall, so she has no choice but to grasp me for support. The blanket falls to the ground, and my hands move to her ass.
“Nice.” I grin when I grip the bare skin.
“What are you doing now?” she screeches this time as I walk us to the bedroom Bizzy told me was off the hallway.
I choose not to answer until I lay her back on the bed and have her properly pinned under me. “Starting over.”
“I don’t want to start over. It’s too late to start over. There is too much history to forget.”
“You’re right, there’s history. But, hopefully, by the time I’m done, you’ll only remember the best parts.”
“Mathis, you’re not listening to me. I can’t go back to the place we were.”
“We’re not going backward.”
“Why are you being so stubborn? I don’t want you anymore!” she screams, trying to sound strong, but the emotion in her voice gives her away.
“Is that a challenge?”
She shakes her head violently, snapping her mouth shut.
“Good, baby, because my plans are to make this time much better,” I tell her before crushing my mouth to hers and muffling any more excuses.
I know I have my work cut out for me, but I look forward to every second.