Finally!
It was bold, it was ballsy, and it was the most provocative decision I’ve ever made, but removing my top was the only thing that came to mind to shove him over the edge.
These last few days have exposed a side of Mathis that I never knew was possible. Nothing could have prepared me for the avalanche of emotions I was capable of. It didn’t take long to break down my resistance and crush all the years of heartache and heartbreak.
The pain of leaving him was nothing compared to reliving all the years apart and the perceptions in my mind of our relationship. Saying them out loud to him seemed pointless, but he disagreed, urging and demanding I tell him everything. I gave in and ripped my soul open, talking and crying until my voice was hoarse and throat was raw. There was a part of me that expected him to be horrified, but his reaction was completely opposite.
He didn’t let me go. Even when I begged and pleaded to get some space, he cradled me close, soothing and loving me in a way that healed my pain.
Then he took over. He told me everything on his mind, apologized profusely, and promised there would never be anything this fractured between us again. His heartfelt confessions paired with his unwavering declarations of love and obsession—I never stood a chance.
And that was it. I no longer had doubts or concerns. It’s crazy how fast my mind and my heart went from one extreme to the other and pieced back together. The familiar lovesick feelings are stronger because now I know I had lived with my own misguided sense of righteousness.
Done. Over. Disappeared into thin air.
I didn’t lie to him this morning; he can trust me not to run away. Because, just like the first night all those years ago, I know there is no other man for me.
The morning he snuck into the condo feels like a lifetime ago, and with all my insecurities bared, I’ve craved the intimacy between us.
His holdout has driven me to the brink, and if the anger rolling off his body is any indication, I may have pushed him a teeny bit too far.
It’s the middle of the day, and luckily, the lobby is empty except for the security guard whose eyes widen as Mathis stalks us through. The tinge of embarrassment vanishes when the elevator doors close, and I get a glimpse of his expression.
His blue eyes are wild and fiery, gleaming with anger and promise. His jaw is clenched tight, and his chest heaves against mine in a savage way that sends a message. I’m in trouble.
A thrill of excitement and anticipation courses through my bloodstream. The air around us burns with sexual desire and tension. His mouth crashes down, his tongue clashing with mine in a rough and demanding way. Every thought flies out of my head as he devours my mouth furiously. My hips grind down, feeling every thick inch of him through his shorts.
I’m barely aware of us moving until the crashing of the door breaks into my haze. My back hits a wall, and he yanks our joined hands from my thigh to my hip and uses his thumb to shred the seam of my bikini bottoms, which fall loose. Goosebumps pop over my skin at the rush of cool air, but inside, I’m boiling.
“Mathis!” I moan down his throat when two fingers plunge inside me and begin to twirl.
My muscles clench, trying to slow his movements, but it’s no use. I’m helpless in this position, forced to buck against his hand as he teases me mercilessly.
I’m close, so close. My spine tingles and my brain shoots off electric sparks right as he tears his mouth away and stops his fingers.
“What are you doing?” I cry. “Why are you stopping?”
“Tell me you will never, fucking ever, pull a stunt like that again.” The glittery hunger in his eyes from earlier is now sharp and challenging.
“It was harmless,” I stupidly reply and watch a shade of fury fill his expression as a low growl erupts from his throat.
Wrong thing to say. My brain scrambles for another excuse, and I absently blurt out, “It was the only way to get your attention!”
The storm brewing in his eyes takes on a new level, and he fumbles between us. Before I know what’s is happening, he drives his cock inside, pressing my hips downward until he’s buried. The silkiness of his flesh is pulsing, and my body shivers with the invasion.
“This what you wanted?”
“Yes,” I moan, dropping my head back to enjoy the delicious feeling of him.
“Goddammit,” he bites out, completely confusing me.
My head jerks up, the delicious feeling dying at the pain slashed on his face. Understanding slams into me, and my brain kicks in. Even with everything out in the open, there is only one thing left unspoken.
“I love you, Mathis. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, and nothing is ever going to change that.”
The fury, the pain, the sharp challenge—all of it disappears as the air around us takes on a new mood. He kisses me lightly, skimming his lips along mine and smiling. “I’ve waited a lifetime to hear those words.”
He thrusts in slow, steady motions, pressing his forehead to mine. I hold his stare, memorizing everything in this moment. Realization slams into me with a colossal force so strong it’s overwhelming.
Our days of reuniting as a couple have been about much more than unleashing fears and my repressed insecurities. This goes beyond reconciliation.
Our situation is not a break-up and make-up scenario.
Not the boyfriend and girlfriend taking the next step to move in together and see how it goes.
I’ve been blind to what is truly happening.
For a split second, my mind flashes to my two best friends—Bizzy in Charlotte, Grace in Greece. Mathis didn’t chase me down to explain he loves me. He came to give me my forever. Everything he’s done since showing up has been about me.
“I’ve always loved you,” I repeat, my voice breaking.
He walks us to the bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed, keeping our connection. “You understand now?” There’s tenderness to his question as if he knows I’ve reached the conclusion.
“I do.”
He reaches to the side, gets the keys, and uncuffs our wrists.
“So you know, you’ve always had my attention. To emphasize my point from earlier, never again are you going to show your tits to anyone but me.”
I chew on my bottom lip and cast a glance around the room, pretending to think about his demand. Another mistake on my part, because I find myself flying to my back, his body covering mine.
“Claire,” he growls impatiently, bracing on his elbows.
“Okay, okay!” I giggle. “No more topless sunbathing.”
His hips swivel, the angle so deep my toes curl at the sensations shooting through my body.
“If this is your idea of punishment, I’ll amend my answer.”
“Then you’re going back to handcuffs.”
I roll my eyes and bite the inside of my cheek to keep from blurting out that the handcuffs weren’t that bad. He reads my mind, his eyes glittering with approval.
“No more running.”
“No more,” I agree on a moan when he grinds against me, my back bowing off the bed.
His strokes speed, driving hard and deep until my thighs are trembling. I dig my feet into the mattress, trying to gain leverage, and meet him thrust for thrust.
Our sex life has always been dynamic, but today, there’s something different. He’s rougher, wilder, and more intense than ever before. He rolls slightly to the side, breaking our contact, and a blast of cool air coats my chest right before he cups my breast and sucks my nipple into his mouth.
I cry out at the spasm of pleasure scoring through my veins. He repeats the motion on the other side, this time nipping lightly at the sensitive skin before covering it with his lips. All the while, he continues to slam into me relentlessly.
One hand grips into his shoulder blade, holding tight, and I arch my back, tilting my hips. The move allows him to go so deep I feel him everywhere. My eyes roll back, and I clench my core hard to slow the coiling in my stomach. It barely works, allowing only a few seconds before the searing burn speeds again. My body quakes, and I writhe under him, whimpering in a frenzy.
“Fuck. You have to loosen up or I’m going to explode.” His voice is husky and jagged.
I shake my head, tightening and squeezing with all my strength. His hand leaves my breast, gripping my thigh and hitching it up. A low, grating moan escapes my throat, and I lose the hold, giving him back control.
“Baby, look at me,” he demands roughly.
My eyes fly open and lock with his smoldering blue stare that sends another jolt through my system. In a split second, he’s on his knees, holding me to him as he pounds into me ruthlessly.
“Oh my God! Mathis!” The first wave hits with a ferocity so strong, I scream his name until my throat is on fire.
“Give me more.”
I’m about to argue it’s not possible when his fingers slide around, and his thumb circles my clit.
“Hot, tight, drenched… fucking perfect.” His words hardly penetrate through my daze as the euphoric feeling returns.
My fingers fist through his hair, nails scraping his scalp, and moans purr from my throat. “Yes,” I grate out, surging down and flexing into him.
An animalistic growl echoes through the room, urging me further.
“All fucking mine.” He twists his torso, slowing only to press me to the headboard, then increases momentum again. My movements are limited, and I’m helpless to his assault.
This sets me off, and I erupt again. He doesn’t stop. One orgasm leads to another, and the weight of my head becomes too much and falls forward.
“Say it again.”
“I love you,” I call out, my voice straining.
His hips slam into me twice more before he roars. I sense every inch of him swelling and pulsing as he pours himself into me. My skin scorches, my spine tingles, and the room spins.
His lips skim the column of my throat, and his teeth graze along the tendons gently. My brain faintly makes out the words as he pledges his love against my flesh.
I walk into the break room and pivot, ready to bolt until I’m caught by four firm hands dragging me back.
“I’m not speaking to either of you!” I hiss.
“Yes, you are, it’s been almost a week.” Bizzy shoves me inside. “You’ve had enough time.”
“You’re traitors.”
“You should have known this was coming.” Grace raises an eyebrow. “We’re not traitors; we’re interventionists. You know all about that.”
“You told him where I was!” I argue.
“No, I didn’t. I took him to you. There’s a big difference.”
“Tit for tat. I’m still pissed.”
“I’m not concerned with you being pissed. I’m having a baby. My parents and Grandpa Roy are coming in soon. You can’t stay away for long.”
Well, shit. I love Grandpa Roy.
“She doesn’t have to say much. Look at her; she’s glowing.” Bizzy eyes Grace knowingly.
“Oh, I see it.” The syrupy sweet response makes me want to scream.
“I’m not glowing! I’m exhausted, dead on my feet. Twelve hours on shift, one nurse out, and a reminder why I prefer to work nights,” I shoot back.
“Glowing,” Bizzy repeats. “Love, commitment, devotion, not to mention sexually spent. Been there, done that.”
“Me too,” Grace agrees.
I heave dramatically, pretend to gag, and glare at them.
“What?” Bizzy asks. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed, but it sounds girlie when you say it that way.”
“How would you like us to phrase it?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Regardless, you forgave him. You worked things out, and did you apologize for your part in this?”
“Kinda.” I shrug. “There was a lot of apologizing on both our parts.”
“Thank God, I never want to go through that again. It was stressful.” Grace places her hand over her stomach.
“Stressful doesn’t cover it. I was a wreck,” Bizzy adds.
I glance at my two best friends, and the love inside me explodes even more than I thought possible. They were worried, and I can relate, remembering their journeys to fairytale land. This was expected, but I thought I had at least one more day before facing them. It’s time to drop the act and let them off the hook for meddling.
“I owe you a huge thank you for being my friends and caring enough to make me face what I buried long ago. It wasn’t easy, and my heart has never felt that much pain, but it’s mending now.”
They look at each other in shock at my uncharacteristic confession.
“Man, Mathis really did a number on her,” Grace says softly. “She used the word mending.”
“I wonder if it’s a total transformation? Maybe it’s an overload of sexual endorphins?” Bizzy poorly whispers back.
“Shut up, bitches, I was trying to be nice!” My eyes narrow in warning.
“Nice about what?” Mathis’s deep voice comes from behind me.
I spin to face him, and my heart flips in my chest. Even exhausted, he looks fucking fantastic.
He comes directly to me, takes my forearm and lifts it, inspects the fading bruises on my wrist, and kisses them gently. Then he places my hand on his shoulder and circles his arm around me, making sure to skim my breast as he goes. His blue eyes begin to glimmer, and I bite my lip, pressing into him.
“Missed you.” He drops his head to mine, kissing the tip of my nose.
“You saw me an hour ago.”
“That’s not what I meant.” His hand cups my ass to prove his point.
I forget all about Bizzy and Grace and lift up to meet his lips, stilling when there’s a collective exhale behind us.
“Sexual endorphins.” Bizzy sighs.
“The boob swipe was hot,” Grace adds.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath and then twirl. “It was actually a nipple swipe,” I correct them.
Mathis’s mouth goes to my neck, and he nips gently before sucking it softly, not caring about our audience. Their eyes bulge at his newly profound display of affection.
“Are those marks from the handcuffs?” Grace points to my wrist.
“Yes.”
“They don’t do that to me. They’re supposed to be soft.”
“They probably are, but not when you fight like a wildcat for two days to get out of them,” Mathis informs her.
“Oh, I didn’t know that. I never fight to get out of them.” Her face turns a shade of pink.
“I want handcuffs,” Bizzy declares.
“All my extras went to Mathis. We can order you some,” Grace answers.
“I need pointers.” She bounces excitedly.
“Jesus, shut this down,” Mathis says into my skin.
“Nope, you asked for it. Deal with it.”
“Bizzy, where’s your phone?” He changes the subject.
“In the car.”
“Shaw’s looking for you. Says it’s time to come home. His graciousness of sharing you is over.”
“I haven’t been gone long.”
“He says it’s my fault you were gone three nights this week, and he’s pretty insistent.”
“Oh, all right.” She pouts.
“Biz, the fun’s not over. I need you to take Claire to my place. We’re sharing a car, and I have to stay for a mountain load of charts and paperwork.”
I tense, my neck snapping to the side.
“I’ll be home soon,” he assures me.
I try to push my apprehension away. I have to go back to his place at some point. We discussed it this morning, and I agreed, but only because he was going to be with me. The thought of walking in alone makes my head spin.
Bizzy scans my face, her sixth sense kicking in, and she gives me a look I know well. “Actually, I’m taking her to our condo. You swing by and get her when you’re done.”
Grace picks up immediately, nodding a little too enthusiastically. “We need more time with Claire, and there is no sense for her to be alone.”
“I think it’s a great idea. I can see Brinley,” I add.
“A few days ago, you disowned these two and vowed to find new friends,” he points out.
“Yes, but I’m over it. Besides, I never disowned Brinley. If she’s going to grow up with any sort of snark, she needs me. We should start early,” I semi-tell the truth.
He leans to the side to study me, his eyes clouding, but nods without any further argument. “I need a minute before you leave.”
“We’ll meet you at the elevator.” Bizzy and Grace scoot by us, Bizzy poking my side in support.
When we’re alone, his mood shifts. “There a reason you girls think I’m a complete fucking dumbass?”
“I don’t think you’re a dumbass.” I turn into him.
“Then tell me why you three think I believe for one second you going to Bizzy’s house is better than you going home and relaxing. Instead, you want me to drag my ass ten miles out of the way to pick you up when I know for certain Shaw wants Bizzy in his lap, on the patio, drinking wine and making plans for getting Brayden this Saturday?”
Guilt seeps in, because this sounds exactly what they do each week before he comes to visit. I can’t dwell on it too long because Mathis’s arms tighten, waiting for an answer. “I really need to up my A-game,” is all I respond.
“Not with me you don’t, because that shit no longer works. It wasn’t your words; it was the attitude. The air changed, and your back tensed. Your pulse sped, and I could physically feel your neck brace.”
Holy hell, I had no idea that happened. “You felt all that?”
“Why the fuck do you think I kept you naked and vulnerable for so long? I needed to know how to read you after spending too long missing the signs.”
“That’s not fair!” I struggle to get away from him.
“Yes, it is. No more games, no more hiding. Remember? Or did I lay in that bed alone?” he asks.
Fuck it, might as well tell him now before this results in more drama I don’t have the energy for. “I’m not going back to your place without you. It’s too…” I search for the right word, trying to sound strong and yet gentle, “…difficult.”
His eyes flare, and a pain I’ve never witnessed before sets in. “I didn’t think, baby, with all that’s happened. It didn’t cross my mind.”
“I’m not weak.” I feel the need to defend myself.
“No, you’re one of the strongest people I know. We’ll go back there together.”
“I think that’s best.” I swallow hard, hoping to coat the dryness in my throat and breathe deep, hating these overwhelming emotions that keep popping up.
He studies me a second before kissing me briefly, taking me to the locker room, and getting my bag then leading me to the elevator.
A few of my patients yell goodbye from the rec room, and I smile, waving goodnight. Mathis stands with his arms crossed and mouths ‘I love you’ before the doors shut.
“Did he tell you about Charlotte?” Bizzy asks quietly, linking her arm in mine.
“Yes, he told me everything.”
“Does this mean you’re in the know about how possessive he’s been about you for years?”
“I think I’ve got a clue.”
“Thank God for that.” Grace nudges me. “Now, we can get to the fun stuff.”