OLD FRIENDS LONG GONE
“Stop hugging me, Gary,” Lancel said, as he stood there in stoic fashion.
“No,” I said, holding my best friend. “You’re the Nightwalker, not No Hugs Man.”
“I can be both,” Lancel said. “I will curse you if you don’t.”
“Worth it,” I said, keeping my arms around him.
Lancel pushed me away by my forehead like a toddler by his father. “Move.”
I’d taken a moment to speak with the rest of the people hanging around here in Limbo because I wanted to be absolutely, perfectly, and completely clear about what exactly everyone wanted. Mostly, I was hoping any of the morally perfect heroes present here would have an argument as to why Mandy’s idea was insane and we should abandon it.
I didn’t get it. “Are you sure you guys are all on board with this?”
Moses Anders nodded. “Life is meant to end, Gary, and I believe in a universe after this. Coming back again and again to fight the same fights over and over again invalidates the purpose of them.”
“The world needs Ultragod,” I said, looking at him. “You were a beacon of hope and inspiration to people. We’re living in a time when Luke Skywalker and Optimus Prime are being corrupted by circumstance. When the paladin and Lawful Good are being derided as unrealistic heroes. When Dirty Harry is bigger than—”
“I believe in humanity, Gary,” Moses said, reaching over and putting his hand on my shoulder. “I believe while the power of darkness seems all-consuming, that a single match can hold it back. Good will always create new heroes to fight the darkness and the world is greater than any one man’s legacy.”
I tried to think of a good argument. “The world is a very crappy place, Moses.”
“Then make it better,” Moses said, nodding. “The only way that will happen is if consequences happen for good and evil. I promised when I became a hero that I would look after the little guy. How can I say that’s true when I’m receiving special treatment? That I come back and more die on the ground.”
“Ever see the Third Man?” Stephen Soldiers said.
“In college, yeah,” I said, wanting to hear his take on it.
All of the men in the audience looked at me in horror but, well, they were all veterans of World War 2.
“It’s a movie about the early Cold War,” Stephen said. “One of the most famous scenes is the villain, which too many people took a liking to, said that all of humanity was just a bunch of dots and if someone paid you for every dot you made to disappear then you’d start thinking about how many you’d be willing to sacrifice. The thing is, if we’re all a bunch of dots, then that makes protecting each other all the more important.”
“That’s surprisingly nihilistic for a patriotic hero,” I said.
“I prefer anti-nihilistic,” Stephen said, blinking. “We’re all part of God, the universe, and everything.”
“42,” I said.
Complete blank expression from everyone but Mandy who rolled her eyes.
“Were you raised by a television set, Gary?” Moses asked.
“No, I had comic books and video games too,” I said. “Also, the public library, which is what the pre-electronic internet was called.”
That actually brought a smile to some of the heroes’ faces.
I looked over at the women. “You okay with this Polly?”
Polly Perkins was an intrepid reporter who had been Ultragod’s lover and closest confidant for the majority of the 20th century. It was doubly impressive since she was of Mexican descent and there were plenty of times when their relationship had been illegal under United States law. True love had won out in the end, though, and Gabrielle had been the product of their relationship. I wasn’t about to bring up the fact I’d knocked up her daughter if she wasn’t but I could tell she knew.
Stupid omniscient ghosts.
“I am,” Polly Perkins replied. “I’m glad to be united with my husband but I don’t want to return to life if it means being subjected to the whims of an idiot man-child from a higher dimension. Destruction took the form of a leprechaun to torment my husband a few times and often to strike at our love.”
“A leprec…you know, screw it, I don’t want to know.”
“Probably for the best,” Ultragod said, shaking his head. “You can’t recycle what is good forever but create new stories and legends to inspire each generation of heroes.”
“Speaking as a member of the tail end of Generation X, at least for now since time is all screwed up, it falls upon me to make fun of millennials and their entitledness despite the fact it was my generation that ruined everything,” I said.
“You really have so little faith in your daughters?” Moses asked.
“Daughters,” I said, pausing. “So you know about Gabrielle.”
Moses put his hand on my shoulder. “I know you’ll do right by her.”
“This is a conversation I’d rather not have with my wife’s ghost three feet away,” I said.
“Same here,” Moses said, his eyes flickering with a bit of menace.
“Meep,” I said, feeling suddenly very small.
Mandy laughed at that.
“Can I have a moment alone with Gary?” Lancel said.
“Sure,” Moses said, stepping away.
“Try not to take too long,” Mandy said, pausing. “We’re running out of time, even in this place, before Entropicus crushes his head and the universe ends.”
“Yeah, speaking of that, anyone got any God-Killing Maguffins around here?” I asked, looking around. “Ark of the Covenant? Moses’ staff? I’ll even take the Spear of Destiny and talk with my rabbi about it later. Nobody? Well, that sucks.”
Mandy walked away and I watched her depart with every step.
“I’m like ninety percent sure this is all a near-death experience,” I said, watching her walk away. “One last gasp of dream hallucination before I die.”
“You know ghosts and Death yet you don’t believe in near-death experiences?” Lancel asked.
“No, I believe in them,” I said, pausing. “I just know the difference between a dying dream and an actual visit to the afterlife.”
“Which is?”
“The afterlife sucks,” I said, sighing. “At least as far as I can tell. Which is really the argument here, that this place between isn’t the real one and it just is a waiting room for the other side that never opens its doors.”
Lancel put his hand on my shoulder. “That’s why we have to open it. I’ll never see my wife, child, and you’ll never see your father again if you don’t end this.”
“You ever wonder if there isn’t anything beyond the waiting room?”
“Yes.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m not going to persuade you that we should just suck it up and the good you guys do in the world far outweighs the evil by letting the villains back too.”
“No.”
I thought of Leia. “I can’t endanger my daughter either. I’m going to have another daughter?”
“Yes. Mindy Moesha Anders or Karkofsky if you marry Gabrielle.”
“Okay, I name her after Cindy AND Mandy? How the hell does that fly?”
“Don’t ask me.”
“Was Gabrielle just not allowed at the birth certificate? Too high on Ultranian drugs?”
“That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about, Gary.”
“Oh.”
Lancel lowered his gaze. “I’d like you to carry a message to Amanda and Galahad.”
He was referring to Nightgirl and Mr. Inventor.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“I’d like them to know they have my blessing to carry on the fight,” Lancel said, looking down at the ground. “I became the Nightwalker to try to atone for my mistakes that caused the death of my family and later dishonored their memory. Sunlight, Nightgirl, and Mr. Inventor were unintentional byproducts of that but they made something I considered my cross to be something good as well as pure. I wanted to thank them for that and I’m never going to get the chance.”
“You’re not convincing me to do this wish, even if I can somehow beat a being who kills gods.”
“The trick to understanding how to kill gods, Gary, is to know their power is in their worshipers.”
“That’s it?” I asked, looking at him. “You can’t go with something a little more clear like, ‘use the Spell of Aga-ma-hootoo’ or he’s weak to the color purple? I mean, that’s also nonsensical because obviously gods have to gather worshipers so they can’t start with them.”
Lancel sighed and felt his head. “Entropicus draws his power from Abaddon using his own cloak. Despite serving Destruction, he is still linked to death. That’s the only insights I can give you since I don’t have any magical powers that can defeat him on me and even if I did—you wouldn’t be able to use them.”
“Great,” I said, sighing. I’ll pass it along.”
I felt a little disappointed since Lancel had been in my head for years and was one of the few people I could genuinely say I admired. I was a bit of the middle child, though, overlooked compared to those who he had inspired that had followed his path more directly. Mandy, herself, had been inspired by the Nightwalker and it had led to her short but victorious career. Thousands of lives saved during the zombie apocalypse in Falconcrest City only to end saving one.
Lancel placed his hand on my shoulder. “Gary, I want you to also know something.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m proud of you.”
I blinked. “Really?”
“You were an angry, selfish, impatient, and kind of stupid—”
“Hey!”
“You’re right, the stupid part was never true. But you have become a much wiser and more heroic figure.”
“Shh, you’ll ruin my rep.”
Lancel took a deep breath. “I don’t approve of everything you’ve done. I don’t have to, though, and I have no room to judge. Instead, I just want you to listen to that little voice inside your head that tells what is right from wrong.”
“That voice used to be you.”
“Try to be happy, Gary,” Lancel said, his voice low and brooding. “I never quite managed it.”
“I’ll try and figure out a way to do that with my dead wife, family, and friends plus an endless life of fighting.”
“Not endless,” Lancel said. “Not if you win. Then death is a respite.”
“Speak for yourself, I’m never going to die.”
Lancel didn’t speak for a moment. “Godspeed, Gary.”
“Let’s hope not. He’s a bit slow for my tastes.”
I gave Lancel another hug.
“Really, Gary?”
“Quiet, No Hugs Man. Consider this an attack if it feels better.”
Lancel reluctantly patted me on my back. “There, there. This is going to make no sense to you, Gary, until you talk to either G or Jane but you’re the Jason Todd of my Bat-Family.”
“Eh?”
“There’s not a lot to do here but watch alternate realities.”
“Okay,” I said, confused.
“It means, no matter what, you’re still family.”
I smiled. “Anything else I should know?”
“I do have one question for my friend,” the Nightwalker said. “Do you love Gabrielle?”
I closed my eyes. “When I was eighteen and just moved out, I remember meeting Gabrielle for the first time. She wasn’t Ultragoddess, she was just the pizza girl. She was trying desperately to live something of a normal life so she didn’t go insane. This despite the fact she was worried she could be saving lives twenty-four seven. The very act of being normal, a part of the lives and suffering of regular people, was important to her so she could not lose perspective on the little guy.”
“I remember,” Lancel said, sighing. “It was after college she had to give up her normal life completely and live continually as Ultragoddess.”
“Back then, though, she was just the overworked, underpaid, and incredibly stressed girl who literally once passed out on my couch every Thursday. That was the girl I fell in love with, not Ultragoddess, and I still see her in Gabrielle. I just worry both of us have changed that we’ll never be able to be together.”
Truth be told, I’d never loved Ultragoddess versus Gabrielle because I’d always blamed the former for breaking us up, but I couldn’t do that anymore. Her sense of duty, desire to help others, and responsibility was as much a part of her as the quirky girl addicted to Kelly Clarkson. Who, by the way, I hate but lied about loving the music of for five years.
I didn’t know if we’d be able to reconcile ourselves given the fact the world needed Ultragoddess more than ever and I wasn’t about to stop being Merciless—but it was worth a try. Maybe. I didn’t know if I was capable of loving anyone romantically after being unable to tell my wife was a girl wearing her skin. What did that say about me?
“I believed the job of protecting others was irreconcilable with love,” Lancel said. “Don’t.”
“Says the man who didn’t get his wife killed.”
Lancel stared at me.
“Oh right,” I said, remembering that was his frigging origin story. “Sorry.”
“Mandy died saving the life of another. Don’t dishonor that.”
I looked over at her. “I never would, but I won’t forget she wouldn’t have been there in the first place if not for me.”
“It was my choice, Gary,” Mandy said, apparently able to hear from what I thought was too far away.
“Yeah.” I closed my eyes and nodded to the Nightwalker. “Thanks, Lancelot. May you beat up Satan and have a nifty storm cloud to play your harp on.”
That was when I felt my rib collapse in or something damn near closer o it. Falling to my knees, I tasted blood.
“I think Entropicus is about to finish me off,” I muttered, spitting on the ground.
“Go with God, Gary,” Lancel said.
Mandy rushed to my side and gave me one final kiss.
And then they were gone.
Forever.