Clara

43

I couldn’t believe that they had left me!

Yet there was the bed, all empty, and the ghastly yellow suitcases no longer graced the floor. I sat on the bed in my purple silk robe and just stared out at the room for several minutes, trying to put my mind together.

For all the tension between us, I had never even thought it would come to this.

With a shivering hand, I grasped for the gray phone on the nightstand and dialed a familiar number.

Sebastian answered on the first ring.

“The girls are gone!” I croaked, as soon as I heard his voice.

“Clara, is that you?” His well-modulated voice reached my ears.

“The girls are gone,” I repeated.

“What do you mean ‘gone’?” Worry and urgency had come into his voice. “Did something happen to them?”

“No! They are gone! They left!” I just couldn’t bring myself to say it more clearly—couldn’t face the defeat in words like “fled” or “ran.” “They left in the middle of the night,” I explained. “They took their suitcases and walked out the door, and now I’m all alone.”

“Where, Clara? Where are you?”

I started laughing, quiet and brittle. “At a shitty motel called the Silver Star. I wanted to show them the world!” I gave another—louder—laugh, sharp-edged and tinged with bitterness. “I suppose that’s what happens when you try to do right by your family: They spit the kindness right back in your face.”

“Clara, they are young. They cannot have gotten far. Do they even have any money?”

I grabbed my purse off the floor, suddenly beset by a horrid suspicion, and rummaged around in its belly for a moment. “They have taken my wallet,” I declared.

“Do you have any idea where they could have gone? Maybe they’ll try to get back to the city?”

“Maybe.” But I didn’t think so. Lily wasn’t stupid.

“What did the police say?” I could hear Tulip there in the room with him, her constant chatter and whistles. At least his charge could be caged. It had to be a relief.

“I haven’t spoken to them yet,” I answered. “I just called you right away.”

His voice audibly softened. “That’s kind of you, Clara, but I think the police may be more helpful—or did you want me to come and help with the search?”

“Maybe—no!” He could absolutely not know what I had been up to. “As you say, they cannot have gotten far. Maybe I’ll find them on my own.” I idly picked at the gauze on my hand, pulling at the edges. The bandage was new; the old one was ruined. I had slammed my hand down on the candle at the séance yesterday without thinking, leaving it smoky and smoldering. All I had been thinking of was keeping Timmy at bay.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Sebastian crooned. “You must be so worried!”

“Beside myself,” I muttered, just as the empty feeling inside slowly started filling up with fury. “I only ever wanted to do right by those girls—”

He tried to comfort me. “They are young, bereft. We always knew that this would take time. It’s hard being uprooted like they have—”

“But how are they even going to make it on their own?” I asked, although my greatest worry was for me. How was I going to feed myself? “Selfish,” I muttered. “They have no care for me at all.”

“Clara!” He sounded shocked. “They are just children!”

“I know…I know…” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “I have to find them.”

“Yes, you do.” His voice sounded mild again. “Alert the police, and then let me know what I can do. I’d be happy to make phone calls to family and friends.”

“I cannot believe that they did this,” I said.

“They are hurting, Clara—but you will find them,” he reassured me. “They will be back with you again before nightfall, I’m sure.”

I, however, was not so sure, but the fury was almost sufficient by then to spur me to action. “I have to find them,” I said again, this time far more urgently. “I’ll let you know if I need your help.” The fury was a bubbling pit, and its thick fumes charged me like electricity.

How could they do this to me?