“Why didn’t you tell me Dad was going to die?”
“Oh, baby, I didn’t know he would die. I mean, everyone dies sooner or later, but we couldn’t know he would die this soon.”
“Dad wasn’t old.”
“No, Roy, he was forty-eight. Too young.”
“I didn’t know he was in the hospital again.”
“We talked to him just after he went back in, don’t you remember?”
“I forgot.”
“Your dad really loved you, Roy, more than anything.”
“He didn’t sound sick, that’s why I didn’t remember he was in the hospital.”
“It’s a shame he died, baby, really a shame.”
“After he came home from the hospital the first time, after his operation, Phil Sharky told me Dad was too tough to die.”
“Phil Sharky’s not a person worth listening to about anything. I’m sure he meant well telling you that, but he’s the kind of man who if you ask him to turn off a light only knows how to break the lamp.”
“What does that mean, Mom?”
“I mean Phil Sharky can’t be trusted. You can’t believe a word he says. If he says it’s Tuesday, you can get fat betting it’s Friday. Phil Sharky’s a crooked cop who doesn’t play straight with anyone.”
“I thought he was Dad’s friend.”
“Look how dark the sky’s getting, Roy, and it’s only two o’clock. If we’re lucky, we’ll make it to Asheville before the rain hits. I thought we’d stay at the Dixieland Hotel. It has the prettiest views of the Smokies.”
“Phil Sharky gave me his gun to hold once. It was really heavy. He said to be careful because it was loaded.”
“Was your dad there?”
“No, he went out with Dummy Fish and left me at the store. He told me he’d be right back. I asked Phil if the gun wouldn’t weigh so much if there weren’t any bullets in it and he said if they went where they were supposed to it wouldn’t.”
“Baby, you won’t ever see Phil Sharky again if I have anything to do with it. Did you tell your dad about this? That Phil let you handle his gun?”
“Dad didn’t get back for a long time and I fell asleep on the newspaper bundles. When I woke up, Phil was gone and Dad and Dummy and I went to Charmette’s for pancakes. I remember because Solly Banks was there and he came over to our table and said I was a lucky kid to have the kind of father who’d take me out for pancakes at four in the morning.”
“Suitcase Solly, another character who couldn’t tell the up and up if it bit him. So your dad didn’t know Sharky showed you the gun?”
“Phil told me not to say anything to Dad, in case he wouldn’t like the idea, so I didn’t.”
“We’re not gonna beat the rain, baby, but we’ll get there while there’s still light. Tomorrow we’ll fly to Chicago. The funeral’s on Sunday.”
“Will everyone be there?”
“I don’t know about everyone, but your dad knew a lot of people. Most of the ones who come will want to talk to you.”
“Even people I don’t know?”
“Probably. All you have to do is thank them for paying their respects to your father.”
“What if I cry?”
“It’s normal to cry at a funeral, Roy. Don’t worry about it.”
“Mom, what was the last thing Dad said before he died?”
“Gee, baby, I really don’t know. I think when the nurse came to give him a shot for the pain, he’d already died in his sleep. There was nobody in the room.”
“Do you remember the last thing he said to you?”
“Oh, I think it was just to not worry, that he’d be okay.”
“I bet Dad knew he was dying and he didn’t want to tell us.”
“Maybe so.”
“What if he got scared just before he died? Nobody was there for him to talk to.”
“Don’t think about it, Roy. Your dad didn’t live very long, but he enjoyed himself.”
“Dad was on the up and up, wasn’t he, Mom?”
“Your dad did things his own way, but the important thing to remember, baby, is that he knew the difference.”