The next few weeks saw Spencer and Maggie spending more and more time together and to Spencer’s delight, she began staying over more often than not and little by little, the drawers and closet space he’s set aside for her were being filled. As the days passed, he felt more certain that this thing between them could turn into something permanent, but they’d only known each other two months. He wasn’t afraid of marriage, but he didn’t want to rush into it. Better to make sure they were right for each other than find out too late that it wasn’t going to work.
Now, he was in St. Paul for a game against the Wild and because he’d somehow lost his travel toothbrush, he had to go to a nearby pharmacy before the team bus left for the morning skate. He’d checked the hotel gift shop, but they wanted eight dollars and damned if he was going to reward the hotel for price gouging its guests.
Head down and watching some silly video Maggie had sent him of Kirby snapping at a fly, he didn’t see the woman who bumped into him.
“Oh,” she exclaimed, stumbling back.
He looked up and immediately recognized her. “Taylor?”
She gasped. “Spence?”
Taylor Lipp. His first serious girlfriend.
“Wow. Small world,” he said, offering a tentative smile. To say they’d not parted on good terms was an understatement. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
He remembered a fresh-faced girl of twenty with long blond hair whose daily uniform seemed to be tight jeans, a T-shirt that showed her navel, and a hoodie. Standing in front of him was a mature woman who still had beautiful long hair, but her shirt was less revealing and she’d ditched the hoodie for a down jacket with fur trim.
“Thanks,” she said.
“How have you been? Good, I hope.”
She shook her head. “You know, I’d love to catch up, but I’ve really got to go.”
“Yeah, sure. I understand.”
She turned away but at that moment, a kid ran up to her. “Mommy, I want this.” He was holding up a toy car.
“Not today, honey.”
“Hey, who’s this little guy?” Spencer asked and got a scowl for his trouble.
What was her problem? He was just trying to make friends with her kid.
“I’m Zachary Dean Lipp,” the boy said.
Zachary had close-cropped white-blond hair and spoke with a little bit of a lisp.
“Good to meet you, Zachary Dean Lipp. I’m Spencer. How old are you?”
“I’m four. I’m a big boy. I go on the potty.”
“Excellent. You play hockey?”
Spencer’s phone signaled a text from Dorsett, the assistant coach. The bus is leaving in five minutes. Get your ass on it.
“No, but I want to,” Zach replied.
“Best game in the world, buddy.” Spencer glanced at Taylor who was still scowling like he’d offered the kid a Penthouse magazine.
When Spencer boarded the bus five minutes later, Dorsett scowled at him and said, “You’re one lucky asshole,” and gave the bus driver a thumbs-up.
Spencer made his way down the aisle to sit next to Gideon.
“Something wrong?” Gideon asked. “You look like you ate a chocolate croissant that had shit in it instead of chocolate.”
Normally, he would have thanked Aggie for the oh-so pleasant comparison, but he was still disturbed by the encounter with Taylor.
“I just ran into an old girlfriend and it was…weird.”
“How old?”
“She’d be twenty-five by now.”
“No, I meant how long ago did you date her?”
“Five years ago.”
“And it’s still uncomfortable?” Gideon grinned. “She broke up with you, I take it.”
Spencer turned toward Gideon. “Yes. And it was an epic battle, but that’s not what made it weird. She was in a hurry. So was I. I told her she looked good. I met her little boy, paid for my toothbrush and left.”
“How bad was the breakup battle? Was it like Karate Kid where Daniel Larusso is against the guy from Cobra Kai? Or was it like Thanos versus Dr. Strange? The most epic super-hero battle to date.”
“Somewhere in between. We had a huge fight. I was an asshole, but so was she. I ended up blocking her and all her friends because they were harassing me at all hours of the day and night. I couldn’t concentrate on my game and at that time I was expecting an invite to training camp. But that shit was five years ago. I hope we’d both have come a long way since then. Matured, you know?” Spencer shrugged.
“Some people don’t mature no matter how much time passes,” Gideon said. “Just watch some of that reality TV. Those shows are filled with people who don’t know how to behave like adults for whatever reasons. Maybe that’s all she saw growing up. Maybe her parents were immature jerks, so she thinks that’s normal.”
“Maybe.”
Gideon cleared his throat. “How old did you say that kid was again?”
A moment passed and Spencer grimaced. “Yeah. That’s kind of what I was thinking too.” He covered his face with his hands. “Fuck me and fuck my life. Fuck my ever fucking life.”
“Hey,” Gideon said in a low voice, “you don’t know you’re the father. She could have hooked up with someone on the rebound, you know? Your sperm is innocent until proven guilty, so don’t sweat it yet. Not until you get some solid proof.”
The second game of their three game road trip was in Dallas. He had a buddy—Nate Nitara—from way back, who played for Dallas now. They had plans to grab a late dinner together after the game. This was one of the perks of being an NHL player. A guy got a lot of chances to meet up with old friends you played with along the way.
The Dragons won the game, which was fantastic because it gave Spencer the opportunity to rub it in Nate’s face. Plus, loser bought dinner.
“I think I’ll have the porterhouse, medium rare, the scalloped potatoes, a double portion of the veggies, and the chocolate soufflé for dessert,” Spencer said. “Oh, and we’ll have a bottle of this cabernet here.”
“I’ll have the same,” Nate said. After the waiter left, he added, “And fuck you, Corby. That wine is eighty bucks a bottle.”
“Hey,” Spencer said, placing his napkin on his lap, “I can’t help it if I get position on you nine times out of ten.”
After the wine was poured, Spencer broached the subject that had been plaguing him since he left St. Paul. “So you’ll never guess who I ran into when I was in Minnesota a couple of days ago,” he said, rubbing the stem of his wine glass. “Taylor Lipp. Remember her?”
Nate’s brows rose in surprise. “Sure, I remember her,” he said in an oddly stilted voice, or maybe it was Spencer’s imagination. “How’s she doing?”
“She looked almost exactly the same,” Spencer said with a laugh. “And she had a kid. A boy.”
“So she’s married,” Nate said.
“I guess so,” Spencer said. “I didn’t think to ask and I didn’t notice if she was wearing a ring or not.”
“How old was the kid?”
“He said he was four. His name is Zach. Cute little guy. He wants to play hockey, but I guess Taylor won’t let him, which isn’t surprising, considering…”
“Yeah.” Nate turned his attention to his salad. “Makes sense.”
A silence fell as they ate their salads and Spencer was starting to get a weird vibe from Nate, who looked like he had to take a massive shit.
“So what’d this kid look like?” Nate asked.
Spencer leaned forward. “Why do you want to know?”
Nate went a little pale. “I just asked what he looked like.”
Narrowing his eyes, Spencer said in a low but forceful voice, “Look. Did you sleep with Taylor? Is Zach your kid?”
That would be just like Nate back in the day, and maybe even a little now. Impetuous and emotional, apt to act without thinking and then not back down even when it was clear he’d erred.
“No!” Nate recoiled. “Hell no. I swear on a stack of Bibles I never slept with her.”
Spencer studied his friend’s face closely then said, “I believe you.”
“Damn straight. I’d never fuck the woman of a friend. And even though that period after a breakup is technically okay, I didn’t do her then either. Girl was insane. What she and her friends did to you was crazy. No way I’m going to get myself involved with someone like that.”
“Then what are you not telling me?”
Nate glanced away. “Fuck. Fuck!” Looking up at the ceiling, he blew out a breath. “Okay, look, I did it in the name of friendship, I swear.”
Fuck. This did not sound good at all.
“Did what?”
“You have to remember what was going on at the time. Player development was there checking us all out and there were a bunch of hot shots in the group but it was your year, man. You’d worked your ass off for the chance to go up, but the shit with Taylor was screwing up your head.”
Spencer remembered that time clearly. He hadn’t been able to sleep or keep his mind focused. Their fight had expanded to her friends against his friends on social media and through texts. It was like a cell phone gang war. Eventually, Nate got the brilliant idea that they all go radio-silent and that Spencer block Taylor’s number.
That seemed childish to Spencer, but Nate reasoned that it wasn’t permanent. If he wanted to unblock her after the camp invitations were issued, so be it. But his career was at stake here. Did he want to spend another season cooling his heels on the farm team?
Hell no.
So he’d blocked her and all her friends and just like that, his life calmed down to a point where he could play the kind of hockey that he was capable of. Then, once he’d gotten the invite to go to camp, his world centered on that. He had turned a corner and was moving on with his career.
But apparently there was more to the story that he didn’t know about and he wasn’t leaving this restaurant until he knew everything.
“Nate, I’ll be forever grateful that you suggested I block her. I truly believe that if I hadn’t done that, I would have screwed up so bad, I’d have had to wait another year to go to camp.”
“Okay, okay, that’s good. That’s good. I was just trying to be a good friend.”
“We’ve established that. Now tell me what you did.”
Nate took a deep breath. “So the night after you got the call, Taylor comes up to me in the rink parking lot. She says she needs to talk to you about something important. I’m like, ‘yeah, what is it?’ Real cold. And she says it’s none of my business and there’s no way she’s telling me, but I convince her to.”
Spencer could just imagine what Nate had said, but he wasn’t about to interrupt him right now to find out.
“So she tells me…” Nate gulped. “She tells me she’s pregnant.”
Spencer stopped breathing.
“So I immediately say that’s such bullshit. All she wanted was to ruin your big day. I’d seen this kind of thing on the internet. A girl tells a guy she’s pregnant to mind fuck him then magically ‘loses’ the baby.” Nate made air quotes. “This was just the type of shit she and her band of bitches would pull to screw you over.”
Spencer remembered. They had been posting all kinds of lies about him on social media, calling him names, finding photos of assholes who had been in the news and adding the hashtag #SpencerIsWorse to them.
Nate went on, “She just wanted to fuck you up in the head, so I went along with it. I said I’d pass on the message.”
“But you never did.”
“No. I never intended to. You’d told me you were done with her, so there was no point. It was all a lie anyway. If Taylor didn’t come up with it, that bitch Casey probably did. But I told Taylor that you didn’t give a shit and that you were moving on with your life and the baby was her problem. I only said that because I was sure she was lying.”
Spencer stared at his friend. “But maybe she wasn’t.”
His face twisted in anguish, Nate shook his head. “Kind of looks that way. Jesus. What a clusterfuck. I’m sorry, man. Like I said, I did it for you. Out of friendship. We always had each other’s backs, you know?” Nate pushed his plate away. “Jesus,” he said again.
Spencer picked up his glass of wine and downed it.
Nate looked at him and said, “Good idea,” and did the same.
“You should have told me,” Spencer said.
“You’re right. I should have and I’m sorry. I thought I was doing you a favor. Do you really think that it’s yours?”
“The timeline seems right, but I don’t know what month the kid was born.”
“There’s a chance it’s not yours. She could have slept with someone right after you broke up with her.”
Which was exactly what Gideon had said.
But Spencer didn’t think so.
Spencer returned from his road trip on a Wednesday. On Saturday, Maggie sat him down when he got back from practice and asked him what was wrong.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he said.
“That’s a bunch of baloney. You’ve been distracted and you know how I can tell?”
He gave her a questioning look.
“You only made me come twice in the last three days.”
That elicited a wan smile. “Duly noted.”
“That was a joke, obviously. For the record, I’m more than satisfied with the sex. It’s the rest of the time that I’m concerned about. You’re not eating. You’re tossing and turning at night and you have resting grumpy face.”
“Maggie, I’m good, honestly.”
When she didn’t say anything, he met her gaze, but only briefly.
“Okay, fine,” she said, exasperated. “Is that how it’s going to be between us? Because this isn’t what I signed up for. When I’m in a serious relationship with someone, I want to be there for him like I expect him to be there for me. I want us to share our problems and our successes. I want us to be able to talk things out, out in the open. Not hold them close like we’re in some kind of poker game and you don’t show your cards until you’ve won or lost.”
She watched the play of emotions on his face—surprise, regret, resignation.
Spencer sighed. “I hear you. I do. I just…” He shook his head, worry lines marring his forehead. “This is a real doozy of a situation and frankly, I’m a little afraid to tell you.”
“Just come right out and say it. It can’t be that bad, and if it is, we’ll figure things out together.”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he said, tugging her into his arms and resting his cheek against her head, “but I’m the luckiest bastard on earth.” With a defeated sigh, he drew back and met her gaze. “I may have a son, a son I didn’t know about until a few days ago.”
Maggie gasped. “Oh my God, Spencer. I…that’s incredible. How old is he? How did you find out?”
He stood up and started pacing. “He’s four and he looks exactly like my brother at that age.”
Spencer proceeded to tell her the tale of bumping into his ex-girlfriend and her little boy in a Walgreens. Then about a dinner conversation with his ex-teammate.
“Spencer, this is unbelievable. What are you going to do?”
He laughed mirthlessly. “Beats the hell out of me. I’m only just now starting to come to terms with the fact that I even have a kid, let alone figure out if I want to foist myself on him.”
Maggie frowned. “You have a right to see your own child and he has a right to know his father, especially since his father is a fantastic guy. Do you want to get involved with him?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. I know that sounds shitty, but… God, everything would get a hundred times more complicated. I’d have to reestablish a relationship with Taylor. I’d have to coordinate schedules with her…”
“No, Spencer. I’m not talking about logistics. I’m talking about having a real father-son relationship, making an emotional connection. Learning to love each other.”
He took a long, slow deep breath. And another. Then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
She got up, went to him and put her arms around him. Of course you do, she thought. I didn’t expect any less from you.
“I’m glad. I don’t have to tell you I’d give my right arm to be able to spend time with Maya. I would hate to see you decide to stay out of your son’s life and then regret it later.” She kissed him gently and smiled. “Do you think Taylor wants you involved?”
They sat back down and she nestled up against his side, his arm around her shoulder.
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. She was cold when we were in Walgreens.”
“Well, as far as she’s concerned, you rejected her and her child. No wonder.”
“Shit, you’re right. Shit. Shit. I just acted like he was just some random kid I’d never met. I must have come off like such a dick. Jesus.”
“There’s also the question of whether she’s involved with someone or has a husband or boyfriend. Maybe Zach has a dad already.”
“Shit. What the fuck am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.”
She turned to him and cupped his face. “Don’t panic. We’ll take this one step at a time. First, you’ll have to explain to her what happened and that you had no idea Zach even existed. I’m sure once you explain, with Nate to back you up, she’ll forgive you. There was no way for you to help or support her if you never knew she was pregnant in the first place. Once that happens, you two can figure out the logistics of telling Zach what’s going on and how and when you can spend some time with him. She lives in Minnesota?”
“St. Paul. Yes.”
“Do you have any more games against the Wild this season?”
“Yeah. One more. In a couple of weeks, actually. That’s good. That’ll give me time to talk to her on the phone first.”
“Do you think she’ll agree to letting you see him?”
“Eventually. Like you said, she’s probably hated me for years and there’s actually a chance she won’t believe me. Nate could be lying for all she knows. But I remember her as being a fairly rational person—before that insane breakup went down.”
“Do you have her number still?”
“I think so.” He checked his phone and there it was. There was even a picture of a fresh-faced girl with long blond hair in disarray. She was pretty and so young looking and Maggie felt like she was a bit of a kindred spirit. Another young woman who wasn’t much more than a child herself when she got pregnant.
Except this girl got to keep her baby.
Maggie felt a stab of envy and immediately tried to self-soothe by reminding herself that there was a big difference between sixteen years old and virtually alone, and twenty with a good family. Maybe little Zach had tons of male role models and loving grandparents and all the things Maggie hoped Maya grew up with. If he did, he was a very lucky little boy. His mama too.