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Grand Canyon rapids were known for being big, wet, and intimidating. Loren couldn’t argue with that. After the first one, he’d been shaken so badly he’d actually pissed himself. Thankfully, no one could tell since the river had saturated everyone in the paddle boat.
While the other guys high-fived and talked excitedly about their first big rapid, Loren curled in on himself, trying to get warm while not thinking about the fact he had another twenty days of this. Another twenty days of progressively harder rapids. Another twenty days of feeling utterly alone and totally worthless.
“Hey, man,” Morgan shouted. “Watch it.”
One of the other inflatable boats bumped into the paddle boat, jostling everyone inside.
Loren looked up and found himself staring at the biggest guy on the trip. Everyone called him Stone, and he certainly fit the name. Like the Grand Canyon rapids, he was big and intimidating, only, he wasn’t wet. At least he wasn’t now. But Loren had no problem imaging him emerging from the water like Neptune.
“Come on over onto my boat.” Stone held out his hand.
Loren felt the gazes of the other guys landing on him, their joyous celebrating stopping so suddenly the crash of silence made Loren feel totally exposed.
“I can make room on my boat,” Jon offered. He was rowing the equipment boat while Stone rowed the kitchen boat.
“There’s room now.” Channing stood up from his wide seat on Jon’s boat, gesturing to it.
Loren thought about where he wanted to go. Jon and Channing had been nice to him when they’d all met in the parking lot to load up the vans, but Loren had found his gaze going to Stone again and again. He’d never seen anyone so big. He’d been simultaneously terrified and intrigued, but ultimately he’d stayed away. Men like that hurt men like him.
Only, now, when given a choice about where he wanted to go, he found the expression on the massive man’s face more compelling than anything he’d ever seen in his life.
Deciding to follow his instinct, Loren reached out for Stone.
His hand had to be more than twice the size of Loren’s, strong and very rough, but his skin was warm, his touch gentle. Stone didn’t yank him into the boat. He held up his hand, offering Loren a balancing point, enabling him to climb over the thwarts without stumbling.
The other two boats moved away, leaving him alone with Stone.
“Let’s make you a place to sit.”
“Okay.” The one word came out shaky, forcing Loren to drop his gaze down to his feet.
“It’s okay.” Stone left his seat behind. He moved close to Loren and settled on the side of the boat. “It’s really okay.”
Before Loren realized, Stone eased him onto his lap then wrapped his arms gently around him.
“Everything is going to be okay.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
Loren wrapped his arms around him, shaking so badly he swore he’d shatter into a million pieces if Stone let go, but he didn’t. Stone held him and spoke quietly until the shivers abated, and he could talk without gasping.
“I’m sorry.” Loren wished he could go back in time and make a different decision, but he couldn’t. He was stuck on this trip, and it was all his own fault.
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.” Stone released his hold then met Loren’s gaze. “Are you okay to move on?”
“Yes.” Loren nodded forcefully as if that could stiffen his resolve. “I’m okay. I’m fine.” Without warning, he blurted, “I wet my pants.” Cringing, he lowered his head and started crying. Just like his ex said, he was nothing but a sniveling baby.
“Don’t worry about that.” Stone rose. “Just slip them off and rinse them in the river.”
“But everyone will see.”
“They won’t. They’re way down there.” Stone pointed downriver where the other two boats drifted lazily.
“Will you be able to catch back up?”
“We’ll be fine.”
We. Not I’ll be fine, but we’ll be fine. A small distinction, but it caused Loren to trust Stone more than he should after such a short time.
“There’s already a bit of space in the front. Let me move things around, and then you’ll have more privacy.” Stone moved to the front of the boat, unhooked some straps, pushed some bags around, then strapped them back down. He returned to where Loren stood. “Okay. You can go up there and see if it will work.”
Loren moved up to the front of the boat and found a padded seat similar to a couch. “It’s perfect.”
“Good.” Stone smiled then settled into his seat and picked up the oars. “You can take off your trunks and rinse them out. I’ll keep the boat turned backward to give you all the privacy you need.”
“Thank you.” Loren felt the urge to cry again, but this time, it was Stone’s kindness that brought it on.
Loren stripped down, rinsed his trunks in the water, then pulled them back on. His T-shirt was soaking wet, but he didn’t want to take off his life jacket. Besides, the hot sun warmed him up faster than he would have thought.
“You dressed?” Stone asked.
“I am. Thank you.”
“No problem.” Stone rowed with the current, moving the heavy boat downriver until they caught up to the other two boats. He kept them close, but not too close. Instead of turning around, Stone kept the back of the boat facing downriver, giving Loren plenty of time to get his head back on straight.
Loren had calmed down more than he would have imagined possible, but when he heard growling, he rose and peered downriver.
“It’s Soap Creek Rapid.” Stone turned the boat around so Loren could see it while staying in his seat.
“Is it a big rapid?” Honestly, Loren couldn’t tell. He’d thought the other one had been small until they’d gotten closer. He realized the waves were as big as cars, and they seemed to come from every direction at once. They’d slapped him from all sides, soaking him, freezing him, and terrifying him.
“It’s not too big, but don’t worry. You’re in the kitchen boat now.”
“What does that mean?”
“If you want high excitement, jump into the paddle boat. If you want a calm ride, stick with the kitchen boat.”
“I’ll stick with you.”
Stone grinned.
“Not that you aren’t exciting.”
“I have my moments.” Stone settled his hat on his head and tried to hide an even bigger grin.
Loren almost said something else but changed his mind. Stone didn’t seem offended. If anything, he seemed pleased. Curious, Loren found himself wanting to examine everything about the man from the top of his battered, wide-brimmed hat to his scruffy beard, to his massive chest and powerful arms. He’d be able to see more of him, but a light cloth shirt covered his upper body along with a life jacket. Still, Loren could check out his cargo shorts, his strong, hairy legs, and his big, bare feet.
If Loren saw Stone walking down the street, he’d think he was a badass biker or something like that. Back at the put-in, he’d seen Stone without the long-sleeved shirt. He had tattoos all over his arms. Probably had them on his chest too, but he’d had a T-shirt on, so Loren couldn’t see. He’d been intrigued by the T-shirt though. It had a strange symbol and the word TOP in big letters. Loren had no clue what it meant, but he wanted to find out.
“You’re going to get wet on this next one since you’re in the front of the boat, but I think you’ll feel better because you’re tucked down in and have something to hold on to.”
Loren realized there were straps on either side of the seat. He also felt wedged in, like he couldn’t easily fall out. On the other boat, he’d been elevated in the center with straps to cling to, but not like this. Loren felt a million times safer on Stone’s boat.
“I’ll be okay.”
“Good.” Stone nodded. “Tomorrow, I’ll set up a place closer to me, like what Channing has on Jon’s boat.”
“I don’t want you to go to any trouble.” Loren had to raise his voice to be heard over the roar of the upcoming rapid.
“No trouble at all.” Stone met his gaze over the edge of his sunglasses. His smile caused crinkle lines around his eyes.
For once, Loren actually believed it when someone said that to him. Stone wasn’t saying it under his breath or with a snotty expression on his face. His kind smile had literally touched his eyes.
This time, when Loren settled into his seat, he smiled. He felt anticipation as the boat got closer and closer to the rapid, but he didn’t feel dread like he had before. When the boat slipped into the rapid, he clung to the straps, but this boat didn’t get tossed around the way the paddle boat had. Stone’s boat seemed to squash everything in its path.
Loren got splashed, but he didn’t panic this time. He could see what was coming at him and prepare himself. When they came out the other side, he smiled with relief and joy.
“You okay?” Stone called out.
“Yeah.” Loren rose and settled on the seat on his knees so he could face Stone. “That was...” well not fun, but it hadn’t been terrifying. “That was a lot better.”
“I’m glad.” Stone’s brow lowered.
Loren’s heart sped up. What could he have possibly done wrong?
“I think you need a different shirt.”
“What?” Loren had expected just about anything other than that.
“Your arms are looking sunburned.”
“Oh?” Loren checked his arms. “I put on sunscreen.”
“I think you’re going to need more of that too.”
Loren didn’t want to say that he didn’t have anything with him. He didn’t want to upset Stone.
“Do you have a long-sleeved shirt?” Stone asked.
“In that bag they gave me.” Loren’s gaze darted to the equipment boat Jon was rowing.
“Here.” Stone tucked the ends of the oars into the front of the boat then pulled off his life jacket then his shirt. “Put this on.” He held out the shirt.
“But that’s yours.”
Stone smiled and nodded. “Don’t worry about me.”
“But...” Loren didn’t want to argue, but he also didn’t want Stone to get hurt on his account. Although, without the shirt, he could see all the tattoos on his arms. Yanking his attention to his face, Loren asked, “What about you?”
“I’ve got sunscreen.” He opened up his ammo can then slathered sunscreen over his forearms. “Come on. Don’t be shy.”
Loren moved toward Stone. “That guy on the dock said I couldn’t take my life jacket off.”
“You’ll only have it off for a second to pull on the shirt. It’s okay. Really.”
Loren debated what to do until Stone removed his hat and his glasses, allowing him to see into his eyes. He expected them to be cold, but they were warm, making him think of cookies fresh from the oven.
“Let’s do this.” Stone slathered sunscreen on his face and around his neck. “I’ll put mine back on so if you do happen to fall in the water, I can grab you. Okay?”
“Okay.” But that wasn’t what convinced Loren to take off his life jacket. The warmth in Stone’s gaze and the kindness of his expression convinced him Stone had more patience than any other man he’d ever met.
Loren took off his life jacket, tucking it firmly under a strap to keep it from blowing away.
“You should probably take off that T-shirt.”
“Why?”
“It’s soaking wet.”
“Okay.” Feeling exposed but safe, Loren took off his T-shirt and made sure it wouldn’t blow away then he pulled on Stone’s shirt. The scent of Stone surrounded him. Loren instantly felt the same comfort that he had when Stone had wrapped his arms around him. He had to roll up the sleeves several times, and the tail hit well below the edge of his ass, but he felt much warmer.
“Sunscreen?” Stone asked.
“It’s in my ammo can back on the paddle boat.”
“Here. You can use mine.”
“Thank you.” Loren’s ex would have given him a lecture about being prepared. Then again, his ex would never have done what Stone had. He would have left Loren on the paddle boat to punish him.
While Loren smoothed lotion over his face, neck, and hands, he wondered in what other ways Stone was different from all the other men he’d ever known.