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After finally getting untangled from his sleeping bag, Loren had gotten to his feet and scanned the area for the wolf. He didn’t see anything. He stood there, trying to decide what to do. Should he grab his sleeping bag and cot and move closer to someone else? If he did, would the wolf pounce on him?
Shaken, Loren trembled as he righted the cot then tossed his sleeping bag on top. He sat on the edge, brushed the sand off his feet, and then climbed back in.
Clearly, he hadn’t seen what he thought he’d seen. He’d been in that strange place, the twilight between being asleep and awake. He’d wanted a kiss goodnight from Stone, who had kissed him gently, but then Loren had wanted more, and he’d slipped his tongue into Stone’s mouth. When he’d done that, Stone had kissed him harder, hard enough to reopen the split on his lip, and then he’d just imagined that Stone had turned into a wolf.
Loren touched his upper lip, expecting to find the wound just as it had been, but it was bleeding. He dabbed his sleeve against the sore then shook his head. Maybe he’d wiped his hand across his face and reopened the wound?
Of course, none of those thoughts explained where Stone was.
He found Stone’s cot across from his own, the sleeping bag and pillow untouched since they’d made their beds earlier in the evening.
If Stone wasn’t the wolf, then where was he?
Loren supposed he could be using the bathroom. Or maybe he’d gone to brush his teeth. Or he’d gotten hungry. Or he’d gone back to the stargazing rock. There could be a dozen reasons Stone wasn’t in his bed, none of which indicated he’d turned into a wolf.
Instead of acting like a fool, Loren would stay right where he was. He hadn’t seen what he’d thought he’d seen. He just hadn’t been all the way awake. Obviously, he’d mixed up a scary dream with Stone. That seemed the most logical explanation.
Resolved to put the whole thing behind him, Loren took deep breaths until his heart rate slowed and the shivers abated.
Above him, the moon rose over the canyon wall, turning everything silver.
Just as he reached the edge of sleep, a mournful howl echoed through the canyon, wrenching him wide awake, making his heart pound while he turned his head this way and that as he tried to look everywhere at once.
The only way Loren managed to calm himself down a second time was that the sound hadn’t come from somewhere nearby. If he’d really seen a wolf, and he still wasn’t certain he had, he’d probably scared it more than it had scared him. It had probably run off to find its friends. That was why it was howling. It was alone and afraid.
It took twice as long to get himself calmed down the second time, but he managed. On the verge of sleep, he caught movement out the corner of his eye. He kept still, breathing at the same moderate pace as he watched something slinking toward him.
Moonlight spilled over a black wolf with dark eyes, highlighting the tufted ends of the beast’s fur as he moved. When he got closer, Loren closed his eyes to slits, but he refused to close them all the way. He had to see. He had to know.
The wolf came closer to his bed, closed his eyes, and breathed in, lifting his head. He huffed out a breath then turned away. The glossy fur turned silver by moonlight vanished as long, strong limbs covered with thick body hair came into being.
Had he not witnessed the transformation with his own eyes, Loren wouldn’t have believed it. One moment the wolf stood there and the next Stone stood there. For a second, he’d been bare, his powerful body almost impossibly beautiful, but then the clothing he’d put on earlier formed around him, covering him up. Loren blinked and Stone seemed just as he had been only a few hours ago.
“I am so sorry,” Stone murmured. He leaned over and kissed the top of Loren’s head. “Please don’t hate me.”
Loren kept on breathing at a steady pace.
Stone turned away then climbed into his bed. He turned on his back and stared up at the sky for a long time before finally closing his eyes.
Loren closed his too but couldn’t sleep. No way could he change things around in his mind. He’d seen what he’d seen. Stone had even apologized. But for what? For scaring him or for being a wolf? Unsure, Loren tried not to think about any of it but found his mind tossing up scenes from old black and white movies.
In the films, the werewolves were always the bad guys. Sometimes they didn’t know what they were doing while in the throes of their beastly forms, but that didn’t save them from the good guy’s silver bullets. But Stone didn’t seem like the kind of guy who got turned into a werewolf. They were usually bad guys to start with, and they only got worse once they transformed. Then again, they always got changed by being bitten, and Stone said he liked the mountains best of all. Could that account for how he’d gotten infected? And if he’d said he was sorry, did that mean he knew what he was?
Too many questions, no clear answers.
Loren fell into a troubled sleep and woke as soon as the sky started to get light. He didn’t get up, though. He stayed in bed, pretending to sleep while he checked on Stone. He was still on his back, but his eyes were no longer closed. His brow was furrowed, his lips pressed tensely together.
Unable to tell anything about Stone’s mood, Loren yawned and sat up.
“Morning.” Stone smiled at him, a tight-lipped, uncertain smile.
“Morning.” Loren unzipped his sleeping bag and climbed out. “Should we get breakfast going?”
“Uh, yeah. In a few minutes.”
“Okay. Well, I’m going to go clean up.” Loren fished his dopp kit out of his dry bag then hurried away. He didn’t run but he didn’t linger. Mostly he wanted to give Stone time to think about what he wanted to do. Confess, act like it never happened, or something in-between those two things. Loren would go along with whatever Stone chose because he still had nineteen days to go before he got off the river. Not that he was afraid of Stone, not exactly, but that strange undercurrent between them, the thing that had felt like destiny and danger pulling them together, suddenly made a lot more sense.
After using the bathroom, brushing his teeth, and splashing water on his face, Loren returned to his cot and pulled out fresh clothing for the day. He’d wear the same shorts, but he brought enough swimming briefs to wear them like underwear.
“About last night...”
“What about it?” Loren put his briefs on top of his sleeping bag then added a lighter T-shirt that would dry faster, his shorts, and then the long-sleeved shirt Stone had lent him. “I can wear this again, right?”
“Yeah, sure.” Stone frowned then swung his legs out of bed. When he dug his toes into the sand, Loren noticed his foot landed right next to an enormous paw print. If he needed more proof that he’d seen what he’d seen, he had it now.
“Sorry I fell asleep on you last night.” Loren fiddled with his chosen clothing for the day.
“No problem.”
“I just felt...safe.”
“You are. Safe, I mean. I’d never let anything happen to you.”
“That’s good.” Loren glanced over his shoulder. “I promise you the same.”
“Yeah.” Stone sounded more confused. “I just wanted...” He trailed off but didn’t finish the thought. Instead, he asked, “Did you sleep well?”
Loren realized he could let Stone off the hook right now. “I slept okay. Had a weird dream, though.”
“About what?”
“Oh, nothing. You’ll just laugh at me.”
“I’m sure I won’t,” Stone muttered under his breath. If not for the perfectly still and quiet morning, Loren might not have heard him.
“Well, I thought I saw a wolf.” Loren paused, waiting for Stone to say something. When he remained quiet, Loren added, “And then I thought I heard one, but then I realized I must have been asleep.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because I asked that guide at the place where we launched the boats, and she said there haven’t been wolves in this area for decades.” Loren faced Stone. “They were hunted into extinction.”
“Yeah.” Stone nodded. “People killed them for no reason at all.”
“People can be assholes.”
“Yeah.” Stone stared at him as if he could drill right into his head and find the answers he sought. “They considered reintroducing them but decided it was too controversial.”
“Because of all the tourists?”
“Yeah.”
“Makes sense.” Loren paused again, watching Stone’s face for a reaction, but he gave none. “It’s bad for business if someone gets mauled.”
Stone’s brow furrowed deep enough to plant seeds in. “Wolves aren’t like that.”
“I didn’t say they were.” Loren wanted to assure him he didn’t think badly of wolves, no matter what kind they might be. “I just mean that the park rangers and other people around here would probably worry about the potential public relations nightmare. You know, all it would take is one accident and...”
“Oh. Right. I see what you’re saying.”
“Are you afraid of wolves?” Loren turned back to his clothing.
“I respect them. They’re powerful animals.”
“They’re pack animals, aren’t they? You wouldn’t find a wolf traveling alone.” Loren held his breath as his gaze darted to the other men they traveled with, most of whom were still wrapped up in their sleeping bags. What were the odds that Stone was a werewolf but the others weren’t?
“Yeah. Wolves are pack animals.”
“What about that whole lone wolf thing?” Loren couldn’t decide if he was playing with fire or trying to put a fire out.
“I think that’s only when one of them leaves his current pack to start a new one.”
Loren nodded and kept his cool. The officials had him on a list somewhere. If he didn’t come out the other end of this river trip, questions would be asked. Stone and the others wouldn’t get away with disposing of him, which meant as long as he stayed quiet about what he’d seen, he would make it out okay. If they thought he was a threat to him, they could kill him and then leave the area as wolves.
Loren had a sudden vision of all those unsolved mysteries he used to watch on television. How many times had unexplainable things happened to people when the explanation might be something so outrageous no one had ever considered it? If everyone on the trip vanished into thin air, no one would ever suspect werewolves. Anyone who did would be considered insane and dismissed.
“I’m just glad I didn’t panic last night.” Loren opened his ammo can and checked that he had everything he would need. Today and every day after, he wasn’t going to be relying on Stone or anyone else. He’d be friendly and helpful in the kitchen, but he’d keep his mouth and the rest of his body to himself. Or at least he’d try. Somehow, even knowing that Stone was a werewolf didn’t so much as put a dent in his longing for him.
“I’m glad you weren’t hurt.”
“Hurt?” Loren turned around. “You mean when I fell over? That’s what I get for overreacting.” He laughed and then closed up his ammo can. “Should we go and get breakfast started?”
“You don’t have to help if you don’t want to.”
“I want to.” Loren smiled at him. “Like I said, I want to learn more about cooking and running a kitchen.”
“You thinking of going into this line of work?” Worry drew Stone’s eyebrows together.
“Maybe.” Loren shrugged. “I’m thinking having more job skills is always a good thing.”
“You got that right.” Stone got to his feet.
Loren had quite literally forgotten how big he was until the man stood in front of him.
“Are you okay?” Stone asked.
“Just a little dizzy. I think I’m dehydrated.”
“You’ve got to watch your water intake.”
“I’ll do better with that today.”
“After you.” Stone lifted his hand toward the kitchen area.
Loren took a step that direction but when he sensed movement behind him, he glanced back then quickly away. Stone used his big, bare feet to obliterate the paw prints in the sand. If he needed further proof that Stone was indeed the wolf he’d seen last night, he had it now. As to if the others were werewolves or not, he didn’t know, and it really didn’t matter. What he needed to do was keep his nose out of their business.
“Wait.” Loren turned back. “Why don’t you go and get things started while I get dressed?”
“Oh. Yeah.” Stone moved in front of him then continued to the kitchen.
Loren kept his gaze on him through the bushes while he got dressed. Afterward, he joined him.
Working together, they got the kitchen set up then got the coffee going. The smell drew people out of their sleeping bags.
“Like zombies looking for brains,” Stone quipped.
Loren laughed then made sure that the two of them got served fresh coffee first. “I know the cook is supposed to go last, but we can hardly stay focused without caffeine.”
“I like the way you think.” Stone poured cream and sugar into both their cups while Loren doled out coffee to the first group of people.
Soon, they had more coffee and food, and then everyone was up, talking quietly.
Each time Loren glanced at Stone, he found his gaze on him. Only, when Stone met Loren’s eyes, he smiled that tight-lipped, unsure smile, but he wouldn’t look away. Every time, Loren had to break off contact first.
God, nineteen more days of this? Loren would never survive. Would he be better off saying something to Stone now, or should he be finding a way to end whatever it was between them? Loren supposed he could find room on Jon’s boat, but that might bring a bunch of awkward questions. But if he stayed close to Stone, Loren didn’t think knowing Stone was a werewolf would make a damn bit of difference to his hormones. Just working near him in the kitchen brought on an almost painful longing to be held against his chest again while they stargazed.
The real question seemed to be if he could accept Stone or not. Loren liked him. A lot. And he’d never met a man so big but so tender. Loren supposed he should find out what being a werewolf really meant. If Stone went crazy and ran around howling once a month, he supposed he could deal with that. But if he killed people or mauled them then Loren wouldn’t be able to look the other way. Well, maybe if he killed bad people, like Dexter but with fangs and fur, Loren could let it go, but otherwise...
“You better get yourself some food before it’s all gone.”
Loren nodded at Stone then filled his plate. He moved off to the edge of the water, trying to figure out what to do. And he’d better figure it out quickly. After breakfast, they would take a hike, and then they’d be back on the boats, and he’d be with Stone for rest of the day.