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If he had the power to go back in time, Stone would have kept his damn lips to himself. Unfortunately, he was stuck with not only what he’d done, but the fallout of his actions. Despite Loren saying he believed the wolf had been part of a dream, Stone felt in his gut that Loren knew the truth.
One drop of blood had changed everything.
Stone could no more let Loren go than he could bite his own teeth. The kiss had not only reopened the wound but also locked Loren to him as his mate. Even now, Stone couldn’t stop thinking about finishing their mating bond. No matter what happened between Jon and Channing, Stone had already claimed Loren as his mate, and he honestly didn’t know if he’d ruined everything for the entire pack.
His fellow wolf-shifters sensed something in the wind, but they couldn’t pinpoint anything, not in their human forms. Had they come close to Loren last night in their wolf bodies, they would have smelled the truth, but Stone had put their beds far away from everyone else’s.
Besides, everyone would blame the unsettled emotions on Jon and Channing. They knew something was going on between Stone and Loren, but given the comments they’d made last night, they all thought Loren was just another horny human servicing Stone.
Hell, they didn’t even leave their nastiness in the dark. Broad daylight and here they were, speculating about Loren like he was nothing more than a piece of meat.
“He does have a nice ass, doesn’t he?” Hodge elbowed Hennessey while chucking his chin toward Loren, who had taken his breakfast to the edge of the beach.
“Fine as fuck.” Hennessey chuckled. “Or fine to fuck.”
If Stone said anything, he’d only make things worse for himself and Loren, so he kept his lips zipped and tried to find a way to make things right. How, though? How could he put the brakes on his mating while encouraging Jon to claim Channing ASAP? If nothing else, Stone had to wait until Jon claimed his mate. If he didn’t, Stone might upset the whole balance of their pack, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.
“You really shouldn’t have done that last night.” Jon kept his voice down while he refilled his plate for the second time.
“Sorry?” Stone had no idea what Jon meant, so he claimed ignorance.
“Howling like that.” Jon kept his voice intimately low so only the two of them could hear their discussion.
“That. Yeah. I’m sorry.” Stone refilled Jon’s coffee cup.
“What the hell got into you?”
“I...” Stone trailed off then he found a reason that he truly hated himself for lying about. “I scented you and Channing. I scented your mating essence.” Stone drew a deep breath and turned slightly away. “I reacted without thinking.”
“Fuck, Stone.” Jon dropped his utensils on his plate and grasped Stone’s forearm, feeding strength and acceptance to him when he didn’t deserve either. “I’m not resisting Channing to drive the rest of you up the wall. I’m trying to make it comfortable for him.”
Of course Jon wouldn’t want to claim Channing without consent any more than Stone would want to do that to Loren. “I understand that. I really do.” Stone didn’t want Jon to feel bad about something beyond his control. “I just...” Stone gritted his teeth and confessed the truth as much as he could. “I like Loren.”
“Who?” Jon uttered the one word with a frown and lowered brows, clearly baffled.
“Loren.” Stone nodded toward his mate at the water’s edge.
“He’s...” Jon didn’t ask. Instead, he said, “He’s the one.”
“He is. I know it.” Stone couldn’t shake the taste of Loren’s blood from his tongue even though it had been over twelve hours since he’d tasted him. Give him twelve years in isolation, he’d still remember the rich metallic flavor of his mate.
“Is he innocent?” Jon asked.
“What the fuck kind of a question is that?” Stone blurted without thinking then tried to backtrack but only made it worse by demanding, “Is your mate a virgin?”
“That’s not what I meant.” Jon snarled the words then glanced around to ensure they were still alone with their conversation. “I’m asking if any of the others have had him.”
Stone felt his head practically explode. Calming down took so much effort he figured he’d be fucked for energy the rest of the day.
“Has anyone else on this trip—”
“No one other than me has touched him,” Stone snarled.
“Okay.” Jon kept his tone civil, his manner contrite. “I’m not being an ass, Stone. You know how it is.”
“I do.” But Stone didn’t. Not really. When he’d thought he had a mate before—Stone yanked himself away from that memory. He couldn’t think about that now. He couldn’t imagine his pack leader, his longest and most trusted friend, would ever do anything to hurt him the way his father had. Jon was not his father. Not only that but no matter what might be going on with Jon personally, he would never do anything to willingly hurt Stone or any other member of his pack.
“If he’s your mate, he’s your mate.” Jon’s words calmed Stone. “There’s just the issue that I haven’t claimed my mate yet.”
“I know.” Stone didn’t understand the dynamics, not exactly, but he believed that if Jon didn’t go first, the rest of them would be cast adrift.
“I’m not there yet,” Jon said.
“How close are you?”
“Soon.”
“That’s vague and not helping me at all.”
“I know.” Jon growled under his breath. “Channing is... I know he’s the right one, but if I push too hard too fast...”
“You’ll scare him away?” Stone guessed.
“That’s my fear.” Jon sighed so hard he ruffled Stone’s shirt. “He can’t run, not really, but... I can’t just force him. I don’t want that.”
“I feel the same way about Loren.” More than anything else, Stone didn’t want to terrify his mate.
“Have you told him about us, about our kind?” Jon asked.
“No.” That wasn’t a lie, not exactly, but Stone left out the part where Loren had certainly figured it out on his own. They’d been dancing around the truth all morning.
“Then just wait a few days. I’m sure by then Channing will be ready.”
Instead of speaking a lie, Stone nodded and let Jon draw his own conclusions. A few days? Stone figured he could hold off maybe twenty-four hours, but no longer than that. He owed Jon, he literally owed him his life, and he wanted to make good on that, but when his mating instinct kicked in, he might not be able to control himself.
Stone’s gaze landed on Loren. He understood why his packmates looked at him with lust. Loren had golden strands shot through his sleek brown hair, big hazel eyes balanced over a freckle spattered nose, and even with the split above his lip, he had the most kissable mouth in the universe. Stone’s gaze went lower, over his short but strong body. When Loren leaned over to wash his hands off in the water, Stone groaned and readjusted himself. Loren had a great ass. Nice and plump on top of sturdy legs that—
Stone yanked his gaze away then went and washed his hands.
Yes, Loren was attractive, but he was also kind. And sweet. And...damn it. Stone wanted him for all kinds of reasons. He probably would even if he hadn’t tasted his blood. He couldn’t put his finger on everything they had in common, but he felt the details were there. Time would deepen the bond, but the first few threads had already attached them to one another.
When the crew polished off the food, Stone tapped new people to do the dishes. Without being asked, Loren returned and helped him put all the kitchen gear back in the boxes.
“Leave that out,” Stone said, nodding to the large frosting knife. “We’re going to make sandwiches for lunch.”
“Now?”
“Yeah. Well, we can do it after the hike if you want.”
“I don’t feel much like hiking.”
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Stone moved closer, half expecting Loren to move away, but he didn’t, which made Stone feel a thousand percent better. “If you think you might be ill, you shouldn’t be touching the food.”
“I just think I didn’t get good sleep last night.” Loren met his gaze then looked down at his feet.
“Would more coffee help?”
“Probably not.”
“You can catch a nap later today. If you want.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” Loren met his gaze. “A nap.”
“Yeah.” Stone pictured napping next to Loren and had to turn away. “Will you get out three loaves of bread? Pick different kinds. I’ll get the meat.” Stone cringed when that word took a weird turn in his head. “I’ll get the cheese and condiments too.”
“Is that what the big knife is for?” Loren placed the loaves on the table.
“Makes spreading things go fast.”
“Show me.”
“Sure.” Stone washed his hands again for good measure. He grinned when Loren did too without even being asked. “You’ve already got the most important part down.”
“What’s that?”
“Hygiene.”
“Ah.” Loren chuckled.
Stone showed him how to make a lot of sandwiches very fast by laying out two long rows of bread, one atop the other so that he could slather condiments over them in a line rather than one by one. With that done, he then piled on meat, cheese, and lettuce.
“But what about people who don’t want mayo or mustard?”
“Well, as Hennessey would say, they can suck it.”
“That’s not very nice.” But Loren chuckled anyway.
“No, it’s not, but this also isn’t a commercial trip. We don’t have to cater to—” Stone cut himself off. He’d gotten so comfortable with Loren that he’d forgotten Loren and the other two guys had paid to come on the trip. “What I mean is that no one on this trip is going to ask for a refund if they get mustard on their sandwich.”
“I can’t imagine anyone would,” Loren agreed evenly. “Has that ever happened?”
“Not over condiments but once over organic turkey.” Stone finished with the first batch of sandwiches. They closed them up and put them right back in the bread bag. He then laid out the next set. “I had removed the sliced turkey from the thick packaging plastic and put it in a lighter storage container. This guy freaked the fuck out since I couldn’t prove it was free-range organic.”
“What did he do?”
“Wanted all his money back and demanded we take him to his car.”
“Back to his car at the motel?” Loren’s eyes went wide and he scoffed.
“Yep.”
“What did you do?”
“Well, Jon explained reality to him, but he wasn’t having it, so I explained reality to him.”
“You intimidated him?” Loren frowned and inched back.
“I most certainly did not.” Stone slathered mayo across the bottom row of bread. “I calmly explained to him that bringing everything in the original packaging would take up double the room. None of the food, but for the bread, had the original packaging. Now, if he felt strongly about it, I could make him toast for every meal.”
Loren suppressed a grin. “How long was this trip?”
“Two weeks.”
“I’ll bet he changed his mind.”
“He changed his mind so fast it was like he’d grown a new brain.”
Loren laughed and inched closer.
“Is the food organic?” Loren asked. “Not that I’m a purist. I’m just curious.” He laughed lightly. “And I didn’t mean for that to rhyme.”
“No worries.” Stone was glad to have his comfortable connection to Loren back. “Some is organic. We’ve got friends with farms, some who raise beef, pork, and chicken. We buy what we can, what’s in season. I’d like to have an organic farm of my own someday. Not so much to make money but to grow food for all the guys.”
“You mean all the guys on this trip?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you all related or something?”
“We’ve all worked together for a long time.”
“Like a family?”
“Sure.”
“Or a pack.” Loren met Stone’s eyes and lifted one brow.
“Sure.” Stone didn’t look away. If they were going to do this, then they were going to do it. At least they had the beach to themselves. “All of us together are a pack.”
“Well, I didn’t think you were a lone wolf.”
“Lone wolves don’t survive very long.”
“Make sense. Everyone needs a family or friends or...a pack.”
“It’s not what you think.”
“How do you know what I think?”
“I—don’t.” Stone handed the knife to Loren to hold while he put meat on the bread. “Why don’t you tell me what you think?”
“I think you’re a werewolf.”
Stone grimaced.
“What was that face about?”
“I don’t like that word.”
“What would you have me call you?”
“Stone. That’s my name.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah.” Stone checked the beach over again.
“We’re alone.” Loren handed him another stack of perfectly sliced cheese.
“I’m a wolf-shifter.”
“Okay.” Loren propped the frosting knife up then prepped more lettuce.
“Okay?”
“Okay.” Loren nodded. “Are you—does your kind...kill...my kind?”
“Oh, fuck.” Stone abandoned the sandwiches. He dropped to his knees and then pulled Loren close. “I would never, ever hurt you.”
For a moment, Loren stood there unmoving, making Stone think he’d gone too far, but then he placed his hands on Stone’s shoulders. “Okay.”
“Do you believe me?” Stone peered up into Loren’s eyes.
“I do.” Loren stroked lightly over Stone’s shoulders. “I just needed to make sure.”
“Trust me, I don’t want to hurt you. I want to claim you.”
“Claim me?” Loren’s eyebrows collided in confusion.
“We mate for life.”
“Oh, whoa. I...” Loren shrugged helplessly. “That’s a bit much. I’ve known you for two days.”
“I know. It’s fast. But that’s how it happens and—fuck. I’m making a mess of this.”
“Do I have a choice?”
Stone wanted to say no, but he couldn’t lie. “I think you do.”
“You don’t know for sure?”
“Well, we kind of didn’t do this the right way, and now I don’t know what will happen.”
“I think you should stand up, and we should talk while we finish fixing lunch.”
“I just wanted to be smaller than you so you wouldn’t think I was trying to intimidate you.”
Loren’s brows shot up, his eyes went wide, and then he smiled. “I appreciate that, but you don’t need to worry.” He kissed Stone’s forehead. “I know you’re not that kind of guy.”
Stone got to his feet, brushed the sand off his knees, then washed his hands again, as did Loren.
“I don’t think I’ve ever washed my hands this much.” Loren sighed. “I’m going to get dishpan hands.”
Stone laughed. “I’ve got some good lotion you can use.”
“Why don’t your hands look like onion skin?”
“I’m used to it.” Stone continued making sandwiches.
“Okay, so, talk.”
“I’ll tell you what I know.”
Loren nodded then tore the lettuce into separate leaves then stacked them on a dishtowel.
“When male and female wolf-shifters mate, there are very clear steps, but our pack is all males.”
“And you know I’m not a female, right?”
“Trust me, I know.” Stone gave him his best leer.
“I knew you were watching me get dressed yesterday.”
“Like you didn’t look over your shoulder at me?”
“I only did it because you did.”
“Right.” Stone scoffed.
“Go on.”
“The thing is, none of us even thought we could have mates.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Before we left that parking lot, Jon scented his mate.”
“Who?”
“Channing.”
“Oh.” Loren nodded. “That would explain why they’ve been practically joined at the hip.”
“Yeah.”
“Wait. Did you scent me?”
“Not exactly.” Stone sighed. “I spotted you because you’re cute as fuck and don’t even argue with me about that because you are.” Stone added lettuce to the sandwiches. “But I didn’t think you were my mate. And you may not be. I mean I think you are. I mean—” Stone cut himself off and took a deep breath. “If I hadn’t ripped open that sore on your upper lip I never would have tasted your blood, and now I know you’re my mate.”
“That’s a lot of words.”
“Sorry. It just gets all jumbled up in my head. I know you’re my mate. If Jon and Channing had more time, and if I hadn’t tasted your blood, I would have eventually scented you, and courted you, but...”
“You tasting my blood makes the difference.”
“Yeah.” More relief at having it all out poured over his ravaged nerves.
“Weren’t we just talking about how our lives could change so fast over the smallest thing?”
“I think it’s kind of fucked up that your ex abusing you opened the door to me.”
“I don’t think so.”
Stone waited for him to explain.
“Duane messed up everything in my life. He’s like the shitty gift that keeps on giving.”
Stone felt utterly crushed. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.”
“I thought—”
“It is what it is, okay?” Loren glanced away then softly said, “Maybe, for the first time, something shitty that happened to me is turning into something good.”
“You mean the slap leading to me?”
“Yeah.” Loren met his gaze then almost immediately looked away as if he just couldn’t bear to be so emotionally vulnerable with another man so soon after what had happened with his ex. If Stone did nothing else, he would give Loren all the leeway in the world until he realized he stood on solid ground with a man who would never willingly hurt him.
“I’m still sorry I kissed you so hard.”
“I wanted you to.” Loren sighed then asked, “Is that...is my blood what made you change?”
“Yeah.” Even now, standing here in broad daylight, Stone could smell Loren’s blood through his skin. He felt the heat and heard the lub-dub of his beating heart.
“I thought you had to have a full moon to transform.”
“You’ve seen too many old movies.”
“I was thinking that.” Loren frowned. “But wait. If you know I’m your mate then, well, it’s all said and done, isn’t it?”
Despite the fact Loren didn’t sound too upset about that fact, Stone didn’t want to lie to him. “I think so. It’s just that, well, Jon’s our pack leader. In the regular shifter world, the pack leader has to have a mate first, then everyone else gets one.”
“That doesn’t seem fair.”
“Yeah, well, that’s the way it is.”
“So we can’t mate until Jon and Channing do?”
“I think so.” Stone finished up with the second batch of sandwiches. “But I don’t know for sure. I just don’t want to mess things up for Jon and Channing.”
“And by mate you mean...”
Stone waited for Loren to fill in the blank. When he didn’t, Stone said, “They have to fuck.”
“Well, you didn’t need to be so crude about it.” Loren laid out the next two rows of bread while Stone put the others in the empty bread bag.
“Well, it’s not making love when your hormones are going crazy, and you think you might die if you can’t get deep enough.” Stone slathered condiments over the lower row of bread.
“So you’ve mated before?”
“No.” Stone tried to blot out the memories and succeeded. Barely. “I just know from my first pack how things are. And when I hookup with humans, it’s like a prelude to mating.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I’m not a virgin, Loren.”
“Me either. But you mean you, like, pretended to mate with humans?”
“Not exactly. It’s not like—fuck.”
Loren chuckled. “You really say that a lot.”
“I’m glad I told you why so you won’t walk away again.”
“I’m not going anywhere, remember? We’ve got another nineteen days together.” Loren grabbed the next loaf of bread while Stone put the bagged sandwiches in the easy-access cooler. “We’ve got nowhere to go but down,” Loren said.
“Down?”
“Downriver.” Loren blushed slightly. “But, sure, there could be other going down things we could do together.”
Stone grinned while Loren laid out a fresh line of new bread. “I’d like that.”
“You—you’ve always been careful, though, right? I mean with all the humans you’ve bedded?”
“We don’t carry disease, but I always wore condoms anyway.” Some of the others hadn’t, and it might be why Stone never felt fully satisfied after banging a human, but he sure as hell didn’t want to tell Loren that.
“Always?”
“Always.”
Loren frowned but didn’t ask. Not that it mattered. Stone knew he wanted to know why he’d worn protection when he couldn’t get or give any STDs.
“I didn’t want to... I think I was afraid of something,” Stone admitted.
“What?” Loren asked.
“I don’t know.” But he did know. He didn’t want to bury his seed in anyone except his mate, but he didn’t know if telling Loren that would bother him or not so he decided to keep it to himself. Only, it seemed to him Loren moved back. Not a lot, just a little, just enough to tell him without words he needed a lot more honesty than Stone had been giving him. “I wanted to wait for my mate.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Stone smeared mayo on the lower row of bread. “I know it doesn’t sound like much, but I wanted my first time without anything to be with my forever-after partner.”
Loren seemed to swoon then he sobered. “Forever?”
“Well, yeah. Wolves mate for life.”
“Oh.” Loren sliced more cheese then tore off more lettuce leaves.
“Is that not something you want?”
“I haven’t thought about it.”
“You never thought about getting married?”
“Of course I have, especially now that it’s legal. It’s just, well...”
Stone waited for him to continue but this time, he didn’t fill in the blanks for him. “Loren, you have to tell me what you’re thinking. I’m trying to guess, but I don’t want to get it wrong.”
“I’m sorry. I know. I’m just—please don’t be mad at me.”
“I won’t be.”
“This is just so weird.” Loren uttered a strangled sounding laugh. “I never thought I’d be in a position like this. Mate to a wolf-shifter. I mean, think about it. I dump my ex, and then I gain a permanent partner after knowing him for two days? It’s crazy.”
“Yeah.” Stone nodded then slathered mustard over the top slices of bread. “I guess it’s easier for me. I’ve thought about it a lot.”
“You have?”
“I’ve dreamed about it.” Stone set the knife aside then put meat on the lower slices. “I just never thought it would come true.”
Loren’s face crumpled up.
“I’m not saying that to hurt you.” Stone wanted that crystal clear. “I just didn’t think it would ever happen. I honestly didn’t think gay wolves could get mates.”
“I’m glad you did.” Loren leaned into him, kissed his shoulder, then put cheese on the sandwiches. “I’m just trying to adjust.”
“I know. Me too.” Stone added lettuce then together they closed the sandwiches. “I would be a good mate.”
“I think you would be.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Loren hesitated for so long Stone didn’t think he’d tell him the truth, but he did. Haltingly, and while keeping his attention on the table, but Loren still told Stone what scared him the most.
“Have you ever known of any mated pairs that, well, once they did all the mating stuff, they turned out to be bad for each other?”
“No.” Stone hadn’t even heard jokes about such a thing.
“Really?”
“Not every pair was blissful beyond all reason or anything like that. They argued, they disagreed, but that mating bond kept them together. They learned to work things out.”
“What about if...”
Stone waited then realized what Loren couldn’t say. “I would never abuse you.”
Loren looked up then away. “I shouldn’t have even asked.”
“You didn’t. I just realized that would be what would scare you the most.” Stone opened his arms and Loren came to him, wrapping his arms around him, hugging him hard. “We don’t do that. Wolves don’t do that. We have a hierarchy and respect, and just—we don’t do that.”
“You mean only humans beat their partners?”
“As far as I know.” Stone breathed in the scent of Loren by burying his nose against his head. “I don’t know of any animal who does what some humans do.” Stone held him a little more firmly. “The thought of hitting you makes me physically ill.”
“I believe you.”
“Is that your greatest fear?”
“I would have to say yes, it is. Being abused and being unable to break free would be my worst nightmare. Even though you’re not like that, the idea of it still frightens me.”
“I understand.” And Stone really, truly did. “I can tell you a million times I’m not like that, but you’re going to have to see for yourself.”
“That’s the scary part.” Loren lifted his head. “Duane didn’t hit me on the first date. Or the second. Or even the third. It started with putting me down, taking charge of things like ordering my meals when we went out, deciding what we would do without asking me. And then, once he’d pulled me down, damaged my self-esteem to the point I honestly thought he was the best I could ever do, then he started hitting me.”
Stone clenched his hands.
“When you do that”—Loren pointed to Stone’s fists—“You scare me.”
“Fuck.” Stone released the tension right away. “Trust me, I’m not thinking about hitting you but about beating the shit out of Duane.”
“But that’s just it. I don’t want you to do that to anyone. I don’t want you to do to him what he did to me. I don’t want anyone to hit anyone for any reason. Well, unless it’s life or death. But other than that, I don’t think people should hit each other.”
“You’re right and I’m sorry.” Stone took a deep breath. “I’ll do my best to stop doing that.”
“Okay.”
“Can I still say fuck when I don’t know what else to say?”
“Sure.” Loren laughed then gazed up into Stone’s eyes. “This is all so much so fast.”
“I know.” Stone cupped his cheek then drew him close. “If I could change things, I would.”
“You would?”
“I would at least not have kissed you last night. Tasting your blood just pushed up our timetable, I think.” Stone hungered to taste his blood again, only this time, he wanted to mate with him first.
“Why can’t we mate right now?”
Loren’s question made Stone’s cock harden so suddenly it yanked all the blood out of his brain, rendering him unable to think of a single reason for almost a full minute. When his gaze landed on Jon’s boat, Stone remembered. “Because of Jon.”
“Because he’s the leader.”
“Pack leader. Yeah. He has to claim a mate first.”
“Because if you do, you’ll be the leader?”
Stone didn’t know. But he really, really didn’t want to find out.