Chapter Fifteen

Lauren finished working and closed the lid of her laptop. She gathered all of the glasses and mugs she’d used throughout the day and brought them to the sink in Ethan’s kitchen.

She’d started working from Grams’s café earlier in the morning, but there had been too many interruptions to concentrate on work. Not to mention, Grams was on a kick about Lauren’s eating habits, which had changed since she’d become pregnant. Currently she was too nauseous for a lot of her usual favorites, so she stuck to bland foods and lots of carbs. Grams took the liberty of reminding her that too many carbs weren’t going to allow her to wear her too-skinny jeans.

Gabby also kept stopping by Lauren’s table in the back corner to chat. Lauren suspected that Grams had been persistently asking for some cookie recipe that Gabby claimed was secret. Unlike Lauren, Gabby would rather hide than tell Grams to back off.

After not one, but two, former classmates stopped to say hi and catch up—a welcome distraction but still a distraction—Lauren had realized she needed to get out of there.

Ethan’s house had turned out to be perfect, since he was working at the bar in the morning and afternoon. Nothing to get in her way or take her away from work. Plus, it smelled like Ethan. Especially when she’d gotten cold and put one of his shirts on.

She’d breathed in his scent, a unique musky aroma mixed with fresh soap. It was comforting, and she snuggled into the flannel.

“Pathetic,” she said aloud.

Here she was, cuddling with Ethan’s clothes while she hadn’t gotten any closure from the other day at the baby store. Her emotions were all over the place when it came to her “boyfriend” who may or may not consider moving to Alaska.

That emotional turmoil mixed with her job and her pregnancy left her absolutely exhausted. She toddled over to Ethan’s big, comfy couch and curled up with a soft blanket.

If she closed her eyes and allowed herself, she could pretend that this was her everyday life. Ethan and her living together. Lauren would work from the comfort of their house while Ethan was at the bar.

Her eyes popped open. Whoa. She needed to dial it way back. This had to be a hormone thing. She was still upset about the other night and feeling way too vulnerable.

What she needed was to focus on something else.

She quickly composed a text to her sisters. Asked if they wanted to order pizza and have a girls’ night.

Lauren decided to change into a new outfit that she may or may not have bought at a little shop on Main Street called The Sparkly Mermaid.

One of her biggest rules was never buy an outfit without also buying accessories that may be needed for said outfit. That’s why she’d also picked up dangly pink earrings and a metallic silver belt to go with the cute summery jumpsuit in a pretty turquoise color. She was just touching up her makeup in Ethan’s bedroom when he walked in, immediately stripping out of his shirt.

Lauren couldn’t help but watch him in the mirror. Things had been a little strained since the Alaska conversation, but still. The man had a killer body, and she was only human.

“I see you ogling me,” he called over his shoulder as he grabbed a shirt from the closet.

“Please. I’m far too busy looking at myself to be concerned with your hotness.”

“Sorry I couldn’t be here today.”

She applied a thick coat of mascara. “No problem. I needed the quiet to work, and I got a ton accomplished.”

“Good. Looks like you’re getting ready for something. Where are you heading?”

“I asked my sisters to hang out this evening.” She applied lipstick that was a deep shade of pink. One of her favorites. “I’m craving a little sister time.”

“I thought you fought with your sisters.”

Lauren blotted her lips. “All sisters fight.”

“I was going to see if you wanted to come by the bar for dinner. Hang out a little.”

“Oh.”

Ethan paused with one arm in his shirt and one arm out. “Is everything okay?” He finished putting the shirt on. “Are we okay?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“Because, about the other day—”

She shook her head, cutting him off. “It’s fine. I’m not trying to avoid you. Nothing like that.”

He crossed to her, placed a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m going to be working late tonight. I need to put some quality time in with the bar.”

“No worries. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Shoot me a text if you want to…” He finished the sentence by wiggling his eyebrows.

She laughed and batted him in the arm. With one last, long, sweltering look, Ethan left the room. Lauren finished getting ready and slipped out the front door, heading to her car.

As she drove to Grams’s house, she didn’t know how to feel. She was starting to fall for Ethan—a strange thought, for sure. She was having incredibly strong feelings for the man whose baby she was carrying.

On the other hand, she was terrified to let herself fully go with Ethan. That damn job offer had shaken her to her core. Sure, Ethan hadn’t accepted it, claiming it probably wouldn’t pan out anyway. Probably.

He’d also tried to reassure her that he was here for her and the baby. But was he?

Maybe if the job in Alaska did come through, he would say no this time. But what about the next time?

What about the time after that?

She knew without a doubt that he would continue to get offers. Enticing, exciting opportunities to do fun things that didn’t involve a screaming baby far, far away from here.

Here. Seaside Cove. Lauren couldn’t believe it, but she really was starting to consider this home again. She could work anywhere that had an internet connection. Gabby was staying for the foreseeable future, and she really did want to make sure her sister was okay. She was far from getting to the bottom of what was happening with Gabby.

All of these thoughts and feelings were swirling around her as she walked from her car to the house. Lauren hated not being able to sort through things, make sense of a situation. So, by the time she reached the beautiful house by the sea, she felt agitated.

She breezed through the door, calling out for her sisters. Almost immediately, the delightful sound of Gabby stomping down the stairs met her ears. She smiled. Just like when they were growing up. For someone who was graceful and an amazing dancer, Gabby could really clomp around.

“You’re here,” Gabby said as she jumped off the last step in front of Lauren.

“I’m here.”

“Cute jumpsuit. New?”

Lauren nodded. “From The Sparkly Mermaid.”

“Oooh, I went in there. Grams said it’s new. Great stuff.” She stuck her tongue out when Lauren elicited a little ahem. “I didn’t buy anything. I am fully aware that I am flat broke.”

“Is Grams still out for the next couple hours?”

Gabby wrapped one of her curls around her finger. “She is. Playing poker with her friends.” She laughed. “That’s right. Rose Josephs plays poker once a month. Did you know?”

Lauren followed Gabby into the kitchen, where they both grabbed drinks. “I didn’t know about her little gambling meetup, although it doesn’t surprise me. I bet she’s a hustler, too.”

“Totally,” Gabby agreed. “I ordered pizza, by the way. Should be here in sixty to ninety minutes.”

“That long?” Lauren raised an eyebrow. “How many did you order?”

“Welcome to Seaside Cove,” Gabby answered. “Where we have one pizza shop that serves the whole town. The Sox are playing the Yankees tonight, too.”

That meant Ethan’s bar should be busy. She wondered if anyone would use the coupon she put on Instagram in one of her attempts to help his social media and marketing.

They made their way up the back stairs. Before they could turn into Gabby’s room, Brooke came barreling out of her bedroom, headset on, gesturing wildly with her arms.

“Because, Lucas, that’s how it’s done. I’m not saying you’re incompetent. I’m simply trying to explain the industry.” She noticed her sisters. “Just give me a minute here. Did you order the pizza?”

Gabby nodded.

“No, I was talking to my sisters. No, Lucas, I did not. Yes, I realize that pizza is full of carbs…”

Lauren and Gabby exchanged a look that clearly showed their disdain for the continued daily arguments between their sister and her supposed soulmate.

“He really sucks, doesn’t he?” Gabby asked as she flopped down on her unmade bed.

“At first I thought he was boring. Then I upgraded him to jerk. But after hearing Brooke’s side of their conversations, I have to change his status once again to asshole.”

“Cheers to that.” Gabby raised her soda in Lauren’s general direction.

Lauren would have toasted to the assholery of Lucas, but she was too busy taking in her sister’s bedroom. There was stuff everywhere. Clothes exploded out of the closet. Drawers were hanging open. There were scarves and necklaces hanging from multiple locations. A semi-wet towel was on the floor.

Her fingers itched to tidy up the space. Not for the first time in her life, she wished for that Mary Poppins power of snapping her fingers to clear everything up.

“You want to clean, don’t you?” Gabby asked with a grin and apparent glee in her voice.

“No, I don’t want to… Yes! Hell yes. I mean, seriously, Gabs. I know you had to move all your stuff back home, but what the hell. How do you find anything in here?”

“I know where every single thing is located, thank you very much.”

“You’re a liar,” Brooke said, breezing into the room. There was no sign of her phone or headset now, thank God. “You couldn’t find your pink flip-flops this morning.”

“How’s your beloved?” Gabby said in way of a reply.

Brooke narrowed her eyes. “Fine,” she said through gritted teeth. “Just fabulous.” She stopped in front of Gabby’s full-length mirror, removed a sock that was hanging off the corner, and checked out her reflection, turning in each direction. “Did you order veggie pizza?”

“No. I ordered extra cheese and lots of meat. And screw Lucas for making you worry.”

“He didn’t…” Brooke trailed off, clearly unable to finish the statement.

Lauren watched the exchange with sadness. Was Lucas telling Brooke she needed to lose weight? Brooke was absolutely freaking gorgeous and in perfect shape. She ran almost every day and took really good care of herself.

She might have to change her Lucas status to straight-up asshat now.

Taking pity on her sister, she decided to try and change the subject. She put her bag on Gabby’s bed. “Thanks for the impromptu girls’ night.”

Brooke pushed a pile of clothes on the floor and sat on the trunk at the end of the bed. “No problem. What’s the occasion?”

“Who cares? We’re having pizza and junk food. By the way, how’s it going with the hubby?” Gabby asked Lauren with a mischievous smile.

“Not my husband.”

“Your life partner?” Brooke suggested.

Lauren leveled a stare at her. “He’s my old friend.”

“How about your old friend with benefits?” Gabby offered.

“Kind of,” she teased. “And maybe boyfriend, too.”

Brooke and Gabby both grinned. “It’s sweet,” Brooke said.

“It’s irresponsible, considering we don’t know where our future is going,” Lauren conceded with a big sigh.

Brooke stopped studying her nails. “Trouble in paradise?”

Yes. “No. Just… I don’t know.” She pushed a hand through her hair, pretending to fluff the strands when really it was pure frustration. “Ethan is…” She couldn’t decide.

“Hot,” Gabby said.

“Funny,” Brooke added.

“Your friend from high school and the father of your unborn child.”

Lauren waved a hand in the air. “He’s all of those things. Especially hot.” They all grinned at that comment. “But he’s also spontaneous and impulsive and rash.”

Brooke faked a shocked expression. “Oh no. Not rash.”

“Shut up.” But Lauren didn’t put any real feelings behind the words. Thinking about what Ethan may or may not do in life was really making her exhausted.

Brooke leaned forward. “I know that an impetuous, reckless person is pretty much akin to a serial killer to you. But Ethan has some great qualities that should more than make up for that.”

It was true. Ethan was kind. She liked watching him at the bar, the way he interacted with people. He was so comfortable with any type of personality. And he was always himself.

He also made her laugh. Or, at least, when he wasn’t considering moving to the North Pole or wherever.

“Let’s not forget his hotness,” Gabby said.

“Anyway, I don’t feel like talking about Ethan right now.” Or herself. And she really didn’t want to talk about her feelings.

“Well, good,” Brooke said. “Because I have something better for this girls’ night.” She waited dramatically until she knew she had everyone’s attention. “I think we should go play in the attic.”

Lauren and Gabby both squealed as if they were little girls again.

Grams’s attic was an amazing place. An antique collector would definitely have a field day. There were clothes from the 1950s, records from the 1960s, an old phonograph, Grams’s wedding dress, various vases, pillows, and other knickknacks from over the years. There was a cello in one corner and an antique baby stroller in another. There was even a large spinning wheel. Lauren and her sisters used to play Sleeping Beauty with it when they were little.

The three of them ran up the stairs to the fourth floor. The dust hit them pretty hard when they first entered the room, but they didn’t care. Immediately, they started rummaging through items.

Lauren found a box with old photo albums, most of which she’d looked through countless times before. But at the bottom of the pile sat an album with a white cloth cover. As she removed it from the box, she realized it was her parents’ wedding album.

She smiled and her heart sped up, which was silly, since her parents’ marriage hadn’t been the best union. But she’d never seen this before and knew very little about it. Only that it had been a small affair here at the house.

She opened the cover to find an eight-by-ten photo of her mother in her wedding dress. Lauren’s breath caught. She had been devastated by her mother’s death, but she’d made her peace with it. Still, there were times when all those emotions came flooding back. Seeing her mom in a long ivory gown with a lace veil, wearing a hopeful smile, bright blue eyes sparkling, definitely affected her.

The gown was simple, classic. Her mother had liked nice clothes but never anything flashy.

The more Lauren studied the image, the more she saw Brooke. Out of the three of them, Brooke was the one with their mother’s elegant features.

The other thing that struck her was how young her mom looked. She had been young, Lauren reminded herself. Only nineteen years old when she’d walked down the aisle. Lauren couldn’t even imagine becoming a wife at that age. She’d always known if she ever married it would be much later in life.

Of course, her mom and dad’s circumstances had been very different. Lauren couldn’t remember how old she was exactly when she’d done the math. Her parents’ anniversary and her birthday weren’t nine or more months apart. They were only six.

One time, after her dad had left, Lauren asked her mom why she’d married him in the first place. She would never forget that her mother’s answer hadn’t been love or desire. Instead, she’d said, “I’d been urged to marry him.” At eight years old, she’d thought it was an odd answer. At thirty-three, she understood that her mom had been pregnant with her and that’s why a wedding had occurred.

Because of Grams. Grams had urged her mother to get married. She knew Grams had also “urged” her parents to get divorced.

Lauren sat back with a scowl on her face. There wouldn’t have been a divorce if Grams had stayed out of it to begin with. All the fights and the hurt could have been avoided if Grams hadn’t interfered.

She loved Grams, but she didn’t agree with what she’d done.

“What’s that?” Gabby asked, plopping down next to Lauren. She was wearing a large black hat with a huge purple feather and strings of pearls attached. To complement it, she was also wearing long gloves.

“Mom and Dad’s wedding album,” Lauren said.

Brooke came over, carrying an old baby doll that Lauren remembered had been Brooke’s favorite.

“Wow,” Gabby said. “Look at them.”

“Mom was so beautiful,” Brooke said softly.

Lauren pushed a lump down her throat. “You look just like her,” she told Brooke. The two of them exchanged a long glance, understanding between them.

“I wonder if Grams kept Mom’s wedding dress,” Gabby said, unaware of the moment between her sisters.

Lauren sat back, her gaze again on the album, drinking in the sight of her parents alive and seemingly happy. “Do you ever wonder if things between Mom and Dad would have been different if—”

Before she could say anything else, “Chapel of Love” burst out of Brooke’s phone. Lauren swallowed. The moment was over. She closed the album, Gabby removed the ugly hat and gloves, and Brooke was back to arguing with Lucas as she trudged down the stairs.

Later that night, after they’d eaten pizza and decimated Grams’s “secret” stash of ice cream, Gabby hung back. She watched Lauren with those big blue eyes of hers.

“What?” Lauren finally asked.

“Everything okay with you and Ethan?”

“Yeah, of course.” Her shoulders slumped. “I don’t know.”

Gabby nodded. “That’s what I thought. Do I need to kick his ass?”

The juxtaposition of the question with Gabby’s bouncy curls falling around her face was enough to make Lauren laugh. “You think you could take him?”

Gabby snorted. “Easy peasy. He’d go down like that.” She snapped her fingers. “I was in a play once where I had to learn karate for the part. I was a natural.”

“I have no doubt. But I don’t think I’m ready to resort to violence just yet.”

They walked onto the porch. Lauren loved being on the porch at nighttime. Fireflies flitted around the garden and trees, bringing their light to the otherwise dark yard. The sound of the ocean pounding against the beach below the cliffs roared into the wind. Some might think it was scary, but it had always soothed Lauren. She loved sleeping with her windows open, the sound of the waves lulling her to sleep.

Wind blew her hair around her face, causing a chill to creep up her spine. Lauren wrapped her arms around herself.

Gabby took it as an invitation and also wrapped an arm around Lauren. “Everything’s going to be fine, L,” she said, her voice merging with the wind and flying off into the breeze.

“I hope so.”

“I know so,” Gabby said with a squeeze.

“So many things are changing right now,” Lauren admitted. She hated not feeling in control, but a baby was a whole other level of worry. It didn’t seem to matter how many lists she made or books she read or websites she visited; she wasn’t going to be in control.

Throw in Ethan’s lackadaisical attitude, and it was enough to make her severely question everything in her life. How was she going to manage all of this? She had no doubt she could raise a child on her own. It would be hard, but she could do it. Luckily, she made a good living and had a hearty nest egg saved. She could hire help—another assistant, a nanny, a cleaning lady.

But that wasn’t the same as another parent. A partner. A dad for her child.

She could do it herself. But, for the first time, she didn’t think she wanted to.

What she really knew in her heart was that if the baby was born and she stayed in Seaside Cove, stayed with Ethan, and started a life with him, and then he up and left, she wouldn’t recover. Her mother never had. Maybe Lauren was starting to finally understand how she’d felt all those years ago.

“I’m not sure Ethan is taking this seriously. I don’t know if he’s going to be in my life or if he’s going to leave,” she whispered into the night air as much as she did to her sister.

“If you could choose for him, would you want him to stay, be a part of your life and the baby’s?”

“Yes.” The answer came fast and hard. She felt her knees weaken and was glad Gabby’s arm was still around her.

“I know you,” Gabby said. “You want what you want, when and how you want it. I always liked that about you. Plus, you didn’t screw up your life the way I did.”

“Gabs!” Lauren exclaimed.

“It’s true. I made so many mistakes, so many bad decisions. The wrong roommates, the wrong career choices, the wrong romances, the wrong people to trust.” Gabby drew her arm away and walked to the railing. She turned back to face Lauren. “Yet, I still believe things will work out for me. I don’t know how they will, or when. But someday, it will all be fine.”

While Gabby might admire Lauren’s determination in life, Lauren would always be envious of Gabby’s optimism.

“Do me a favor, L.”

“Anything.”

“Give Ethan a chance,” she said gently, giving her a hug. “He might just surprise you.”