Chapter Seventeen

She didn’t have to ask him twice.

He brought her to him and kissed her thoroughly. Their lips met and fit perfectly together. So did their bodies.

She was wearing a tank top and lounge pants. She’d tried to put her hair up in a ponytail, only it was too short, so most of it had fallen and was splayed out on the pillow in a very sexy way.

This was how he liked her best, all casual and comfy. Not that her usual parade of cute outfits and accessories wasn’t adorable. But her laying in his bed, her face clean of makeup and her hair messy, made his body react more strongly than if she was wearing some red-carpet glamour outfit.

He shifted back. “You are beautiful. Do you know that?”

Her only reply was a smile. She ran a finger over his cheek. He took that same hand and brought it to his lips. Kissed each finger before turning it over to nuzzle her palm.

“I’m so lucky you came back into my life.” He grazed his teeth playfully over her wrist. “Took you long enough to realize how awesome I am.”

She laughed. “Impatient much? We slept together my first night back in town.”

“But I’ve been crushing on you for almost twenty years now.”

That’s when Ethan realized that for more than half of his life, Lauren had been the woman he’d been measuring all other women against. He hadn’t even been aware that she’d stayed firmly rooted in his mind after they’d both left town.

It wasn’t only her beauty that attracted him. She was the whole package. Smart, with a quick wit, determined and strong. He was in awe of her ability to start a successful business. His heart melted at the fact that she dropped her life in Virginia so she could be with her family, check on them and make sure everyone was okay.

Something shifted in him at that moment. Not a different feeling. More, a realization of what he was feeling at this moment. What he had been feeling probably for a couple weeks now. Or since she’d returned to Seaside Cove two months ago.

Maybe even since high school.

He was in love with her. The recognition of that fact slammed into him like the waves crashing into the beach: strong, hard, and steady.

A deep understanding that he’d never been in love before washed over him. He’d thought he’d been. But holding Lauren in his arms as the light from the moon shone into his bedroom, taking in her sweet, rosy scent, watching her magnetic blue eyes roam over his face, made him sure that this was his first foray into love.

Gently, he pushed her back against the pillows, covered her mouth with his. His hand went to her breast, softly kneading. She moaned against his mouth, and it was the sexiest sound he’d ever heard.

His lips roamed along her jawline and down the column of her neck. She obligingly shifted so he could reach the spot that she really liked. Because he knew that nuzzling that spot got her all kinds of excited, he spent a little extra time and attention there.

Tonight, he was going to shower attention and adoration on her body. Tonight was going to be for her.

He spent time removing first her clothes and then his. He ran fingertips over every inch of her soft, supple skin. Then he followed each touch, each caress, with his mouth. From her brightly painted toes to the top of her head with all that thick, dark hair, he made sure he discovered every single inch of her.

This wasn’t like the other times they’d made love. This was more intimate somehow. He felt connected to her on every level: physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Somehow Lauren had gone from that untouchable crush in high school to a superhot, super-sexy fling to mother of his child. It felt like everything in his life was changing. He’d picked out paint for a nursery today.

But somehow, the thought of a permanent change didn’t bother him the way it usually did. Right now, with Lauren in his arms, he felt content.

For once, he didn’t have thoughts of running off to another location. In fact, he couldn’t imagine ever being anywhere else other than right here. With her.

…

Ethan decided he was going to have to stay in this bed with his limbs wrapped around Lauren for the rest of his life. Not only because it felt so amazingly good, but also because he didn’t think he would ever be able to move again.

“Mmm,” she murmured sexily against his chest.

“Happy?”

“Very. My body feels…sated,” she decided. “I never truly understood that word before. Now I totally get it.”

As did he. He ran a hand along her back, eliciting a delicate shiver from her.

“I don’t know where that came from, McAllister, but anytime you want to do that again, I’m game.”

He snuggled her closer, wishing he could tell her about his feelings. They’d shared everything tonight. It seemed appropriate. Only, Ethan wasn’t sure that he was ready to tell Lauren he was in love with her. More, he didn’t think she was quite ready to hear it.

Although, what better time than right now?

“Can I ask you something?” she said, interrupting his musing.

“Anything,” he said simply and meant it.

She pushed up and off his chest. He watched as she chewed on her lip for a moment. “It’s kinda personal.”

He pushed an errant hair behind her ear. “I think I can handle it. I’m tough.”

“How badly were you hurt by your ex-wife?”

Maybe not tough enough for that. He wondered if she felt the same change in the air as he did. If this were a movie, it would be when the soundtrack changed and the wind started blowing maniacally. Or maybe the sound of thunder would echo loudly, rattling the glass of the window.

He shifted, untangling his limbs from hers. But her hand shot out and wrapped around his, entwining their fingers. The small gesture was not lost on him. In fact, it offered great comfort.

“Long version or short?” he asked.

“Long. You’ve already given me the short version.”

“You know how I met Veronica.”

She smiled against her pillow. “Wearing a tuxedo and swirling a fancy drink while winning everyone’s money in a swanky poker game in some fancy-pants casino with leather couches and crystal chandeliers.”

He let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and what his mother called a guffaw. “I think I was wearing jeans. I know I was drinking a beer. And the poker house I liked smelled like smoke and cabbage.”

Her smile got even bigger, her dimples winked at him, and there was a certain sparkle in her pretty blue eyes.

“Go ahead,” he said. “Laugh it out.”

She squeezed his hand. “I’m not laughing. I want to hear about you and Veronica,” she prodded.

“Right.” He exhaled a long breath. “What can I say? She was gorgeous. She had that sun-kissed California look. Tall, with long, shiny blond hair and gorgeous eyes.”

“Ahem.” Lauren quirked an eyebrow.

He chuckled. “Sorry. She was beautiful, but she had nothing on you.”

Lauren settled back into the blankets and pillows. “That’s better.”

“What I did not know was…well, everything.”

“Young love is very intense,” Lauren said wisely. “And very impatient.”

He let out a mirthless laugh. “You can say that again. In any case, she talked me into marriage, but it didn’t feel like that. At the time, I was convinced it was totally my idea. And there was a layer of excitement there, too. I’d been living a very spontaneous life for a long time. Impulsive, making decisions as I went along. Felt natural.”

She rapped on his chest. “No good comes from not planning. I’m telling you.”

He grabbed her knuckles and placed a chaste kiss on them. “I think there’s probably a happy medium.”

She narrowed her eyes but remained quiet.

“Veronica and I never took the time to ask questions or get to know each other. We both assumed things. She assumed that because she met me on the night of a very big poker win that I had a ton of money.”

“And you?” she asked.

He swallowed. “I assumed she loved me.”

She rubbed a hand over his hand. Ethan didn’t want to meet her eyes because he didn’t want to see sympathy there. Or pity. But when he finally locked eyes with Lauren, he found a silent comfort.

“I won the first couple of games when we got to South America. We took those winnings and celebrated by traveling around, staying in these amazing beach locales. Private villas and champagne and moonlight swims in infinity pools that overlooked the ocean. The prices are much different in the southern hemisphere, and my dollar was going way further. Looking back, I can see how she would have thought otherwise. But then…” He ran a hand over his face.

“You stopped winning,” she supplied.

“That’s when I lost big. It was almost two years into our marriage.” His legs were restless. He kept swishing them through the tangled sheets, trying to smooth them out. “Two whole years I was with this person, and I didn’t know her at all. That still kills me.”

He felt a familiar tightening in his chest—one he’d come to associate with any thoughts about that time in his life. The truth was, Veronica wasn’t the only one to blame. He’d been too caught up in the moment to open his eyes and see what was really going on.

“In the meantime, I kept telling Veronica how I wanted her to meet my family. I wanted to bring her home to Seaside Cove and see where I was from. And I was dying to go visit her family in California. Only, she never talked about her family.”

“Why was that?” Lauren asked.

“I didn’t learn this part for a very long time. While she was in Europe, Veronica’s very wealthy father cut her off financially. That happened right before she made it to Budapest.”

“Oh, Ethan,” Lauren said softly.

Ethan twisted the sheet around his hand. “You know me. You know where I’m from.” He gestured around the room. “I’m not some wealthy, James Bond, card-playing millionaire. I had just hit a lucky streak.”

“You hit a lucky streak right when a woman needing money walked into your life.” Lauren nodded, as if she understood everything he’d been telling her.

He ran a hand through Lauren’s thick hair, giving himself the moment he desperately needed. “After the money was gone, I took odd jobs where I could find them. A lot of tourism and food service jobs.”

“And your wife?”

His answer was a raised brow followed by a slow head shake back and forth.

“Things continued to go downhill. Veronica wanted to go back to different beach towns we’d visited. She wanted a bigger apartment, more clothes, more stuff. I was making enough for us to get by, but with little left over. She suggested we return to the U.S.”

He’d actually been excited at the prospect.

Lauren scratched at her cheek. “I didn’t realize Veronica had been here in Seaside Cove.”

That news would have certainly reached her, Ethan thought. He shook his head. “No, we never made it here. I think Veronica was doing some research on her own. She wasn’t into cold weather.”

He noticed a wrinkle in her brow. “Interesting,” she said.

“She wanted to go somewhere a little more glamorous like Miami or Vegas. She even mentioned San Diego.”

“Beautiful locations,” Lauren added.

“Expensive locations.” He rubbed a hand over his jaw. He needed to shave. “I came up with a—wait for it—plan.”

She grinned.

“My parents were still living here at the time. I thought we could move into their basement and have this whole apartment set up for us with our own entrance, a kitchenette, bathroom, and all that.”

“What happened?”

“My well-thought-out suggestion was the final nail in the coffin, apparently. Veronica had had enough. She threw her wedding ring at my head, called me all kinds of fun names, and used my credit card to book a return trip to the States.”

Telling this story exhausted him. He laid back against the pillows, letting out a long sigh. He hadn’t talked about Veronica out loud in a long time. It was actually kind of nice to get all of that out in the open.

Lauren popped up, placing her head on his chest. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked.

“For telling me all of that. I know it wasn’t easy.”

No, it wasn’t easy. But it was part of his story. “Think differently of me now?” He asked the question with as much nonchalance as he could inflect in his voice, but his stomach twisted in knots, waiting for her answer.

Lauren narrowed her eyes, peering at him. “Of course I don’t,” she said.

He let out a breath.

“Ethan,” she said, shaking his shoulders. “We’ve all been through crappy situations.”

He pulled her back down so she was nestled against his chest again. “I still can’t believe how ignorant I was. How could I not see Veronica’s true intentions?”

“You were in love. That often comes with blinders.” A shadow passed over her face at the comment.

He had been in lust. He’d realized tonight what real love was, and it wasn’t the relationship he’d had with his ex.

“I’m not proud of how long it took me to realize that she was using me.”

“But you did finally realize it,” she said.

He took in a long breath. “The truth is, she wasn’t the only one to blame.”

“It usually takes two people. But, from what you’re telling me, you fell in love, and she was using you as a means to fund the lifestyle she wanted.”

“I definitely fell… I fell fast and hard,” he said. “I jumped into that relationship as if my life depended on it.” Ethan knew he was impulsive. He had liked living that way. Sometimes, he still craved it. The ability to get up and go whenever you felt like it.

His biggest regret with Veronica was that he hadn’t taken the time to get to know her. Maybe if he had, he wouldn’t have ended up divorced. He would have seen he was being used. That she didn’t have the same feelings for him.

Lauren propped her head up on her hand. “Do you think she loved you?”

He was surprised at her intuitive question. She was reading his mind.

“What?” she asked. “What’s with the funny look?”

He chuckled. “I was just thinking that same thing.” He took a long moment. “No, she didn’t love me,” he said with certainty. That confession stung more than anything else. “I think she liked me, and she was attracted to me physically. Overall, though, I was a means to an end.”

“That’s awful, Ethan,” Lauren whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

They had a wonderful night together. Now, they were sharing confidences under the light of the moon streaming through his bedroom window.

They talked for a while longer, veering away from Veronica and sharing stories of travel, interests, books, and more mundane, less emotional things. He could tell Lauren was exhausted as her words began to blend together and her eyelids started to flutter.

As it always did, thinking about Veronica left him feeling alone and empty. A lapse in judgment that he was desperate to learn from, but his biggest fear was that he would repeat the same mistake.

He eyed Lauren lying next to him on her side. He took in the outline of her curves. Watched as her breathing began to slow and she drifted off to sleep. He ran his hand lightly over her dark hair, pulled the blanket up.

He loved her. He probably always had. But back in high school, it was a teenage crush, more superficial than anything. Now, though…well, being with her physically and sharing secrets brought their relationship to a whole new level.

He liked the way she was passionate about her work. He liked how loyal she was to her family. He liked the way she listened to him with attentive eyes and focused energy, as if he was the only person in the world.

He even liked her stupid lists of rules. Well…mostly, he thought with a silent laugh.

Ethan supposed what he liked was her organized side. Hard to take fault with that, even if he personally did not alphabetize his condiments or hang his clothes based on color and occasion.

Lauren was here in his bed. That left him with a question that he didn’t want to ask. Even more, he’d give anything not to answer.

If she wasn’t pregnant, would she be with him?