Chapter Eighteen

Lauren woke up with a smile, then stretched, feeling satisfied and complete.

She turned to thank the source of that pleasure only to find Ethan’s side of the bed empty. Her chest tightened as she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. After last night, she would have loved to wake up next to him, feel the heat from his body, the sound of his deep breathing.

And if her hand just happened to fall and land on his rock-hard pecs, well, she would just have to live with that.

Pushing those thoughts away, she reached for her cell phone. Her mood lifted once again at the text message from Ethan. He had to run to the bar for some pre-brunch emergency.

Just like that, her mood went back to happy and content. She dressed, had her one cup of coffee and some toast, and left the house.

She wanted to check in on Gabby.

When she opened the door of Rose’s Café and stepped inside, she was welcomed with the fresh scent of lemon.

“Hey, Gabbykins,” she said, sidling up to the display counter. “I smell a whole bunch of lemon.”

Gabby grinned. “I may have gone a tad overboard this morning.”

“Imagine that.”

Gabby shrugged. “Grams said I could make some new things for the menu. Anything I wanted. I started with lemon-poppy muffins. Then, I moved on to lemon-blueberry scones. And for dessert, lemon bars.”

“I’ll take one of everything,” Lauren said as Grams pushed through the door that led to the kitchen. “Hi, Grams.”

“Look what the cat dragged in. I forgot what you looked like.”

Grams had made it known that she wasn’t happy Lauren was spending so much time with Ethan. And to be fair, Lauren hadn’t really meant to stay over at his house so many nights in a row.

Grams leaned on the counter and eyed her. “That tank top a size too small?” She arched an eyebrow.

Lauren looked down. She had to admit that it was a tad tight. Or maybe her boobs had started to grow. She’d definitely put on a couple pounds already. She ran a hand over the bright turquoise tank, which had previously been one of her favorite tops to wear with her corresponding ankle-length skirt. “I, uh, think I’ve put on a little weight.”

“I’ve noticed.”

She had? Lauren pulled on the bottom of her top, willing it to stretch.

“Maybe if you weren’t eating ice cream for dinner, you would be able to maintain your figure.”

Of course Grams knew that she and Gabby went into town last night.

“Although,” Grams continued, “I am happy that you spent some time with your sister, since you’re supposed to be helping her get her life in order.”

“She has been helping me, Grams,” Gabby said.

“Shh. Go help Mrs. Watzel,” Grams said to Gabby, who rolled her eyes but made her way to the cash register.

“Grams, I am doing—”

Grams stopped her with a simple hand in the air. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Ethan.”

“We’re dating.” Lauren waited for that comment to feel weird. Only, it felt completely natural coming out of her mouth.

“For how long? Are you staying in Seaside Cove longer than you planned? Because I believe you were going to go back to Virginia at the end of September.”

Lauren crossed her arms over her chest. “My plans were never set in stone.”

“It’s like you and Ethan are cooking up some kind of surprise.”

Lauren froze. She met Grams’s eyes. This would be the perfect time to tell her about the baby. She spotted Gabby watching her from the other end of the café.

Her heart started beating in overtime. She’d picked August fifth to reveal her news to Grams. That was the plan.

Yet, here she was, feeling the words traveling up her throat, ready to jump out of her mouth. Wouldn’t it be easier? She’d have it done and over with, even if Grams wasn’t going to like that her first great-grandchild was conceived out of wedlock, just like her first grandchild had been.

“Once I found out I was pregnant with Lauren, I had to get married.”

Her mother’s words from all those years ago sounded in her ears so clearly, Lauren almost looked around to see if her mother was standing there.

She wasn’t ready to be pushed into marriage. To even hear that suggestion.

She swallowed hard.

“We, um…that is…Ethan and I…”

“You’re what?” Grams thrust her chin into the air and peered at Lauren.

“We’re getting reacquainted.” She’d chickened out. Inside, Lauren deflated. You’re sticking to the plan, she said to herself. Then why didn’t she feel as good as she normally did when she followed her own agenda?

Grams waved a hand in the air. “You’ve known him your whole life. How much more do you need to know? You need to be home with your sisters.”

Lauren had had it. She grabbed the bag of treats her sister had put together for her. “I’m leaving. I have errands to run.”

Grams gave a sharp nod as Lauren made to leave. “Fine, leave. But don’t think you’re fooling me.”

Lauren turned back around. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Things between you and Ethan are a lot more serious than you are letting on.” Grams began wiping the counter. “Just don’t fall in love with him.”

Lauren watched as Grams went back to her work. She stood in place for a few moments, letting those words sink in.

Don’t fall in love with him.

When a gaggle of teenagers burst through the door, Lauren took her leave. Fall in love with Ethan? Please. Grams was just trying to get under her skin.

Before heading home, Lauren took a walk around town, snapping some photos for Instagram, and ran some errands. But she forgot to pick up more shampoo from the drug store. Then she misplaced her car keys, which took a whole half hour to find. After that, she bought the wrong kind of coffee for the house.

Despite the mistakes, she had a certain pep in her step. Lauren hated the sound of whistling, but if she didn’t, she would have been whistling quite the tune. She just felt happy. And that had everything to do with Ethan McAllister.

Don’t fall in love with him.

Lauren shook her head. She wasn’t going to fall in love. That’s not what this was about. She’d simply had a few lovely days with Ethan. That’s all.

However, as she walked from her car to the house, she started thinking about Ethan’s ex-wife. She shook her head again. She’d love to meet Veronica, who sounded just super charming. She could think of quite a few things to say to her.

Ethan said he’d felt ignorant for not realizing Veronica’s true intentions. But when you were in love with someone, it was hard to keep a clear head.

She froze in the middle of the driveway.

In essence, she’d just checked out of her life for the last two days, eschewing her normal responsibilities to play house with Ethan. She was forgetting things, too, because her head was stuck in the clouds. As she waltzed around town daydreaming about Ethan instead of staying focused on her goals.

Was she…in love with Ethan? A better question: was she losing all sense of logic and good judgment?

She loved being with Ethan. She loved when they did things for the baby together. She loved the way he actually took an interest in her job.

Don’t fall in love with him.

She bit her lip hard. No, she couldn’t love him. She needed to keep her wits about her. Look at what love did to people. Take her mother, for example, or even Brooke. Brooke loved Lucas, and she was completely losing herself to him, constantly apologizing and deferring to his every whim and giving up perfectly good carbs.

Hadn’t Ethan just given her the greatest warning story last night about the perils of falling in love? His relationship with Veronica had derailed his entire life and he’d ended up divorced and broke and hurt.

No, she would not allow herself to fall in love with him. She would retain her independence. She would not get hurt.

Quickly, she dashed into the house and up to her room, where she dropped off her stuff. Then, she ran back to her car. Without thinking, she drove straight to The Thirsty Lobster.

She pushed through the front door with force, just like she had her first night back in town when she ran straight into Ethan. She would have taken a moment to laugh about that, but she was on a mission.

“Hey, Lauren,” Joe called from behind the bar.

She mumbled a hello. At least, she thought she had. Hard to tell when she was too busy looking for Ethan. Her gaze darted around the room.

Finally, she went straight to the bar. “Ethan?” she asked.

Joe gave her a funny look. “He’s in his office. Go on back.”

Without delay, she crossed the bar. She’d been in Ethan’s office once before. As far as offices went, it wasn’t a particularly inviting one. It was a dark, tiny space that held a desk, a filing cabinet, and little else.

She rapped her knuckles against the door right before entering. Ethan sat behind the desk, his eyes glued to something on the computer. A mound of papers was scattered across his desk, and there were two empty glasses next to him. Her fingers shook with the desire to organize everything.

“Well, hey,” he said with a genuine smile when he looked up. “You look gorgeous. I love that blue.”

Lauren knew that blue was his favorite color and maybe, perhaps—it may just have been possible—that she chose this outfit based on that preference.

Just like you would do for someone you loved, she thought. Dammit.

Unaware of what was happening in her head, Ethan continued. “I didn’t expect to see you, but I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Hi.”

Now what? She hadn’t gotten that far in her mind. As she tried to figure out what to say—especially when she had no idea how she even felt, she said, “I just saw Grams at the café.”

“I heard,” he said, coming out from behind the desk and propping a hip on the front.

“You heard? How… Oh, right. Seaside Cove.”

“Seaside Cove,” he agreed. “Wendy came over to tell me that you and Grams were fighting this morning. What was that about?”

She waved her hand nonchalantly through the air. “I’m fat now, apparently.”

Ethan tilted his head to one side and then the other as he took her in. He wiggled his eyebrows. “You’re looking good from this angle. But maybe you should come closer so I can give you a more thorough exam.”

She batted him in the chest. “Shut up. Anyway, Grams has never been particularly tactful when it comes to me, but I kind of got the distinct impression that she’s starting to get suspicious.”

Ethan raised one brow. “Then maybe it’s time to tell her you’re pregnant. I mean, I know it’s not August—”

“Fifth,” she supplied.

“Right, whatever.”

“Oh, PS,” Lauren continued. “I actually have gained a little weight.”

Lauren was trying to steer the conversation away from telling Grams. She wasn’t sure how she expected Ethan to react, but it certainly wasn’t with a huge grin.

“What?” she asked, amusement in her voice.

“Are you telling me that you’re showing?” He closed the gap between them and reached for the bottom of her tank top. “Let me see. Let me see.”

Again, she batted his hand away. “No, get out of here. I’m not showing, per se. I just look like I ate an entire Thanksgiving dinner. All by myself.”

“I want to see our little baby turkey.”

She couldn’t deny Ethan’s extreme excitement. She wasn’t that mean. Lauren pulled up her top and rolled her eyes. “I told you. Nothing to see.”

Ethan placed a hand over her stomach, lightly rubbing.

“No bump,” she said. “At least, not yet.”

One hand remained on her stomach. The other came up to capture the back of her neck. He pulled her to him and pressed his lips to hers. Softly, slowly, he kissed her as if she was the most delicate flower that he didn’t want to blow away in the wind.

“It’s amazing,” he said when he pulled back.

She met his eyes and felt herself tumbling fast down some imaginary hill. She knew what was at the bottom, too. Love City.

Her palms began to sweat. She wondered if Ethan noticed. “Is it hot in here?” she asked.

“Not particularly.”

Great. It was just her feeling like the walls were closing in on them. She couldn’t even meet Ethan’s eyes as her anxiety began to climb.

As usual, she did the opposite of what Grams said. It had always been that way between the two of them. Grams said to go right; Lauren went left. Grams said not to fall in love and…

Shit.

She’d fallen in love.

What was worse was that she’d fallen in love without a plan. There was a baby to consider. There was a whole geography situation to figure out. There was childcare and maternity leave and navigating a romantic relationship with a former friend.

She hadn’t set any rules, any boundaries.

Ethan put a finger under her chin, lifting her face so he could look into her eyes. “I feel like that brain of yours just went into overdrive. What’s going on in there?” He tapped the side of her head.

“Nothing. It’s just—” Something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye.

A blue overnight bag rested on the floor. It looked like it was filled to the brim. Ethan’s jacket was thrown across the top of it, along with his sunglasses, wallet, and iPad.

His eyebrows drew together as he studied her. “What’s wrong?”

“Uh…nothing.”

He put a finger under her chin, raising her head so she was forced to meet his worried gaze. “Are you okay?”

She pointed toward the bag. “Is that…” Was he leaving? Had he planned on telling her?

“Huh?” He looked confused for a moment. “Oh, my bag.”

“Are you going somewhere?” she asked, her voice sounding small and weak.

He sat back on the edge of the desk. “That’s why I’m so glad you’re here. I didn’t think I’d get to see you before I leave.”

Just like that? He was taking off.

“Remember my friend Bobby?” Ethan began. He was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. “Hang on one sec.”

Of course Lauren remembered Ethan’s friend who wanted him to move to Alaska. How could she forget? So, Bobby was in on this. What a shock. He must have convinced Ethan to move to Alaska.

Lauren stepped toward the file cabinet and put a hand there to steady herself as her legs had suddenly started feeling weak. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She realized she was in love, and Ethan was leaving.

Her chest felt so tight, yet at the same time, her pulse was racing. How could this be happening? Maybe if she’d figured out her own wayward feelings a day earlier and told Ethan, he wouldn’t… No, she couldn’t think that way. Besides, she didn’t want him to stay because he felt obligated. She wanted him to stay because…because…

She loved him. She wanted him to love her, too.

“Sorry about that.”

Her head snapped up at the sound of Ethan’s voice.

He put his phone in his back pocket. “It’s been a wild, unexpected morning.”

Since she didn’t know how else to respond, she simply nodded.

“I ran home to throw some stuff in a bag,” he said, gesturing toward the bag on the floor. “I was bummed you weren’t there.”

“Yeah, well, I went to the café.” She couldn’t believe her voice was coming out so calmly when she felt like she was a second away from hyperventilating. “To once again be ridiculed by Grams.” She offered a smile but knew it didn’t stretch across her face.

“Hey, Ethan,” Joe said, popping his head in the door. “Sorry to interrupt, but you wanted me to remind you.” Joe tapped his watch.

“Right, thanks, Joe. You sure you can handle everything here?”

“Not a problem. We all have your back.”

Lauren couldn’t believe it. Ethan wasn’t only leaving her, he was leaving his staff, this bar. She felt the air leave her lungs. He’d told her that he had hired trustworthy people who were good workers. She supposed that was as good a play as Ethan could make.

He ran a hand through his hair. “I told you. It’s been nuts.” He leaned over and shut his computer down. Then he came to stand in front of her again.

Here it came. The excuse. The platitudes.

It’s been great, Lauren, but I gotta go.

My inner traveling child has been restless.

Nothing to keep me here.

Well, she’d be damned if she stood here and listened to any of it.

“Let me tell you—”

She took a quick step back and bumped into the wall. “No, don’t worry about it.” She chucked a thumb toward the door where Joe had just been. “Seems like you’re late.”

“Lauren,” Ethan began, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shook her head. “You don’t have to tell me anything. You should go.” She reached down and grabbed his wallet and keys, handed them to him. “I have things to do as well.”

Love was scary. Love was unpredictable. Love didn’t always turn out the way you thought it would.

She didn’t want to lose Ethan. That was her biggest fear right now. She didn’t want him to take off on her. She didn’t want to go back to Virginia. She wanted the two of them to be together with the baby. With each other.

But Ethan was leaving. Because that’s what Ethan did.

“But I want to tell you. Bobby called with the coolest offer. I couldn’t believe it.”

She really didn’t want to listen to this. Suddenly, she felt exhausted, and all she wanted was to go back home and curl up in her bed.

She’d been the one protecting herself for most of her life. She’d been in charge. For the last couple of weeks, it had been so nice to have Ethan make her feel like she was finally part of something. But she shouldn’t have believed. She let her guard down.

There was another quick knock at the door, and Joe once again stuck his head in. “Sorry again, guys. Ethan, I have one question about the inventory before you leave.”

“Of course.” Ethan started walking out of the office. He held out an arm for Lauren to follow, which she did. Only, when Ethan went behind the bar to talk with Joe, Lauren kept walking until she was out on the sidewalk in front of The Thirsty Lobster.

Slowly, as sadness filled her entire body, she made her way back home. Alone.