Chapter Sixteen

Jeremy watched through the living room window as Camilla drove up the driveway. He strained to see her face as she got out of the vehicle.

She was crying.

She closed the car door and hurried to the house. Jeremy quickly went to the front door to greet her. He hoped and prayed his dear wife had been able to talk to her mother and find out some answers to questions about her birth that had been so troublesome to her. It would be devastating if she hadn’t.

Jeremy opened the door and Camilla immediately fell into his open arms.

“Oh, Jeremy, she’s gone…” was all Camilla could say before bursting into tears.

Jeremy held her tight and rubbed her back consolingly. Tears surfaced to his eyes in sympathy. “It’s okay, honey, it will all be okay.”

Slowly he turned her towards the stairs and together they walked up the small flight into the living room. Once there, Jeremy turned towards her again and drew her tenderly into his chest.

Slowly, Camilla’s weeping subsided and Jeremy gently asked, “Were you able to talk to her…?”

“Y…yes,” Camilla said between sobs. “She was in a coma when I got there. Two of her friends were in the room. I remember one from Father Engelmann’s anniversary party, Eddy’s bride’s sister. Her name is Matilda. The other was Jenny’s niece, Chloe. Oh, Jeremy, it was so painful to see my mother lay there waiting to die. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to speak to her or for her to see me. I prayed so hard for her to wake up…even if it were for but a moment. But she just lay there. We all were watching her chest slowly rise and fall. There were no monitors so it was the only way to tell if she was still alive from one second to the next.”

“It must have been so hard for you, Camilla…”

“But then your dad came in. I said hello to him but he was so transfixed on Jenny lying there he hardly knew I or anyone else was in the room. He immediately went to her side and held her hand. The love between them was so strong, Jeremy. I thought for sure he was my real father. Who else could it be? Then he got up and kissed her forehead. It was all so emotional…a light seemed to surround them; the love between them was so strong. And then her eyes flickered… we all held our breath. Even the nurse on duty gasped… I heard her mutter…’unbelievable’

“Jenny opened her eyes as if searching for the one who had kissed her and when her gaze locked with your father’s, the aura around them brightened even further.

“It was supernatural, Jeremy… I can’t explain it.”

“Geez…” Jeremy slowly shook his head.

“It made me think even more that Henry was my biological father. Only my real dad would love my mother that way.”

Camilla broke loose from Jeremy and took a tissue out of her sweater pocket and blew her nose.

“What happened next was unbelievable, honey. Jenny asked to be kissed… that was her constant prayer to her angel over the years. They both were wearing pewter angels around their necks. I think they were gifts that they had given to each other. It was all so beautiful how the angels sparkled and touched one another and when Henry and Jenny kissed each other, it was as if time stood still. We all were so swept up into that moment of love; as if we were all at one with these two lovers. It was so tender, so loving, so beautiful, Jeremy…” Camilla broke into tears again.

“You said she was gone…what did you mean? It sounds like she was alive and still is.”

“Just moments after they kissed, she talked about me and that I was a part of her daily prayer to her guardian angel to see me and be re-united with me. It was then I rushed to her side and told her that I was her daughter. We looked at each other for the longest moment. I could see myself in her. I knew I had found myself and where I came from. I knew she was feeling the same thing. I wanted to kiss her and hug her and be hugged by her. I wanted that for so many years…It was such a happy moment, but I knew it wouldn’t last…”

“What do you mean, honey?” Jeremy wanted to know.

“When I looked into her eyes there was such love, yet an unexplainable sorrow. She knew that she was being pulled away. Both your dad and I could immediately sense this power. It was greater than the both of us. Try as we might to keep her with us we could feel her slipping away. I could feel your dad tighten his grip around her hand as I was holding it, too. I never prayed so hard at that moment… and then, she slipped away…”

Camilla looked up into her dear husband’s eyes. She shook her head from side to side and brought her hands up and formed them into fists and cried, “It was too much for me to bear. To see my biological mother for just a few minutes and the thought that Henry was my real father and that you were my bro…”

Camilla couldn’t finish. She buried her head into Jeremy’s chest and sobbed uncontrollably.

Jeremy was at a loss for words. He tenderly held her and rubbed her back as soothingly as he could, wondering if it was true: was Henry Camilla’s father?

Slowly Camilla regained some composure to go on. “I ran out of the room and was going to come home but Matilda, Eddy’s wife’s sister…” Camilla gazed into Jeremy’s eyes for confirmation that he knew who she was talking about.

He nodded and Camilla went on.

“She called out to me as I was running down the hallway and took me into the waiting room. She sensed what I was concerned about and wanted to explain what she knew about my birth. She thought Jenny would do that, but under the circumstances since Jenny had died, she felt obligated to inform me of my past.”

“Well…is it Dad…?”

“No, it’s not your dad… thank God…”

“Well, then who?”

“Matilda is almost one hundred percent sure that it is Peter, the man that also was at Father’s anniversary.”

“Yes, I remember him; he was Eddy’s best man, right?”

“Yes, but what seemed to confirm it for certain was when Jenny’s niece came out and sat with us. She explained it all. She told me that one evening when Jenny and your dad went out to a movie, they were confronted by a group of boys on their way home. The boys overpowered your father and took Jenny to the park…”

Camilla couldn’t go on… “Oh Jeremy, I hope it’s okay with you…”

“Honey, there is nothing that would ever stop me loving you…”

Hesitantly, and gently he asked, “Was your mother assaulted by Peter?”

Camilla couldn’t answer, she just nodded.

Jeremy pulled her in. “Oh, Camilla, I love you so much. I am so happy you were conceived… It was clearly not the most desirable way for it to have happened, but it did and I am the luckiest guy in the world to have you.”

“Oh, Jeremy, I love you so much too.”

Jeremy drew back and held Camilla by the shoulders as he gazed lovingly into her cerulean blue eyes. He raised his hand and brushed a tear rolling down her cheek. He moved his head from side to side to stress how very much he loved her. “Camilla, I love you with all my heart,” he said once more, as he gently drew her close again and tenderly kissed his dear sweet wife’s forehead. They held each other tightly for the longest time. Camilla rested her head on Jeremy’s shoulder, as he broke the tender moment and said, “I’m so glad those two ladies were there to explain it all to you. Dad would call that God’s divine providence, for sure.”

“Yes, it is amazing how this all turned out…if only Mom wouldn’t have died, it would have been so wonderful. The ladies were so supportive and understanding. God couldn’t have placed me in more consoling hands. They were like two angels. And the way Matilda spoke of Peter was so kindly and uplifting. She said he was such a nice man when she talked to him at Father’s anniversary. She said that he seemed to know who I was and that he dreamt of me, wishing he could find me and know me… She said he was filled with so much feeling and love. She could tell that it came from his heart.

“Chloe, Jenny’s niece, said too that the boys had been drinking and not in control of their senses. Even though that certainly doesn’t excuse what they did. Chloe added that Jenny, my Mom, had completely forgiven Peter. Mom wanted only beautiful memories surrounding my birth. And Jeremy, I feel the same. I feel no ill will towards him… perhaps I should.”

“No honey, your feelings are being true to you. I don’t understand how a man could do that…even if he was young and drunk, it makes me mad just thinking about it. You know I love you, Camilla, it doesn’t take that away. It was wrong what Peter did and it’s not every woman who could forgive someone who did that to her. It must have been very hard for your mother to forgive, but it seems that by forgiving, she was freed from the past and any resentment in her heart. I am so glad that you can feel that freedom in your heart as well.”

“I am worried about Dad. He seemed so filled with despair when Jenny died. His entire world seemed to collapse. I must have talked at least an hour with Matilda and Chloe and he still was in the room with her. I wonder if he’s worried about me that maybe I think he is my father. Oh, Jeremy, I have to call him and see if everything is okay and explain it all to him.”

“I love you so much Camilla, I am so happy you were able to see your mom, even if it was for only a few minutes. Lifetimes can be lived in precious moments like that.”

Camilla nodded and forced a smile. She dried her eyes and went to the phone. There was no answer at the farm, so she called the gallery. Justin said they hadn’t seen their father all day. He was gone even before they got up. Justin gave Camilla the phone number to the house on Hill Avenue where he seemed to spend so much time. Camilla called there and let it ring until the call disconnected. As a last resort she called the hospital and finally was able to get through to palliative care. Fortunately Nurse Johnson was still on duty.

“Hello, Ms. Johnson, this is Camilla, Jenny Hamilton’s daughter…”

“Yes, how are you doing, Camilla?”

“I am doing better. I’m at home and my husband is with me.”

“Oh, that’s good. We need the love and support of our family and loved ones at times like this.”

“Is Dad, I mean Henry still there…? do you recall who—?”

“Oh, yes, I know Henry. No, he left well over an hour ago.”

“How was he when he left, did you see him?”

“Yes, we had a chat both in the room where Ms. Hamilton was and later when he left. He fell asleep for over an hour. I woke him up from a dream he was having. I think the rest did him good. It seemed to revive him, somewhat.”

“That’s good to hear. He seemed filled with such anguish and despair when Jenny died. I am worried about him.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation he seemed to be in better spirits when he left. He seemed to know where he was going and what he wanted to do and yet… he did act sort of strange when he walked away from me towards the elevator… People sometimes do strange things in circumstances like this. Try to find him and perhaps spend the evening with him.”

“Yes, I understand what you mean. We will keep checking around for him. Thank you so much for your time and for also being with us during my Mom’s last moments.”

“Camilla, I was so fortunate to be with you and the others. It all so touched my heart.”

Camilla hung up and turned to Jeremy. “Your dad seemed so despondent when I was there, like he would do anything to be with Jenny. He should have been at one of those places I called. You don’t suppose he would do something… to himself?”

“God, no, Camilla. Dad would never harm himself…”

Just then the phone rang, startling the wits out of both of them. Jeremy looked at Camilla with fearful eyes and then rushed to the phone.

It was Justin.

“Slow down, Justin. I can’t understand you.” Jeremy looked at Camilla. Her face and entire body language screamed desperately towards her husband.

“What did Justin say?”

“He’s crying so hard I can’t understand him, Camilla…the police just called… I think it’s something to do with Dad…”