Chapter Thirty Five

It was early on the estate. Never would James have thought that he would find himself out in the garden shortly after the sun came up. He had to admit the atmosphere was ethereal… there was a peace and freshness about the early morning that he never knew. It calmed and lifted his spirits at the same time. He was certain that he could even smell the fragrance of the budding flowers and shrubs in the air. Had he only known this healing therapy when he was running the business, he could have been out here every morning before venturing into the corporate jungle. Maybe then, he would have avoided the sickness he had now.

It was interesting to James how life worked. How in spite of ourselves we are forced to slow down and reflect on the direction of our lives. It’s a good thing, as he knew for certain that he would have lived and died like his father before him. Thomas would say that God had a hand in all this. James wondered about God. Was there really a higher power out there?

What is it that Thomas believes?

There was something spiritual about the man that drew James to him. It had been the same with Marjorie, only with her it seemed to come through nature, her flowers, her garden, her angel, her need for solace and quietness.

James smiled; she probably needed something to put up with me and all my antics. While God revealed Himself to Jenny through nature, with Thomas it was harder to tell. He certainly loved the garden and nature as much as Marjorie, but he seemed to derive that deep sense of peace from something else. Whatever it was, it reflected in his attitude and overall disposition and demeanor. He was definitely a man of faith. James recalled seeing Thomas’s Bible in the tool shed. Every now and then James would catch Thomas reading the book during his break. He wondered if this was Thomas’s extra source of inspiration. Could printed words have the same affect on a person as nature does?

James knew of the Bible, but he had never opened one. He knew it was about some man named Jesus, but didn’t have a clue what He did. Perhaps he would venture over to the shed and read Thomas’s Bible to see what was in it. In the same way he wanted to capture Jenny’s spirit and her love of the garden, James was now interested in seeing what motivates his gardener, as well.

James made his way over to the tool shed. If he was going to peek inside Thomas’s book, he would have do it quickly as his employee came in early. James often thought Thomas’s love for nature was so strong that he would do his work on the estate for free. As James turned the corner on the path leading to the shed, Thomas was already there gathering some of the tools he would need for the day and putting them into a wheelbarrow.

“Good morning, James,” said Thomas as he looked up at his employer coming towards him. “Another fine morning.”

“Yes, it is, Thomas. I see you’re early.”

“Seems my cycle is in tune with the sun. I retire shortly after the sun goes down and most times I’m up early enough to greet the sun when it peeks over the horizon.”

“I have to say, there is something special about the mornings.”

“It’s God’s time, James… is there anything you would have me do?”

“To be frank, Thomas, I was wondering if I may have a read in your Bible. I forgot my reading material at the house…”

“It’s not in the best of shape. It’s covered with soil and what not, but you’re welcome to peruse it if you wish. Let me get it for you.”

Thomas went into the shed and quickly returned. He handed the well used Bible to James. Normally, James would never touch something that was covered with dirt and looked soiled, but James quickly reached out and accepted the Bible.

“Thank you, Thomas, I’ll return it shortly.”

“Take your time, sir.”

James stood there wanting to say something else, but was hesitant. The perceptive gardener however, was quick to read his employer.

“Seems to me there is something else on your mind, Mr. — James.”

“As a matter of fact, there is… I’m going to be calling Marjorie shortly to see how she liked the flowers and to see how she is doing. I have to admit, I’m not much good at this sort of thing and she may find it unusual for me to be calling after our divorce…” James’ words trailed off… He wasn’t sure how to say what he wanted his employee’s advice on.

Once again, Thomas was quick to read his employer. “Why don’t we sit down and chat about it for a bit. My start time isn’t for another hour and a half.”

Thomas went into the shed and brought out two five gallon pails and inverted them on the sidewalk. “They’re not fancy chairs, James, but sometimes I prefer these over an overstuffed chesterfield… especially when the conversation is good.”

James hesitated for but a moment and then sat down on the makeshift chair.

“So, what’s on your mind, James?”

“What should I say, Thomas? I rarely spoke with Marjorie towards the end and now out of the blue I would like her back. She won’t believe me. What can I do to convince her of my sincerity?”

Thomas thought for a moment and then said, “There is one thing I think would please Miss Jenny and get her attention—”

“What Thomas? Tell me.” James sat straighter and leaned towards the gardener his eyes growing wide. Even his ears seemed to bend towards what Thomas was about to utter. James fully expected something profound. He knew Thomas was an educated and well read man who chose a line of work that did not reflect his intellectual abilities and aptitudes. But what the humble man said before him was something James would never have realized on his own, or given it any consideration as being important.

“It has to do with her name, James.”

“Her name…?”

“Yes, the name she prefers to be called by; Jenny rather than Marjorie. A person’s name is very important. It’s the way they are addressed for their life time. To a large degree, it is a huge part of one’s identity—”

James still wasn’t really listening and cut Thomas off. “When we courted, I used to call her Jenny and Jen but once married I wanted her to go by her first name. It sounds more sophisticated and legal. Don’t you agree?”

“Yes, when signing a document one must sign by their birth name but that happens so seldom. It’s true, for the most part we go by our first name but on occasion we give someone a nickname or a name they prefer to be called.”

Thomas gazed at James and then said, “I have to admit, James, I do prefer Jenny. Both Marjorie and Jenny are beautiful names, but perhaps I am partial to that name since it’s what Miss Jenny prefers… and I desire to please her. It would be the same if I called you Jimmy when you preferred James. Out of respect and consideration for your feelings, I would oblige you.”

And before James could butt in again, Thomas reinforced his reasoning with a real life example. “I recall the day you brought Miss Jenny to the estate. What a lovely bride she was! I could see such joy in her eyes. You introduced me to her as Marjorie Hamilton and she came right up to me, shook my hand and said, ‘Please call me Jenny.’ If I remember correctly, you immediately said to me, ‘no, it’s Marjorie,’ and turned to your wife and corrected her as well.

“Instantly, James, the sparkle and joy in Miss Jenny’s eyes went out.” Thomas was going to add more but he was now bordering on judging his employer and didn’t want to cross the line. He hoped James would understand.

James studied Thomas, it was an astute observation. It made James think of later that evening before Jenny and he retired. The issue was brought up again by Marjorie. He recalled how angry he was with his wife for being so foolish and not seeing his point of view.

“See, it’s amazing how you see things, Thomas. For most of my life I never bothered to look at things from the other person’s point of view. It’s always my way or the highway… you know, I never did look into Marj…Jenny’s eyes and notice that. In fact, I rarely took notice of Jenny’s feelings… Yes, her eyes could have revealed a lot to me if I had taken the time… if I had even understood…” James’ words trailed off and then suddenly he blurted, “Thanks Thomas, I shall put that into practice at once! And by the way, were you able to locate some lilacs… surely there are places that are warm all year round.”

“Actually James, lilacs need a cold spell in order for them to flower. So we searched in areas that have a cold or winter season. Fortunately, spring came early in Minnesota this year. Some white and purple lilacs are being shipped directly to the florist shop in Regina that delivered the wildflowers to Miss Jenny.”

“That’s wonderful, Thomas. If only my CEO’s were that efficient! So, lilacs need the cold treatment, do they?”

“Yes, sir.”

“There’s a lot to this flowering business.”

“I’m learning more all the time about God’s creation.”

“Thanks for your time, Thomas, much appreciated. I thought I would give Marj—I mean, Jenny a call first thing before it gets too busy in the hospital.”

James got up and as he turned and was about to make his way back to the house, Thomas said, “Oh, James, here’s the Bible, if you’re still interested.”

James looked at Thomas, and nodded, “Yes, Thomas, I am.”

The book was soiled and well used. James studied the Bible for a moment and took it from the gardener. He slowly turned and walked away.

Jenny was awakened by one of the maintenance men installing a telephone in her room. Shortly after Camilla left, she decided to have a nap. She was up most of the night and knew a busy day lay ahead.

“Sorry to wake you, Ma’am,”

“That’s fine. I see you’re installing a phone. That’s wonderful.”

“Yes, we had several calls from your husband and he was adamant we install the phone first thing even if it took the erection of telephone posts to do so. He sure is anxious to speak with you.”

Jenny smiled and softly muttered, “Oh, that James.”

No sooner had his name left her lips than the phone rang.

“I bet you dollars to doughnuts, that’s your hubby calling.”

Jenny didn’t know how to respond to that remark. Hesitantly, she reached for the phone as the hospital maintenance man left.

“Hello…”

“Hi Marjorie, it’s James…”

Oh my gosh, the maintenance man would have won his bet!

Jenny was so startled to hear her former husband’s voice, she couldn’t reply. The mention of her name as “Marjorie” gritted her and memories flashed through her mind of how much she wished James would call her Jenny. But in all of the years of their marriage, never once did he give her the pleasure of being addressed as Jenny. James must have sensed Jenny’s feelings and read her thoughts as he blurted out…

“I’m sorry, Marj—I meant to say, Jenny.”

It sounded stiff and deliberate and yet Jenny appreciated the effort and consideration of her feelings…

“Thank you, James—”

“Did you get my flowers?”

“Yes, yes, I did, James. They’re lovely—”

“Did the florists send the kind you liked? I can have them changed.”

“No, they’re lovely, James! So many wildflowers… I’m so glad you remembered that I like wildflowers.”

“More are on the way, Mar—Jenny. I’m going to consult with Thomas to see what other ones he would recommend. He knows all the flowers you like.”

“Oh, James, the ones you sent are enough, they barely fit into the room. The room is so full of them it’s like walking in a meadow… it’s so thoughtful of you.”

“So what’s going on? First they tell me you had died and now you have come back to life and are fully recovered? Did they make some kind of mistake? Doctors make errors all the time, you know.”

“No, the doctors here are fantastic, James. Apparently I did pass on and miraculously, I recovered. The medical staff is in awe over what happened… it was truly a miracle.”

“It’s hard to believe, but I’m very pleased that it turned out that way. I’ll be calling J.J. to let him know. I’m sure he will be very happy to learn of the news, as well.”

“Oh yes, please call J.J. and please have him call me. I miss him so much. And I would love to visit with Nora and little Jimmy. How is my grandson doing?”

“Well, that’s what I was calling about, too, Jen.” James hesitated for a moment and decided to come right out and say what was on his mind.

“It would be good for us all to be a family again. I’ve had Thomas fix up the garden exactly the way you like it. I even commissioned another angel statue… its almost identical to the one you have, except for the basket… it’s in the left hand whereas your statue is holding the basket in the right. It’s a long story how that happened but anyway, everyone would welcome your return. I know the staff—”

“Oh, James, it’s wonderful for you to consider that but, but… it’s too late for that. I have moved here to be with my daughter and start up a new life. I love my home… oh my, I sold my home…” Jenny suddenly realized.

“See, that’s an omen, Jenny. It was never meant to be. Your home is here, back in Ottawa with your family. J.J. will come around, I’ll see to that. You can see your grandson here—”

“Oh, James… it does sound wonderful for us to be a family, but I can’t… I need time to sort all this out. It’s so amazing that I am even having this discussion with you. My illness had so consumed me that I thought for certain I would be gone and never to return to my home… it’s all so…so, up in the air. Like I am floating in limbo somewhere…homeless!”

“You’re not homeless, Mar—Jenny. Your home is here and I would like for us to try again… I’m changing, Jenny. Actually, a good thing has come out of my illness. It’s forced me to slow down and smell the roses. Something you had encouraged me to do over the years. Well, things have happened and I see what you enjoyed on the estate and… incredibly I have come to like everything that you liked so much when you were here. You, were… you were right, Jenny.”

Jenny could barely believe her ears. Was this her former husband speaking? Was this the James that she knew and was married to?

Was it all a front of some kind?

Yet, he seemed sincere. Matti also said that he was changing and how much more relaxed things were on the estate. And for him to ask was humbling for him… James was such a proud man… it was so nice of him to call me.

Jenny was at a loss for words.

“What do you say, Mar—Jen? It won’t be like before—”

“Oh, James, it’s too late. I like it here and it’s not just my daughter… there is also someone—”

“Listen, Jenny, don’t give me your answer now. You have been through a lot and recovered somehow… I don’t understand it all and you need time to let everything get back to normal. I’ve asked Dr. Reiner to visit you. He’s flying to Regina today and wants to examine and talk to you about your near death experience. He’s done a lot of research in that area. I’ll call you tonight and we will talk again.”

“Yes, we can talk again, James, but to come back is something that can’t be poss…” Jenny’s words trailed off. She didn’t want to hurt James. He was trying so hard and this was such a giant step for him to get out of his self-centered world. Jenny didn’t want to discourage him and yet she didn’t want to encourage him to think that she would even consider coming back to the estate.

“James, please listen to me, I don’t want to build up your hopes in any way—”

“Don’t say another word, Jenny. Just think about it. You can be back on the estate surrounded by all the things you enjoy. I’ll have your Angel of Thanksgiving statue shipped back right away. What a sight it will be to have them side by side. I’ll even build a glass dome over part of the garden so you can enjoy the wildflowers all year around… and J.J., just think about him. He doesn’t realize it Jenny, but he needs you… we all need you. The staff here will be ecstatic when they hear you are coming back—”

Just then the florist, that delivered the wildflowers late yesterday afternoon, stood at the doorway.

“Excuse me James; there is someone at the door…”

“We have more flowers for you, Ma’am.” The man turned and held the door as two other ladies each brought in a bouquet of white and purple lilacs.

“Oh, more flowers, the lilacs are so beautiful… are these from yo—”

“Did the lilacs come, Marj?” James hollered excitedly into the phone so loudly Jenny was still able to hear him as her hand rested with the receiver on her bed.

“Yes, James, the lilacs just arrived. How did you manage to get some at this time of the year?” Jenny wanted to know.

“We put out a search party for them, Jenny. Hope they are fresh.”

“Yes, they are beautiful. I love both colours. I usually see the purple ones but the white are so lovely, too!”

“Well, there’s more where those came from—”

“No, this will be fine. There isn’t room for any more.”

“Did you know that in order for lilacs to bloom they need to have been subjected to a period of cold weather?”

“I think I may have read about that at one time.”

“When Thomas told me that earlier this morning it made me think of something… it’s kind of corny, Jenny…”

There was a moment of silence and then James spoke, “Well, it made me think of myself in a way; how cold I have been and so hard to live with. And yet, if a cold winter is needed to make a flower come to life, perhaps there is some hope for me…”

Jenny was speechless. That was one of the most beautiful things James had ever said to her, but…but…

“What you just said, James, touches my heart and I don’t want to hurt you, but I just can’t come—”

“Jenny, please don’t answer now. Just think on it, Jenny. It will all be great! I’ll call you later.”

James hung up and the line went silent.

Deadly quiet.

Oh, James, can’t you see it’s all too late for this.

Jenny held the phone receiver for the longest moment and hung up. The only thing that made some sense in that entire conversation was the part that related to her son, J.J. She did want to improve her relationship with him so much. Perhaps going back would do that. J.J. could see that it wasn’t her doing that the marriage failed. James seemed so willing to clear that matter up now. And then there was Nora and her grandchild. It was always Jenny’s desire to have a beautiful family that loved and cared for one another. Right now we’re all so torn apart and distant.

But I love Henry and Camilla and my life in Regina and my home…

“Yes, what about my home?” Jenny murmured.

I no longer have a home!

Jenny reached up and clutched her pewter angel. Oh dear guardian angel help me to deal with all these matters so everything turns out for the good.