Chapter Sixty Two

I suppose you will never guess who this is calling?”

“I know exactly who this is. I can still remember that spellbinding conversation we had at the estate prior to marrying James. Hi Nancy, it’s so nice to hear from you!”

“I was a bit concerned about phoning since we’ve lost touch over the years. When I realized that things were not going well with you and James, I decided to withdraw and mind my own business. However, in retrospect, I don’t think that was such a good idea on my part. Perhaps if I had meddled more or been more supportive of you, the marriage might very well have worked out.”

There was a lull in the conversation. Jenny could tell that James’ mother was finding it hard to speak. Where is this going, Jenny wondered?

“I suppose you are wondering why after almost ten years I am calling?”

“It is crossing my mind, Nancy. Is it about James?” Jenny offered, trying to help open up the conversation.

“Yes, as a matter of fact it is. Do you recall when we spoke at our Manor about James and his background?”

“Absolutely, I remember almost the entire conversation. You had me sitting on the edge of my chair the entire time. That’s why I recognized your voice so quickly. I think I must have recalled what you said over a thousand times…”

“I can only imagine it was to try and find some justification for having married into this family. The Hamilton men are a tough bunch, Marjorie. They wear an iron clad shield around them and don’t let too many people enter into their lives. I never was able to with Jim. We had a relationship that was all surface…very businesslike and never showed emotion and rarely affection. I think I told you at the time that James followed very closely in his father’s footsteps and there was something else I mentioned—”

“I think I know what you are going to say, Nancy. I found it strange at the time, but you said that I have a loving heart, something which James is not used to. As you explained more of James and the family background that day I began to understand what you meant.”

“Yes, that’s right, Marjorie and I’m sure over the years of living with James, that insight was confirmed over and over. I can only imagine how difficult living with James at times must have been for you. I can say that because I too had to undergo a major adjustment to try and understand and accept Jim. It’s not easy living with a stone.”

Jenny was somewhat taken back by the analogy, yet had to admit that the metaphor was accurate.

“I recall thinking after we parted that day that I was prepared to accept the challenge. I so empathized with James after learning of his upbringing and his brother that more than anything, he needed someone who would love him. In fact, it helped me make the decision to marry James. The feelings of abandonment that would attack his heart if I were to leave him would be devastating and only reinforce his past. And, and…I loved him enough to help him find his true self…the real James, I already loved.”

“My dear, Marjorie, I am so grateful, that I was granted the years to see my stepson take such a dramatic turn in his life. I can honestly say that you have done what I thought was impossible. You do have a heart of gold. Through your untiring acceptance of, James, unconditionally, you have broken through the iron curtain surrounding his heart…Marjorie, you have ignited a spark within James that is new, so totally different, that it is almost unrecognizable because I am so used to seeing the other… Marjorie, the spark is…the spark of love…

“You have helped him truly find his true self.”

Jenny was speechless; she didn’t know how to respond. She had been getting little snippets of this from Matti noticing how different James was becoming. And, the flowers, cards and conversations with James had shown a totally new side of James…she could see it, too. But it was all too late…

Rather than be elated over what Nancy was saying, Jenny’s heart was cracking further.

“I suppose you are beginning to understand the reason for my call.”

Mrs. Hamilton hesitated, waiting for some response from Jenny, but there was none and so she went on, “I was over at the Greystone Manor yesterday. The estate looks so beautiful with all the wildflowers and butterflies…it looks so heavenly, but even more so, I was flabbergasted to see James. Marjorie, he is a changed man! His illness, though life threatening and painful has turned out to be a blessing. It slowed him down long enough to examine his life. I saw it in his father those last few months before he died. I could see regret in his eyes and I suppose if I had been able to love and accept him as you did James, he too might have died in peace and having at least some glimpse of what life is all about. But it was too late for Jim…but with James, there is promise. Marjorie, James sees what he has lost. He sees what a wonderful girl you were in his life. Marjorie, James wants you b—”

“Oh, Nancy…” Jenny was already in tears, her heart was aching. She knew now what Nancy was about to ask…she struggled with it in the garden the other day. Jesus was asking the same. No, no, no she couldn’t go back…

I love Henry so much…I want to marry him…I want to bear him a child…

“I’m so sorry if I am upsetting you. I know you have been through a lot with the divorce and the estranged relationship you had with James and your illness…you need time to think this all out. But I just wanted you to know, if you have any love left for my stepson, you would make him the happiest man in world if you were to go back…and I would love to see the two of you together again. These damn divorces come all too easy. No-one seems to try anymore…Marjorie, you have done the impossible…you, you are in my books, a saint!”

“Oh, Nancy, I have been ill for months and miraculously I have been healed. I moved to Regina to start over. My daughter is here and there is another man who has been in my life since I was fifteen. It’s a long story, Nancy, but incredibly he was healed as well, His wife passed away several years ago and a day before I died, he found me and since then we … have started to court …to see one another…”

“I understand, Marjorie. But please, consider what I have to say. The relationship you have with this other gentleman is just starting whereas with James it was a relationship you had for over twenty years. It may not have been under the best circumstances, but you have family, a son, daughter in law and grandson. It would be wonderful for you all to start over—”

“Oh, Nancy, it’s more than a teenage romance that I have with this man. It’s a love that I can’t explain, it’s a deep love, a true love…oh, you won’t understand, no-one can…Nancy, I can’t carry on this conversation any longer. It aches my heart just to think on it at this time…I’m sorry. Nancy perhaps we can speak in a few days. I am just getting my life back together and I need time…I need time to think this all out…” Jenny’s words trailed off.

“Marjorie, I didn’t want to say this unless I had to. I don’t want to pressure you and was hoping you would decide freely, but James’ prognosis isn’t good. The doctors had ordered him to go into the hospital last week, but he refuses to go. He firmly believes that you are going to come back. He wants to see you in the garden on the estate one more time. He wants to see you on the swing in the gazebo surrounded by the wildflowers. He wants to see you strolling down the different paths in the garden. He wants to see you chasing the butterflies and the sun on your face and the wind flowing through your golden hair. I’ve never seen a man so full of imagery and desire for a woman. He is so firm on staying on the estate. If he is going to die, he wants to see these images of you one last time…”

Jenny could barely listen to another word. But Nancy’s last remarks pierced her soul.

“What a wonderful statue sits in the garden by the gazebo. James shared the wonderful story behind the Angel of Thanksgiving. Who, but you, would have started to place flowers in the angel’s basket in thanksgiving for your blessings? Usually it would be for requests. Anyway, Marjorie, every day for the last week, he makes it to the garden with great difficulty and gives thanks that you have come into his life and all you have done by accepting him and showing him true love. But most of all, he places flowers in the angel’s basket in thanksgiving for your return.”

“Oh, Nancy…I just—”

“Marjorie, I know how difficult th—”

“And, please don’t call me, Marjorie, my name is, Jenny… Oh, I’m sorry, Nancy, it’s just that…oh, I just have to go…I’m so sorry…bye.”

Jenny hung up the phone and ran to her room. She collapsed on the bed and began to cry uncontrollably. She was so happy these past few days; it was like being in heaven. She thought the other day when Henry came to her after James had called that she just might have imagined that Jesus wanted her to go back to James.

Is this really and truly the cross I have to carry? Is this the real reason for my healing and return?

But what about Camilla, and my family here…and what about Henry?

My dear, sweet Henry, whom I love more than words can say.