CHAPTER EIGHT

Until now, I hadn't been focusing on what could go wrong and was more worried about making sure we had our supplies in order. That I'd left things as easy as possible for Nico and Phoenix in my absence. Now, though, the team has come to see us off and I look at each of them, purposefully blocking their emotions.

I didn't want to ask anyone to take leave but Will insisted, even though I put my foot down about anyone else joining us.

Will shakes hands with Hayes and kisses Blaire's cheek. Riley grabs him and pulls him into a bear hug.

'Don't do anything stupid, okay?' she says, before making her way to me and giving me a tight squeeze as well. Her pale, gold hair tickles my nose as I return the gesture. Riley is standing in for me as team leader while I'm gone and I give her a few last-minute instructions. She's so strong-willed, I know she won't take any changes or directions that would negatively impact the team in my absence. She'd prevent harm coming to any of us by sheer determination alone.

'I know, Lish,' she says, mock annoyance in her tone. 'I promise I'll take good care of them, and I'll do my best not to mess up the paperwork.' She winks at me. 'You, however, need to be creating paperwork. The more you find out, the better. I want to know who they are, what their movements are, how many are involved—'

'I know how to build a case, Riles.' I laugh and she points a finger at me, grey eyes narrowed.

'That may be so,' she says in a smug tone, 'but, as of now, I am team leader, and I am telling you I want it watertight. And so compelling Robard won't care you gathered the information while on leave. Because, then, we're going to take it to him and get the resources to bring those bastards down. Properly.'

Hayes steps between us, patting me on the back before pulling me into a quick, hard hug. 'You guys will be fine. But, if you follow that path and find them, do not engage under any circumstances,' he insists. 'We know nothing about the drugs they're using, or how they are administering them. So stay the hell away and gather intel only.' Hayes holds my gaze, glasses back on today, and my stomach flips slightly at the seriousness there. 'Information only, Lish,' he repeats. 'The single most important thing is you both come back in one piece – everything else is secondary.'

I nod at Hayes, letting his message sink in before kissing Blaire on both cheeks, half listening to Will and Phoenix exchange goodbyes. Will looks at Phoenix with narrowed eyes, the latter stumbling over his words but clearly trying to make a point. I drag my attention back to Blaire.

'Please make sure my apartment is standing when I get back,' I say.

'You know better than to ask for things I have no power to deliver,' she laughs.

I'd said goodbye to Nico this morning before we dropped him at Hayes's family home, in case he found the group farewell too overwhelming. His little face was teary as I left and my heart still aches for him, the glimmer of hope in his eyes weighing heavily. It dawns on me I only have Phoenix left to say goodbye to and we haven't discussed what, if anything, we are going to tell the team about us. We're such a tight knit group, I doubt any of them have even thought twice about the fact we've been sharing a sofa bed since Nico arrived. I search his green eyes for a clue for how he'd like to manage this, my heart thumping in my chest. The others are still chatting around us and don't seem to have noticed our awkwardness. Slowly we make our way towards each other and I'm conscious of the noise dying away a little.

'You guys good?' Riley asks, watching us curiously.

My eyes flick to her and back to Phoenix. Shyly he lifts one shoulder at me and I stare back, suddenly at a crossroads. If I show the others the affection I have for Phoenix, there's no taking it back. No way to stop the ripple effect. At the same time, if I reject Phoenix here … I don't think I'm willing to see the hurt that's sure to be on his face. Or feel on his behalf. I'd wondered, for a moment, if he would turn away from this but he seems ready to meet it head on. I hesitantly take his lead.

I turn a little so I can see everyone. 'There's maybe something you guys should know.' I say quietly, suddenly realising how much I might lose if things go wrong when Will and I get to that forest. And, if they do, I don't want Phoenix to feel like he was my dirty secret. That is something I will never do to anyone. In any capacity.

Riley lifts a brow, a curious half-grin on her face.

Phoenix reaches out to my hip and pulls me towards him. I lean against him looking up into his gaze.

'I couldn't let you go without another of these anyway,' he says quietly before pressing his soft lips to mine. I savour the feel of his mouth, closing my eyes against the sudden silence of the others. Breathing into the little gold flame in my chest that helps me block everyone else's emotions out. My own feelings are enough to contain at the moment as I say goodbye and chase the answers I've desperately needed my whole life.

'Whoop!' Riley exclaims at the same time Hayes says, 'Bloody hell, you kept that quiet.'

I laugh softly and shake my head against Phoenix's shoulder to hide my blush. I hold him tightly before one last kiss.

'Be safe. Please, Lish,' he says seriously, tucking a strand of my hair from my face. 'I'll be waiting for you.'

I release him and collect my pack.

'God, who packed this damn thing,' I grumble, still trying not to look directly at anyone and give them time to let the kiss they've just seen sink in. Even if it will probably take longer to really process it. Although Riley already seems on board. I can't help the lift in the corners of my mouth at her unwavering support.

'Stay safe, all of you,' I say. 'Don't wreck my apartment, make sure you keep us posted on anything more you hear of the Whispers, and be vigilant on your patrols. Riley,' I continue, 'I know you'll be amazing at the TL role but I do want my job back so don't be too good, okay?' I pause. 'Oh, and look after Nico and Phoenix please. They are my boys, after all.'

I wink as I wave goodbye; a false bravado, I know, but I want to leave them on a lighter note than the worry that's starting to settle in my stomach.

It's not until later, when I've eased off on the barrier I create over my skin and let myself think on the goodbye, that I register the shock in Blaire's fawn-brown eyes.

•

The Guard Headquarters are roughly halfway between the Dockside Gate and the Northern Gate of the city and, thankfully, the air-conditioned electric trains run that route frequently. The clean-up crews have done their jobs well and none of the tracks are obstructed, meaning we make our way to the Northern Gate in good time. Even if I moan about the weight of my pack often enough for Will to feign sticking his fingers in his ears every time I open my mouth. We've timed our run to maximise the late evening hours, when there's enough light to see by but we don't have to brave the unrelenting daytime sun.

Outside the city walls the landscape is dry and bare, despite the hail last night. There are no more storms forecast for the coming weeks, which will make the heat the biggest threat to the first part of our journey. I focus on that instead of what we might find in the forest, Hayes's warning still ringing in my ears. The librarian's journal has left me with a frayed edge. All the loose ends of my childhood screaming to be tied together.

The land beneath us slopes up gradually towards Althea Forest in the distance, mimicking the subtle change in my heart rate. The rutted road we follow doesn't look like it's ever been sealed, even this close to the city. It's been so long since anyone was able to live on this side, it's all been left as a wasteland.

Dotted along the road, and down laneways that shoot off to the left and right, are old homes, mostly in a state of disrepair. At one time in history, despite Rhyton being a walled city, the world was relatively safe and stable. Properties on the city's edge, with more space for families and a handful of livestock, were highly sought after and seen as a more prestigious holding than some of the higher density urban areas.

Not anymore.

I suppress a shiver at the ghostly old buildings watching us pass.

As we continue along the dirt road, these properties thin out to the entrances of what were once large, productive farms that have now been claimed by drought. The gates caked with dust and left open – if they remain standing at all.

Every last drop has been squeezed from the land here until she literally cracked under the pressure – the fissures running along the hard red and yellow ground as far as the eye can see between the forest and the walls of Rhyton.

The depth of the fissures worsens the further we go and we walk far from their edges. A handful of trees, mostly either dead or dying – their grey trunks a reminder of what eventually claims us all – are scattered across the fields in what remains of the forest that used to grow here, too. Both those and the abandoned houses and sheds are too far spread to offer any cover.

But, despite my constant glancing around and Will's rostered watches on our breaks, we don't see another soul.

The wall on this side wasn't even patrolled.

•

It takes us a bit over three days to reach the edge of the Althea Forest.

I am sick of the heat and the sweat that clings to every part of me. It sits between me and my pack like slime. We mostly walked overnight and in the early hours of the morning, sheltering under our heat retardant mats during the worst parts of the day, the temperatures out in the open too dangerous to walk in during the hours of full sun. We would normally talk more on our outings together, but even Will doesn't have the energy to engage much as we trudge through the dust.

We walk through the edge of the forest as the sun moves towards its highest point, the trees gradually becoming more densely packed together. Some change to a heavily leaved, darker green, contrasting with those that are in various stages of decay, the dead debris crunching underfoot. I want to sing at the shade they offer.

The deeper we go, the softer the ground beneath us becomes, delicate flowers in blues and purples pop up their heads and moss begins to show on tree trunks. The scratching of the bark on the pads of my fingers as I run them along the trees we pass draws a smile to my face. The air is subtly different here too, as if it hasn't been disturbed by people in a long, long time. My skin tingles in acknowledgment of this sacred place.

'Can you believe this?' I ask as I look up the length of the trees that reach for the sky.

'It's phenomenal,' Will breathes. 'And makes it even harder for me to understand why it was acceptable to destroy so much of it.'

We stop for a drink and Will consults a copy of the map. 'Right, so I think we now shift east a little more and follow the tallest trees. They should make a bit of a path between them that will lead us to the stone bridge the notebook talks about.'

I look skyward where there does seem to be a pattern of taller trees. It's slight, and I wouldn't have noticed it if we weren't looking, but it seems close enough to what the journal describes. What is less clear is exactly what we do once we find the bridge, but I'm hoping that will be more obvious once we get there.

'Please just make sure you know how to get us back out of here, Will. I do not intend to spend the rest of my days wandering around this forest.'

'I shouldn't imagine you would, not with Phoenix waiting for you back home,' he says, an edge in his voice I don't want to identify.

'Ah, I was wondering when you might bring that up. It's only taken you three days.'

'I thought you might first, but apparently I'm going to have to coax it out of you. What's the deal there?'

'Well … ' I start.

'Hang on, let's be clear. You can spare me the gory details. Save those for Blaire and Riley.'

I laugh. I haven't spoken to anyone about Phoenix at all, as yet, but there are definitely some shareable details about him. And some lovely things I'm very happy to keep to myself.

'Got it,' I tell him. 'Well—oh I don't know. He's gorgeous, Will—'

He scoffs. 'Lish, everyone thinks he's gorgeous. But it's not a good enough reason to jump into bed with him.'

'If you'd let me finish, I mean he is gorgeous. His soul is gorgeous. I've had a soft spot for him for a long time, you know that. And I stayed away because I didn't want to be just another number to him, but it turns out that's not all it seems,' I tell him.

Will is quiet for a while as he leans against a tall tree, examining me, and I give him space to think. Changes like this in any group will cause waves, even more so in a group like ours, and it's not something I thought I would ever be part of. Will and I have never been romantically involved, despite many people thinking differently. And Hayes, or Riley, or Blaire for that matter, just aren't my type. As for Phoenix, well, I'd parked the thought of him out of respect for myself. But with that no longer an issue, and I have no doubt he was honest about that, I simply couldn't resist him.

'I'm happy for you, Lish,' Will says, surprising me. I was expecting more of a lecture. 'You're like my sister and Phoenix is my best friend, so this is a little awkward for me … but I don't want him to get hurt,' he says.

'What?' I ask, not caring about the octave my voice just went up. 'Aren't you supposed to worry about me getting hurt?'

'Oh sure,' he says, waving a hand, my feelings clearly an afterthought. 'That wouldn't be great. But we both know Phoenix is never going to hurt you; he's possibly the nicest person on the planet. And you're tough, even if he did, you've been through worse. It's Phoenix I'm worried about.'

Will twists around to the tree he is leaning on and puts a mark towards the base of its trunk with his knife.

'Thanks for the vote of confidence,' I mumble. 'What are you doing?' I ask.

'You're right about making sure we know how to get out. I can still see to where the trees thin out from here but if it continues to get thicker, it could be easy to get turned around. We can use the notches to figure our way out if needed,' he says.

•

The moisture in the air licks my skin as we continue deeper into the forest and my heart skips at the reprieve from the oppressive, dry heat. There is no path to speak of, save the taller trees we are following, and we frequently step over tree roots, scramble over large boulders, and carefully pick our way over mossy ground.

I marvel at the difference in the environment here and closer to the city. It astounds me how the environment can change so dramatically in short distances. In the before, I think these changes were slower in nature and this is just another crack in her rhythm we are witnessing. I say a silent thanks to our Premier for marking what remains of Althea Forest as a critical zone, never to be torn down and developed. Part of me wishes it was closer to the city so we could enjoy it more. But the brutal walk across the farm flats puts most people off coming and, really, I don't think it's a bad thing to stop people coming here. The more people admire, the more they want to claim.

Late in the afternoon, we search for a place to stop for the night, having been able to make good progress during the day in the cooler temperatures in the forest. I take out my phone to text Phoenix and the others with our progress only to find there is no reception here – not totally surprising. I grab the satellite phone from my bag, instead, and send a two-line message before flicking it back to power save mode and stashing it away again. We'll need it to have power for as long as possible in case there's an emergency. I don't think about how long it will take them to get here, even if something does go wrong.

We move out of the row of trees slightly, conscious not to lose sight of it, and make a simple camp behind a large boulder. I rub my neck where the hairs have started to prickle and scan the trees. The dark is coming in quickly and it's hard to make out much beyond the immediate area of our camp. Will watches as if he's sensed something as well, and we silently agree it would be best not to light a fire. It's cooler here but not so cold that we will suffer greatly without it. Neither of us have been into the forest before but we know there will be at least some animals here, particularly those that are active at night, and we don't want to draw their attention if we can help it.

But it's the thought of the Whispers frequenting this forest that makes my skin crawl. What they might do to people they find here.

Will has carried the heavier pack these last few days, as we used the supplies out of mine first to help me manage the load, so I volunteer for first watch after our basic meal of bread and pre-packaged snack bars. We sit close together on the forest floor, our backs against the boulder. I expect the stone to be cold but it's strangely warm through my shirt, and I lean my head back to examine the trees and listen carefully to the sounds around us.

Next to me, Will's breathing slows as he rests on the verge of sleep. It's early compared to when we would be heading to bed in Rhyton but these days and nights of walking and scrambling with our packs are tiring and it's now really quite dark.

'Is it nice?' Will asks with his eyes closed.

'What?'

'Having someone who sees beyond the broken bits.'

I turn my head so I can see his profile. 'I see you, Will.'

'I know but … ' he trails off.

'It's different, I know,' I say quietly, and he nods once. 'You'll find your person.'

He smiles a little. 'Do you think it would be too much to wish for the kids and the white picket fence as well?'

I nudge him with my shoulder. 'You'd be an incredible father, Will. You should wish for it all.'

The birds start to quiet down. I enjoyed listening to their various sounds as we made our way into the forest. I don't know what they are, but we don't have such pretty or colourful birds in the city. I smile at the sudden memory of a bright blue bird I had once. It used to come with me everywhere but I don't know what happened to it after that night.

The bird song is gradually replaced with the careful murmurs of night-time and Will's soft snoring. We don't often sleep in the same room anymore, although he does crash on the sofa on a regular basis, but I don't remember him snoring as he does gently now.

I take the jacket from my pack and gently place it behind his head. In hindsight, I should have made him lie down before he could nod off, but he won't sleep deeply anyway. I watch the trees move slightly in the breeze, the leaves rustling a quiet lullaby. Faintly, I think I can hear running water and wonder if it's the river we are searching for. The one with the stone bridge.

My backside is starting to ache from sitting on the ground for so long, my eyes hurting from constantly scanning the forest around us, but I'm loath to move and wake Will. As I lift my head off the boulder to carefully shift a little and relieve the ache, I see them. Or I think I do. Right on the edge of where the trees are too thick and dark to see through, two amber eyes look back at me. I inch my fingers towards the knife I left by my side, too long to stay comfortably on my belt while I sit.

The eyes don't move. I'm not even sure they blink. I brush the handle of my blade with my fingertips and draw it slightly nearer. The amber dims a little and I squint to try and make them out better, but I can't quite bring them into focus. I don't know how I'd explain it to Will if he were awake, I don't even understand it myself. But something about those eyes sparks a deep sense of longing. And while the eyes themselves don't frighten me, the darkness of the forest suddenly seems more sinister and I shiver.

•

As the sun rises in the sky and I watch Will rouse from sleep, I wait for his irritation I didn't wake him.

'We're supposed to take turns,' he grumbles as he heaves his pack on.

I hand him another of the snack bars.

'You were tired,' I say.

He rolls his eyes before looking around slowly. 'I thought this place was enchanting yesterday,' he says, lowering his voice. 'Now, it's starting to give me the creeps.'

Thinking on the coolness in the air that hasn't shifted and the foreboding mood of the trees during the night, I decide to tell him about the eyes another time.

Lugging my own pack on, I wish once more I'd packed lighter, the muscles in my shoulders groaning with me. I'm pretty sure I've lost skin where the straps of my pack have rubbed, too. We walk long into the morning without talking, the watchfulness of the forest prompting us forward, keen to find the bridge as soon as we can. The running water I heard last night is harder to place during the day, but it seems to be slowly getting louder as we make our way once again along the line of the tallest trees.

We stop for a break and some water under a magnificent tree. I arch my head back to look up at its full height, but I can't see where it ends. I listen to the sounds of the forest as we pack up the few things we had out, the trees are more harried this morning and I turn to check behind us again. Will is saying something I don't catch and I draw my attention back to him.

'What?' I ask.

He looks at me warily. 'I didn't say anything,' he says. 'But you can hear it too?'

We reach for our weapons at the same time – me my pistol, Will palming his throwing knives. The thumping in my chest grows harder and I try to steady my hands.

'We haven't even got to the damn bridge yet,' Will mutters under his breath. 'What's a bet they've found us instead?'

My vision starts to go black at the edges.

'Shit,' I say, and I grip my pistol harder.

Desperately, I look at Will who is shaking his head as if trying to clear his vision and scanning the forest. Sweat stings my eyes as the memories of this sensation come flooding back.

I know what this is.

I know how this ends.

'We have to run,' I murmur, fighting the panic that rises from the pit of my stomach.

Will reaches for my hand, one of his knives now gripped between us and we begin to move, abandoning our packs, the noise in my head increases and drowns out my senses. We stumble through the forest, the branches of trees tearing at my skin as we run. My arm jerks suddenly as Will stumbles but I wrench him to his feet, scrambling forward. I want to call out to him but he won't be able to hear me over the screaming. I am plunged into complete darkness as Will is wrenched out of my grip.

'William!' I scream. 'William!'

The only hint that I am making a sound is the strain in my throat. I can hear nothing over the screaming in my head.

'William!'

I crawl in the dirt to find him. My hands scraping against trees and stones as I seek the feel of him. I don't think it's possible but the noise in my head intensifies. I curl into myself with my hands on my ears. Begging for it to stop. My head wants to explode, anything to relieve the pressure. The pain.

I see her face. The blood that ran down it. The wet crack of my nightmares repeats itself within the noise in my head. I can't see. I can't see Will.

'Please,' I think I whisper. 'Please, don't take him.'

There is a momentary flash of white pain in my skull and then there is nothing.