Chapter Twenty-Six: Shatters
The sound of my door opening snaps me up out of a deep sleep. Panicked, staring into the dark, my eyes search for an intruder. It does nothing to help my heart rate drop when I find David standing in the doorway, shrouded in shadows. His grim expression is pointed in my direction, but he doesn’t really seem to see me.
“Get up and get dressed,” he commands.
That’s all he says. The door snaps shut, and I hear his dress shoes clicking down the hallway. Unclenching my hands, the blanket I was holding clutched against my chest, like it would actually do something to protect me, falls away. What did he just say? I look over at the clock and realize he just woke me up at five in the morning on a Saturday. Groaning, I toss my blankets off and trudge to my closet.
I didn’t even know he had gotten back. Does Grandma know? Does she know he’s taking me somewhere? My hand freezes on a random shirt hanging in my closet as a scary thought hits me. Where is David taking me? How long will we be gone? My hand falls away from the shirt. Is Grandma okay? Is she still alive? Is David taking me away for good?
All thoughts of getting dressed flee from my mind as I burst out of my room and barrel down the hallway. My grandma’s door flings open under my panicked touch, banging against the wall. The rustling of the bed sheets almost drops me to my knees. She struggles to sit up, her eyes questing out through the darkness to see what disturbed her.
“Vanessa?”
It brings tears to my eyes to hear how frail her voice has become. I practically run to her side. Kneeling down next to her bed, I grab one of her hands in mine. My hunger roars at the contact. Tears spill down my cheeks in the face of her pain and anguish, but I hold it in check thanks to everything David has taught me. I can’t stay for long, though.
“Vanessa, what are you doing in here? It isn’t safe,” she says worriedly. She’s too weak to pull away, too scared to want to.
“I know, Grandma, I just… David’s taking me somewhere. I had to make sure you were okay and… and say goodbye.”
Her already watery eyes turn into pools. “Goodbye? Is he…?”
“I don’t know,” I say quickly. “He just woke me up and told me to get dressed. I…”
“Vanessa,” David says, more softly than he normally would. “Why are you disturbing your grandmother? It’s not good for her, and it certainly isn’t wise for you to be near her. Your control is nowhere near where it needs to be to withstand her pain for long.”
“I know, but…”
Sighing, he comes up behind me and sets his hand on my shoulder. “We’re just going to the compound for the weekend. We’ll be back, and your grandmother will still be here.”
I stare up at him, desperate to know he isn’t lying. There’s no way I could ever say that I trust David, but I know he isn’t trying to deceive me right now. Slowly, I stand up and let my hand slip free of hers. “I love you, Grandma.”
It seems painful for her to smile. The corners of her mouth tremble as she looks at me. “I love you, too. Be safe while you’re gone.”
My chin begins trembling as I back away. “I’ll try.” Turning away, I breathe out slowly. That’s really all I can offer.
I make it out to the hallway before I have to stop and find some support. Leaning up against the wall, I try very hard to get my fears under control. It doesn’t help that David steps out into the hall a moment later and pulls the door to Grandma’s room closed. The soft click sends another round of panic through me.
“Who’s going to take care of her?” I look back toward the door. I don’t see Zander being dragged out of bed, but he can’t be near her for long either. She’s barely been able to get up and down the stairs in the last few weeks. She refuses any sort of medical treatment because she knows it won’t help. Not that she’ll talk to Zander or me about it. David was unusually considerate to tell us that much, that she wanted to spend her last few weeks at home where she’s comfortable. The thought of her dying alone, with no one there to sit with her, pierces me. My shoulders are shaking, tears falling, before I can stop myself.
Arms close around my shoulders. I jump back, half-terrified I’m about to be punished for showing such weakness, but David only presses my head against his chest and holds me patiently until I calm back down. I don’t want to be grateful when I finally pull back, but that sense of longing, that wish that I had my dad back, assaults me, and I can’t say anything at all.
“Now, go get dressed and meet me downstairs in twenty minutes. A Godling nurse will be here to look after her while we’re gone.”
“Shouldn’t I… pack, or something?” I’m still sniffling and trying to make my hands stop shaking as I speak, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
“Everything you need is already at the compound. Just get dressed. You can sleep on the way if you’d like.”
He starts to turn away, but impulse makes me reach out. Glancing down at my hand on his forearm, he looks back at me questioningly. I realize this is probably the first time I have every touched him of my own free will. I pull my hand back, but I keep my gaze level with his. “Can Ketchup come?”
David shakes his head. “Not this time.”
“Why not?” My hands twist together. “What will I be doing?”
“You mean, what will you be doing that I don’t want him to see?” Other than a crooked eyebrow, his expression is blank. “Do you really think there’s anything you could do that would make Ketchup walk away from you?”
For better or worse… I swallow, my throat feeling sticky. “No.” The word is a difficult one to speak.
“Neither do I,” David says. “You need to focus this weekend. No distractions. So, no Ketchup. It has nothing to do with hiding anything from him, as I’m sure you’ll give him a full report as soon as we get back.”
I fear asking any other questions and actually getting the answers, so I nod and turn toward my bedroom. I can tell by the lack of clicking shoes that he’s watching me, but I don’t look back. I’m afraid to.
Once I’m safe in my room, I dress quickly. Not knowing what I’m in for, I throw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt, grabbing a sweater in case I need it on the way out. I twist my hair into a ballet knot as I walk toward the stairs, knowing it won’t look great no matter what I do at this point. Fear is still lurking behind every step I take, but considering David’s blasé attitude about this trip’s activities, plus his unusual kindness this morning, I don’t feel as terrified as I probably should as I rush down the stairs.
I hit the landing, but stop before going any further. I have no idea whether or not David deigned to tell Zander we were leaving, so I text him and Ketchup to let them know where I’ll be all weekend. I know they won’t see it for hours and, by the time they do, I probably won’t be able to reply to them, but if I don’t come back, they’ll at least know where to start looking… or who to take revenge on. Shaking my head, I trudge to the living room, really hoping it doesn’t come to that.
David stands as soon as he sees me. While I look like a bleary-eyed rat dragged out of its hole, he’s as impeccably manicured as always. It’s not fair. Ignoring my sourness, he gestures to the front door. I turn reluctantly, fear making a reappearance, and wait for him to open the door. When he does, I’m somewhat surprised to find a Godling driver waiting on the porch. He nods to David, and then starts for the sleek, black car in the driveway.
Normally, David isn’t so smug as to have to be driven around everywhere. This will be a long drive, though, and I can only assume he has business to conduct on the way. I slow just a bit as I realize that means we’ll be stuck together in the backseat the entire ride. Oddly, the thought makes me miss Ketchup. What I wouldn’t give right now to spend the next several hours tucked under his arm. I sigh, knowing there’s no negotiating with David.
I cross behind the back of the car and open the door. David is already seated by the time I drop into my seat. My plan is to promptly fall back asleep. As usual, David messes it all up.
“You have surprised me yet again,” he says as the driver pulls out onto the street. He doesn’t look at me as he speaks. Whatever he’s got going on with his phone is too important.
Not sure what he’s talking about, I give him a puzzled look. “Oh yeah?”
“I expected a fight this morning.”
“Is that why you woke me up so freakin’ early? Hoping I’d be too tired to argue?”
“No,” David says, “we simply need to be at the compound by a certain time.”
It’s all about the schedule. Shaking my head, I say, “Afraid I might be late for a training session?”
“Something like that.” He sets his phone down, turning his attention away from his emails or whatever. It’s clear when he looks at me that I have his full attention, whether I want it or not. “Why did you not fight me about coming? It’s clear you’re frightened by the prospect of coming with me, yet here we are.”
“It doesn’t matter if I’m scared,” I say. I breathe out slowly as I choose my next words. “I didn’t fight because I’m prepared to do whatever it takes.”
“Whatever it takes to do what?”
Not shying away from his intensity, I meet his gaze. “To survive.”
If I wasn’t scared enough before, the smile that slips onto David’s mouth at my answer brings a whole new level of fear to the table.
***
I stare at the table in confusion. What is all this stuff? After a really long drive, I was hoping for a nap, or at least five minutes to collect myself. Being dragged off to some random room and left here with a table full of what looked like spy gear wasn’t on my agenda. I pick up one of the contraptions and stare at the straps, not sure what to even do with it.
The door bursting open behind me makes me jump, but relief rushes through me when I see Chris. He looks positively gleeful. “Nice to see you again, Van. Are you ready for this?”
I can only shrug. “I don’t even know what this is.”
Realizing then that David didn’t bother to explain anything to me—as usual—Chris steps back into teacher mode. “This,” he says, “is your first mission.”
“My what?” I practically shriek. “I thought I was coming here for some kind of next level training or whatever.”
“You are, but this is field training. I’ll be with you the whole way.”
“But, what are we doing?”
Chris hesitates. He seems to ponder his answer a moment before continuing. “We have a situation that needs to be dealt with, and David thought you would be the best choice to accompany me.” He grabs a stack of black clothing and holds it out to me. “And I agreed.”
“What situation?” I demand. “What are we supposed to do?”
Pushing the clothes into my hands, Chris says, “I’ll explain everything. Get changed, and I’ll help you into the rest of your gear.”
That’s all he offers. Chris strides out of the room like everything is right with the world, and I’m not standing here with a pile of clothes in my arms and no clue what I’m about to walk into. Left alone in the room, I don’t know what else to do but get dressed. My fingers tremble as I change out of my jeans and pull on the military-style black cargo pants in their place. Only one thought calms me. As terrified as I am right now, I meant what I said to David.
A few minutes later, Chris knocks on the door before pushing into the room. I’m fully dressed, and still terrified, but I put on a good enough show that he powers on without comment. In no time, I have flashlights in my pockets, a variety of tools wrapped around my waist, and an earpiece tucked into place. Even knowing it’s there, I jump a little when Chris tests it. My reaction earns me a laugh, but he turns serious soon after.
“Now, Van, you’ll be acting as my wingman on this mission. All you have to do is follow my lead.”
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“To infiltrate an Eroi compound. Their leader has been getting too close. We know they’re planning a strike, and we have to disrupt their plans before they can hit us. We have a very limited window of time, so I need you to do exactly as I say.”
Suddenly, my heart is in my throat. “You mean… this is a real mission? Like, we’re going to… kill someone?”
Chris doesn’t miss a beat as he says, “Yes.”
I think I’m going to throw up. Chris must see it because he grabs my upper arm to steady me. Clinging to him, I try to keep my cool. I’m just the wingman. I’m not the one who has to do it. I’m just going to be there, just… watch. My stomach heaves. Chris shoves me into a chair next to the table and orders me to breathe. I don’t have to kill anyone, but Chris will.
Panic latches onto me. I knew. I knew David was a killer. I knew lots of the Godlings were in his pocket, but Chris? He’s not supposed to be one of them. Tears burn in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Weakness. He’ll see it as weakness. He’ll tell David. I’ll fail. Isolde will call off the deal. How could Chris be one of them?
It’s almost worse than thinking I had to be the one to take down an Eroi leader. Chris was supposed to be my ally, the one person I could trust in this godforsaken place. In the back of my mind, I always hoped he would help me escape if it came to that. A crippling sense of aloneness sinks into my bones. My only hope is making David believe I’m everything he thinks I am.
That singular thought has a strange effect on me.
Chris watches me with a concerned expression as my breathing slows back to normal, and I straighten my shoulders. Everything I just experienced slips away into a fog of cold resolve. Noah’s words echo in my mind. This is the only way to protect the people I love. I won’t fail.
“Van, are you okay?” Chris asks slowly.
I look up at him with an expression I know is as hollow as my soul feels right now. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
After adjusting a strap that loosened during my panic attack, I say, “Aren’t we on a tight schedule?”
His eyes narrow, and I know he’s worried about me, but I don’t let it affect me. The calm wrapped around me feels unnatural, but I embrace it. I have to. Finally, Chris shakes his head and gestures for me to follow him. We’re silent as we stalk through the compound halls. I don’t question him when he leads me to an SUV with windows so dark there’s no chance of seeing out of them. This first time I climbed into a car like this, I was terrified I was being kidnapped. This time, the only emotion running through me is determination.
I want to believe I was created for something more than killing, but the evidence is hard to come by. Everything about me screams dangerous. All David preaches about is purpose. If this is it, the reason for my existence, I’ll make it count for something more than a senseless war.
Chris climbs into the backseat of the SUV with me but, before he can say anything, I take control. “Which Eroi compound are we infiltrating? There are at least two within driving distance, right?”
Hiding his surprise is impossible. He knows very well that David would have never told me the location of an Eroi compound. A million thoughts must be running through his mind right now, wondering where I came across such information. Even in his wildest dreams, I know he would never guess the truth. That’s why I felt confident enough to say it. If I have any hope of pulling this off, I need them both to realize I’m more competent and dangerous than they realize.
At some point while we were walking down the halls, I realized the compound David intends for us to hit might very well be Isolde’s. He doesn’t know about the deal we made with her. I know that because this situation would be playing out very differently if he did. It could also be Noah’s band of delusional Heroes. Attacking Noah’s leaders could solve a problem for me, but it could also expose my connection to them, faint as it is. Killing Isolde would cripple my plans for escape. There would be no other option than to find a way to survive in David’s army until I can kill him.
Realizing Chris never answered my question, I turn to look at him. “Is this how it’s always going to be? Me getting whisked off with no explanation and no idea where I’m going?”
“No,” Chris says slowly. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything else. Something changes in his expression, like he’s made a decision. “We’ll be hitting one of their bases in Albuquerque.”
That doesn’t tell me enough to know which group we’re going after, unfortunately. “Why did David drag me all the way here then? It would have saved time to send you to me.”
“The gear and supplies we needed were here.”
“You could have brought it all with you.”
Chris nods. “He also wanted to make sure you were emotionally and psychologically prepared to step out of training and into your future roll.”
“What was the plan if I wasn’t ready? Lock me in a closet all weekend?” The look Chris gives me says I pretty much hit the nail on the head. Inwardly, I cringe, knowing I came very close to being booted off this mission. Part of me still wishes I had been. I don’t let it show. All I do is settle back into my seat and wait.
It’s hours later when we finally roll to a stop. I have no idea where we are until Chris gives me the go ahead to open the door and step out. When I do, pretty much nothing is made any clearer. Boots scratching against loose pavement gravel, I scan the rundown complex that looks like it used to be a manufacturing plant of some kind. I’m even more confused when Chris leads me over to a grate set into a low point in the chewed up asphalt.
“Their hideout is underground?” I question. Are we fighting the mole people?
Chris laughs. “Their compound is about a mile from here, but this is how we plan to get there.”
No wonder David didn’t join us. No way he’d crawl into a stormwater grate and risk dirtying up his suit. Chris seems almost gleeful as he yanks up the grate and drops into the hole. I’m not as thrilled at the prospect, especially knowing we had one of those freak, desert downpours last night that filled the arroyos in flash floods all over the valley. There’s bound to be a pool of mucky water at the bottom. With a sigh, I jump.
Chris already has a flashlight leveled in front of us when I land. Once I have my feet as solidly beneath me as I can while standing in six inches of slimy sludge, he starts walking through a makeshift doorway cut out of the metal pipe. The ground beneath my feet as I step through is no longer covered metal, but slurping mud. Not much of an improvement. The tunnel we’re standing in looks recently dug, and I assume it wasn’t done by the Eroi. I follow the beam of yellow light, silent, until we reach something unexpected. Chris and I both stop and stare at the caved-in portion of tunnel, no doubt a product of last night’s storm.
Pressing a finger to his ear, Chris says, “There’s been a cave-in.” He listens, nods, and then responds. “Keep me informed of the time.” He drops his hand and gestures at the dirt and rocks. “Well, we better start digging.”
I don’t question him. I’m thankful for the thick gloves I’m wearing as I yank at boulders and scoop away water-heavy dirt. Chris gave the command casually, but we both work quickly to clear away enough of the rubble to squeeze through a gap at the top. I haven’t forgotten what Chris said about having a limited window of opportunity for this mission. I stumble over dirt and rocks after making it through, but my shoulders drop at the sight of more cave-ins.
Chris sees them the moment he straightens and growls in frustration. The others aren’t as bad as the first, but there’s no way to walk through the mess. I only make it about five feet before finding myself army crawling to make it through. Chris struggles along beside me, but as we keep moving, the passable area keeps growing smaller and smaller.
“Time,” Chris grumbles into his earpiece. I don’t know what the answer is, but it sets him to more grumbling. “No, we’ll make it.” He taps my boot from behind to get my attention. “We’ve got to move faster. Pick up the pace.”
I want to use my position to my advantage and kick him in the face for a split second. He knows I’m moving as fast as I can. He can’t go any faster, either! We barely have a few inches to maneuver in. Grunting, I do my best to crawl faster, even still. What really irritates me the most is that we’re probably not going to make it in time and then we’ll have to crawl back through this stupid tunnel! Letting my frustration fuel me, I struggle through the tunnel with renewed strength. I’m so focused, I cry out when my hand suddenly hits nothing and I pitch forward, landing hard on my stomach.
“What’s wrong?” Chris asks in a panicked voice. “Are you okay?”
I don’t know where my flashlight went. I dropped it when I stumbled, and I can’t see its light anywhere. Questing out with my hand, I feel around for some sense of what we’ve hit. I don’t find anything straight in front of me, but the ground beneath me drops away suddenly. “I think it’s just a pocket that wasn’t caved in. Hold on, let me crawl through and see how far it goes. Come forward after me and toss your flashlight down. I lost mine.”
I assume Chris’s answering grunt is agreement. Not sure what I’m about to drop into, I pull my body forward. There’s no way to get my feet out in front of me. I resort to reaching over the lip of the drop-off, and wedging my hands into the dirt and mud sloping away from me. I nearly cry out when I finally get enough of myself free and my body tips forward into oblivion. My panic only lasts a few seconds before my backside slams into the muddy ground a paltry foot or less below where my hands had dug into the dirt.
Coughing, I push myself up to sitting. “It’s not that far of a drop. Come through,” I tell Chris.
Still blind, I push up to standing and step back from the hole I just fell out of. Chris tosses his flashlight through, lighting up the area, before yanking himself out of the collapsed tunnel and falling. I have his flashlight in hand as he stands and tries to clean himself off. He doesn’t seem to notice the scratch above his eye, dripping a small trail of blood down his face. There’s really no point in trying to clean up, but I could use a minute to rest.
The minute ends as soon as he presses his fingers to his ear and says, “Time.”
Again, whatever the other guy’s answer is, Chris is not pleased. He turns and takes the flashlight from me to scan the immediate area. I spot my own flashlight lying in the mud, either broken or accidentally turned off when it fell, and pick it up. As I stand, I realize the area ahead of us is open.
“It’s time to run,” Chris says.
He doesn’t need to say anything else. We both take off at a sprint, hoping the rest of the tunnel has held. Our hope only last another five minutes. I’m the first to spot the dirt spread over the tunnel floor. As I get closer, I realize it isn’t just dirt. A string of curse spit out of Chris’s mouth as he comes to a stop behind me. The slab of concrete that has fallen through the tunnel ceiling and blocked any hope of passage creates a confusing mix of disappointment and relief.
“Time,” Chris snaps into the headset. Slamming a fist into the wall, a look of fury washes over his features. I step back, suddenly drenched in a feeling of startling recognition. I mouth his next words silently, cold creeping down my spine. “It’s not too late.”
I reach up, not caring if Chris notices, and turn my headset on just in time to hear the words I knew I would.
“No, you’re out of time.”
That was where the vision cut off. Now, I watch it play out in front of me as Chris slams his hand into the tunnel wall, drenching us both in a spray of dirt. “There’s enough time,” he growls. “We’re close. We just have to break through this last cave-in. You said yourself there’s only twenty or thirty feet left after that.”
“You’re already past the time of acceptable escape. If you go in now, the Eroi security will close in on you too soon. There’s no way to make it back in time with the tunnel so deteriorated. We’re calling you off.”
“No! He’s the reason I was pulled from fieldwork!”
“No,” David’s cold voice breaks in, “you were pulled from fieldwork because of your overconfidence and cavalier approach to missions. You let yourself be caught on camera with a gun to your target’s head.”
“His agent killed two members of my team. I had every right…”
“You have no rights,” David snaps. “You have orders. Your orders then were to take down your target without getting caught. You failed. Your orders in this moment are to back off and get Vanessa out of harm’s way. This time, you will not fail. Do you understand me?”
I watch as Chris’s fists clench and unclench. His building anger will ensure this mission fails, one way or another. I look away, not sure what to do, until I spot a small opening at the top of the cave-in. It’s too small for Chris… but not for me. Cold settles into my bones as I realize this may be my only chance to gain the upper hand. The same feeling that claimed me after learning the purpose of this mission coats me from head to toe.
“It’s only twenty feet to the compound, right?” I ask, my voice numb. Everyone linked to the headset channel hears me. Silence.
“Twenty-six,” the guy who was originally speaking says.
“What happens after that?”
Silence.
“You’ll find access into the building through the basement. A route has already been prepared through a drainage pipe,” David says.
“Once you’re in the building, I’ll guide you to Leben’s office,” says the other guy.
Chris is the only one still fuming. He looks anything but happy about my suggestion. “What happened to saying there won’t be time to escape?” he demands. “You said she was to be protected at all costs!”
There is no hesitation as I say, “I can do this. I’ll be in and out before anyone notices.”
Chris opens his mouth to argue, but I turn away and scramble up the mound of dirt and collapsed cement before sense returns to me. Chris yells at me to stop, but I am halfway through the opening by then, shoving loose rocks and dirt out of my way. I barely even feel it as the dirt beneath me collapses and my side scrapes against a broken edge of concrete. I reach for my hunger on instinct, but shove it away quickly, not wanting to waste any of my stored energy on healing an injury, not when I have work to do.
As soon as I land on solid ground, I start running. It isn’t hard to spot the opening cut into the pipe. The patch they placed over it to avoid causing a leak that would arouse suspicion is easy to yank away. The pipe smells awful, but I climb in headfirst and pull myself the blessedly short distance to the end of the pipe. Whoever was here before me already loosened the overflow drain cover, so I’m able to easily push it away. I’m crouched on the cement floor, looking for any signs of movement a second later.
The silence is eerie, but I don’t let myself ponder on it. “I’m in,” I say.
I expect the next voice I hear to be the nameless guy on the other end of the link, but instead, I hear David. “Vanessa, it’s time to dance.”
The rush his words give me is frightening, but at the same time, calming. I let down my walls, my inhibitions, and the other guy starts guiding me through the Eroi compound. I’m not sure what time of night it is, but the hallways are largely empty. I can’t really imagine why the leader of this group would be here when no one else is, but I follow each command to turn or climb without question.
It’s been less than two minutes before I slow to a cautious crouch three stories up from where I started. All the hallways are lit, and there are subtle noises of movement that I couldn’t hear anywhere else in the building. This risk of being discovered is so much greater now that I don’t dare peek around the corner. It’s up to my hunger now. Drawing on the pain I have stored up, I push my energy into focusing my senses.
Almost immediately, I hear the tap-tap of shoes on tile, but I also know those feet are two corridors from my position and walking away from me. The scent of steel, the kind that only belongs to a firearm, trails after him. He’ll be back this way in a few minutes. The gurgle of a water bottle seems loud, almost drowning out the sound of voices further down the hall. “There are at least three men down the hall to my right. Thirty feet on the left,” I say, in a voice that is almost unrecognizable to my ears.
“That’s Leben’s office.”
“Plan your approach,” David cuts in.
“Direct. There’s only one exterior door. The vents would take too long. Security will be making another round before I could handle the targets.”
I can hear the approval in his voice as he says, “Left hip pocket.”
Nodding, I make a conscious choice to turn off my earpiece. The guard is still a full minute away. Stalking forward, I turn into the hall with a blank expression and blank mind. I don’t feel anything as I reach the door and wrap my fingers around the handle. This is the only way to protect the people I love. Regret and hesitation are buried deep. Everything inside of me shuts down. One quick twist breaks the lock as my free hand slips into the pocket, wrapping around steel.
They have only a moment to look up from the table before my first knife sinks into the nearest man’s chest. Two more knives are in my hand a split second later, but I only lose one. Another pair of shocked eyes turns lifeless as the body collapses to the ground. The last man straightens slowly. He says and does nothing as I push the door closed behind me. The room is saturated with the coppery smell of blood, yet this man faces me squarely.
“He was wrong about you,” the man says, betraying himself as Noah’s master. “He would have staked his life on your inability to kill.”
“He should have staked his life on my ability to protect the people I care about.”
The man blinks. “You’re here on David’s orders, not on some crusade of protection.”
My fingers twitch. “I may be here on orders, but my goals are my own. You should have left my family alone.”
His mouth opens to speak again, but before the first words even form on his lips, his entire body goes slack. The knife protruding from his chest glints in the fluorescent light as he falls. I stare at the strangely still body, feeling absolutely nothing.
The spare blade in my off-hand slips back into the pocket, seemingly of its own free will. Turning away from him, I pause before touching the door. The guard’s footsteps are too close. I know I took too long. Escaping back the way I came is impossible. Knowing I have only one option left to me, I turn for the table. My foot is on the surface, ready to propel me toward the vent cover, but something about the papers spread across the table catch my eye.
With no time to stop and ponder them, I scoop them into a pile and stuff them down the front of my jacket. Half a second later, the vent cover is dangling as my feet disappear into darkness. It takes only a fraction of my concentration to slip the cover back into place and begin dragging myself through the vent that is barely wide enough to accommodate my shoulders. I’m well into the vents over the next room before I hear noise coming from the place I just left.
Under no delusion that my escape will be easy, I find a vent that leads upward and scramble for the first opening I can find. My feet drop lightly onto a table seconds later, and I sprint out of the room and down the hall to the nearest stair access. Boots pound down the hall behind me, into the stairwell and up the stairs. I have no idea how tall this building is, but I run with everything I have.
Somewhere along the way, I remember to turn my earpiece back on and my voice breaks in on someone demanding an answer from me. “Extraction,” I gasp. “Roof. Now.”
That’s all I can manage to spit out as I run, bursting out onto the roof seconds after the last word leaves my lips. Startled by the sudden exposure to the night sky, I skid to a stop, giving my pursuers seconds I shouldn’t to catch up with me. Eyes darting around, I look for an escape route. The helicopter I suspect is on standby somewhere is likely several miles away. I don’t know how long it will take it to reach me, but I know it won’t be fast enough.
I spot a building to the left that’s only one story shorter than the one I’m standing on. There’s a ten-foot gap, but I drop into an all-out sprint and leap from the ledge without a second thought. The split second of weightlessness elicits the first hint of emotion I’ve felt since that moment in the collapsed tunnel. It vanishes just as quickly, though, as I tuck and roll onto the coarse tar and asphalt roof on the building I was aiming for. I stumble up to my feet and keep running, not knowing or even caring if the Eroi are still chasing me. I just run. Away from the Eroi. Away from David. Away from what I just did.
It’s not until the whop of helicopter blades roars up behind me that I finally slow and look up. A ladder drops, and I grab it, swinging easily onto its rungs and climbing back up to Chris’s waiting hand. He pulls me into a bear hug and immediately demands, “What happened to your headset? We lost contact right before you approached the office.”
“I turned it off,” I answer, my voice sounding even more foreign than before.
“What? Why?”
“I didn’t want the distraction,” I lie.
Chris shakes his head at me. “What if you needed help?”
“I knew I wouldn’t.”
My wooden voice scales back his earlier excitement to get me back safely. I don’t react to the concern that slips into his expression. I can’t. He decides to leave me be for now, only saying, “David is going to have something to say about you cutting communication.”
I’m sure he’s right, but I only lean back against the stiff seat and close my eyes. Emotions quiver on the edge of my consciousness, but I refuse to give them purchase. My hunger is strangely tempered, as if leashed, but ready to rage at any moment. I was barely aware of its rise as I entered the office, its raging as I took down each of my targets, or its continued presence as I ran. Lapped up pain simmers in my core, begging for release, but I hold it close.
It seems to be only minutes before we’re approaching the compound again. I step down onto the landing platform and am faced with David. Fear of reprimand is tucked too far away for it to really touch me. I meet his gaze, expressionless. He says nothing, only grips my shoulder tightly and begins leading me toward the private dorms. We stop at a door that looks like all the others. When he opens it, I step forward, but he stops me.
“You performed very well today, Vanessa.”
I can only nod before abandoning him for the empty room and closing the door behind me. As soon as the lock flicks shut, my barriers shatter. My hands start shaking as I press them to my face. My legs are next. They give out completely as the shock of what I did tonight sets in. Sliding down the door, I gasp for breath as agony washes over me. I curl into a ball and sob, inconsolable and completely alone.