Hayden ready to play with his new sister, with his favorite truck!
We planned for my son to be present at the birth of my second child—something my partner and I felt was very important. He was almost one year old when I got pregnant—very young and still so dependent on Mummy. I was still nursing and he was my baby. Therefore, a big part of our focus during the pregnancy was to help him understand, as best as he could, what was happening inside my body. Hayden came to the midwife visits with us and listened to the baby’s heartbeat on the Doppler. He heard his own heartbeat on the Doppler, plus mine, plus his dad’s—all were heartbeats, yet all were different! We looked at pictures of babies; we noticed babies out in the community; and we watched a lot of birth videos.
During the months before the birth, my belly grew and grew. Hayden really began connecting with the baby. He could see my body changing and that something was growing inside. We continued to watch birth videos and listen to birth stories. He was really into the videos, requesting to see more, and he had his favorite births.
We also pretended to have babies. We would roar like lions, pushing and moaning as we birthed them. We cared for them, nursed them, and then tucked them into their cradles.
When my labor really began, it was while Hayden was going to bed. His dad put him to bed so that I was able to be focused on myself and the new baby. Once labor had progressed, my sister went and woke Hayden up. He snuggled into her arms and came out into our living room where the birth was happening. He knew all the people at the birth and the calm atmosphere and familiar faces made it easy for him to relax and watch. Totally at ease with my sister, he sat in amazement, with wide wonder-filled eyes—but without fear. He was awake and present for about thirty minutes before she was born. As her body was birthing, Hayden was right beside the pool and watching her come out and onto my belly. He clapped his hands and beamed with excitement to finally see this mysterious baby who was now his little sister. Everything went so smoothly. We all sat together: Mummy, Daddy, Big Brother, and Baby Sister. We just touched her, looked at her, held her, and talked to her. We laughed and cried. Hayden held her soon after and his gentle spirit shone. He also brought out two of his favorite toy cars in hope that she would want to play with him. He happily drove them over her body while she nursed.
Now, two and a half years later, they still have a special connection and are each other’s greatest friends.
Jenna and her husband Adam are both classically trained musicians. Adam is also the international dj known as “beatfarmer” with several albums to his credit. They are both home-care workers for the elderly and disabled, and have been devoted to the building of their own home for the last few years.
Hayden ready to play with his new sister, with his favorite truck!
Welcome to the family Isabella!