by Marion Linsig-Mattingly
Orange juice, crushed ice, fifty milliliters of castor oil, and one ounce of vodka. This is what our midwife Marge suggested I drink to induce labor. We were now eleven days past the due date, and hoping for a homebirth. When a woman is two weeks past her due date, she can no longer have a homebirth, so we were definitely willing to give this concoction a try. When I became pregnant, our initial plan was to have midwifery care, but to deliver the baby at a hospital. But throughout the pregnancy, the more we read, the more David and I felt safe to birth at home. In fact, the idea felt safer and more comfortable than the hospital did. I was pretty keen on having a medication-free birth, so all in all, home seemed like the best place for our baby to be born.
I really wanted to labor without our midwife present for as long as was safe and possible. I knew that I needed privacy and as little distraction as possible and that is also the reason why we chose not to have family or friends attend the birth.
It was 10 p.m. on the eve of our baby’s birth, when David and I stood holding hands in the kitchen, saying a prayer for a safe delivery and, of course, for our baby to be healthy. Slowly but surely, I managed to get that crazy castor oil screwdriver down and soon found myself in pre-labor. I managed to sit through a movie that we had rented and then thought it would be wise to set up the living room for the birth. The lights were dim and the fire was soft and warm. We had set up a mattress on the floor with our birth supplies nearby. David programmed a selection of super relaxing songs that played throughout the night—which I remember in the most intense moments helping my mind feel comfort when there was no other comfort. My contractions seemed close together but didn’t last very long. At 3 a.m., it just seemed like a good idea to phone Marge. She arrived forty-five minutes later only to say that I was barely one centimeter dilated and my “contractions” were more likely to be my colon in spasm.
This was not great news, especially when I thought I had been laboring for three hours. But most importantly, our baby seemed fine and our only concern was that its head was tilted up and not tucked into its chest. Marge suggested I belly dance. Hip circles it was. This stimulated my membranes to break, but it wasn’t a gush, just a trickle. After assessing my space, and the fact that I was only one centimeter dilated, Marge assumed it would be hours before the baby would be born. She offered to stay, but we all decided to just phone her again when the contractions seemed longer and closer together.
An hour and a half later, I was on the phone with Marge again because I was throwing up and in severe pain. She arrived the second time within about twenty minutes. She checked my cervix and much to the surprise of all of us I was eight centimeters dilated and screaming, “I have to push!” It was an incredible, involuntary urge that I could not control.
In an effort to try and slow things down, Marge suggested I move onto my hands and knees. I just remember her running in and out of the room saying, “You’re doing great, Marion.” David was by my side all night and I couldn’t have imagined laboring without his quiet, strong, and loving touch.
My pain became unbearable as my contractions were right on top of one another. There was no breathing time in between. I couldn’t get a breath in and at some moments the pain was so severe that I thought that I was going to die. And as those thoughts had passed, there was a knowing inside of me when I could just surrender long enough to catch a breath, and I could trust. Trust that my body could and would deliver this baby.
At some point, the second midwife Courtney arrived. I had moved to my side because it felt like the right position to be in. David held my left leg in the air and had his other arm under my head. After pushing for only about forty-five minutes, while screaming at the top of my lungs some very terrible words, the final stretch came (no pun intended!). I remember hearing David’s voice: “Marion, Marion, Courtney is telling you to stop pushing because the head is out.” That final push was just incomprehensible. It is so hard to believe that your vagina can stretch that much, not to mention the burning pain. It is best described by Marge: “It feels like you’re shitting out a fridge.” Amazingly, I didn’t tear, and had just a slight stretch on one of my labia.
So at 8:20 a.m., eyes wide open and arms stretched out, came our beautiful baby. This little beauty was finally in my arms. At least one or two minutes had passed before Courtney asked, “Well, is it a boy or a girl?” It was something we wondered about every day of my pregnancy and in the end it seemed so insignificant. None of us knew until we opened up her legs, it was a girl and she was amazing!
Without any problems or hesitation, Nadiya latched on and nursed immediately. I remember the placenta then making its way out. It was soft and warm and not at all painful. I was running on such high adrenalin, it was hard for me to make decisions. Thankfully, Marge knew just what I needed. She suggested that David and Nadiya lie on the couch skin-to-skin—so beautiful. Marge had my clothes ready for me and put me to bed with my new family. I did not sleep for four days and nights—I just lay awake staring at my baby. The adrenalin is what I think is Nature’s way for a mother to be there for her baby in those first couple of days and nights.
As we look back on Nadiya’s birth, we feel so blessed and grateful to have had the chance to give birth naturally to a beautiful, healthy girl. As painful as it was, I would do it again the same way. From the moment Nadiya was born, she was in our care and at home!
Marion and her family live in Victoria. She is a massage therapist and loves to dance.