IN THE SPIRIT OF HOMEBIRTH

From the moment of conception, I knew that this child had a calling and was using my body to enter this world. We discovered that we were pregnant on a journey to the Hawaiian Island. There were some remarkable signs that led to the discovery of our being pregnant. On a nature walk, I found a wild ginger flower that tales say only appears when someone is fertile or pregnant. And sometime after that, when we were hitchhiking, we got picked up by a couple that was from the Kootenay Valley in BC—and oddly she told us that she was a midwife.

Once we got back to BC, we contacted her, telling her that the signs were true and that we were pregnant. Becoming pregnant for the first time was a marking spot for my own spiritual growth. I became so in tune with my own body and cycles. I loved watching every bit of me change with the growing of this new life. Throughout my life, I have had to deal with times of fearful imagination, but under these circumstances I had no second thoughts or fear relating to the birthing of this child at home. We lived in a small town called Kaslo in the Kootenays which had a little hospital, but it was not really equipped for birthing. This didn’t bother us, as we really wanted a homebirth. The pregnancy helped me to honor my body and its primary purpose to give and feed this new life. I was very connected to God and to the Mother Earth.

The Mother and Father have seeded themselves inside my womb

We called to you and you heard our calling

I always knew you had been listening to my prayers

Now you have arrived, welcome to my body.

May my physical shape comfort your spirit and help guide you to this world

I pray your transition is safe and that your spirit remains intact.

The Mother and Father themselves are manifesting inside of me I am connected to the World, the earth, the spirit, the sky, the river is flowing through me

I have never been so blessed. Thank you, Amber

Our midwife prepared us as to what to expect during the labor and delivery of this baby. She coached me on breathing techniques and positive affirmations. I had a lot of dreams around the baby and positioning, some of which I shared with her and some of which I kept to myself. I didn’t want to speak of images that seemed negative. Later, I learned that all messages are sent for a reason even if they appear dark.

When labor began, it was slow and steady and quite peaceful. The rushes were gentle and I had been told to welcome them—each rush could be viewed as part of the opening-up process.

During the first hours I danced, walked, rested, made love, and bathed in each lingering moment. It was as if I was in some drug-induced euphoria. After quite some time, my midwife approached me about moving the process along faster. It had already been about twenty hours. She brought me to the bathroom that was nicely lit with candles. I sat down on the toilet and she started to rub my belly in a circular fashion. This brought about my contractions and quickly. My dilation was already at eight centimeters. My midwife told me to close my eyes and concentrate on the contractions and to use guided imagery to move through them rather than resist them. I imagined swimming out in the ocean toward a big wave that was peaking, and turned to ride the wave back to shore just as the contraction peaked and subsided. Guided imagery is a great tool to use for the birthing process, especially if the woman in labor is as mental as me . . . hahd!

Next thing you know, I wanted to push. I needed to get up and walk around to take the strain off my back. We had a bed set up in the living room where Anwyn’s dad was resting—we embraced the process together and prepared for the delivery of our child.

Transition brought on a wave of nausea and it came up fast, along with an overwhelming need to urinate—both of which hit the floor. My midwife checked that the baby was coming down, which she was. I had not lost my birth waters but that last check brought them out all over my midwife. She did one last check that hung the energy in the room, next thing you know I saw them switch the oxygen tank on and she whispered something to her assistant. She looked me squarely in the eye and said, “OK Amber, it’s TIME for this baby to breathe fresh air!” I had already been pushing for quite some time before all this, so I was feeling pretty exhausted. Even though I felt as though I was working with the process, now that I have had three other children, I can see that I was being really being resistant at the same time. But after I heard those words and felt a wave of panic fly through me, I resisted no more. I felt the fear of God flow through me and with that I pushed and pushed and pushed that baby out. My midwife stopped me when the baby was crowning. I remember her telling me to touch her head, so I reached down to my vaginal opening and there she was—oh the joy! One more big push and her head was out.

Her eyes were open and dark like a sphinx. She was white, then blue, and with one hit of oxygen, she was Welcome, Anwyn Luna! as pink as a baby should be. Up onto my chest she was delivered. I put her so quickly to my breast I hadn’t even checked if she was a girl or a boy. “Rub her little feet,” I kept hearing. Oh! I was so relieved. Our daughter was strong and beautiful 7lbs 11oz baby girl who wanted to live and now had the chance.

I found out later why my waters would not break—they were keeping her cord afloat, which had prolapsed before her head crowned. I had seen that in a vision a month earlier in a dream—a vision I dared not share. Now I know better.

We kept the placenta attached for a short time to see the tree of life with its veins. We cauterized the cord with the flame of two beeswax candles—an old technique passed down to the midwives from the old country.

My second pregnancy came three years after my first birth with Anwyn. My husband Yeorgios and I (not Anwyn’s Dad) decided on a homebirth and contacted a Kootenay-based midwife. At the time, we owned a log home in the Ainsworth Hotsprings area. Our pregnancy was great. There were no complications, with the baby remaining healthy all the way through the trimesters. We were due February 14 and our midwife did not feel comfortable delivering so far away from the hospital in Nelson. The drive may have been even longer due to bad weather conditions, so we opted to use the Nelson Hospital. One great perk was that the hospital had been recently renovated and the rooms were beautiful—rose colored with nice wood finishing—and there was a huge birthing pool.

Close to my due date, I had lots of strong Braxton Hicks contractions, so I felt that the birth could happen any day. On the fourteenth, I went into what I call the fanatic cleaning stage that happens to most women. It seems women get this great abundance of energy a few days prior to birth. I was wiping walls, cleaning stairs, and going for long walks up the mountain with my mother and dogs. Well, on one walk I felt my labor begin and when those rushes started they did not slow down. Unlike my first pregnancy that lingered slowly, this one was ready to go. The first rushes were twenty minutes apart, then fifteen minutes, then ten. They were strong and lasted quite some time— long enough to stop me in my path. And believe me, it is not easy to stop me in my path. That is one thing I can say about labor: it is powerful like the waves of the sea.

We decided it was time to take that forty-five minute drive to Nelson. Our bags were all packed and off we went. Our midwife met us there in the ward and did the routine checks. I was at five centimeters. She asked me if I would like to try to birth in the water and I agreed. I labored in the water for about an hour when I started to feel the urge to push. Laboring in water was a great relief for the back pain I was experiencing. My babies seem to like the posterior position best. After being in the tub, my midwife did another check on the table and a strong rush came as she was still inside of me. This caused a pop and the baby’s birth waters came out again all over my midwife. I jumped up for I felt that I was literally going to poo on the bed and I felt extremely embarrassed. My husband walked me to the bathroom where I checked myself and right there was my baby’s head. Oh no! She was going to come out—right there, right now. They rushed over and she was delivered. Out she slid in one more push. Oh, her little face was so squished and rosy. She looked like a peony flower, round and flushed full. Our Sophia Ruby Anne was born and suckled so perfectly. I was up quickly for I still felt great—it all happened so fast that I was not worn out like my first birth.

As soon as she was checked and I could urinate, I packed our things and we drove on home. It almost felt as if we never left home. We were all curled up with our new babe within hours.

We had two more exceptional births after Sophia’s birth. Both boys were born at home. We moved to Salmon Arm when we were pregnant with Samuel, our first son, in the summer. There was only one midwife in the whole area and she was swamped with babies to birth. We worked with a very open-minded doctor throughout the pregnancy. I consider myself very lucky for I haven’t had any complications during my pregnancies. Obviously there are the normal symptoms, but my babies all seemed to know just what to do inside. Mental note: they are not as cooperative out here . . . haha!

My husband and I had a long talk about possibly just birthing our baby at home on our own. I really did not like the local hospital or staff. He was very nervous but after long hours of reading Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin, he felt that we could do it if necessary. I did agree that if the labor got difficult we could just as easily go to the hospital that was close. The hospital did have the ability to birth babies, unlike the small facility in Kaslo, where Anwyn was born.

On August 5, around three in the morning, I felt that my contractions were definitely speeding up—and, yes, a few days earlier I had been going through my mad nesting stage. In the morning, when my husband and kids awoke, I told them that our baby was going to bless us on that day. We called Gramma to come to pick up the kids—she did not know that I was in labor and we purposely did not quite tell her, for we knew she would not like our plans. But the truth is, you need to do what feels right for you and your family, even if the world, and your parents, do not agree with it. Do you agree with all their decisions?

So the kids were gone around 11:30 a.m. and boy oh boy did I ever put on a mask during her visit. I was actually getting some seriously strong contractions at the time she was there. I can hardly think of how I did that now. Right when she left, I had my husband draw a small bath for my back was aching. I relaxed in the bath as he prepped our birthing area.

I got out of the bath. A friend had come to help out a bit and I had her help me check whether I was fully dilated on my bed. I had watched my midwife do it and knew what to feel for inside me. I felt my cervix and it was open—I could tell by my contractions but I also just wanted to make sure there was no lip or problem. Well, what do you know, but as my fingers (with a latex glove) were up there, a contraction swarmed up, and pop there went my waters all over my friend—this seems to be a pattern! I felt I needed to use the washroom, but this time it was for real. The baby was coming and fast. There was no time to get me to the nice area my husband worked so hard to prepare. I was not moving. I yelled for Yeorgios and told him to get down there and deliver his son because he was coming. I really wish I had slowed myself down with my breathing, but I wanted the whole process to be over. I pushed and pushed and pushed like the huffing and puffing wolf in the little pig story. And the house blew down and that big eight-pound baby boy came out with a pop! His big, beautiful, blonde head—and there he was. One more push and we delivered his shoulders and body—oh I love that last rush when the baby slips out—relief like none other can tell. Up onto my chest and again another great suckler. He was pink and perfect.

After the placenta was delivered, we moved to a clean spot and cauterized the cord with candles. That process is one I would recommend. It is a slow, gentle way of releasing the placenta, which kept our baby fed and nourished. We examined the placenta to see the tree of life in its veins—a very healthy organ.

We called Gramma back—she had not even arrived at her home yet—so she turned around to come back to see her newest grandchild. The girls were ecstatic.

Then came our newest baby Xavier Demetre Sintinhakis. He was born at home on September 28.

I met our midwife at a movie viewing that was put on by the Okanagan Collage. She was from Vancouver but was moving to the area. When I found out we were pregnant, we called her and she was available. We really wanted to have a midwife this time around—even though Samuel’s birth was a success, there was a lot of unnecessary stress that is avoided with having a midwife.

Jasmine and I got along great; it turned out that she too had had an unassisted birth. Our pregnancy was great. The baby grew perfectly and was kicking away. When we had our ultrasound we asked not to be told the gender of this child. We wanted to be surprised. The day of delivery came along with another fanatic desire to clean every inch of my house—my husband and kids must have thought I was crazy. At eight-thirty at night, I still thought the dishwasher needed to be bleached, when all of a sudden drip drip drip drip. Something was dripping from inside of me. Now I was accustomed to losing my bladder control sometimes in my pregnancies, but this had a pinky appearance. There was not a lot of it so I was confused. Anwyn called me from her room for a kiss goodnight. I walked over there and leaned over to kiss her when drip drip drip, there came some more. She thought I was peeing myself. I tried to explain that I thought it might be the birth waters.

I called Jasmine who lived about an hour away. I told her what I was experiencing and she decided to come, saying the baby would most likely be born that night.

What excitement. I was a whole week early. We prepared our living room with an old mattress that we covered with a plastic cover and sheets, pillows, and blankets that I did not care for. At homebirths, usually everything is discarded after. When Jasmine arrived, she examined me and I was in fact in labor and already partially dilated.

We talked for a bit as the rushes came on and off but eventually, around midnight, I found talking distracting. My husband had fallen asleep on the couch beside me and Jasmine quickly did her paperwork while I went within to concentrate on the work ahead of me. With each wave of contractions, I quickly envisioned climbing a mountain as the contraction came on and as it peaked, I reached the top, and as it subsided, I saw myself fly off into the air amongst the eagles. This eased the opening-up process.

I had learned a song that I always sang to myself during labor. It goes like this:

It is sung again and again in a round. The opening is chanted and the deep O sound allows your deepest parts to open and allows the life to come through you.

I let Jasmine know the time had come. We woke Yeorgios and he got ready. I pushed and did not want to move. I held on tight to my husband’s hand and eased through each contraction. Jasmine talked me through each contraction and assured me of the good work I was doing. I could feel the baby descending—this time

instead of pushing hard I breathed and let go, relaxing through the push. Our baby was now crowning. My husband felt the head at my vaginal opening. He had tears in his eyes. One more deep breath and one more strong push and the baby’s head was born. Oh how I wanted to just keep pushing but Jasmine told me, “It’s OK, your baby will be born in a few minutes.” That helped me to come to the present moment and just enjoy the experience. And then there he was, another beautiful healthy baby boy. The loudness must have awakened Anwyn, for she peeped her head around the corner. We welcomed her into the room and told her that Mommy was OK, and that she had a new brother. The other two little ones slept through the whole experience but in the morning they were so excited to meet their new brother.

Overall, I am so happy about all my birth experiences and I would suggest homebirths to any family who desires to labor and receive the gift of a new life in the most comfortable place: the Home.

Amber is a stay-at-home mother and herbal apothecary, and she has trained as a doula. Her main focus is “maintaining a very spiritual home and life." CLEO’S BIRTH:

MY FAMILY