Family was the subject of Tuesday evening’s feng shui class. To everyone’s delight, Joel arrived, looking tired but happy. He reported that Diana was home again and starting to eat a little. Jill couldn’t wait to tell him about Denny’s generous offer of a painting. She walked over and began explaining the colors in the painting, how the scene depicted a Scottish mountain range, and how nice it would look in his stairway. She finished by telling him that the artist wanted to give them the painting so that Diana could regain her health.
“Joel, this painting is perfect for your health area,” she said. “You’ll love it.”
“Wow, I don’t know what to say.” Joel raked his lower teeth over his upper lip, looking as if he might decline the gift. “Why would he do something that nice for people he doesn’t even know?”
“I think he’s paying it forward in thanks for his own good fortune. Trust me, he really wants you to have it.”
“I hope we can thank him personally,” Joel said.
“Actually, I’m pretty sure he’ll insist on hanging the painting himself to make sure it’s displayed to best advantage.” They headed into the classroom. “Let’s aim for this weekend, if that works for the two of you.”
As she began her remarks for tonight’s talk on the family square of the bagua, she remembered her student Joni’s earlier comment that the family area was what she most wanted to enhance in her home. Jill knew from a quick conversation in the parking lot one evening that Joni’s parents had divorced and remarried, and were now divorced again. Joni had alluded to substance abuse issues with one of her parents, as well. In addition, an elderly, wealthy uncle created havoc in the family with his constant threats of cutting family members out of his will if they didn’t abide by his wishes or agree with his ultra-liberal politics.
“For most of us, family is the source of our greatest joys, but also some of our most painful moments,” Jill began. “Family is supposed to mean security and unconditional love. That’s what we believe and what we want, but it’s not always the reality.”
She held up the bagua and pointed to the family area, which was located in the middle left hand square. “The family area in feng shui borders knowledge and skills, prosperity, and health. Remember, these areas all overlap in important ways. If you’re trying to learn something, family members are often willing and able to help. We need to learn about one another so that we can interact most effectively. When we’re in trouble financially, family members often come to our rescue. When we hit the jackpot, we usually take care of family first. When stress occurs within the family, we can become sick. We suffer when a family member is ill. You get the picture.”
“Some families won’t help each other because it would mean having to actually communicate or compromise,” Joni said with an edge to her voice. “I keep hoping things will change in my family, but it seems unlikely. Feng shui can’t change how someone else behaves.” She paused. “Can it?”
“If it’s your intention that relations be better within your family, then feng shui can help,” Jill insisted. “It can’t change difficult personalities, but it can change how we view them. Often, that change in ourselves gets reflected back to us by the other person. If it doesn’t, it may not be in our best interests for that relationship to continue.” She paused as she realized the significance of those words in her own life.
“Let’s review the creative elements for this area, which are wood and water. The most important shape is the rectangle. This gives you a lot of creative possibilities with photos and art. Hang family portraits in rectangular wood frames. Put a nice green plant in this area, but be sure to keep it well watered. Dead plants aren’t good in any area, by the way. At holiday time, if you have a Christmas tree, place it in this area and arrange gifts for other family members under it. I know someone who hung family snapshots with green thread on a ficus tree.” She grinned. “Maybe that’s not your decorating style, but if you want to fix a family argument fast, hanging their photos together on that tree would certainly do the trick from a feng shui perspective.”
“I was thinking more of a wooden dartboard decorated with their photos, but that probably wouldn’t show good intent,” Joni commented, rolling her eyes.
Jill shook her finger at her. “Shame on you,” she said, laughing. “Those metal darts would be an even more destructive element, since metal cuts wood. Don’t do that.”
“What about colors?” Trish asked. “What if you don’t want to paint the room green?”
“Green really is the best color in this area, I believe, but there are so many shades—even whites that have the merest touch of green. Black is another power color because it represents water, but you definitely don’t want to paint a room black. Just avoid stark white, which is metal. If you do have any metal or white in that area, you can fix those elements by adding the color red for fire, which melts metal. My mother had a white bedroom in her family area, and she really liked the airiness of the room, so I painted the walls a shade of white that had a subtle green tint. It’s called ‘woodland white,’ which made her happy, but even the name of the paint was good because it brought trees to mind. She had a white cloth-covered headboard on the bed, too, so we reupholstered it in a muted red, gold, and green print. Then I helped her pick out a lot of green hanging plants for the windows. I’m happy to report our family is very secure in my mother’s love for us.”
She grinned. “If you knew my mother, you’d also know that it was quite a stretch for her to accept my help. I’m not even sure she believes in feng shui. She’s a very self-sufficient, super-resourceful person who takes pride in helping other people fix their problems. By the way, my mother is Nancy Brenneman of Nancy Knows.”
Members of the class reacted to the news with surprise and excitement. Even the men were well acquainted with Nancy Knows. Over the course of her life, Jill had grown accustomed to having a well-known mother, although Nancy never flaunted her fame. In fact, life in the Brenneman household had always been relatively normal, with both parents home for dinner each night and Nancy leading Jill’s Girl Scout troop and singing alto in the church choir.
This familiarity with celebrity life contributed to Jill’s comfort level when David’s star began to rise. The only difference was that David reveled in his celebrity status. Jill’s mother handled her renown differently, which is what Jill had expected from David. It didn’t hurt David’s star status, either, that his mother-in-law was a celebrity. Jill preferred privacy and quiet times at home, just like her mother.
“Geez, Jill, with all the celebrities in your life, I don’t know how you can be so down-to-earth,” Meredith said, shaking her head. “You’re one of the most calm, together people I’ve ever met.”
Jill rolled her eyes. “Hah! If you only knew the truth, Meredith—but that’s nice of you to say. For the sake of our discussion, let’s chalk up my temperament to feng shui and the feeling of calm and order that it brings.” She passed out a drawing outlining the elements important in tonight’s discussion. “And if you honestly believe I have everything under control after events of the recent past, look again. Like everyone else, I’m learning to adapt. I’m making improvements to my own home and thinking up good intentions for the future.”
After class, she walked to the parking lot with Joni, a tall, elegant woman who rarely spoke up in class. When she did, it was usually a word of support for what others were experiencing. Jill knew that Joni valued family, even if her own extended family brought pain.
“I don’t want you to get the impression I’m unhappy,” Joni told her as they stood in front of Jill’s Subaru. “I’ve got a good life with my husband and our two teenage daughters. My husband provides well for us, and I have a successful business on the side doing what I love. I’m certainly not scarred by my past or anything as dramatic as all that. It’s more about wanting to help bring my family together. Either that, or cut the ties as much as possible.”
“Cutting all ties with blood relatives, no matter how much it may feel like a bloodletting, seems rather drastic. Let’s try some feng shui and see if we can bring about a more positive outcome.” Jill patted Joni’s arm. “See you Thursday.”
As she drove home, Jill thought about how much she enjoyed teaching the class and how glad she was that she no longer felt nervous or awkward in front of a group. Maybe it was because she believed so strongly in the power of feng shui to bring about change. It was easy to be enthusiastic when the subject was second nature to her. She’d begun to think more often of a television show about feng shui, but wasn’t sure how to make that happen. Perhaps, next time they talked, she could ask David whether he knew anyone at the Home and Hearth television network.
These days they spoke about twice a week to maintain lines of communication and keep David in the loop about house expenses, their sons, and Missy’s pregnancy. She continued to hope he’d make an effort on his own to improve those relationships. Earlier in the week, there had been discussions through their attorneys about the house. As a result, Jill was guaranteed that she could continue to live in the home as long as she wanted, but if she sold it, David would receive a percentage of the equity. David, of course, wanted her to sell the house sooner rather than later, but had agreed in principle to this arrangement. With David in agreement on all other matters regarding taxes, retirement assets, and investments, finalizing the divorce was just a waiting game. Jill still had to make a final decision that this was what she wanted.
“I can’t believe you’ll want to stay in that big house all alone the rest of your life,” David said one evening over the phone.
She chose to ignore the part about all alone the rest of your life. “I’m not ready to move,” she said simply. “I’d like to take a year or so to consider my options. There have been too many changes, and I want to get used to the way things are now.”
“Jill, you know I never intended to hurt you.” It was as close to an apology, she knew, as David would ever get.
“I do know that,” she answered quietly. “On some level, though, you must have known what you were doing would hurt me, if I found out.” When he didn’t respond, she continued, “Whatever happens, it’s important for us to have only best wishes for each other. After so many years together, it wouldn’t have been easy to split up, no matter how it happened. What’s important now is that we don’t forget about the kids’ feelings.”
“Liam won’t speak to me at all,” David said.
“Liam might find it easier to accept who you are if you try to accept who he is,” Jill said mildly. She heard a long outpouring of breath on the other end of the line. “Talk to him, David. You’re his father, and no matter what happens, he loves you and needs to feel that you love and support him, too.”
That night, before crawling into bed, she reviewed the family areas of her house: the den on the first floor and a guest bedroom on the second floor. She put all the wedding photos into a box in the hall closet, but left photos on display of David with the twins and with Missy. Because of their sons, David would always be family, especially with a baby on the way. Jill believed it was important to embrace every member of the family—to heal past hurts and nurture healthier new relationships. She wanted Finn and Liam to grow closer to their father, and this was the intent she set forth as she enhanced the family areas of the house.
As she dusted and vacuumed the family areas on both floors of the house, she hummed along to a popular song on her iPod. A sense of contentment and well-being washed over her. She continued clearing out the old to make room for the new, realizing that it was a relief to put away old family photos that had caused pain in light of David’s affair. Many of these photos showing them as a perfect couple with the perfect family had been taken while David was having his affair. With David gone from their home, she could display photos of Liam and Brian in plain view. In the family area downstairs, David’s den, she decided to box up his books and put them in storage. Her grandmother’s collection of teapots would look lovely on those shelves. While David lived there, it had never been an option.
She wondered if Tom was right. Had there been so much pressure on her marriage that it was a relief to finally end the pretense? Had she and David simply grown apart?
When Jill arrived that Thursday at Joni’s home in Westport, it was obvious from the size of the house and the manicured grounds around it that Joni and her husband, Pete, were quite wealthy. She parked behind Joni’s Lexus SUV in the driveway, noticing a sleek gray Porsche parked near a private tennis court. She rang the doorbell and waited until Joni appeared, dressed in a pale blue cashmere sweater and navy dress slacks. Diamond earrings even larger than the enormous diamond wedding rings on her manicured hands twinkled in the afternoon sunlight.
“Please come in,” Joni said, leading Jill through a house that could only be described as opulent. Vaulted ceilings with enormous crystal chandeliers, richly colored Oriental rugs, and valuable antiques were on display in every room. Yet the main living areas were comfortable and surprisingly casual.
“Everything looks spectacular, Joni,” Jill said. “Are you in the antiques business?”
Joni laughed self-consciously as her face reddened. “I’m in the chocolate business. I make and sell specialty chocolates.”
“I didn’t know that! Would I have seen your candy in a store?”
“My candies are called Joni’s Delights. They’re available by mail order or through a few specialty shops,” she said. “I make candy in a kitchen at the back of the house and sell it online and through catalogues. I’ll give you a sample of everything before you leave.”
“I’d love to try them. I didn’t know about this side of you.” Jill was intrigued. “You’re usually so quiet in class.”
“I’m accustomed to keeping a low profile, I guess—safer that way. Anyhow, in answer to your question about the antique furniture, a lot of what you see has been handed down through the family. This house was built by my great-grandfather. I grew up here because my grandparents, who inherited the house, insisted I stay with them from the time I was about ten until I graduated from college.” She shrugged unselfconsciously. “My parents were always fighting, and my father is an alcoholic who abuses painkillers. He was thrown from a horse during a polo match in college, and it caused a lot of back pain. It affects his personality. Or rather,” she said carefully, “the manner in which he chooses to medicate himself affects his personality.”
“Did you enjoy living with your grandparents?”
“I adored Nana and PapPap. The only trouble was that it became just another resentment my mother piled up against her parents. She knew better than to fight my grandmother, though. Too much was at stake.”
Jill raised an eyebrow in question. “It’s such a shame that your mother couldn’t get along with her own parents, and now that’s spilling over into the next generation. But why?”
“Inheritance.” Joni spit the word out. “It’s always about the ever-lovin’ money.”
They walked down the hallway into the music room, where the most enormous grand piano Jill had ever seen was clearly the centerpiece. There were a few paintings on the walls—obviously originals—and an elegant crystal chandelier on the piano. But other than the piano and its green velvet-covered bench, the room held no other furnishings.
“This is the so-called family area of the house,” Joni said. “As you can see, it isn’t used for anything other than a place to store this piano, which is my mother’s. She was a concert pianist, but she stopped playing many years ago. My husband doesn’t play, and neither do I. Our daughters were never interested in taking lessons, so the room isn’t really used by anyone. It’s just a place to display my mother’s piano.” She shrugged.
“This is definitely not good feng shui,” Jill observed, wondering how such a gorgeous grand piano could remain untouched. “The family area is supposed to be about positive relationships. There ought to be life in this room: people playing and milling around the piano, enjoying time together. I can think of all kinds of ways to enhance this room, but I’m curious why you don’t have other furniture or personal photos in this space. Is there a reason why there’s nothing but a piano?”
Joni screwed up her face in a grimace. “Not really. I guess I just don’t like this room very much. It has a lot of bad memories, so I don’t care to spend time in here.” She frowned. “I should probably explain. This house was supposed to go to my mother after my grandparents died, but they left the house to me, instead. My husband and I had a small starter home over in Darien that suited us just fine. Of course, he and I were thrilled to get this house after my grandfather died, but there were a lot of hard feelings that it was given to me. Finally, though, we decided to accept it and move in because we realized we were fulfilling my grandparents’ wishes.”
She sighed deeply and blew out a long breath. “All these years, the house has been at the heart of a lot of my family’s squabbles. I have a much older sister and brother who thought the house should be sold so that each of them could benefit as well. But that wasn’t what my grandparents wanted. They were angry at my mother for marrying my father, to begin with, and then divorcing and remarrying him. They didn’t want her to have the house because they didn’t want him living here or getting his hands on it. The reason they gave it to me was because I lived here for so many years with them and because they didn’t want the house to be sold to strangers. I guess they trusted me to honor their wishes and keep this house in the family.”
The truth of what Joni was saying was evident from the pained expression on her face. Jill sat down on the piano bench and waited silently for Joni to continue. Joni surveyed the room, her eyes glittering with emotion. She seemed to be lost in thought, reliving some past, sad time.
“My uncle thought it was wrong that I got the house, so he included my siblings in his will and cut me out entirely. That seems fair, and I truly don’t care. The trouble is, every time my brother or sister disagrees with Unc’s politics or intervenes when he behaves badly at family gatherings, he threatens to change his will. Then they start in again about the house. That opens the door for my mother to say that this is really her house, not mine.”
She stopped for a breath. “Before my parents’ second divorce, my father pressured me to sell the house so that everyone in the family could benefit. But Jill, I don’t want to sell it because it really is my home. I’ve lived here for many years, and I’ve raised my children here. Plus, I really do care about honoring my grandparents’ wishes.”
“Would it help if the piano was gone? Would your mother want it in her own home?”
“I’ve already offered it to her. She’s adamant that it belongs in this house and that it could be damaged in a move, which is entirely possible.” Joni blew out a breath.
“Well, then, let’s feng shui this room.” Jill rubbed her hands together. “First, I want you to gather as many happy family photos as you can. Make sure they are framed in wood, not metal.”
Joni pulled open two louvered closet doors and lifted out a large box containing framed and loose photographs. “There are some beautiful photos of my parents with my brother, sister, and me when I was little. There’s another one somewhere in here of my mother and Unc.” She began rifling through them.
“Arrange your favorites, the ones that bring you pleasure, all around the room at eye level,” Jill said. “You want to feel happy when you see them. That’s part of the good intention you’re setting forth.”
Joni looked intently at a photo of her mother sitting at the piano in a full-skirted black evening dress, a string of pearls about her long, graceful neck. “She looks so happy in this photo. This was before she married my father the first time.” Joni looked up at Jill. “What else do you think I ought to do besides hang these photos?”
“The colors in this room need to be serene, warm, and inviting. You’ve got a beautiful, creamy-vanilla color in here, but it needs to be something other than such a light shade of white. Remember, white is metal. We want wood and water to be center stage. I’m going to ask a color specialist for his opinion on this, but I see a warm olive green, which represents trees and plants. You’ve already got gorgeous hardwood floors, but I want you to take up that white rug right away. Use it somewhere else, like in your creativity and children area, or perhaps the knowledge and skills room. The piano is black, which is the color of water, so the place it holds in the room is actually a strong, supporting element to the wood.”
Jill put one finger to her lips as a new thought formed. “It would be nice if your mother could see the room after you’re finished enhancing it. Does she still like to play this piano?”
Joni let out a harsh laugh. “The only one who touches this piano is the housekeeper, whenever she dusts it.”
“Wouldn’t it be nice if your mother could sit down to play this piano at a family gathering?”
Joni’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. They trickled down her cheeks, leaving traces in her otherwise perfect makeup. She wiped them away with her fingertips and paused for a few moments to regain her composure. “I remember when I was a little girl and she sat down to play “Greensleeves” for my grandfather. He always stood near the piano, sucking on his cold pipe. He didn’t actually smoke.” Her breath caught as she fought back a sob at the memory and then let out a choking kind of laugh. “He sucked on that pipe when he was thinking extra hard about something. He would listen to her play with such pride. Afterward, he would always say the same thing: ‘I have never heard you play that song so beautifully, Paget.’ That’s my mom’s name: Paget.”
“What a sweet memory, Joni. It’s one that you ought to keep in mind as you enhance this space. I hope you’ll find this to be a healing process and that you’ll actually enjoy fixing this room. I’d love to see it when you’re done.” Jill picked up her handbag in preparation to leave.
“Please don’t go just yet.” Joni reached out and placed her hand on Jill’s arm. “I’d like for you to come into my kitchen studio, as I call it, and let me treat you to some of Joni’s Delights.”
“That sounds wonderful. Thank you,” Jill said. She followed Joni down the stairs and through a long hallway to a lower level of the house that was equipped with commercial kitchen equipment, including a large gas stove, double oven, dishwasher, and walk-in refrigerator. Long tables were covered in trays of fresh chocolates ready to be boxed. Colored foils and tissue-filled boxes were lined up on nearby shelves. The rich smell of chocolate hung in the air until Jill was sure she would smell it on her skin for days.
“You have your choice of espresso truffles, cherry cordials, caramel and sea salt squares, blueberry crèmes, thin peppermints, pecan turtles, peanut butter melts, and almond clusters, all freshly made, of course.” Joni washed her hands, pulled on latex gloves, and donned a white lab jacket with embroidery on the breast pocket that read, “Joni, Chief Chocolate Artist.”
Jill’s eyes were wide with amazement as she surveyed the display of candy. “I don’t think I can decide. May I try one of each?”
“You certainly may.” Joni deftly began wrapping chocolates in colored foil and shiny paper wrappers and placing them in a three-pound box. “One is never enough, you know. With this many, you can share.”
“I’d better share if you’re giving me that much chocolate,” Jill said, laughing. “I have to ask, though. Whatever led you into the chocolate business?”
“I came by my interest in chocolate genetically, you might say,” Joni answered with a twinkle in her eye. “Nana’s family owned a large candy business in New Jersey, and she taught me how to make candy when I was just a little girl. I’d stand on a stepstool at the kitchen island, and during the holidays, help her make chocolates for our family members and friends.” She handed a turtle to Jill, who bit into it and closed her eyes in bliss.
“Joni, this is divine.”
“Why bother eating it if it’s not? That’s the whole point. Chocolate-making is an art and a science intended to produce pleasure,” she said, looking up from her task. “Nana told me you have to love your work. If you don’t really love making candy, it won’t taste as good.” She handed the box to Jill with a flourish.
“This is such an unexpected treat,” Jill said, pretending that her knees were buckling under the weight of the heavy candy box. “I can’t help thinking that between decadent chocolates and that concert piano, your family ought to share only happy times together. I’d love to hear how things go after you make those enhancements to your music room upstairs.”
Joni grinned widely and gave Jill a spontaneous hug. “You just gave me the best feng shui idea of all.”