David called just after nine o’clock that evening as Jill was getting ready to crawl into bed. “Hey, I haven’t heard from you since Sunday evening,” he said without preamble. “I thought we might have a chance to talk again about, well, you know.”
“I’m sorry,” she started to say, and stopped herself. She had no need to apologize for anything. It was her habit with David to begin most responses with an apology. “I’m afraid I’ve had other things on my mind today. Tom had a heart attack this afternoon.”
David was silent, shocked, as Jill gave him the details. “He’ll be fine, but he’s got to make some serious lifestyle changes.”
“I know we’re at an age where this stuff happens, but it still throws me when someone we’ve known for years has a life-threatening event,” David said.
“It doesn’t seem like any time at all since we were in college,” Jill admitted. “But we are ‘at that age.’ I’m just grateful there were so many people around when it happened, and that he’s going to be okay.”
“This is all the more reason to consider where we go from here,” David said. “We don’t know what twists and turns life will throw at us. We need to appreciate each day we have. It’s time to remember what brought us together.”
She was silent, considering whether it might be possible that David had done some serious soul-searching. In time, could she really forgive him and forget the past? Could she learn to trust him again without waiting for the other shoe to drop? Would she ever get the image of David with another woman out of her head?
“Honey, I want us to start over again,” David said. Let’s have dinner Saturday evening and get reacquainted. It can be just the two of us, just like the old days.”
“Okay,” she said, vaguely considering the pros and cons. “I could come into the city.”
She wanted to avoid the likelihood that David would insist on driving to Connecticut, which might result in him being too tired to drive home. The idea of making love with David was too painful to contemplate. She wanted to keep him at a safe distance until she figured out what to do next.
“Why don’t you meet me at my apartment, and we can walk over to Anthony’s? You like that place,” David said. “We’ll have a nice dinner and see what happens after that. I’ll make reservations for seven fifteen.”
Jill was fairly certain she had never been to Anthony’s, but chose not to comment. She also had a clear picture of what David intended to happen after dinner. She wasn’t sure that if things went well, she’d be able to resist his charms. Whatever happened next in their lives couldn’t be solved by sex. Of that she was quite sure.
She paused for several seconds before answering, “Okay, I’ll see you around seven. But I’ll need to drive home, so let’s make it an early evening.”
After lunch the next day, Jill met Denny at Dr. Mona Gagnon’s home in Greenwich. Mona, an attractive, vivacious flaxen-haired chiropractor with a lucrative practice, had decided to build another wing onto her home for a workout room and spa. To say that Mona’s vision was grandiose was putting it mildly. The project was estimated to cost $250,000, and constant add-ons were raising the price tag even higher.
Jill’s heart jumped when she saw Denny standing by his truck in front of Mona’s home. Her chest thumped wildly at the sight of him as she brought her car to a stop in Mona’s wide driveway. She knew it was time to be honest with him about what was happening with David, but dreaded speaking the words. Stepping out of her car, she tried to smile and failed miserably.
“Your face matches this cloudy mornin’, lass,” he observed. “Is everything okay with Tom?”
“He’s fine. Thanks for asking. In fact, he should be released from the hospital on Sunday,” she said, steeling herself as he approached her. “Denny, I need to tell you something—not about Tom. I feel terrible that I waited until now, when I should have told you earlier this week.”
“What’s the matter?” Denny’s expression was patient, his eyes kind. He looked worried, however.
The words spilled out in a flood. “David unexpectedly showed up for dinner on Sunday evening. After the kids went home, he asked me to reconsider the divorce. I know I told you my marriage is over, and I still believe it is. It’s just so hard right now to figure out what’s best for everyone.” She pressed her fingers hard against her eyes. “We’re going into the final stages of the divorce, so it’s now or never.”
“That’s a reasonable request, I’d say. You might have regrets, otherwise.”
“Thank you for understanding. So much has happened so quickly.” Jill released the pressure of her fingers, causing wild colors to swirl across her field of vision. “I know it’s the right thing to do. I just wish I felt happier about it, or at least more hopeful.”
“But it’s important to know for sure.”
“I haven’t called my attorney to stop the divorce from moving forward.” Jill looked into Denny’s eyes, expecting conflict, but saw only acceptance. “I know I can’t go back to the way things were. Too much has happened. But I said I would have dinner with him this Saturday, which will give us a chance to talk. Maybe things will be clearer after that.”
“And you need me to back off.” There was no bitterness in Denny’s voice. He shifted from one leg to the other.
To Jill, the slight space he put between them was the same as if a wall had gone up. “Don’t say it like that. I’ve got to take these next few weeks to consider what’s best for everyone, not just me. It isn’t right for me to string you along and put your life on hold, too, while I figure out what comes next.”
He was silent for a moment before clearing his throat. “Jill, you’re behaving as if it’s the end of the world. It’s no’ that bad. Do you honestly think I’m that shallow, that I wouldn’t understand? If my opinion matters, which it shouldn’t, I think you’re doing the right thing.” His face was full of compassion.
She looked into his clear brown eyes as the moment lightened. “How can you be so understanding and rational about this?”
Denny chuckled. “I knew the timing of meeting you wasn’t ideal,” he said, “and I’ve expected that I might need to hold back for a while. It’s okay. Do whatever your heart says to do,” he said quietly. “I’ll be here, if you still want me. If you choose David, we’ll still be the greatest of friends.”
As she looked into his eyes, she saw that he meant what he said.
Jill dressed carefully for dinner with David, selecting gray flannel slacks and a rose-colored cashmere twinset that brought out the natural color in her cheeks. She donned the amethyst pendant and earrings he had given her early in their marriage and then drove into Manhattan, arriving at his apartment a few minutes before seven o’clock. She thought that if he saw the jewelry he had given her, it might result in a deeper discussion between them. That pendant and earring set had been his housewarming gift to her. At the time, he had loved their big, new home.
He answered the door in his bathrobe, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “Give me just a second to throw on some clothes,” he said as he towel-dried his hair. “I just went for a run in the park.”
“No problem,” she said and plunked down on the sofa, picking up an Architectural Digest magazine and skimming through it quickly.
The apartment was furnished with a woman’s touch, she decided immediately, noting the damask furniture, soft wool throws, tufted cushions on the sofa and chairs, and slightly kitschy accessories. There was a bookshelf filled with broadcasting journals, along with an impressive display of romance novels. She wondered about the identity of the woman who lived here. David had said he was subletting from a colleague.
“You can come back here and talk to me,” he called out to her from the bedroom.
Jill raised her eyebrows and picked up a food and wine magazine. “Take your time. I’ll pretend we’re back in college and I’m sitting here waiting for you. I never knew a man could take longer than a woman to get ready for a date.”
She heard his quick laugh. “Oh, come on,” he retorted. “I wasn’t always late.”
Yes, you were, she mouthed the words silently in an exaggerated fashion before commenting out loud, “You were fortunate that no one else in your fraternity cared about hygiene.”
When he emerged about ten minutes later—record time for David—he looked as handsome as ever. Jill took in a quick, appreciative breath before reacting. “I guess you were worth the wait.”
“Aren’t you the little smart aleck tonight?” he teased as he drew her to her feet and enveloped her in his arms.
He smelled good, too. It had never taken much for Jill to respond to his attentions, but tonight, she preferred to keep a safe distance. Too many questions remained unanswered, and she wasn’t sure this evening was even a good idea.
“I thought we had reservations for seven fifteen,” she said. “I don’t know about you, but I skipped lunch.”
“Well, then, I guess we’d better get going.” He took her hand as they walked to Anthony’s, an elegant and expensive trattoria specializing in seafood and fresh pasta. As they walked, Jill decided to risk dampening the mood by asking the identity of the woman whose apartment David was subletting.
“She has nice taste,” she said.
“Who are we talking about?” he asked in a clipped, polite tone that told Jill he knew exactly what she wanted to know.
“The woman whose apartment you’re subletting. I like what she’s done with the place.”
“How do you know it’s a woman?” David’s eyes met hers.
“Furniture style, romance novels, feminine design touches.” Jill shrugged. “No pool table in the dining room. No old couch with camouflage upholstery. No craft beer bottles as decoration.”
David laughed out loud. “No guy I know would decorate like that. But yes, you’re very observant,” he said as they paused at a street corner for the crossing light. He kept his hand firmly on her elbow. “Her name is Andrea Colson. She’s on assignment in the UK, so I’m living there until she gets back.”
Jill recognized the name of the correspondent, but could only vaguely recall seeing her on television. She wondered how well David knew Andrea, since she obviously was comfortable enough to sublet her apartment to him. They arrived at Anthony’s—a small, elegant restaurant co-owned by two up-and-coming chefs who also happened to be married to each other.
“Ah, Mr. Hennessy,” the maitre d’ said. “We’re happy to have you dining with us tonight. We’ve got your table in the back all ready for you. Good evening, Ma’am.” He smiled noncommittally in Jill’s direction and then averted his eyes discreetly. David obviously had been here before with other people.
It was a reality of life with a celebrity that anonymity and privacy could never be guaranteed. She was reminded of this as they were ushered to their table in the rear of the restaurant behind a curtain. Other diners looked up as David passed, and there were whispered comments and curious stares in her direction.
Jill sat down in the chair David held out for her before taking his own seat. He accepted the wine menu from the maitre d’ and flipped it open, studying it carefully. David prided himself on his knowledge of wines, a skill Jill had appreciated all these years.
“I think a nice cabernet is in order, don’t you think?” he asked, glancing up at her and smiling.
“Whatever you think,” she said out of habit, and then caught herself. She actually preferred cabernet sauvignon to other red wines, but was all too aware of her habit of acquiescing automatically to David’s wishes. This time she decided to let it go, thinking he might have suggested a cabernet because he remembered her preference for it. They ordered the house insalata prepared tableside as they chatted companionably about their jobs, Finn and Liam, and Missy’s pregnancy.
“I’d like to give the kids nursery furniture for their big Christmas gift,” she told him. “Maybe you’ll go in on that with me.”
“Let’s do it,” he agreed.
“Brian and Liam could use a new desk for their office.”
“Fine with me. I’m sure you know what they’d like—what would look good in their place.”
It felt so natural to hear him respond this way. To her relief, the conversation flowed without much effort, and by the time their entrees arrived, Jill recognized that David was making more of an effort to engage her in conversation and to solicit her thoughts. Usually he listened passively, his attention elsewhere until she called him on it.
She told him about her feng shui class. “They’re such a great group of people. I can honestly say I’d choose any one of them for a friend.”
“It surprises me that you’re teaching. You used to be so afraid of public speaking. Remember how you practiced over and over when you had to make a presentation in school until you’d memorized everything?”
“I do remember.” She chuckled at the memory. “I was nervous the first two weeks of this class, but then I realized that I love talking about feng shui in design work, and the information just seems to flow. In fact, I’ve been thinking how nice it would be—don’t laugh—to have a television show about feng shui. Can you believe it’s me saying that?”
David looked thoughtful. “Anything is possible, if you want it enough.”
Jill smiled as their eyes met. “You should know, since you made all your dreams come true.”
“How’s Tom?” David asked, changing the subject. “I can’t stop thinking about what happened this week.” He shuddered and took a gulp of wine.
“He’s getting out of the hospital late tomorrow morning. I’m bringing him back to the house for a few days so I can keep an eye on him. He isn’t supposed to be alone, and he’s refusing home health care.”
David raised his eyebrows, opened his mouth to speak, and stopped. His eyelid twitched—a sure sign that he was holding something back.
“What?” Jill looked intently at David.
“Nothing.”
“What were you going to say?” Jill put down her salad fork.
David chewed and swallowed. “One of your most endearing qualities is that you give a hundred percent of yourself, but you don’t always see the big picture.”
“Which is?”
“Tom has had a ‘thing’ for you as long as I’ve known him. Do you think having him stay at the house is such a good idea?”
Jill quickly lost her appetite. She wasn’t about to tell David what had happened between her and Tom a few weeks earlier. Besides, since she and David were legally separated and in the process of divorcing, it was none of David’s business whether or not she allowed Tom to recover at her home, or for that matter, whether she and Tom carried on a torrid affair. For the sake of civility, she decided to keep her thoughts to herself.
“The reality is that he can’t go home alone, David. He just had two stents put in. If you think we’re going to engage in wild, passionate sex, think again.” She laughed to soften her message.
“He can’t like me very much these days,” David observed wryly, taking another sip of wine.
“Well, you can certainly find out. He’ll be at the house for dinner tomorrow evening, if you’d care to join us.”
David let out a long breath. “Jill, all I care about right now is getting our lives back on track as a married couple. I hope there won’t be other people with their own agendas who want to derail us. That’s all I’m saying.”
Jill wondered what had happened to his earlier suggestion that they have a fun evening together and get reacquainted. If he was trying to win her heart, this was not the way. He was assuming they’d reconcile. He was even setting the terms.
Indignation surged through her, but she contained herself, aware that the few other diners in their section seemed to be craning their heads to listen. “There are obviously people with strong opinions,” she said quietly. “We can’t insulate ourselves from everyone who has a thought about what happened. Those people who truly care about us will be in our lives supporting what is best for each of us.”
As they finished the rest of their dinner, Jill realized that once again she was censoring herself. Just when she thought she couldn’t keep up the pretense any longer, the check came. As David paid the bill, she considered how best to tell him that she was not going back to the apartment.
As they stood to leave, he took her arm. “Let’s walk a little,” he said. They covered several blocks within a few minutes, barely speaking except to comment on the aromas of New York City on a Saturday night—the smells of roasting meat, garlic, popcorn, and freshly ground coffee emanating from restaurants and storefronts. “It’s been too long since we did this kind of thing,” David observed. “We’re out of practice just hanging out together.”
“It does seem like forever.” Jill thought for a moment and realized that it had been at least three years since the last time they’d spent a Saturday evening walking the streets of Manhattan. On the rare occasions they went out for dinner together, David insisted they stay in Connecticut.
Rounding the corner, Jill noticed a sign for the gallery where Denny’s paintings were on exhibit. She kept her eyes focused ahead and quickened her step, but David slowed down to linger in front of several paintings arranged on brass easels. He studied them at length, commenting on the color and style.
“This guy is good,” he said. “I’m no expert, but his water looks really wet.”
“I’ve recommended this artist’s work to several clients. He also does specialty interior painting for us.” She pulled David along by the hand before he could make another comment.
“Are you tired?” he asked after they covered another couple of blocks. “Would you like to head back to my place?”
“I need to think about getting back to my car. It’s late.” Jill glanced at her watch.
“You could spend the night.” He squeezed the back of her neck lightly, and she felt an involuntary shiver.
David now had his arm possessively around her waist, his hand resting low on her back, in what she recognized as his customary proprietary hold. She knew he expected her to go along with the idea. To make matters worse, she still couldn’t get out of her mind the thought of him with Amber. The graphic mental image made her slightly ill. Again, she wondered what kind of relationship David had with Andrea that she allowed him to live in her apartment. But more than these troubling thoughts, it was Denny and their last kiss at his house that was foremost on her mind after seeing his paintings in the gallery window.
“It’s not a good idea,” she said, and David’s eyes opened in surprise.
When they reached her car, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. “Jill, I love you,” he said. “I wish I could turn back the clock and make everything that happened go away.”
“David, I will always love you for all the history we have and the fact that you and I made a family together,” she said, giving him a squeeze. She stepped back. “No matter what, you have to believe that.” She unlocked the car and got in. “I meant it when I said you should come by for dinner tomorrow night. That’s a good next step for the sake of everyone in our family.”
David’s smile was noncommittal. “Sure,” he said.
As she drove away from the curb, she caught sight of him in the rearview mirror. He looked drawn and uncertain, standing alone. There was a faint stirring in her heart—a fondness she knew could never be extinguished. But now in place of a deep connection, she felt little more than a vague sort of familiarity. More significantly, as she drove home to Connecticut, her thoughts were not on David.