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ALL OF THE RUNNING around that morning, playing with Aunt Catherine and Evie along with Thomas, followed by a longer morning and early afternoon than usual with Uncle Will, left Faith breathless by the time she reached home. Thomas and Evie were still at Aunt Sarah and Uncle Sam’s, and Faith could picture them looking at each individual book on Thomas’ shelves.
Joanna would most likely have a bath ready for her by now, and Faith sighed deeply, imaging how good it was going to feel to wash off the stickiness of sweat from her neck and back.
But when her home came into view, she saw a familiar carriage outside, and her feet began to move faster as if they had a mind of their own.
Dr. Colt was just inside the door, speaking quietly to her father, and she caught a glimpse of someone moving on the stairs.
Her grandmother.
Grandmama Lucy was so like her daughter that the only difference most people could see was the gray hair. She usually wore a patient smile, again, like Faith’s mother, but today she seemed tired and sad.
“Oh, Faith, dear. Why don’t you come with me and have some tea? I understand that Rachel has made her famous sugar cookies, or maybe it is her new assistant she allowed to make them today.”
Faith could smell the cookies, but her stomach churned.
Why were her mother’s parents here, and why did everyone look so serious?
“I’m not hungry. What’s wrong?”
She heard herself, her tone blunt and to the point. It must not have been what Grandmama Lucy was expecting because she looked away quickly before closing her eyes, and Faith waited in the silence, barely hearing her grandfather’s quiet words behind her.
“Your mother is sick, and while we’ve seen this before, it’s worse this time. Perhaps it’s her age, but all she can do is stay in bed until it passes.”
We’ve seen this before.
What was she talking about?
“Now, she might need your help when the time comes, and you have so little experience with children . . .”
Faith shook her head quickly to clear it.
What had she just said?
Oh . . .
Her mother was going to have a baby?
“I’m sorry, I thought you were aware. Josie won’t be very pleased with me for spilling the beans.”
Her grandmother squeezed her shoulders and leaned close, resting her forehead on Faith’s own.
“It’s early days, though, and anything can happen.”
With those ominous words, Grandmama Lucy let go of Faith and walked away, leaving her standing at the bottom of the grand staircase alone.
Johnny crept up beside her, seemingly out of nowhere.
“They’ve been her for a few hours, it’s all very hush hush and I don’t like it.”
Of course a boy wouldn’t have any idea what’s going on, Faith thought.
Then again, neither had she.
“What makes you say that? Don’t you want a little brother or sister?”
He glanced over at their father and grandfather, who were still deep in conversation. Neither looked happy, and Faith was worried as to what that might mean.
“It isn’t that. Aren’t people usually excited when a baby is on the way? Everyone is acting like Mother has contracted some horrific disease, when it’s just a baby.”
Just a baby?
As if he could read her mind, he sighed and shook his head.
“You know what I mean. There’s more to it than that, and you feel it, too.”
She did.
There was no denying it.
A chill began to creep up her spine, as if she was afraid.
But of what?
Her father and grandfather were shaking hands, and with a wave, both of her grandparents left, her father staring after them.
Everything seemed to be moving very fast, and Faith took her brother’s hand, holding it tight as their father walked towards them.
“You may have overheard that there’s going to be a new addition to the family. I’m sorry your mother and I didn’t tell you ourselves, and she’ll be disappointed that you found out before we could. That aside, she’s having a difficult time and needs plenty of rest, so I trust the two of you won’t do anything to upset her.”
Johnny looked affronted. When his mouth fell open, their father smiled and closed his eyes, shaking his head.
“Why don’t you go get a sugar cookie to stuff into that big mouth of yours,” he said, patting Johnny on the shoulder. Her brother squeezed Faith's hand before letting go and wandering off down the hall towards the kitchen.
“Will she be all right?”
Faith felt the weight of the words as she spoke them, as if every syllable was a heavy burden.
Her father reached out to her, and she took his hands.
“Why don’t we pray, and let God hold her in His hands for now.”
It wasn’t an answer, but the way he redirected her thoughts made her even more nervous.
If her mother was going to be fine, why couldn’t her father just say so?
“Dear Lord, watch over Josie and keep her close to your heart. We pray for a healthy child and a healthy mother, and for those of us who worry about them both. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Her father didn’t drop her hands as he intoned those last words, so she stood together with him, the high ceiling above them faintly echoing his words.
“Rachel asked if we wanted dinner in the garden since it’s such a nice day.”
Johnny brought a handful of cookies as well as a message from the cook upon his return.
Faith didn’t want to have dinner at all, and she imagined that if Johnny kept eating those cookies, he wouldn’t have much of an appetite either.
He spluttered a few cookie crumbs and their father raised his eyebrows.
“I’m sorry, please excuse me,” he frowned with great exaggeration at Faith before going on. “I think it would be a good idea, and it would keep the house more quiet for Mother, wouldn’t it?”
They weren’t loud and boisterous like Aunt Catherine was with her children, but Faith could see his point.
She really needed that bath now, though, to relax for a bit before having a meal and most likely, a nervous conversation with her father over dinner.
Her time with her uncle had included a few tense moments, during which he brought up Nico, and while she was expecting him to focus on Thomas’ behavior, he had very directly asked her what she thought of Nico, personally.
Then, before she could answer, he trailed off about Nico’s innate ability when it came to building design, wondering if it was part of growing up in the city, just as it had been for Uncle Will.
“I wonder if he’d be interested in an apprenticeship. If it wasn’t for mine, I would have had a difficult time entering the field, and I’ve always been grateful for that opportunity.”
He frowned as he stopped speaking, and Faith had waited for him to go on, watching his expression shift.
“But then again, he has a large family and a responsibility to the family business at that, so perhaps he wouldn’t be interested, or able, to join me on a more permanent basis.”
That conversation had left her excited but nervous, wondering what life would be like with Nico there in the study every day . . . and Thomas brooding in a corner.
It was fortunate for her that without Thomas, Uncle Will had expected quite a bit of input from her, especially when it came to a very large, very expensive project he had been in negotiations over for several months.
“Uncle Will is going to design a skyscraper,” she offered into the silence, once she, along with her father and brother, settled into rather uncomfortable chairs around a wrought iron table in the garden.
Her father smiled tiredly, and she could see that he was glad of the diversion.
“We may go into the city to take a look around, and Nico invited us, for no particular date, to see his family’s grocery store.”
Why had she brought him up? He was in the back of her mind, as he always seemed to be now, and perhaps it wouldn’t catch her father or brother’s attention too much.
“Nico, is it?”
It had.
Her father’s question was accompanied by the narrowing of his clear blue eyes, which Faith had always seen as a reflection of the apparent clarity of his purpose and sights.
But now, he seemed muddled by her mother’s condition, which was understandable.
“He wanted us to call him by his first name, since we’re all working together so closely.”
That was a poor choice of words that made her brother’s eyebrows rise along with her father’s.
“At any rate,” she continued, toying with her salad fork as she looked down at her china plate. “It would be a fun and educational trip, don’t you think?”
She, Thomas, and Uncle Will could stay in the Davenport townhouse on Fifth Avenue, one her grandparents had received as a wedding gift from her grandmother’s parents. Faith hadn’t spent much time there over the past few years, preferring to stay in Newport as her parents did.
But it was a glorious example of mid-nineteenth century American architecture, and she felt like a completely different person, perhaps someone from one of Evie’s Victorian novels, when she stayed there.
“I’d like to go, if you don’t mind. Randolph and some of the other boys keep inviting me to parties and I certainly won’t bother to go in just for that.”
Faith shook her head.
“But Johnny, we won’t stay for long. How many parties can you attend over three or four days?”
Her brother sat up straight.
“You underestimate my socializing abilities, dear sister.”
Johnny’s friends had small, intimate parties that had little or nothing to do with the big events of most of their set. Raised alongside Faith with the same values and priorities, he would never become part of anything unsavory.
Or at least she hoped.
The world was a busy and complicated place, but their very focused and sequestered lives here in Newport often made her forget this. Perhaps one day her brother would fall under a negative influence at one of these parties . . .
“I have a mother, Faith, so don’t go looking like you’re about to take on that role.”
His tone was teasing, but Faith could see that a part of him was most likely a little annoyed that she would condescend to him like he was still a child.
“Speaking of your mother, children,” her father began, then suddenly leaned forward, pressing his plate and silverware along the tablecloth out of the way with his elbow and resting his head in his hand.
“She was very ill when she was carrying you, Faith, but not so much with you, John.”
Her father had never called her brother John before, and she saw her brother’s chin lift a little.
“So I would have expected that this time, she would suffer less, again, but it seems this is a different sort of problem. Perhaps it is her age, or . . .”
He covered his face with his hand now, and Faith felt herself breathing heavily, unsure if she should speak or give him time to compose himself.
Johnny caught her eye and nodded once, in a silent agreement to wait and allow their father to direct the conversation.
“I can’t do anything for her. I felt so helpless when it was you, Faith, and I never thought I would feel worse than that. But I do. I do.”
Faith couldn’t help herself now, and jumped out of her chair to put an arm around her father, just as her brother did on his other side, and the three of them cried together, fear gripping Faith’s heart until she was sure she would never stop.