Chapter Nine

 

Alex couldn’t pass up the opportunity to visit Jet’s statue before he went back to Greyton. The familiar form of the metal wolf filled him with peace. He put a hand on the silver seven emblazoned on the wolf’s shoulder. The matching tattoo on his arm gave an answering throb. It still burned from the silver mixed with the ink. He welcomed the pain as a reminder that his brother would approve the things for which he fought.

He smiled at the sound of footsteps.

“Trent mentioned I could find you here,” Jaze said.

Alex smiled at the dean. “I had to visit Jet before I returned to Greyton.”

“So you are going back,” Jaze noted.

Alex nodded. He couldn’t bring himself to meet the dean’s gaze. “I have to. I can’t stay here. Not now. Not after...”

“I’ve been there.”

Alex looked at Jaze, caught by the dean’s tone. “You have?”

Jaze leaned against Jet’s statue and crossed his arms. “I know what it feels like to blame yourself for the death of others. I made decisions that cost lives.” He closed his eyes for a moment, and the expression of pain that crossed his face told Alex how true his words were. “My mother, for one.” He opened his eyes and looked Alex. “It’s not easy to live with.”

“No, it’s not,” Alex said quietly.

Jaze put his hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I understand if you don’t feel ready to come back. I won’t push you because I’ve been there. I know what it means to search for acceptance inside yourself, to have to come to terms with what happened.” He met Alex’s gaze, his own steady. “But I want you to know that this is your home. This is where you belong. This is your pack, your family. We’re here for you.”

Alex let out a slow breath. “I won’t stay away forever. I just feel like if I go to school and pretend like nothing happened, I’ll go crazy.”

“Living your life isn’t pretending like nothing happened,” Jaze said, his tone kind. “You have to still exist, Alex.”

“Every minute I’m here reminds me that Kalia no longer does,” Alex replied quietly. “And I’m worried about Torin and Boris. I don’t think I could handle their accusations right now.”

“You think the Alphas will gang up on you?” Jaze asked. “I can keep that from happening.”

Alex shook his head. “I’m not worried about what they’ll do to me.” He hesitated, then admitted the truth. “I’m worried if they do, I’ll kill them.”

Jaze was quiet for several minutes. When he spoke again, his attention was on the statue. “Dray and I have been talking about what happens when you morph. He said the strength you experience is something far greater than even an Alpha.”

Alex nodded. “I’m so full of anger. Fighting gangs in the Saa at Greyton and protecting the citizens gives me focus. I don’t dare come back until I have better control.” He clenched his hands into fists. The tendons stood out along his arms in rigid lines. “I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.”

Jaze gave him a fatherly smile. “You’re seventeen, Alex. My whole life was turned upside down at your age also. I know what it’s like trying to find your path again. Until you do, you’re doing a good thing protecting those people. Jet would be proud.”

“I hope so,” Alex said.

Jaze squeezed his shoulder. “You come back when you’re ready. Until then, Meredith and Cassie are keeping track of your studies. You’re not far behind.”

“Thank you,” Alex told him, grateful for the space he needed so badly.

He pulled his motorcycle from where he had hidden it just beyond the gate. Pulling his helmet on, Alex pressed the button for the headset.

“Trent?”

“Did the dean find you?” Trent asked.

“Yes, thank you.” Alex listened to the hum of the tires on the road for a moment before he said, “I left something for you on your workbench.”

“You did?”

Alex smiled at the surprise in Trent’s voice. He listened to his friend make his way from the Wolf Den up the small tunnel to the secondary vehicle storage room the werewolf used as his private workshop.

Trent laughed. “A box of Twinkies?”

Alex grinned. “I heard you won a bet and Brock didn’t pay up. Keep those for yourself.”

“Oh, I will. That human would eat them all in less time than it would take for me to open one. If he so much as smells them, they’ll be gone.” His voice took on a musing tone. “And I’m beginning to suspect he has a better nose than most of the werewolves here. I ate a roast beef sandwich the other day an hour before going to the Wolf Den, and when I got there, he asked me if it had spicy mustard or regular without me even mentioning the sandwich!”

“Maybe being around werewolves so much has worn off on him,” Alex guessed.

Trent laughed. “I doubt it. He’d shower more if that was the case.”

Alex chuckled in reply and turned his attention to the night. Trees rushed by on either side of the road, dark shadows that stood out in stark grays through his wolven eyesight. The stars overhead softened the contrast, giving him a landscape in so many shades of gray it was beautiful to behold. He smiled at the brush of moonlight along the grass. It looked like Siale’s eyes, soft and full.

He realized with a pang of relief that thanks to Siale, he could smile again. Just being with her had soothed the edges of the pain he held so close. He could breathe without the ache reminding him of Kalia’s death. Floating with her in the water had been better than any therapy. Under her touch, he had found a way to survive again. Thanks to her understanding, he could think.

He wouldn’t forget Kalia. Instead, he would use the time it took to heal from her passing to make sure those who lived in fear in Greyton knew someone cared about their circumstances. He would embrace the Demon.