The time to start on the path to wealth is right now—this very minute. You don’t have to know everything, and you don’t need a perfect plan. Everyone wants to know how to escape from his or her own Prison of Perception; we all want to set out on the path to freedom. You may feel like you are imprisoned behind solid steel bars, but the truth is that the door to your personal jail cell isn’t locked—it never was. Nothing binds you to the results you’ve had, and are currently having, but the chains in your own mind. You’re completely free to choose a new and exciting path.
Once you start creating your own stream of income and allowing money to flow through your life, you will find that you can increase this flow by getting help from others. As you focus on your strengths and prioritize your tasks, you’ll want to delegate those tasks that others can perform better than you can. Imagine you have one acorn to plant. This seed is planted and all its energy is put into producing a tree. No matter how big or beautiful that tree may be, it can only become one tree. However, if your tree produces acorns and each of those becomes another tree, you soon have an entire forest. All those other acorns are people that can help you become wealthy. They may be assistants, accountants, lawyers, web designers, or any of hundreds of other people. They allow you to leverage your time exponentially.
Everyone around you has a specific body of knowledge. All of this can help you achieve your goals. Creating trust through relationships allows you to gain access to their knowledge and produces a mutually-beneficial arrangement. Most small businesspeople start out doing most of the work themselves. As they grow, they often use contractors to help with the more mundane tasks, allowing them to purchase the exact services they need without taking on the responsibility of employees. This is the beginning of the creation of your wealth team.
Wealthy individuals have long known about the powerful concept of leveraging other people’s time. They have all applied and used this principle to gain their own wealth. This is not to say you take advantage of anyone; rather, you become involved in a relationship that benefits both sides. As you build your wealth team, you’ll find those who offer you their time in exchange for money, or your skills. Leverage creates a win-win situation for everyone involved.
By owning your own business, you can use this leverage. It’s an adjustment from being a one person show, but you’ll never grow or expand your ability to earn money unless you get help. It’s too time-consuming to build a business without leveraging the resources of other people. You need their time and abilities. Understanding leverage and how it can work for you is a key step to understanding money and amassing wealth.
Building your wealth team means assessing each person’s natural abilities and strengths, and assigning projects or jobs that best suit those natural abilities. Some people are creative problems-solvers; some are detail oriented; others can manage several projects at once. Not everyone has these skills, so it makes sense to put these people in positions that will allow them to excel. They enjoy their work and have a great sense of accomplishment while moving the whole business forward, which makes them all the more productive. This is exactly the kind of leverage that you must understand and employ to reach your financial goals.
As you begin to work with others, you’ll find one of the biggest challenges to be effective communication. You have to convey your wishes effectively; but you also have to be open to what others have to say. Not everyone realizes that the most important aspect of creating relationships with others—be they employees, customers, contractors or anyone else—begins with listening.
Many people confuse hearing with listening, and they end up failing to understand the message being presented. This can damage the relationship, as it tends to leave people feeling insignificant and frustrated. Needless to say, this is not good for your progress. If you continue to discount their thoughts, they will become emotionally distant and you will cease to have their full cooperation and creative ideas.
Listening takes attention, focus and the willingness to accept what you’re being told. It also requires you to be aware of what is NOT being said; a great deal of communication is conveyed non-verbally, through body language. Listening effectively is not a passive activity. Our brains work much faster than our ability to speak, so we often jump way ahead of the conversation in our minds and miss the opportunity to fully understand that person’s feelings, opinions and perspective. Distractions and assumptions can interfere with what is being said, so work hard to concentrate on that person and really absorb their words and gestures.
Listening is really a gift of your time, as is the attention you give to another person. It is your obligation to respond both verbally and non-verbally to that person. It lets them know that you’re actively listening and absorbing what they’re saying; and that you understand what they are trying to communicate. This is how you let them know you value what’s being said, and by doing so, it opens their heart and creative mind to fully communicate.
The skill of listening can, and should be, cultivated. I’ve listed a few common errors and important points to learn if you want to improve your listening abilities:
1. Silence is Golden. This may seem obvious, but many people are impatient. They focus not on what is being said, but are calculating their response and waiting for their chance to speak. They only listen for a few minutes before interrupting, which cuts off the flow of communication. Be courteous and give the other person your full attention. Avoid the natural tendency to immediately offer solutions or opinions. Just listen.
2. Receive the Entire Message. A good listener looks interested in what others are saying. You must also be aware that your body language is very important. Maintain eye contact, sit still, lean slightly toward the other person, and nod your head on occasion to convey that you understand the points they’re making.
3. Repeat Points or Ask Questions. Listen closely and when the other person pauses, this is a good time to verify what you think you heard, or ask questions to clarify anything you didn’t understand. You can do this by paraphrasing what you heard. Ask if it’s correct. This gives the person the opportunity to clear up anything you misunderstood. It also allows them to hear what their message sounds like from your perspective.
4. Be aware of physical barriers. It’s very important to be at eye level with the person speaking, if possible. Don’t allow them to stand while you sit, or the other way around. If you sit at a desk, be sure to move to some comfortable chairs so it doesn’t present a perceived barrier between you. This will make the conversation more open and honest.
5. Respect the Person. No matter the message, some conversations should not be public - especially if they involve criticism or personal issues. Be sure to respect each person’s private information and closely guard what he or she tells you in confidence. This will help them trust you and feel more at ease because they know that you respect them as a person.
6. Respect Their Feelings. Even if you don’t agree with what the person it trying to tell you, avoid defensive statements or words. You must accept what is being said without argument. Later, you can take time to review what was said and formulate a response. As a good listener, you should allow the person the time and space to fully express his or her feelings. No matter how much you may disagree, that doesn’t mean that their feelings aren’t real or valid. To brush off or invalidate those feelings crushes their spirit and creates animosity; this will do nothing to help you achieve your goals.
7. Show Gratitude. Thank the person for sharing their thoughts and feelings. Be genuine. It takes great courage to speak up and be heard—especially if they’re pointing out something that needs improving. Honest communication builds trust and encourages further dialogue.
8. Opportunity for Growth. Feedback and opinions from others present an opportunity for growth. It must be met with an open mind. For this reason, it is important to evaluate all points made, not just those you agree with. You should never be too busy to listen to someone else’s opinion or point of view.
It takes time and effort to become a good listener. But as you improve these skills, your patience will be rewarded. As you become a more effective listener, you might be surprised to find people will seek you out to share their thoughts and feelings. You’ll also notice you’re involved in fewer conflicts, and become perceived as an honest and trustworthy person. Attentive listening is a unique skill that people respect and admire.
The other side of listening is the ability to convey your own thoughts and desires effectively. Like listening, speaking in a way that is easily understood is not as simple as it sounds. Verbal communication requires you to put your thoughts into clear chunks of information that can be easily absorbed. Long-winded stories and speeches about nothing can cause the listener to become tired, lose interest and shift focus, resulting in a communication breakdown.
There may also be times when you hold yourself back from expressing yourself because of self-doubt or fear. This is very common, especially if you are starting a new business, or are working in an unfamiliar area. I know plenty of people who seem to become mute when they meet with their accountant. They are so unfamiliar with tax laws that they’re afraid to ask questions for fear of showing their ignorance. Effective communication means finding the courage to speak up—even if you might sound foolish or repeat information that the listener may already know. You’ve heard the adage “there are no stupid questions”? It’s true! By remaining silent, you deny yourself the opportunity to learn and grow.
Relationships are a careful balance between speaking effectively and listening fully. When communication is based on honesty, respect, and good intentions, each person feels accepted and valued. Good communication skills allow you to solve conflicts and share accomplishments. As a result, your professional and personal relationships will be nurtured and enhanced.
There will always be moments when relationships are strained in some way. This could happen with customers, clients, employees, or vendors. If these problems aren’t dealt with swiftly and effectively, they can grow to a seemingly-insurmountable mountain. I say ‘seemingly’ because it’s easy to assume a relationship is completely irreparable, but that is rarely the case. Most often, the original issue is quite minor—the real problem is in how it was handled and that is what creates a great deal of negative emotion. It is this emotion that must be diffused before the relationship can move forward.
Think of a customer with a complaint. They send an email, nicely worded, to request help. You don’t respond. They email again, and their communication becomes more heated; they insist on a response. If they still don’t get satisfaction, they might start to call. No matter what your intentions, silence or lack of response is interpreted as lack of respect or caring. Suddenly, you receive a letter from their attorney. This is exactly the path that many small issues travel to escalate into ridiculous battles. This is why it is so important to pay attention!
Prevention is the best avenue for mending fences. By making it a priority to respond to small issues, your customers and vendors will remain happy, and your relationships with them healthy. In fact, your ability to respond quickly to issues will generate a reputation of responsibility and more people will want to work with you and seek you out.
It is important to understand that the underlying problem is not the original issue that the customer or vendor raised. The real problem is the emotion that that person attached to your actions or lack of action. As time goes on, the original issue doesn’t escalate. It remains what it was at the outset. But the emotion attached to it grows based on how satisfied they are with your response. Emotion can create or destroy relationships, because emotions affect the perception of those involved—including your own. You can be the one upset rather than the customer or vendor and your emotions can escalate with a minimal amount of provocation just as easily.
When you have a relationship that moves to shaky ground, there are several things you can do to bring it back to stability. First, try to assess the situation objectively. That means determining how much of the problem involves real issues, and how much involves emotions. These two areas are handled differently. Usually you will find the original issue is only 10-20% of the conflict, and the rest is emotion.
When dealing with emotions, whether yours or someone else’s, it’s important to understand that we all have different triggers. Often, these triggers come from experiences or beliefs we’ve formed in our own minds. This produces differences in expectation levels—often the basis for a misunderstanding in the first place.
No matter what the exact nature of these beliefs, this is no time to assess blame. The important part is that the relationship must be repaired. In order for this to happen, you have to be willing to make the first move. This can be hard; we can be proud and stubborn—especially if we think we’re ‘right.’ If you feel wronged, it can be difficult to engage that person again.
But it can also be very satisfying to make that first move, even when you believe in your heart that you did nothing wrong in the first place. Chances are, the other person believes he or she did nothing wrong either, so if no one makes the first move to repair the relationship, it will just disintegrate. From that point forward, the event becomes a negative porthole, reinforcing the emotions each time you think of it.
There isn’t much time or attention paid to the idea of forgiveness within a business environment. This is truly a shame, because it’s very important. For many, ‘business’ mode means you’re cold and calculating. This is ridiculous, and far from the truth; what’s more, it’s impossible—no matter how hard you try! We are human; by this simple fact, we’re emotional creatures. Trying to tune out or turn off those emotions makes you an ineffective communicator; in so doing, it damages your ability to create a wealthy mindset.
If you have a bad experience you may hold on to the emotion associated with it, perhaps even replay the scenario in your head. By doing so, you create new negative beliefs for yourself. As we’ve already discussed, beliefs are powerful and affect you for a very long time. You’re also focusing on the event, and attracting similar events through the Law of Attraction. The only way to stop this process is to practice forgiveness and let go of the emotion. Forgiveness doesn’t justify the behaviour of someone who has wronged you, or betray any of your principles; it simply means you’re allowing yourself to move forward emotionally in a positive direction.
Things will go wrong. We will say things we regret, or act without considering how it will affect others without meaning to. And we’ll make honest mistakes. You can’t approach business or life with an all-or-nothing mindset, or allow yourself to blow events out of proportion. Keep your heart open and forgive indiscretions and errors.
I’m a big believer in second chances. There have been many occasions where I was given a second chance, and I’ve found it very prudent to do the same for others. Often, those that made a mistake or misstep will have an even closer bond to you if given the chance to make things right.
I like the analogy that most problems are like icebergs. Maybe 5% of them are actual events. The other 95% are your own perception. But that 95% is subject to your conscious control. You can feed your problems with fear and turn them into overwhelming threats, or you can shrink them by stepping back and broadening your perspective. When you artificially inflate your problems, you reduce your ability to solve them. Enlarging your perspective allows you to reduce the problems in your mind. They soon become relatively easy to either solve or accept.
This can be a good time to talk to a mentor or trusted advisor. A third party will rarely have an emotional attachment to the situation and can help you shift your own perspective.
A wealthy mindset is impossible without gratitude, and gratitude is impossible without a wealthy mindset—it doesn’t matter what your bank balance is. Gratitude is linked to your mindset and perception of life. Those who have developed and cultivated a wealthy mindset know that there are stages of gratitude, and that it deepens over time.
We are taught as children to be grateful—to be polite and say thank you for gifts and gestures. But for most children, this gratitude is cursory. Not until adulthood do we feel the basic stage of true gratitude. Why? Because it’s not until you’re on your own that you realize the sacrifices others have made to get you where you are. You realize that they have given you more than you could ever repay, in word or deed; and that’s when we experience the emotion of true gratitude for the first time.
This emotion gives you a feeling of wealth. It is deep and heartfelt, but still in the early stages. You’re grateful for what you have received from others, but you don’t have the deep emotion to be truly grateful for all things yet. I’ve heard many people say that, in order to create wealth, you must be grateful. This is true. But the gratitude must be deep and emotional to attract that wealth. Lip service provides no energy or vibration for the attraction of wealth.
Often, I’ve seen people make lists of things they’re thankful for: their business, possessions, or the people around them. They read their lists each day, and express their gratitude. This is a good practice, but it can be ineffective if the list is read with no emotion attached to it. This is especially true if that person is actually feeling complacent or negative about their circumstances.
You cannot use lists of things for which you are grateful in an attempt to convince the universe to deliver wealth to your door. You have to become emotionally involved for that to happen. If your gratitude is dependent on your circumstances, it will be temporary at best. Any adverse encounter or event will completely remove it from your thoughts.
Developing a deep and abiding sense of gratitude that is separate from any circumstance or situation is the only way you’ll attract wealth. This type of gratitude is for things like life, and creation as a whole. It encompasses everything that you might experience—good or bad. When you have a deep and emotional sense of gratitude, you’ll perceive every event as an opportunity for growth, and this will enhance your ability to attract wealth. This type of gratitude is not a temporary activity. It becomes embedded in your sub-conscious; it’s a part of who you are, and how you function.
If your gratitude is dependent on those things in life that are material and fleeting—like your possessions, your business or your income—your mindset doesn’t change. But when it’s centered in the permanent and ever-present, it becomes a permanent and ever-present part of you. The easiest way to recognize this change is to notice how you express your gratitude. Instead of listing the things you are grateful for, you write one sentence on your list: “I am grateful.” You’re not grateful for anything in particular; you’re simply grateful for everything, period.
To manifest this gratitude in your life, you have to practice. Practice by choosing things that are not dependent on circumstance, and say it out loud: “I am grateful for the limitless potential that lies within me.” By doing so, you’ll move that gratitude to a deeper and more unconditional stage.
When you are living the wealthy life that you dream about, this unconditional gratitude is what you experience. By practicing it now, you are attracting the circumstances that will create that life.
The way to get started is to start doing.
—Walt Disney
Within the pages of this book, I’ve talked about the actions, thoughts and qualities possessed by people who have established their wealthy mindsets. And I’m sure that, by now, you understand why creating wealth is not about the money; it’s about how you think and what you create with those thoughts. Now it’s time for you to implement these techniques into your own life.
By practicing and building upon the ideas and techniques I’ve presented, you will be well on your way to a new and glorious life. One day as you stand looking back at the events of your life, you will understand that you had the power to create wealth within you all along. You will know that your accomplishments came from a small seed of belief that now permeates your life.
I encourage you to embrace your own uniqueness and manifest true wealth in your life today. Make the decision—and then get in the dinghy and row!
Chapter 9 REVIEW
• You are completely free to choose a new and exciting path.
• Creating relationships is key to creating wealth.
• Prevention is the best avenue for mending fences.
• Practice forgiveness and let go of emotion.
• Enlarging your perspective allows you to reduce the size of the problems.
• Practice unconditional gratitude.