I swiped the back of my hand across my damp forehead and blew out a breath. Thunder rumbled in the distance. We’d had no rain in a month, and the thought of moisture to settle the dust and cool the air made me almost sick with longing. Soon leaves would turn color and the unrelenting heat of late summer would fade, but for now, Jesse’s sickroom was thick and stifling, ripe with the putrid stink of infection. I imagined our pond, and its soothing ripples of water.
Jesse still had not opened his eyes. I dozed in fits and starts whenever his condition permitted. If he tossed and turned, it meant a spike in fever. When he slept without moving, my own eyes drooped. As each day passed, his fortitude fed the fire of my hope. He had a core of great strength. Many had succumbed to less within days, but Jesse continued to fight, and so would I.
With my eyes closed, I fanned myself with a rag, trying to forget the room’s sticky discomfort. Just as my head began to droop, a raspy voice called my name. The sound startled me wide awake. For a moment, I wasn’t sure whether the voice had been real or come from a dream until I looked at Jesse’s face.
He stared at me, blinking as though trying to clear his vision. Through cracked and peeling lips, he whispered a single word. “Thirsty.”
I took a clean bandage and poured water from the pitcher over it. First, I pressed a wet cloth to his lips. Then I held the cup to his mouth with a shaking hand. He took a sip and swallowed. The sight heartened me more than anything. Dribbling liquid into his mouth with a spoon could not have provided for his body’s needs much longer.
Jesse’s eyes were clear, although he stumbled over each word as would one after waking from a long slumber. “What happened?”
“You’ve been very ill. Your mother brought you here so I could take care of you.”
Though I could see the effort cost him, he nodded. My heart raced, hoping this might be the turning point in his recovery and an answer to my prayers.
Papa sent for Dr. Lykins, who arrived soon after. He listened to Jesse’s chest, frowned, and pronounced him out of immediate danger. Mama sent a telegram to Zerelda in Kearney.
Jesse had turned a corner. From that day forward, he improved, and though he was eager to be well, he restrained his own impatience and followed the doctor’s orders. He stayed in bed, although I saw his fingers pluck at the bedclothes and his gaze wander to the window.
Zerelda arrived at the boarding house one day short of the two weeks she’d predicted. Her elation at finding her son alive and lucid seemed to vibrate through every part of her being, and she hugged me in a crushing embrace.
“You’ve done it, Zee. You saved our boy. I knew if anyone could get him well, it would be you.”
I smiled at her use of the word “our”. Perhaps now he did belong, at least a little, to both of us.
At the sight of his mother’s jubilation, Jesse’s lips curved up.
“I wasn’t ever alone, Ma. I could feel someone watching over me every minute. No medic on earth could have been as dedicated to an unruly patient as Zee has been.”
Zerelda’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears, and she patted my hand. “Thank you for what you’ve done. Your mother told me you stayed by his side day and night.”
“I promised to do anything necessary to help him get well, Aunt Zerelda, and I always keep my word.”
She touched a sunflower sitting in a pitcher next to Jesse’s bed and sighed, looking wearier than I’d ever seen her. Something troubled her still.
“Tell us, Aunt, how did you find the farm when you went home?”
Her nostrils flared. “The grounds are overgrown with weeds and brush. Part of the house was burned and part of it torn to pieces. We need to repair the damages and there’s work to be done so the fields will be ready for planting next spring. Yet it will lighten my soul to have Jesse back home with me.”
An idea occurred to me and I cleared my throat. “Dr. Lykins says Jesse will still need a great deal of nursing care and a long rest before he can leave his bed. With so many other tasks for you to do, you may want to think about letting him stay here until he gains more strength.”
I knew Mama would be horrified at my suggestion, but since she wasn’t present to hear my words, it pleased me to plant the notion in Zerelda’s head.
My aunt twisted her wedding ring and stared out the window. Jesse caught my eye and winked. “She’s right, Ma. I can’t lie in bed like a baby and give you more work to do than you already have.”
Zerelda pinched the top of her nose before replying. “It’s true enough I’m distracted by it all. I’m not even sure where we’d put you until the house is fully repaired. Yes. Much as I’d like to take you home now, I’ll go ask Mary for a few more weeks. I don’t want you to have another setback because we’ve moved you too soon.”
Never one to hesitate after coming to a decision, she put one hand on her hip and marched from the room to speak with Mama. I knew their conversation would be brief. Not even Mama would consider refusing her request.
Jesse smiled and reached for my hand. “If I have to lie in bed, I’d rather do it here. You’re more fun to talk to than Ma.”
The awkward compliment brought heat to my face. “As you well know, there hasn’t been much talking of late. You’ve been asleep a long time and have been quite spoiled, indeed. When you regain some of your strength, you shan’t be mollycoddled another moment.”
“I don’t know about that. Something tells me you enjoy being the best nursemaid a man could have.”
He laughed out loud at the look on my face and then winced, his hand clenched hard around mine.
At that moment, Zerelda bustled back into the room. Her eyes widened, and she lifted a brow before aiming a lengthy stare in my direction.
“Mary has agreed. We’ve arranged for Jesse to stay at least three more weeks. Longer if need be, depending on how he gets along. I’ll be over to check on him as often as I can. I do not want my son to overstay his welcome.”
Her tone was brisk, but I didn’t stare at the floor as had been my practice in the past when she entered a room. In my childhood, Zerelda’s commanding presence had tied my tongue, but today my eyes met hers before I excused myself so she and Jesse could visit in private.
The kitchen smelled of wood smoke and fresh bread. I sank into a chair at our battered oak table, famished and exhausted. Mama stirred a pot she had filled with tomatoes, carrots, and potatoes from the garden, and my mouth watered at the aroma of vegetables simmering in broth.
She turned from the kettle to me and placed her arms akimbo. “Zee, we need to talk about this. Papa and I are still concerned you are spending too much time with Jesse. Since he appeared close to death, we felt it best to say nothing. But now that his health has turned for the better, I will take responsibility for him and Aunt Susan will help me. I appreciate your deep concern for your cousin, but it’s not seemly for a young woman to spend so much time alone with a man whose health is no longer precarious.”
“Don’t speak of him as though he has no name, Mama. I’m sorry, but I don’t intend to put anyone else in charge. Jesse feels better when I’m with him, and the better he feels, the sooner he’ll get well.”
She took a deep breath at my brazenness and paused as though counting to ten before speaking. “Very well, but I insist there are things you must not do. Only Susan or I will bathe him and help him with the chamber pot. An unmarried girl should not touch the body of a man in such a way.”
I refrained from telling her that I, not Aunt Susan, had already bathed most of Jesse’s bare skin when fever took hold of him, and during times when he needed cleaning. I’d been far too worried to concern myself with proprieties. In truth, being familiar with his body had become natural. But some things, I knew, were best not shared with one’s mother. I wasn’t even yet ready to talk about it with Lucy.
“Yes, ma’am. Whatever you say.”
As I hoped, my answer satisfied her. She turned back to the stove and spoke in her usual brisk fashion. “You stay here and eat some soup. Then rest. It won’t do to have two people in the house who need nursing. Besides, Papa will be preaching tomorrow, and he’d like it if you were there.”
For once, we were in agreement. She placed a bowl of soup and a slice of warm bread in front of me, and I eagerly finished both. With a full stomach and the beacon of hope refreshed, I went to my room. Jesse would be in good hands with his mother. Zerelda could take my place until she left to go home.
I lay in my bed and remembered the look Jesse gave me. A prickling sensation raced through my body. My face, arms, legs, and even my toes tingled. I forced myself to ignore the strange feelings, closed my eyes, and tried, unsuccessfully, to sleep.
At some point, exhaustion took over. I woke in the morning, and the wisps of a pleasant dream lingered. But hard as I tried, I couldn’t recapture any of its details.