Over the next few weeks, Jesse spent most of his days and nights with me. Our relationship deepened in ways I hadn’t dreamed possible. He brought home flowers for no reason, and I happily seduced him with his favorite foods. Not even the bothersome requirement of assumed names could dim my pleasure at being Jesse’s wife.
August arrived, thick with heat and humidity. I sweltered near the fire in the kitchen, when Jesse came in and announced that he and Frank planned to leave to investigate some opportunities for investment.
“We both have families now and must support our wives in the manner they deserve,” he said.
I wiped my sleeve over my forehead. “Where are you going?”
“There are several places we mean to check out, but you shouldn’t worry. I’ll be back soon. Go stay with your sister if it makes you feel easier, but I don’t foresee any trouble. Just in case, I’ve cleaned and loaded one of my old pistols to ease your mind. It’s in the bedroom. Use it if you have to.”
“Why can’t I go? It’s been so wonderful being here together.”
His lips pursed before he shook his head. “I can’t take a wife along with me when my mind has to be focused on business.” He put a finger under my chin and gently tipped it up it. “I promise not to be gone long. A bee doesn’t stay away from a flower, does he? No, because he needs its nectar to live.”
Jesse pulled me close, and my breath left with a gasp. He rubbed his hand up and down my back and nuzzled my hair.
“Just remember you’re Josie Howard and I’m John Davis Howard, although in case you wonder, Frank has taken to calling me Dave.” Jesse pulled back and the ghost of a smile played at his mouth. “He thinks it’s a better fit than the name of an apostle.”
His fingers laced through mine. “Visit with your sisters and brothers as much as you want but keep away from those you don’t know. If anyone outside our kin asks about me, just say I’m away on business, looking to buy a farm.”
Jesse leaned down to kiss me good-bye, and his eyes gleamed with excitement. He loved to flit from one place to another, and I wanted to share that part of his life. My stomach dropped, and I buried my head against his chest, though I willed myself not to cry. His last image of me tshouldn’t be one of puffy eyes and a runny nose. Jesse was the first to pull away, flashing a grin so mischievous, it made me smile back in spite of myself.
“Jess, don’t take any foolish chances, please.”
“Always. And you’ll be glad to know Frank says he’ll bring Annie here after we get back. She can hardly wait to meet you.”
I tilted my head. “Is she in Kansas City, too?”
“No. Her father has money enough to hire people to look for her. He’s not the least bit happy she married the notorious Frank James.”
Sympathy for my new sister-in-law flooded through me. My own mother had cut me from her life when I married Jesse and it pained me to realize we might never reconcile our differences. But at least my brothers and sisters had not abandoned me. Annie had no one but Frank.
“I think she and I will have much to talk about.”
He arched a brow. “Don’t all women like to gab? By the way, Frank uses the name Ben Woodson now. He changed Annie’s name to Fannie, so don’t let yourself slip when others are around.”
While I waited for Jesse to return, I couldn’t stop wondering about what he and Frank were up to. I hoped their new venture would finally put them on the right side of the law, although I certainly didn’t want him to include the likes of the Younger brothers or Clell Miller, men from the Bushwhacker days, in any of his business affairs.
I kept myself busy as I’d always done, filled with pleasure at being mistress of my own home and able to decorate it just as I wanted. I arranged a bouquet of Black-eyed Susans I found growing near the road on a quaint table in the parlor. A colorful quilt from Zerelda fit perfectly folded over our bed. I measured the windows and walked to the mercantile to buy red-checked cotton fabric to sew curtains for the kitchen. When Jesse returned, he’d find a little house transformed into our own special home.
In the meantime, my family came to visit in dribs and drabs. Lucy proudly showed off her new baby girl. I cuddled the infant, studied her perfect features, and cooed every time she gurgled or moved a finger.
Lucy watched me with concern written on her face. “Some detectives came to our house a few days ago asking questions about Jesse and Frank. I’m worried for you, Zee. Are you certain he can keep you both from harm?”
“If anyone can do it, Jesse can. I trust him with my life and know he’ll take good care of me.” I couldn’t keep the wisp of a shadow from my voice. “I only hope he takes equal care of himself.”
“I’ve spent so much time praying marriage would be an anchor for Jesse. Do you think he’ll ever abandon his wandering life and stay home with you for good?”
My fingers picked at small pieces of lint on the baby’s blanket. “Truthfully, I’m not sure. Though his wandering wouldn’t bother me so much if we could go together. Perhaps he needs convincing that I’d be helpful when he travels.”
“Zee, don’t go with him unless he gives up defying the law. It would be too dangerous.”
“Or the best thing that ever happened. I’ve yet to see him do anything illegal when he’s with me.”
Lucy’s eyes did not meet mine, so I hurried to change the subject. “In any event, we’ve talked about moving someday, maybe to Texas, near Susie and Alan. The trouble is both he and Frank worry about Zerelda. She has so much on her hands with the children and the farm. And Reuben’s condition isn’t getting any better.”
Zerelda’s husband had continued his slow but steady decline, and I realized this small sorrow provided another reason Jesse would be reluctant to leave Missouri for any length of time.
After Lucy left, her concerns magnified mine. I found myself looking out the window more frequently, twisting a towel between my hands at every sound. I’d had no word from Jesse except a scrawled note delivered by a nameless rider. The note said he planned to return near the end of September, and I comforted myself that at least he was alive. Then I remembered with a start how similar my thoughts were to those from before we were wed. Like Lucy, I had hoped marriage would settle him.
For the time being, I had no choice but to live my life normally as possible. It wasn’t easy. The first time I played the role of Josie Howard, my cheeks sizzled with embarrassment. But soon the deception became second nature. One afternoon, I walked to the mercantile to restock the pantry, and noticed a small poster tacked on the wall. It offered a reward for information leading to the arrest of Jesse or Frank James. My stomach lurched, and I swallowed before going inside to see Mr. Arnell, the shop clerk.
“Good morning, Mrs. Howard, what can I do for you today?”
I handed him my list and watched as he measured out sugar, flour, and coffee to my satisfaction. A newspaper on the counter caught my eye, declaring the James gang had struck again. My hand shook when I paid Mr. Arnell and he put the change in my palm.
“And when will Mr. Howard be back?”
“Oh, I think within a short time,” I answered, and hoped my words were true.
I stepped outside, pulled my straw hat down to shade my eyes, and hurried home in the warm September sun. With arms too full to do anything about it, the hem of my blue flowered dress dragged through the dust. Oh, well, laundry was the least of my worries.
Birds chirped merrily as I rounded the corner to see a buggy in front of the house.I stopped short, and wondered whether to go home or turn and walk away, when I noticed someone on the porch. A familiar figure leaned against the post with his arms crossed. Jesse! I kept my eyes fixed on him and hurtled down the road like a comet.
The packages tumbled onto the porch when he pulled me into his arms and pressed his lips to mine. My body tightened, helpless with relief and then desire, during the lingering kiss. Someone cleared his throat and I reluctantly pulled away to see Frank on the porch swing with his arm around a beautiful blue-eyed woman who had the palest yellow hair I’d ever seen.
Jesse bowed with a flourish. “Josie, I’d like you to meet Ben’s new wife, Fannie Woodson.”
She rose and extended her hand. “I’m so pleased to meet you, Josie. Ben and Dave”—her eyes twinkled when she used the assumed names—“described you so well, I would have recognized you anywhere.”
Annie—or Fannie, as I reminded myself—stood only a bit taller than me, but in her deep blue traveling dress with a lovely veiled hat perched high on her head, I looked dowdy. I smoothed my well-worn calico and blushed at the dirty hem before I lifted my chin to smile at her. “I can see Ben made a good match. I’m very happy to welcome you into our family.”
Impulsively, I embraced her, and she responded in kind. In that instant, I knew we would become fast friends as well as kin. How could we not? After all, we were both married to men hunted by countless others.
A neighbor walked near the house and stopped to stare. Jesse waved and then bent to retrieve the packages scattered on the porch. He took my arm and led me into the privacy of our home.
“Black-eyed Susans! They’re my favorite flower.” Annie touched the blossoms.
“I love them too. Their color always cheers me.” I carried the supplies into the kitchen before taking a seat next to Jesse. He slipped an arm across my shoulders.
“We made some pretty good trades on this trip, sweetheart, and found a few lucrative deals. If things keep going the way they are, we won’t need to rent a house much longer. I’ll build you a fine new place that looks the way you want it to.”
“I’m just relieved you’re back home.” My words rushed out before I could stop them. “I admit my nerves have been stretched. Just this morning, I saw a bounty poster at the mercantile asking for information on you and Frank.”
“You know we only do what any Southern man worth his salt would. And it’s not just us. Haven’t you been reading the newspapers? We’re among a group of men considered the last Southern heroes, still striking blows against Federal-held businesses to avenge the Confederacy. You should be proud, not afraid.”
“I haven’t picked up a newspaper since our honeymoon, and I’m not sure I want to. Anything can happen when you keep putting yourself in harm’s way.”
“I know how to get around in the dark and stay out of trouble. I’m like a coyote hunting at night. I like it best when the sky’s black as ink and no one can see me watch them.”
I stared at Jesse. Did he really believe he could become invisible to the rest of the world? Did Frank? I glanced at Annie whose brows had scrunched together. Did I sound disloyal? Was I stirring up her fears?
I stood abruptly. “After your travel, you must be parched. Wait here and let me bring you some cool water to quench your thirst.”
Later, with Annie’s help, I prepared dinner and we spent the evening cautiously avoiding mention of any topics except casual ones. I discovered Annie had planned to become a schoolteacher before she ran away to marry Frank. I wasn’t surprised. She had a sweet, genuine personality that I instantly warmed to and knew she would make a natural teacher. I swallowed my disappointment when Frank said he had rented a house two miles away, deeming it unwise to be any closer to Jesse. It would have been nice to have Annie close enough so we could visit each day.
After they climbed back into the carriage and drove away, I thought of Susie in Texas and imagined living a normal life far from Missouri. If Jesse and I left, perhaps Frank and Annie would follow. We could be neighbors and raise our families together. If I laid my plans as carefully as William Quantrill had laid his, neither Annie or I would have to live in fear of an arrest or lynching.
Spirit soaring with the possibilities, I turned down the light in the front room and joined Jesse in bed.