Chapter Twenty-Two

 

RONI WOKE WITH a start when the bedroom door slammed open against the wall. She groaned, rolled over, and held a pillow tightly over her head. The mattress sank and bounced as somebody plopped down heavily next to her. It could only be Beth. She waited a few minutes and heard nothing. She finally gave in to the silence and rolled onto her back but kept the pillow over her eyes. A bass drum banged a two-beat rhythm inside her head. She finally peeked out. It was Beth.

“Did you really have to make such a racket?”

“I wanted to make sure you were still alive. Dad just told me you came home and have a mild concussion. Didn’t they teach you anything? You’re not supposed to go to sleep when you’re concussed.”

“Doc said I could sleep. He wasn’t that worried about me.”

“Well, I am! And why didn’t you call me last night when you got home?”

Roni draped an arm on top of the pillow and over her eyes. “It was late.”

“Sorry, that won’t cut it. You forget I’m up at all hours of the night with a baby stuck to my boob.”

Roni giggled at the vision that popped into her head. She barely refrained from uttering a sarcastic retort that immediately came to mind. “Speaking of, where is my niece?”

“I left her with Mom. I didn’t want her to meet you for the first time if you were dead.”

“See? And here you thought you wouldn’t be a good mother.”

“Hmm, that remains to be seen. It all depends on whether I get thrown into prison for killing Jeff.”

“I tried to warn you before you got married.”

“I know, I know. At least you don’t faint at the mere sight of blood.”

She yanked the pillow off her face and squinted against the light. “He fainted?”

“Yup, dropped dead in the middle of my last push. I should have married you instead.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “You don’t mean that.” Have I misread Beth all these years? “You love Jeff,” she said, not sure if she was trying to reassure Beth or herself.

“Yes, most days I do. I think he’ll make a really good father once the baby grows out of all the icky stuff.”

“Like oozing nuclear waste and eating her feet and boogers?”

“Exactly. And projectile vomiting.”

“You could be looking at a few years, you know.”

Beth threw her head back and looked at the ceiling. “Oh, God. I’m doomed. Tell me you didn’t eat boogers when you were a kid.”

“I didn’t, but—”

“Jeff? Jeff ate them?” Roni snorted and Beth crinkled her nose in obvious disgust. “Ewww. I’m never letting him kiss me with tongue again. Why didn’t you tell me before we got married?”

“Because you were already sucking face with him. Would it have made a difference?”

“No. I don’t know. Maybe I should’ve been a lesbian.”

Roni laughed. “Beth, you don’t just become a lesbian.” Jesus, what’s come over her that she’s talking like this? It had to be hormones, or maybe the baby on her tit thing.

“I know. I shouldn’t have said that.” Beth patted her leg. “I’m glad you’re okay. I hated worrying about you.”

“Don’t you worry about Jeff?” She put the pillow behind her head and reached for the water glass and aspirin.

“Not as much.”

“Why? Because he’s a guy?” She popped the pills in her mouth and took a long drink.

“No.” Beth fidgeted, looked down, and folded her hands in her lap. She took a deep breath. “Because you don’t have anybody to love.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I love you and—”

Beth smiled warmly. “You know that’s different.”

The last silver string of misguided affection unraveled from Roni’s heart. For some inexplicable reason she didn’t have the energy to comprehend, she suddenly felt more at ease and freer in spirit than she could ever remember.

“I know. But I’m forever grateful that you’re still my best friend.” Roni nudged her with a shoulder.

Tears welled up and spilled onto Beth’s cheeks. “Sometimes I feel like I let you down by marrying Jeff. I know you felt left out at times, but I didn’t know how to fix it or make you feel better. You looked so lost and alone, and it just broke my heart.” Beth sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

“Beth.”

“I so badly want you to find someone to love and who’ll treat you right. You deserve that, Roni.” Fresh tears rolled out of her eyes.

“Beth!” Roni leaned forward and took Beth’s hands in her own. “Stop. You need to get a hold of yourself.” She reached over to the nightstand and pulled a tissue from a box. “Here, wipe those tears.”

“I’m sorry. I swear I’m never going to have another baby. I can’t stand getting emotional all the damned time. You know I’m not normally like this.” Beth took the tissue, wiped her eyes, and blew her nose.

“I know. It’ll get better, I’m sure. Or you’ll get used to it like all broodmares do.” She barely avoided the slap and chuckled. “I do need to tell you something though.” She sat up straighter in bed. Thankfully, the aspirin was beginning to take effect. “You remember the SAR Mike convinced Dad and you that we needed and, eventually, sent up?”

Beth nodded and sniffed. “Yeah, Selena, right?”

“Right. Well, I’ve gotten to know her pretty well and we’ve become . . . pretty close.” Roni felt the heat of a blush creep up her neck.

“Do you know how cute you look in red?” Beth’s damp eyes sparkled with amusement.

“Shut up and let me finish.” She took a deep breath. Telling Selena she’d held a torch for Beth for years was one thing. Telling Beth was a completely different thing. “She gets me, you know? It’s been hard these past few years, with you and Jeff. I mean, for so long we were best friends and—”

“We’re still best friends,” Beth said. “Aren’t we?”

“Absolutely. But you’re right. For a long time I felt so much more for you than friendship. I’d always hoped, well, anyway, when you and Jeff got married, I was really happy for you guys. Then I realized I wasn’t part of your life anymore.”

“Of course you’re part of my life. What a ridiculous thing to say.”

Roni shook her head and took another drink of water to gather her thoughts. “Just hear me out.” She looked up at the ceiling. “Ah, how can I say this without fucking it up?” She looked at Beth’s concerned face. “It’s just that when the three of us are together, everything is just like it’s always been. Then when you and Jeff head off together, you’re right, I feel, felt, left out. You’re creating your own memories. Hell, you have a baby together.” She snorted. “It’s not your fault,” she said quickly as Beth opened her mouth. “It was me. Totally. I went from woman to woman to satisfy my needs, but I never let anybody into my heart. I didn’t because I let you occupy such a big part of it.”

“I am so sorry.” Beth took her hand and squeezed.

“No, no, you don’t have to apologize for anything. I had no idea what was going on in my head. Selena helped me figure it out. I’m the one that should apologize. My temper tantrums and moodiness were reactions to the frustration I felt.”

“This Selena sounds pretty smart.”

“She is. She’s one of the most intelligent and capable people I know. She helped me figure out some of Sparky’s issues too.”

“Dad said something about him killing the mountain lion. That’s pretty brave for a horse, isn’t it?”

“It sure is. I’ve decided to buy him from Dad. You should’ve seen how stoic Sparky was. He grabbed onto my shirt and stood stock still while the vet stitched him up. I’m so proud of him.” She threw the covers back and swung her feet out. Puller jumped off the bed and stood by the door. Her head pounded some but not enough to keep her bedridden. She got up and rummaged around in her dresser for a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt.

“Where do you think you’re going? Aren’t you supposed to take it easy for a few days?” Beth stood up and put her hands on her hips.

“Don’t worry. I’m not helping to bale the hay. I need to doctor Sparky and get some breakfast.” Roni pulled the shirt over her head, tucked it in, and zipped up her pants. “Then, I want to meet my niece, since I’m not dead.” She pulled her boots on, gave Beth a cocky smirk, and turned toward the door. “Coming?”

“Of course. Who else is going to babysit you while you’re here? Just promise you’ll take it easy. Otherwise I’m going to have to radio Selena to come down here and whip your ass.” Beth paused. “Unless you like—Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

Roni stretched her neck and shoulders to loosen up the kinks in her sore muscles. “Cross my heart. And for the record, the handcuffs are more fun.”

“Oh my God, I’ll never learn. I just walk right into your wiseass sarcasm.”

“Who said it’s sarcasm?” She ignored Beth’s gaping mouth and opened the front door of her log cabin. Puller trotted out ahead of them in the direction of her parent’s house. He’d whine and scratch at their door until her mom let him in and fed him breakfast. After which he’d curl up on her mom’s lap while she sat in her recliner, drank tea, and worked on her morning crossword.

Beth followed Roni to the horse barn. Although there were two other structures on the property used to house the ranch horses, Roni favored the tall and spacious monitor-roof barn to keep the animals they had in training. Built in 1910 by her grandfather, the raised section inside the ridge of the rooftop allowed more natural light and ventilation inside the barn. The monitor housed the track for the Jackson hayfork, which left more space available inside the loft.

Roni briefly glanced at the tongue-and-groove siding as they approached and mentally noted the need for a replacement board along the bottom of the north side. The barn had stalls for eleven horses, but Sparky was the only occupant.

“You son of a bitch! I’ll teach you, you Goddamned bastard!”

Roni recognized the owner of the voice. She took off at a dead run and covered the distance to the barn door in a few seconds.

“Charlie, you touch him and you’ll answer to me,” she yelled as she whipped around the corner. She ignored the resumed pounding in her head.

“What’s he doing in here anyway? He’s supposed to be in my barn. Your father gave him to me to break.” He stopped short of Sparky’s stall door. He held a long buggy whip in his raised hand. Roni had no doubts what his intentions were.

“Not anymore. He’s mine. And I swear if you ever go near this horse again, I’ll have you fired.” She strode over to him and grabbed the whip out of his hand.

He spit a wad of tobacco juice near her foot, pointed at her chest, and said, “You damned women have no place around horses like him.”

Roni clenched her fists and took a threatening step in his direction. He instinctively backed up and found himself near a stall door. Sparky’s door. Suddenly Sparky reached over the top and grabbed Charlie’s shirt collar in his teeth. He yanked Charlie back and slammed him hard against the wood. The resounding thud echoed loud in the barn. Tossing his head, Sparky pitched Charlie aside like a ragdoll. Charlie landed in a dusty heap. He shook his head and cursed like a mad hornet.

“Sparky obviously thinks as much of you as I do. Now get the fuck out of here.” Roni struggled to control the quiver of a smile and the laughter that swelled in her chest.

Charlie got up and brushed off the back of his trousers. He straightened his hat and spit onto the dirt floor again. He glared at Roni and stormed out.

She watched his retreating back. “I don’t trust him.”

Beth had stood just inside the barn during the encounter. She joined Roni in front of Sparky’s stall. Sparky came to the door and nickered against Roni’s chest.

“I don’t trust him either,” Beth said. “Boy, Sparky is so different from when he first came to the ranch.” She petted his nose.

“I know. David called him my once-in-a-lifetime horse. I totally agree.” She rubbed Sparky’s face. “Don’t get me wrong. Chenoa is an awesome horse. But I think Sparky and I have a lot in common.”

“Who’s David?” Beth made herself comfortable on a bale of hay.

“He’s the father of the kid we were searching for. He also hauled me and the horses back to the farm.” Roni took a halter and lead rope from the hook next to her and put it on Sparky.

“Ah, I wondered who brought you back here. Dad just told me you’d hitched a ride.”

“Sparky’s injuries were too severe for me to take care of, and Selena insisted I see a doctor anyway. Dad picked me up at the vet clinic, took me to the doctor, and then we went back to the vet’s and brought Sparky home.” She opened the door, led the horse out, and dropped the lead rope. “Hey, big guy. How’re you doing this morning?” She ran her hand along his neck and back to his flank. “These look pretty good. No heat or sign of infection.”

Beth came over and looked. “Holy crap! Those are bad! I can’t believe he survived that attack.”

“And he went into it willingly. That’s how I got clobbered. I was reaching for the gun to take a shot at the cat, and that’s when Sparky charged it. I don’t remember anything after that. When I came to, Cody told me what happened.” She spread antibiotic salve on the wounds as she talked. “I think Cody did as much rescuing as I did. His father and I exchanged phone numbers before they left. Cody wants me to teach him some natural horsemanship, so I promised to keep in touch.” She smiled and remembered the bear hug Cody had given her before he climbed into the truck.

She turned Sparky out into a round pen used for training. Like before, she wanted to allow him the opportunity to move around while he healed. She threw some hay in with him and turned to Beth. “Ready for some breakfast?”

“Yep.” Beth put her hands under her breasts and hefted them. “Have to keep these boobs producing. Speaking of which, somebody’s probably hungry.”

Roni put her arm around Beth’s shoulders as they walked to the main house. She smiled as she felt an arm snake around her waist and pull her close.

“I’m glad Selena makes you happy. I can see it in your eyes that she does.”

“Me too. And I’m glad you don’t hate me for secretly being in love with you.”

“I could never hate you. But don’t think that I won’t tease you about it.” Beth dug her fingers into Roni’s side and made her squeak.

“I can see I’m going to be spending the rest of my life in a tortured state.”

“Not necessarily. Your brother lives with me, remember? I’m the one you and your parents should pity.”

“Hmm, very true.” She picked up her pace and skipped a little. “I can’t wait to meet my niece!”

“I can’t wait for you to see her. We’ve been calling her ‘Little Roni’ because she looks so much like you when you were a baby.”

They climbed the four steps up to the porch and walked through the open door. The front room was bright, spacious, and airy. Pine flooring matched the huge hand-hewn beams that supported the ceiling. Native American relics and numerous family photos covered nearly the entire wall space. Cinnamon permeated the air and Roni knew her mom had made French toast, a favorite breakfast of hers.

“Mom?” Puller trotted out of the kitchen and wagged his tail. “How many bad things has Mom been feeding you, you little mooch?”

“In here, honey.”

They walked into the kitchen and found Barbara Oatman holding Ashley in one arm and dishing out breakfast with the other. Time had been very generous to her mom. Her dark hair, braided into one long strand, barely showed any gray. Like her kids, she stood tall and lean. Her face showed none of the wrinkles so often seen in women who’d lived their entire lives on a ranch.

“Here, Mom, let me take her from you.” Beth took Ashley in her arms and carried her over to Roni. “Wash your hands, and you can hold her.”

Roni did as she was told and gingerly took the baby. The unique warm smell babies exude wafted up as she held her semi-namesake.

“Hey there, midget.” The baby’s bright blue eyes mesmerized her. She bounced her a little, and Ashley smiled. “Oh my, look at those dimples. And I can’t believe how much hair she has!”

“She’s the spitting image of you when you were a baby, Roni.” Barbara took a food-laden plate into the adjoining dining room. “Beth, she was grousing a little bit ago. I think she might be getting hungry.”

Beth looked at Roni and laughed. “Does she need changing too?”

Roni scrunched her nose and nodded. “You can give her back when she smells good again.”

While Beth disappeared into the living room, Roni took a seat at the table. Bacon, eggs, and a pot of coffee were already sitting on warmers. “Wow, Mom. You didn’t have to cook all this.”

“I figured you’d be starved for some good cooking. I never know what you and Jeff live on at the cabin.” Barbara walked over and tilted Roni’s head to the light. “This doesn’t look too bad. How’re you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess. I woke up with a helluva headache. Of course I’m not sure if it was from the whack upside the head or Beth coming in like a bull elephant.”

“I heard that!” Beth said from the other room. “I told you I had to make sure you were still alive.”

“So you said.” Roni speared a helping of French toast with her fork, put it on her plate, and spread gobs of butter over it. Her mouth watered uncontrollably from all the tantalizing smells.

“Go ahead and eat without me. I’ll probably be in here for a little while.”

“Oh for God’s sake, Beth. I’ve seen your boobs. If you want to nurse and eat at the same time, I doubt Mom will mind.”

“It’d be better than eating cold food,” Barbara added.

“Okay. I guess it’s not exactly fair for Ashley to get a hot meal and not me. I’ll be right in.”

Barbara poured two cups of coffee and she sat down.

“How are you liking having a baby around the house, Mom?” Roni said.

“You shouldn’t have to ask. I love doting over that little darling. I’m just sorry Beth’s parents went back to Arizona so soon. I don’t know why anybody would want to retire in a ridiculously hot place like Phoenix. They say the humidity is just as bad as Florida because of all the swimming pools.”

“To each their own I guess.”

“How is Selena working out up there?” Roni looked up just as Beth came in. She narrowed her eyes as Beth shrugged and batted her eyes innocently. “She’s fine. Mike chose well.”

“Do you think she’ll stick around after you come down?”

“Why would she?” Two could play at this game. Her mom had obviously heard something, and based on Beth’s behavior, she knew what it was.

“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve heard stories about how hard long-distance relationships can be.”

“I guess it’s up to her.” Roni took a handful of bacon and a helping of eggs. She picked up her coffee and sipped at it. The memory of when she came out to her parents flashed through her head. They’d accepted the fact she was a lesbian, but she’d never been sure how her parents would react if she ever brought anybody home with her. Until now, it had been a moot point.

“I hope she decides to stay. She spent a couple nights here before she first went up and then a night a week ago or so. She’s a lovely woman, and I know your father really likes her.”

“Roni needs somebody to keep her in line and out of trouble.” Beth gave her a teasing smile. Barbara scooped food onto Beth’s plate. Roni figured with the little appendage locked onto her tit, it’d be hard for Beth to do it herself.

“We’ll see.” She dabbed her mouth and sat back in her chair. “That was delightful, Mom. Thanks.” She looked over at the unoccupied end of the table. “Where’s Dad today?”

“He had some auction that he just had to go to over in Grangeville. He’ll be back later. Hopefully for supper, but you know your father.”

“Yes, I do.”

 

RONI SPENT THE next four days doctoring Sparky in the morning, and in the afternoons, her father kept her busy halter breaking the few yearlings they’d bred on the farm. Charlie stood on the sidelines and kept a steady glower pointed in her direction. Her father didn’t seem to notice, much to her disappointment. The more she saw Charlie, the less comfortable she felt around him.

She kept a close eye on Sparky and let him out as much as possible. There were only a few places in the immediate vicinity of the house that she couldn’t see the round pen and her horse. When Sparky wasn’t in her line of sight, she checked on him often. If she saw Charlie, she knew the horse was safe.

On the fifth day, she started feeling antsy. The yearlings were all responsive and leading well on a loose line. She felt certain her father would soon turn them out into the “little” one-thousand-acre pasture. Instead of mountain grass, the young horses would have the lushness of the summer prairie on which to graze.

As was her morning routine, she headed to the barn before breakfast. Puller parted ways with her and trotted off in the direction of the house. She was just about to round the corner and go through the barn door when she heard voices. She quickly recognized them as her father’s and Charlie’s. When she heard Charlie say Sparky’s name, she stopped in her tracks and eavesdropped.

“You know this here horse can’t be trusted, boss,” Charlie said. “I’m the best one around here to take that viciousness out of him.”

“No,” Roni whispered. “Please, Dad, don’t.” Her heart pounded rapidly, and she felt a cold panic settle in her chest.

“Charlie,” Joseph said, “I had a dream. I was hoping it was one the Coyote trickster put in my head, but now I’m certain it wasn’t. I know what you did to this horse, and I’m not pleased. My ancestors taught me to keep a horse’s spirit intact. For you never know when you’ll have to call upon it for help. My daughter brought this horse’s heart back from the dead and has given him life again.”

“But, boss—”

She smiled and had to work hard to keep from laughing. In her mind she could see her father’s hand go up to silence Charlie. She swelled with pride upon hearing his words.

“Listen to me. I want you to leave this horse and my daughter alone. They have a special magic instilled upon them now. From this day forward, Sparky will be Roni’s horse. I am done talking.”

Roni moved to the side of the barn, out of sight, so they wouldn’t see her as they exited the barn.

“Good morning, daughter,” Joseph said quietly as he passed by without looking at her.

She chuckled to herself. He always had a way of knowing where she was. She waited until Charlie stormed out in the opposite direction before she entered the barn.

Each morning she took Chenoa and Puller out for a ride. Sparky was healing nicely, and she decided today she’d pony him beside her to see how he would do. The snow-capped mountains in the distance made her miss Selena all the more. She anxiously looked forward to seeing her again and hoped it would be within the next few days.

After breakfast she tacked up and rode out. She watched Sparky trot beside her. He showed no sign of lameness or stiffness and seemed happy to get out and stretch his legs. She took care to not let him overdo it. If he popped a stitch or formed a hematoma in any of his wounds, it would surely delay her return to the mountains. And Selena.

Every night she radioed the cabin from her dad’s office. Conversation was short, and obviously they had to stick to business. Just hearing Selena’s voice made her heart swell with affection. She hoped she could convince her father that Sparky was well enough to make the trip up in a couple days. As for her, the headache had disappeared. The wound on her head had scabbed over and was no longer tender to the touch.

She enjoyed spending time with Beth and the baby. She felt their relationship had changed for the better. She no longer carried the heavy load of emotions on her shoulders, and she discovered again how much fun it was to be around her best friend. She knew she’d miss them when she returned to the mountains, but the season was rapidly growing to an end and they’d soon be closing up shop for the winter. A little pea of doubt had settled in her chest about her relationship with Selena. She hoped it would dissolve upon their reunion.