Raina wasn’t a complication that I needed. It was possible she carried my child within her already. I’d come inside her multiple times and planned to do it again soon. But a pregnancy could pose a problem. A rather large one. I’d had my eye on a certain lady who would make an excellent wife, especially for someone wanting to climb the ranks of the Bratva. While she might turn a blind eye to me keeping a mistress, a child would be an issue if Raina became noticeably pregnant before I sealed the deal with Natalia Gorev. Her father, Fedor Gorev, had the ear of the Vor.
I didn’t normally keep a mistress, but I had an apartment I kept for just such a purpose. Having nowhere else to take her, I’d brought Raina here and placed her on the bed. Pacing the room, I wasn’t coming up with any ideas on how to handle the problem. As much as I didn’t need a child with her, the morning-after pill wasn’t a possibility. There were some lines even I wouldn’t cross, that being one of them. I would never kill my child, especially before they had a chance to be born.
I could keep them both here, but if I didn’t sign papers and have an official engagement with Natalia before Raina showed -- if she was even pregnant -- then the entire deal would unravel. Having been raised around the Bratva, Natalia knew what I expected of her. Her family had trained her to become the wife of someone like me. She’d turn a blind eye to any indiscretions and be on my arm for all events and parties. She’d run my home, do charity work, and whatever the hell else the other wives did in their spare time.
Folding my arms, I came to a stop next to the bed and stared down at Raina. Although she was a little too thin, her hips and overall bone structure told me she’d fill out nicely with some regular meals. I couldn’t help but reach out and run my fingers over her silky skin. She was beautiful in her own way, and she captivated me. Which made her incredibly dangerous. If I were smart, I’d keep her here long enough to ensure there wasn’t a child, then give her to someone else.
Apparently, I wasn’t smart because I had no intention of giving her up. While I’d always worn condoms if I fucked any of the whores in the brothels, I detested them. I’d always been careful and ensured I protected my paramours against pregnancy, and I got tested frequently, and made sure they did the same. But Raina was different. For whatever reason, I’d listened to my baser instincts and taken her bare. It had been foolish. Even if she’d claimed to be clean, what if she wasn’t?
The way her previous owner had reacted when he’d seen me fuck her without protection made me think she was safe. No, it was clear he always made men wear a condom when he’d let them fuck her. It didn’t make it foolproof. Condoms broke and accidents happened. The fact he’d had her since she was so small had infuriated me. I knew that had to be part of why I’d lost all reason. Knowing he’d allowed men to have her, to treat her like a whore, when she’d likely still been a young teen, if even that, made me see red.
I was no angel. Never pretended to be. I’d done unspeakable things in my life. Usually at someone else’s order, but it didn’t change the fact I’d harmed women, killed men, and had done it all without a hint of remorse or guilt. The things the Bratva had ordered me to do were jobs and nothing more. A man doesn’t pay his debts or try to cheat the Bratva? Fine. We take his wife as payment and use her in front of him to drive home the point -- we are in charge.
Leeds giving Raina to me, or anyone else he owed a debt, was no different. If I hadn’t had easy access to pussy anytime I wanted, his offer might have tempted me. I hadn’t accepted because of his debt. It had been her. Seeing her bound, on display, had made me hungry for her. Learning she’d been used since she’d been much younger had infuriated me. But after I started with her, and she said the others would use her when I was finished… it had twisted something inside me, made me want to be someone other than the monster she’d see when she closed her eyes. Not one woman had ever seen me as anything more than a creature of darkness. They feared me, even when they wanted me. Or rather, the power that would come with tying their names to mine. They wanted wealth and a certain level of protection. None of them had cared about me personally. Only what I could give them.
I loosened her braid and ran my fingers through her hair. It was long, thick, and beautiful. It wasn’t silky and smooth like most of the women I dealt with, but in this case, different was good. The strands were still wet, and slightly coarse. I feathered my fingers over her cheek, wondering when she’d wake up. I’d been as gentle as I could, but I’d needed her unconscious for the journey here. That and she’d pissed me off by telling me to kill her.
I didn’t know how old she was. My stomach twisted at the thought she might still be underage. I hadn’t stopped to ask. Leeds had said she’d become a woman before they’d used her, which meant she’d had her period. Didn’t mean she was eighteen or older now. Shit. I should have clarified. Even monsters had rules, and I’d never knowingly harmed a child.
My phone rang, and I answered, seeing Viktor’s name on the screen.
“What do you need?” I asked, knowing he wouldn’t call without a reason.
“Why am I hearing from Leeds about his debt being reduced?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, wishing the asshole had waited. This wasn’t a conversation I wished to have with Viktor just yet. I needed to figure things out. Mostly, I needed to know what I wanted to do with Raina.
“I’d planned to discuss it with you tomorrow. I lowered what he owes by one thousand dollars.” I paused. Leeds hadn’t demanded more when I’d left. I knew the man feared me. Now that I was gone, would he try to get Viktor to lower the debt more? If he did, I’d discuss it with Viktor. The asshole should be grateful I let him live.
Viktor growled, and I heard him slam his fist onto his desk. “And why would you do that?”
“He had a girl chained up. He’d stripped her, locked her to a table, and offered me the use of her to reduce what he owes.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Viktor, he’s had her since she was only a child. All she’s known is pain.”
“And where is she now?”
I glanced at the bed. “The apartment I keep for my mistresses. I didn’t find out until after I’d accepted his offer she wasn’t on birth control. It’s possible she’s pregnant.”
Viktor started cursing, and I heard him pacing. “Are you telling me you fucked a child?”
“What?” I turned away from the sight of Raina in my bed. “Of course not! Although, I didn’t ask how old she is now. As far as I know, she’s at least eighteen. I need to keep her here until I know if she’s carrying my child.”
“And your engagement?” he asked.
“This complicates things. I need to lock down an agreement with Gorev before anyone finds out about Raina. His daughter knows to look the other way. However, I can’t guarantee her father will give me her hand if they find out I may have gotten Raina pregnant. I need that marriage to go through, Viktor.”
Viktor didn’t say a word, which didn’t bode well for me. When my brigadier went silent, bad things happened. Ever since he’d married, some of his hardness had smoothed out. He was no less capable of killing when the occasion called for it, but when it came to women and children, something had changed.
“I’m sending Aleksi to your apartment.”
“Why?” I asked, my brow furrowing.
“As you said, this girl is a complication you don’t need right now. If she’s in fact carrying your child, we can deal with that later. For now, I think it’s best if someone else handles her care.”
“Nyet. Viktor, you can’t just come in here and take my…” I didn’t know how to finish the sentence. My what? She wasn’t my mistress. Certainly not my wife. She was an inconvenience. I should be thankful he wanted to have someone take her off my hands. So why wasn’t I jumping at the chance? “Give me some time. At least a few days. She’s had a shock and we should ease her into this.”
“Feliks, I’ve known you a long time. It wasn’t very far in the past, you insinuated you’d fuck my wife when I tired of her. Why should I leave that poor girl in your care?” Viktor asked.
Even if they hadn’t been married yet, I still remember my words to his wife. I’d like to say I’d changed since then, but I hadn’t. I heard a gasp behind me and whirled to find Raina sitting up in the bed. Her eyes were wide, and her hand went to her throat as she looked around. Her gaze landed on me and she froze. A tear slipped down her cheek, then again. Fuck! I didn’t know what to do with a crying woman.
“Viktor, I need to go. Raina is awake.”
“Aleksi will be there within the next three days and not a moment later,” Viktor said. “I’ll give you that much, but nothing more. You’re pushing it already, Feliks. You know the right thing is to give her up -- or forgo the marriage to Natalia. Don’t ask for more. You won’t get it.”
The call disconnected before I could tell him the fucker wasn’t needed.
“Where am I?” Raina asked.
“Somewhere safe.” I scanned her body, enjoying the sight. It would be a pity to cover her, but I knew she needed clothing. Walking over to the dresser, I pulled out the drawers until I found what I wanted. A discarded nightgown from a previous lover. I’d shred it once I bought her new things, but with Aleksi arriving at any moment, I needed her to dress in something. “Put this on.”
She took the garment from me and pulled it over her head, running her fingers over the silky material. “Is it mine? I mean, can I keep it?”
“Nyet. I will buy you something better.” I sat on the edge of the bed and reached out, lightly touching her cheek. “You have nothing to fear, kroshka. You’re safe here.”
“Is this your home?” she asked.
I shook my head. I didn’t know how to tell her I intended it for my mistress. After all she’d been through, I didn’t want to hurt her more. And yet, I didn’t want to lie to her either.
“What is this place?” she asked, wrapping her arms around her middle. “Is it where…”
“Where what?”
“Am I in one of the brothels you mentioned?” she asked softly.
The thought of her working on her back, letting other men touch her… anger surged inside me. It made little sense, but now that I’d tasted her, brought her pleasure, I felt a bond of sorts. Or perhaps it had to do with the potential child growing inside her. Whatever the case, I’d never allow her to work in one of those places. Not after all she’d suffered.
“Nyet. You are not a whore, Raina. You’re… mine.” My brow furrowed. I hadn’t meant to say that, and yet it was true. I didn’t want to let her go.
“Yours?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
She looked around the room again. “This isn’t your home, so it’s… mine? If I’m not a whore, does that make me your… I don’t know what to call it.”
“Mistress,” I said. “Would that bother you?”
She stared at me a moment. “Are you married?”
“Not yet, but soon. An engagement should be announced within the week. You will not be a prisoner here, Raina. You may leave and go shopping, go out to eat. Whatever your heart desires. I’ll provide you with funds and a driver.”
“Will your wife know about me?” she asked.
“Natalia’s family has trained her to look the other way. She’ll be a proper Russian wife and know what’s expected. When I need to attend an event, she’ll be on my arm. But when I need passion, I’ll be here with you.”
She looked around the room again, seeming to take it all in. I knew such an offer would offend some women. But those women hadn’t been through the horrors Raina had. Leeds had treated her as a whore long before she should have ever known the touch of a man.
“Is that common? Keeping two women?” she asked.
“For men like me? Yes. Some keep more than one mistress. Will it bother you? Knowing I’m married to another?” Her answer wouldn’t matter. If I wanted to keep her, I would. Besides, where else would she go?
She hesitated, but I could tell she thought over the question. At least she hadn’t blurted an answer. When she finally spoke, I’d know it was a decision she hadn’t come to lightly.
“You won’t let others use me?” she asked. “I’ll be with you and only you?”
“Of course, lastachka. Any man who touches you will answer to me.”
Her shoulders sagged, and she blew out a breath. I still didn’t feel certain about her answer. Was she pleased with this turn of events? Pissed? Had I hurt her feelings? I knew women to be emotional creatures, and yet Raina seemed more reserved than most.
“What happens when you don’t want me anymore?” she asked.
I cupped her cheek. “Kroshka, I don’t see me tiring of you soon. Possibly never. We’ll worry about that when the time comes, but I won’t throw you out onto the streets with no way to care for yourself. That much I can promise.”
She placed her hand over mine and leaned into my touch. “Thank you, Feliks.”
“Would you like to shower? Are you hungry?” I tipped my head to the side and studied her. When had she last eaten? “I can order out and have something delivered. We’ll stock the kitchen tomorrow.”
“Anything would be good. All Gary let me have was plain oatmeal or buttered bread. He said anything else was a waste.”
My poor Raina. So abused and mistreated. I’d treat her like a queen, for however long I had her. It might take me a while to convince Viktor to allow her to remain with me. I didn’t want to relinquish her to Aleksi or anyone else. Raina was mine, and I’d see to it she had everything she needed. “I’ll have a few dishes delivered. Go ahead and start the shower, Raina. Use as much hot water as you like.” After my last mistress, I’d cleaned the place out. All new bedding, towels, and even the soap and hair products were new. I didn’t know what scents Raina would like, but the ones available would suffice for now.
I helped her stand and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll check on you in a moment.”
She gave me a nod and slight smile before going into the bathroom. She left the door open, and I watched her as I ordered our food. Even now, my cock hardened, and I wanted her again. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so attracted to a woman. Usually once would be enough to get them out of my system. Even my mistresses hadn’t inspired me to take them more than once or twice, and I’d come inside Raina multiple times already.
The thought of risking a pregnancy should have been a deterrent. Now that I knew she wasn’t on anything, I should be more careful. And yet… I enjoyed the feel of her without a barrier between us. While I needed Natalia, the idea of Raina carrying my child made my cock hard. I wanted to fuck her again and again, until I knew my seed had taken. Until her, I’d have never done such a thing.
I didn’t know why or how, but she was different from anyone I’d met before. I hoped I had enough time to figure out why I wanted her as much as I did. Viktor could be persistent. The few days I’d asked for may or may not be granted. But until someone showed up to take Raina away, I’d spend as much time with her as I could.
* * *
I’d never had a hot shower before. The water felt like heaven, and I wanted to cry at how something so simple could mean so much to me. I reached for the shampoo and lathered my hair, then used the scented soap to wash my body. I’d never had such luxuries before. Even though Feliks hadn’t said I had to leave the door open, or the shower, I’d done both out of habit. At least with the sexy man in the other room, I didn’t mind him watching me. In fact, his gaze made me feel warm all over.
When he entered the bathroom and began removing his clothes, my heart beat a little faster. Other men or chains had always held me down. Before Feliks, no one had freed me before fucking me. What would it be like to be intimate with him outside that environment? He’d been the only man ever to care if I enjoyed his touch. Whatever he wanted, I’d give it to him.
“Was the open door an invitation?” he asked, cupping my cheek as he stepped into the shower. It was the first time I’d seen him naked. At Gary’s, he’d only unfastened his pants.
I ran my fingers over his chest and down his abs. They weren’t as chiseled as some men I’d seen, but I liked that bit of softness. Then again, so far I liked everything about Feliks. He’d been honest with me about where I stood. And he’d promised I wouldn’t be a whore again.
“You’ve given me more than anyone else ever has,” I said. “I would give you anything you asked.”
He lowered his head to mine and kissed me. His lips brushed mine softly at first, then more demanding. I melted against him, opening and letting him in. Clinging to his shoulders, I worried my knees would buckle. I’d never felt this way before. Of course, the only kisses I’d received had been painful. They hadn’t been passionate or sweet.
“I only want you, kroshka.” Feliks picked me up and urged my legs around his waist. He pinned me to the shower wall and reached between us, rubbing my clit. I whimpered as his mouth devoured mine and pleasure shot through me. Soon, I found myself moving my hips, wanting more. I needed him inside me. It was a foreign feeling, actually wanting a man.
“Please, Feliks. I need you.”
“Soon.” His lips brushed mine twice more. “Come for me, Raina.”
He slipped a finger inside me, then another. I worked my hips as he teased me, and soon I was screaming out his name. My nipples tightened, and I panted for breath as aftershocks rocked me.
“Beautiful, lastachka. Now you may have what you want.”
He eased his fingers from me and pressed the head of his cock into me. Using short thrusts, he went a little deeper each time, until I’d taken all of him. The gentle way he touched me, the way he seemed to care… It was almost too much. I felt tears prick my eyes, but I refused to cry. Not right now. I’d cherish this moment. Always.
Feliks gripped my hip and thrust into me. Every stroke put just the right amount of friction on my clit. I knew I wouldn’t last long. His powerful body surrounded me as he took what he wanted. But he also gave me what I needed.
“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” I begged.
“Never.”
He kissed me once more as he fucked me against the shower wall. He took me harder. Deeper. And soon I was coming again. The moment my pussy squeezed his cock, he grunted, and I felt the heat of his release. It felt magical, sharing something like that with him.
“Are you sore?” he asked, pressing a kiss to my jaw, then my shoulder.
“No.” I didn’t want to tell him he’d been the gentlest of anyone. The other men had thrived on causing me pain. They liked it when I had to lie helplessly beneath them while they violated me. Not once had I ever wanted to give myself to someone until Feliks.
I wondered if he knew the power he had over me. I’d already said I’d give him anything. Not only had I meant it, but I wanted to give him everything. I’d have given him my soul if it were possible. This beautiful man had done the impossible. He’d freed me and given me a new life. I’d thought I would die in the hell I’d been living in since Gary bought me. Had prayed for death.
And now I had a reason to live.
“Let’s clean you up again, then we’ll eat. The food should be here by now.”
“You said it was being delivered. Didn’t you need to answer the door to get it?” I asked.
He smiled. “You didn’t see the building since you were passed out.”
Right. Because he’d choked me until I’d blacked out. I might have been angry over it, or at least scared, if it had been anyone other than Feliks. He spared my life when I begged him to kill me. I didn’t understand why. I was nothing to him. He’d been so angry to learn I could be pregnant. Wouldn’t letting me die have solved the problem? Even now, his touch was soft and his kiss tender. Everything I’d learned so far made me trust him. Stupid? Probably. But living life the way I had made me see the world differently, and the people in it.
“The elevator requires a code to enter this floor. Our food will be waiting outside the door,” Feliks said. “I’ll work on buying some clothing for you tomorrow. For now, you’ll have to wear the nightgown.”
I was more than all right with that. It might not seem like much to some. For me, it gave me a little of my dignity back. Something I hadn’t experienced, even though I’d seen it in others.
“Thank you, Feliks. For saving me.”
He kissed my forehead and ran his nose down mine. “I couldn’t have left you there, Raina. I think I would have had a hard time walking away whether or not Leeds said you might be pregnant. Even if I’d left the room, I’d have returned for you.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” He frowned, and I could tell he told the truth. He might have wanted to rescue me, but he didn’t understand why any more than I did. It honestly didn’t matter. I was safe. And for the first time in my life, I felt happy.
I reached for the soap and quickly washed, then helped Feliks clean up as well. My cheeks flamed as I cupped his cock. The heat flaring in his eyes told me he already wanted me again. My stomach growled, and he pulled back.
“Later, lastachka. Food first.”
He shut off the water and helped me out. Picking up a fluffy towel, he dried me off and dropped the nightgown over my head, tugging the material down my body. It only fell to the tops of my thighs, but it was the best gift anyone had given me. Well, other than my freedom.
Feliks pulled on his boxers and his pants but left the rest of his clothes on the bathroom counter. I couldn’t wait to see what he’d ordered. Anything was better than oatmeal and buttered bread.
The scent from the sacks he brought into the apartment made my mouth water. He unloaded everything onto the kitchen counter and motioned for me to sit at the small table nearby. I pulled out a chair and waited eagerly.
My lips parted, and my eyes widened at the large bowl of pasta. It looked like bits of shrimp and something else were in the creamy white sauce, and I couldn’t wait to take a bite! He added a piece of garlic bread on the side and brought me a glass of ice water.
“I’m sorry, but water is all we have tonight.”
“This is amazing, Feliks. It looks incredible.” I took a small bite and gasped at the flavor. “Oh, my gosh! It’s… indescribable. I love it!”
He smiled as I ate more, and I noticed he had something different to eat. He noticed my stare and lifted the fork to my lips. I accepted the bite and moaned at how wonderful it tasted. He offered me more and I shook my head. As little as I’d eaten over the years, I didn’t think I’d be able to finish my meal, especially if he kept offering me his.
“Eat as much as you want, lastachka. I will have breakfast delivered in the morning. Whatever we don’t finish can go in the fridge in case you want to snack on it later,” Feliks said.
“I keep waiting for something bad to happen,” I admitted. “All this seems too good to be true. A man like you wanting me? Being nice to me?”
He reached across the table and caressed my hand. “I only wish someone had saved you sooner. A child should never endure what you did. That’s a line I won’t cross. I’m not a good man, Raina. Not even a little. But I can promise I’ve never knowingly harmed a child.”
He might consider himself evil, but to me, he was my knight in shining armor. He’d stormed the tower, fought the dragon, and carried me off to safety. I’d once dreamed of such a thing happening. Eventually, those dreams died as my reality weighed me down. I’d realized no one was coming, and I would likely die lying under some disgusting man who liked causing pain.
“I say knowingly, partly because of you. Raina, I don’t know how old you are.”
“I’m not entirely sure. Time passed differently while I was with Gary. There wasn’t much point in counting the days, and I never celebrated my birthday. Not after my family had sold me to him. The last time I had a birthday cake was when I turned five.”
“Do you think you’re at least eighteen? That’s the legal age for consent in most states. Some states are a little lower, but usually when the two people are close in age.” He seemed worried about it.
“I think so. I know the men who preferred younger girls stopped coming around about two years ago. Something about it not being fun anymore.”
He growled softly and ate another bite of food, chewing so forcefully I worried he’d crack his teeth. We finished our food and Feliks cleared the table. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I tried to help, but he shooed me away.
“When did you last watch TV?” he asked.
“Gary allowed me to watch something once a day, but I could pick either one movie or two episodes of a show. The rest of the time I either slept, or…” I pressed my lips together, not wanting to admit what I’d been doing. I knew Feliks was already aware, especially since Gary offered me as payment. It didn’t mean I wanted to remind him about it.
“Pick anything you want, lastachka. We can watch in the living room, or there’s another TV in the bedroom. As badly as I want you again, I think it’s best you sleep tonight. It’s been a long day.”
If he kept being this sweet, I’d be in love with him in no time. I didn’t know if he’d planned it that way, or if he was just being himself. For someone who seemed to think he was a monster, he’d treated me with kindness. Choking aside. And I blamed Gary for that one. He’d pushed Feliks. I hoped it wasn’t something he would do again. I didn’t plan to give him a reason to hurt me. He didn’t seem to be like the others. I didn’t think he’d cause me pain intentionally unless I angered him.
I went over to the living room and sank onto the soft couch. Curling my legs beneath me, I picked up the remote and found a movie I hadn’t seen before. Feliks joined me, tugging me against his side. I rested my head on his shoulder and did my best to enjoy the moment. I didn’t know how many of these I’d have, and I wanted to remember them forever. A day might come when he no longer wanted me. Something told me Feliks would end up breaking my heart.
Men like him didn’t keep women like me -- not long term.