I lay in bed watching Raina sleep. She’d curled on her side, her hand protectively resting over her still-flat belly. Her vision hadn’t returned fully. The doctor said it was possible she could gain more back in the upcoming weeks or months, but I could tell it distressed her. Faint scars marred her lips where Paulo had stitched them shut. The marks on her body were pink and raised. In time, the doctor said they would fade with the thinner ones becoming fine white lines. I’d offered to pay for plastic surgery, but she’d refused.
Running my fingers over her cheek, I smiled. I’d have never guessed I’d feel happy having a woman sleep in my bed. Then again, until Raina, I’d seldom stayed the night with a woman. I used them, got what I wanted, and left. Even my mistresses hadn’t kept my attention all night and into the next day. Since her abduction, I hadn’t touched Raina intimately. I wanted to. Burned for it.
But she wasn’t ready.
While she hadn’t shied away from sharing a bed with me, and I doubted she’d turn me away if I tried anything, I could tell she still hurt. My brave Raina tried to hide her pain, but I saw the winces here and there. If I could bring Paulo back from the dead and kill him again, I would.
“I didn’t think I had a heart, Raina, but I was wrong. Because you have it,” I murmured. Loving her didn’t make me weaker. If anything, I felt whole for once in my life. Although I knew my enemies could use her against me. It only meant I had to keep her safe.
I’d hired protection for her. Two men I trusted a great deal would shadow her at all times. Even now, one remained in the house, ready and waiting for any trouble that might come knocking. If only I’d done things differently. Turning back the clock wasn’t possible, but if it were, I never would have given her up. How could I have thought spending the rest of my life with Natalia had even been an option? Sending Raina away had been like cutting off my hand.
My phone rang, and I reached for it, hoping to answer before the sound woke Raina. I spoke softly. “Hello.”
“I need you to come to my home. We need to discuss your broken engagement,” Viktor said. “Fedor isn’t pleased by the turn of events. I have a feeling his spoiled daughter is pitching a fit.”
“I need to shower and dress. I’ll be there shortly.” I reached to touch Raina’s cheek. My beautiful, Raina. Every time I had to leave the house without her, I worried I’d come home and find her gone. After the cruel way I’d treated her, it wouldn’t surprise me if she left.
I disconnected the call and went to get ready. By the time I’d showered and put on a suit, I walked into the bedroom to find Raina awake and sitting up in bed. She looked adorably disheveled, and I smiled, just admiring the view.
“I need to meet with Viktor. You’ll be all right on your own for a while?” I asked.
She nodded. “Other than getting something to eat, I’ll probably spend the day in bed. I’m feeling more tired than usual.”
I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Rest, liubimaja. I’ll return as soon as I can. There’s one stop I need to make after I leave Viktor’s, but I’ll try to be quick.”
“Stay safe,” she said.
“Always.”
Before I got the urge to blow off Viktor, I left the room and didn’t look back. If I had, I may have never left. On my way out the door, I stopped to get coffee from the kitchen and spoke briefly with Ivan, the current guard on duty.
“Raina said she’s going to rest,” I said. “Please check on her in an hour. If anything goes wrong, or she needs me, call immediately. I may not be able to get out of this meeting with Viktor, but it doesn’t mean I won’t leave if Raina needs me.”
“I’ll take care of her,” Ivan said.
I took my coffee and went out to my car. The drive to Viktor’s gave me time to think. I didn’t know how to handle the situation with Fedor. I’d thought he understood, and agreed, breaking the engagement with his daughter was for the best. Not only for me, but for Natalia as well. Now it seemed he’d changed his mind. So what did he want?
He had far more money than I did. It couldn’t be something that simple. So what?
I pulled up to the gate at Viktor’s home and waited to be let in. The cars in the drive told me more than Fedor had arrived at the house. For the same meeting? Or were the others here for something else? I recognized one of the vehicles. Vadim Ivanov. Why had the Vor come to Viktor’s house? A chill skated down my spine, I hoped I hadn’t lied to Raina when I said I’d return. If Fedor petitioned the Vor, I could easily be locked up, beaten, or even killed for breaking a contract.
I entered the house, coffee in hand, and went straight to Viktor’s office. I saw the Vor’s personal byki standing outside the door and my feeling of unease grew.
“Viktor asked to see me,” I said, and the man knocked on the office door.
“Enter,” Viktor called out.
I stepped inside and scanned the room quickly. Viktor, Fedor, Maksim, and Vadim. I felt like asking if I needed to make arrangements for my family but didn’t dare. It would be seen as a sign of weakness.
“I apologize I couldn’t get here sooner,” I said.
“Have a seat, Feliks,” Vadim said. “We have a few things to discuss.”
I sat and wished I could turn the chair to put my back to the wall and my eyes on all the men in the room. For the first time since working for Viktor, I didn’t feel safe in this room. What would happen to Raina if I didn’t return? Even worse… if they wanted to truly punish me, they’d use Raina to do it. I hoped they didn’t realize exactly what she meant to me.
“You agreed to marry Natalia Gorev, correct?” Vadim asked.
“Yes. I did.”
“And you signed a contract?” Vadim asked, pulling a set of papers off Viktor’s desk. A quick glance told me it was the marriage contract.
“Yes, I signed those papers. I did so before finding out my mistress became pregnant.”
Vadim held up his hand. “I didn’t ask for an explanation. Not yet. You admit that you broke your contract with Fedor Gorev?”
“I admit it,” I said.
“Did you read the fine print?” Viktor asked.
I opened my mouth then shut it. Had I? I tried to recall, but I’d been in a hurry at the time. “Nyet.”
“In the event you broke the contract to marry Natalia, you agreed to give the Gorevs anything they asked. An open-ended favor so to speak,” Vadim said.
I felt sweat start to gather under my suit and hoped no one could see how nervous those words made me. What the hell did the man want?
“I see. And the price he’s asking?” I kept my gaze on Vadim and refused to look at Fedor. If the bastard looked smug, I might very well hit him.
“Natalia has made a request, and I’ve decided to honor her wishes,” Fedor said. “She wants to carry your child.”
My mind blanked for a moment. My child? But Raina already carried my baby. What the hell did he…” Are you asking me to impregnate your daughter?”
“It’s what she wants.” Fedor shifted in his seat. “To ensure it happens, she’s asked to spend thirty days in your bed. I hear you’ve moved your whore into your home. You’ll have to make her leave during that time.”
I was shaking my head before he’d even finished his statement. “Nyet. I will not remove Raina. She carries my child, and I have every intention of marrying her. It’s not my house any longer, but ours.”
“If you refuse, Fedor has agreed to an alternate solution.” Vadim stared at me. “But you’ll like it even less.”
“What does he want?” I asked.
“To fuck your whore while you watch.” Fedor gave me a chilling smile. “I’m hoping she’s a fighter. I like it when they struggle.”
I fisted my hands, my rage rising by the minute. I no longer saw the men in the room. A red haze settled over my vision. He planned to hurt my Raina. To brutalize her the way others had before. It was no longer Leeds’ blood I wanted. I’d kill everyone in this room if it was the only way to keep my Raina safe. I’d make Cerys a widow without a moment’s hesitation.
The door opened, and I heard soft footsteps. The moment Natalia spoke, something inside me snapped.
“Did he agree?” she asked, sounding too cheerful considering what she’d asked of me.
Shaking, I rose to my feet. Before anyone could stop me, I yanked the knife from under my jacket and threw it at Natalia, watching as the blade sank into her chest. Her eyes went wide, and she staggered back, blood trickling from the corner of her mouth. My gun was in my hand almost instantly, and I shot Fedor between the eyes. It was a better death than either had deserved.
Pointing my weapon at Vadim, I kept my finger on the trigger and stared him down. “Will you be next?”
He only smiled and remained seated. It was almost as if he hadn’t noticed I’d killed Fedor and Natalia in front of him. Neither Viktor nor Maksim had made a move either. I scanned the three of them, waiting for them to move. One inch, and I’d put a bullet in them.
“I’m not permitted to marry Natalia and keep Raina as my mistress, but you’d allow them to ask such a thing of me?” I demanded. “And Fedor… He got off far too easy.”
“I told you,” Viktor said, turning to Vadim. “Satisfied?”
“Yes.” Vadim stood slowly, buttoning his suit jacket. “Feliks, you may ask one favor of me. Only one. Today, you did me a great service.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, lowering my weapon. “You’re not going to kill me for what I’ve done? Punish Raina?”
Vadim shook his head. “Nyet. Fedor crossed a line and never even realized it. Your Raina isn’t the only woman he’s done that to. The last one happened to be related to me. I’ll let her parents know she’s been avenged.”
“Is that why you called me here? You knew what he’d ask of me?”
Vadim nodded. “I did. He made his wishes known before we came here. I asked Viktor to arrange this meeting and bring in Maksim. We needed as many witnesses as possible to tell the story. Natalia made a scene. Her father killed her in a fit of rage, and we were given no choice but to put him down when he lost all reason.”
“You used me,” I muttered. “I sat here, fearing for Raina’s life, and it was all for nothing? So you could be the puppet master and yank my strings?”
Vadim shrugged. “It all worked out.”
Viktor stood and pulled a briefcase from under his desk. He handed it to me. The weight told me it contained more than a few papers. Opening it, my brows lifted at the amount of money inside.
“Consider it a bonus, in addition to the favor,” Vadim said. “I hope you’ll invite me to the wedding, Feliks. I look forward to meeting your bride.”
The Vor left and I stared at Viktor. “It’s over? No one will be coming for us?”
“Not within the Bratva,” Viktor said.
“I’m about to tie up a loose end.” I shifted the case to my other hand and put my gun away. “Gary Leeds has lived far too long, don’t you think?”
“Let me handle him,” Maksim said. “I would consider it an honor. Go home to Raina. You’ve done enough for today, Feliks.”
I thanked him and took my leave. He was right. Being with Raina was more important. And the money in the case would be put to good use. I’d put some aside for our child, and the rest would help pay for the wedding. I hadn’t asked her to marry me yet, and knew I needed to make one last stop before I went home. I needed to retrieve something from the safe at my bank.
Raina
I didn’t know why I felt so tired. I’d spent most of the day in bed, and still couldn’t seem to find the energy to do much of anything. It felt like Feliks had been gone forever. According to Ivan, it had only been a few hours. My bodyguard had brought me a bowl of soup with some crackers. I’d eaten them, then slept for an hour. When I’d woken, I’d stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling.
My vision wasn’t one hundred percent yet, but it returned a little more each day, or so it seemed. The doctors wanted to give it more time before deciding if I should check into getting glasses or contacts, or possibly have corrective surgery. I’d spent enough time at the hospital, I wasn’t sure I would want to have another procedure done anytime soon. I’d be glad when the need for doctors would be over.
Something felt off, and I couldn’t figure out what it was. Feliks had assured me no one would take me from him again. He’d been sweet and doted on me. And yet, I wasn’t certain I felt as if I belonged here. He’d moved me into his home. Bought a massive wardrobe for me and had already started setting up a nursery. So why did I feel as if I were a visitor?
Because he walked away once before. What if he does it again?
I knew Viktor had given him an ultimatum before. Me or Natalia. He’d chosen to marry for power. What if the same thing happened again? How long could he possibly be happy with someone like me? I was nothing. Less than. Just some unwanted child who’d been sold and turned into a whore. I knew Feliks could do so much better. I’d seen Natalia. She’d been stunning and had clearly wanted him.
What if she didn’t give up? What if she demanded he keep their engagement?
My heart would break. In fact, it already felt battered and bruised. It wouldn’t take much to crumble it entirely. Only Feliks had that sort of power over me. I didn’t care what anyone else said or did. They meant nothing to me, but Feliks… I loved him.
The side of the bed dipped, and I looked over. Feliks had removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He leaned onto the bed, bracing his weight on his elbow. “Did you sleep well?”
I shrugged a shoulder. What could I say? No matter how much I napped, it was never enough. I’d thought it was the pregnancy. Now I wondered if it was something else. Could I be depressed? Or was I merely resigned to my lot in life?
“I have a gift for you.” He reached out to run his finger down the bridge of my nose. “Gary Leeds will no longer be breathing by the end of the day. Maksim is going to take him out, and he’ll likely suffer before he dies. You’ll never have to worry about seeing him again.”
He’d done that for me? Arranged for my biggest abuser to die? It had to mean something, didn’t it? He wouldn’t have done such a thing if he didn’t care. It gave me hope my fears had been for nothing.
I reached and laced our fingers together. “Thank you, Feliks.”
He pulled something out of his pocket, holding it in his closed hand. “Raina, I screwed up when we first met. I let you go when I should have held on tight. Made you feel as if you weren’t important. Lastachka, you’re the other half of my soul. Without you, I’m incomplete.”
Tears burned my eyes at his words. It was everything I’d wanted to hear from him, but was it true? Did he really mean it? I’d give anything to be someone important to him, to possibly have his love. He’d said the words before, but I hadn’t believed him. I’d been mostly asleep and convinced myself I’d dreamed it all. What if I hadn’t?
He opened his hand and I gasped at the beautiful ring he held in his palm. I reached out and lightly touched it, wondering about the significance. I didn’t need jewelry. If he thought I needed him to buy me expensive things, he was wrong. I only needed to know he wanted me. Needed me. Nothing else mattered.
“It belonged to my grandmother,” he said. “I’d be honored if you’d wear it and promise to marry me as soon as it can be arranged.”
“Wh-what?” I lifted my gaze to his. He couldn’t be serious. Could he? “Feliks, are you… you’re asking me to marry you?”
He nodded. “Not the most romantic proposal, and for that I’m sorry, but it’s heartfelt. I don’t want to spend another day apart from you. Please, Raina. Marry me. Be my wife. The mother of my children.”
“Feliks, I…”
He pressed his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. “I love you, Raina. You’re my heart. My very reason for living. Please.”
“Yes, Feliks. I’ll marry you.”
He slipped the ring onto my finger, and it suddenly felt like everything was right in my world. Had this been what was missing? Had I felt off-kilter because I’d worried he’d never marry me?
“There are things you need to know, lastachka. But not right now. You have shadows under your eyes and are still healing. I’ll run a bath. Maybe after soaking, you’ll feel better.”
I bit my lip. “Feliks, would you get in with me? The tub is big enough.”
He cupped my cheek and pressed his forehead to mine. “I’d be honored, Raina. Wait here.”
He stood and went into the bathroom. I heard the water running a minute later and lounged on the bed while he filled the tub. I knew it would take a while. The first time I’d seen the bathtub, I’d joked he had a mini pool in his home. Not only could Feliks and I fit in there, but there was enough space for far more people in the tub.
I admired the ring on my finger, feeling warm inside. He’d actually asked me to marry him! I smiled and snuggled into the bed a little deeper. Until I’d met Feliks, I’d thought I’d die in pain. Unwanted. Unloved. And now I’d met the most incredible man. He had his faults, and he’d broke my heart. But he’d also saved me more than once. How could I not love him?
“Come, Raina. It’s ready,” he called out.
I stood and went into the bathroom. Quickly stripping off my clothes, I climbed into the tub in front of him. He’d already sunk into the water and leaned back against the side of the round tub. As I stepped in, he reached for me, tugging me down and pulling me back against him. He trailed his fingers along my thigh, up my arm, and over my shoulders before repeating the pattern. Slowly, I began to relax. My eyes shut, and I drifted on a haze of bliss.
“That feels good,” I murmured.
“I want to spoil you, Raina. You and our child. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and make you happy. Just please don’t ever leave me. I’m not sure I’d survive it.”
I tipped my head up and kissed his jaw. “Promise.”
I wanted to demand the same of him, to ask he be faithful to me. If he’d been willing to marry Natalia and keep me as his mistress… My stomach knotted. Could I share him now that I’d fallen in love with him? Before, he’d been my savior, and had promised a better life. This was different. Being his wife meant something to me.
“Feliks…” I nibbled my lower lip. Did I dare make such a demand? Or perhaps I could just ask his intentions.
“What it is, lastachka?”
“Before, when you were going to keep me as your mistress, you still intended to marry Natalia.”
His hand stilled where he’d been lightly stroking my skin. “And you wonder if I’ll keep a mistress now that you’re to be my wife?”
I nodded. “I know I don’t have a say in the matter. You made that clear before. I just… I’d rather be prepared than surprised later.”
He kissed the side of my neck and rubbed his whiskered jaw along my shoulder. “The only woman I want is you, Raina. You’re my sun, my moon… you’re more beautiful than all the stars in the sky, and every bit as captivating.”
I reached up and wrapped my fingers around the back of his neck. “I love you, Feliks. You have no idea how easy it would be for you to hurt me. I’ve tried to be tough, to be strong… but you’re my weakness.”
“Nyet. Not a weakness. Together, we’re stronger than we are apart. There’s something I should tell you.”
“What?” I turned slightly to see him. “Did something happen while you were gone?”
He nodded. “Viktor called a meeting. Fedor, Natalia’s father, wished to make some demands. In response, I killed both him and his daughter. Not only in front of Viktor, but also Maksim and the Vor. I’d thought they would kill me, or worse, hurt you in retaliation. Instead, the Vor thanked me for solving a problem for him and offered me a large amount of cash. We’ll put half into a trust for our child. Something they can have when they turn eighteen.”
“Killed them?” I asked, not certain I’d heard him correctly. “You murdered a woman?”
He stared at me, his gaze chilling more by the minute. “Do you want to know why? Ask me, lastachka. Ask why I didn’t hesitate to end both their lives. What could they have possibly wanted that would pull such a response from me?”
“I…” I didn’t know. Did I want to find out? I stared at him and realized I needed to hear his reasoning. “Yes. Tell me.”
“Natalia demanded I toss you from our home and take her to my bed for thirty days, to ensure I impregnated her.” He cupped my cheek. “I could never do that to you, nor did I want anything to do with her.”
“So you killed her?”
“Only after I heard her father’s demands when I refused to touch her. He planned to violate you, in front of me. I had to choose. Fuck his daughter or watch him rape you. I decided they both needed to die and handled the matter.”
I pressed my finger to my mouth, holding back my cry. The world he lived in was brutal, and savage when it came to women. We were merely possessions. Toys for big powerful men to use as they saw fit.
“And now you know,” he said. “I will never let another man touch you, Raina. And I don’t want anyone but you. Touching her would have been abhorrent, and I’m not sure I could have gotten hard. But the thought of him hurting you that way? Nyet. I couldn’t stand for it.”
I turned and straddled him, cupping his cheeks in my hands. “Thank you, Feliks. For protecting me. As horrible as it was to hear what they intended, I’d rather know than live in the dark. Don’t hide enemies from me. Isn’t it better for me to be prepared?”
He nodded. “You’re right. Beautiful and smart. I’m the luckiest of men.”
“Make love to me? Please?”
“Right here? Or do you prefer the bed?” he asked.
“Here. Now.”
He ran his hands up my sides to cup my breasts, his thumbs stroking over my nipples. He released me, placing his hands on the sides of the tub. “Would you like to be in charge this time, Raina? You’ve always had men take from you. Ride me. Take your pleasure.”
My body heated at his words and my cheeks flushed. I reached between us, wrapping my fingers around his cock. The man seemed always to be hard. Even now, after speaking of murdering two people, he felt like steel in my grasp.
I sank onto him, moaning as he filled me. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I used him as leverage to lift and lower myself. My breasts bounced with each stroke, and I liked the way he stared at them. The hunger in his gaze made me burn hotter, ache for him even more.
“Feliks… touch me.”
“Here?” he asked, leaning forward and capturing my nipple in his mouth. He lightly scraped his teeth across it before sucking hard. He released it with a pop. “Or here.”
He rubbed his fingers over my clit. I cried out, my hips jerking. “Both! Please. I need you. Make me come.”
He toyed with my body, lavishing attention on my breasts while his fingers strummed my clit. My orgasm was so strong I saw stars, the water around us sloshing as I rode him hard. My pussy clenched down on him, and he groaned. I knew he was close too. I shuddered and sucked in a breath.
Feliks lifted me off him, spun me to face the side of the tub, then thrust into me from behind. I clung to the porcelain as he pounded my pussy, taking what he wanted. What we both needed…
“Yes! Don’t stop. Feliks, I… I’m going to…” A long keening sound escaped me as I came again. This time, I felt the heat of his release as he pumped his cum into me.
He panted for breath and pressed his forehead to my shoulder. “You’ll be the death of me, Raina. I can see my headstone now. Here lies Feliks. His wife fucked him so well, she drew his soul from his body.”
I couldn’t stop the snort that escaped me, or the giggle that followed. “Did you just infer I’m a succubus? I didn’t suck out your soul!”
“You’re right.” He sighed. “Besides, I’m not entirely certain I have one anymore. But if I did, you’d be welcome to it. Everything I have is yours.”
“All I want is you,” I whispered.
He kissed my shoulder, then my neck and my cheek. “And you have me.”
He helped me clean up before we got out of the tub. As we lounged in bed, both sated and content, he started talking about wedding arrangements. The thought of testing wedding cakes, picking out flowers, and going dress shopping might have excited some women. For me, I felt panic welling inside me. I didn’t know how to do any of that!
“Feliks, could we hire someone to do those things?” I asked, giving him a tentative look. “I wouldn’t know where to start, and it sounds overwhelming. I’d be happy with a quiet ceremony.”
He shook his head. “The Vor asked to receive an invitation. We must have a proper wedding, lastachka. But if you don’t want to handle the details, I’ll ask a wedding planner to come to the house. You can discuss some options and I’ll give them a budget. Will that work?”
“Yes. Thank you, Feliks.”
“Anything for you.” He kissed me softly. “My beautiful soon-to-be wife.”
“Don’t forget the appointment with the doctor tomorrow. I’ve never been to one before and you promised you’d go with me.”
He nodded. “And I will. I’ll make sure Viktor knows I won’t be available during your visit. I’m just as eager to find out more about the baby as you are.”
I wasn’t certain eager was the right word. More like terrified. But now that I knew Feliks loved me, that he wanted a future with me and our child, my anxiety had lessened a great deal. As long as he stood beside me, I knew I could face anything.
Even motherhood.