I want you to know the story of how you came to be and to understand why I had to do what I did. I know that some of the things I did were crazy. Some people thought I went too far, that I became unhinged. At times, I did, too. But no matter how strange or surreal it seemed, there was, for me, a perverse logic to it.
I’m here to tell you it was worth it. You were worth it. And I would do it all over again if faced with the same choice. I challenge any woman in my shoes to walk away from the fortuitous opportunity that was presented to me, or to opt for defeat when a solution so miraculously landed in my lap.
I never saw myself as the kind of person who would stop at nothing to get what I wanted, but this last year has proved that’s exactly who I am. I found within myself a selfishness and a relentlessness I did not know I had. Those traits are not always a bad thing, especially for someone like me. Someone who rarely staked a claim.
You brought that out in me; my desire for you prevailed over all else, including that need to please everyone and be approved of and always do the reasonable thing. Nothing about how I wound up here was reasonable. Nothing about your story to this point aligns with the woman I thought I was. You summoned me to fight, to do the inconceivable and be utterly dauntless about my ambition. Funny, the harder I fought—not just for you, but also for the truth—the more I began to like myself.
Turns out I’m not so different from Cressida after all. You have your life because of it.