FIVE

Elizabeth came out of the post office in time to see Kane stow a box of what looked like groceries in the back of the pickup. There was another one the same size already there, along with two bales of hay and a bag of feed up by the cab. She hurried across the gravel road.

“I’m sorry. I guess I got carried away talking to Letty. You didn’t have to do that.”

“She’s the postmistress, right?” Kane shut the tailgate with a loud clang.

“Postmistress, phone operator, and local busybody.” She smiled dryly. “I made the mistake of asking about her grandson, who she’d told me on my last visit had gotten the measles, and that was all it took.”

“Guess she doesn’t have many people to talk to.”

Elizabeth’s smile turned a bit wicked, and she leaned a little closer to Kane. “I think she’s got something going with Dobs,” she whispered.

She was rewarded with one of Kane’s half-smiles. It did such stunning things to his smooth, strong features that it took her a moment to recover. Only when Kane moved toward the driver’s side of the truck did she snap out of it and hurry after him.

“I’ll drive,” he announced as he opened the door and swept a hand in front of him. When she started to protest, he said, “Hop in or I put you in.”

Her eyes widened a bit at the command, but she quickly followed his orders. Considering the way his smile had affected her, the thought of him putting those large hands anywhere on her body … Not a good idea.

They’d been bouncing over the rutted mountain road for a few minutes when the silence finally got to her. “I made a few calls from the post office.” He didn’t so much as blink, but she sensed he knew who she’d been calling. “I only got through to two names. Mr. Williams and Mr. Donegan.” She’d also tried her brother’s apartment. No answer. Again.

“And?”

She knew from the way he sat there that he wasn’t concerned with what she might have found out. She was almost tempted to lie, just to see if it would get a reaction out of him, but she couldn’t. Both men had praised Kane as if he were their personal patron saint. And to her eternal frustration, they’d both also managed to effectively endorse the man while not revealing one additional whit of personal information.

“And you’re still hired,” she grumbled, ignoring the slight twitch of his lips, knowing he’d read her hesitation correctly.

She shifted to glance out the rear window and remembered the groceries. She reached for her canvas tote that sat on the bench seat between them. “I completely forgot about the food. Here, let me pay—”

“No need.”

“But I didn’t mean for you to—”

“I know. Like I said, don’t worry about it.”

She knew there was more in those boxes than she’d had on the list. “At least let me pay for—”

“I said let it go.”

“My half,” she finished stubbornly. “I was only trying to help. I didn’t think you had …” This time she let her words trail off as it occurred to her that what she’d been about to say probably would have offended him.

“Money?” he finished.

She winced. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. After all, it isn’t as if I don’t understand.” She tried for a tone of self-deprecating humor to take the sting out of the conversation, but his jawline remained rock-hard.

“What made you think I didn’t have any money?” he said.

She turned to look at him. “I don’t know, I guess I assumed that finances were tight, since you were looking to trade labor for board.”

“If you recall, I made the offer because of your situation, not mine.”

“But you said yourself you’re a wanderer, that you move from place to place. So it wasn’t exactly unreasonable of me to think you weren’t rolling in it.”

“Apology accepted.”

She sputtered and turned to tell him she hadn’t said anything to apologize for, only to see the corner of his mouth curving slightly. She chuckled softly at having been played so smoothly.

The soft sound brought his head around. The moment their eyes met, her smile faded. After another second, so did his. Tension filled the small cab until a jolt of the truck as it hit a rut brought Kane’s attention back to the road. Elizabeth turned to gaze out of her window, half expecting to find it steamed over.

They rode in silence for several minutes before she gave in to her curiosity. “Are you really happy moving around the way you do? Do you ever dream of doing something else?”

He was silent for so long, it surprised her when he answered. “I’ve never thought of it in terms of happiness or sadness. It’s simply the way I live.”

She shifted sideways so she could look at him while they talked. “Yeah, but don’t you ever see yourself doing something else? I mean, what about when you get old? Don’t you want a family?”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his fingers tighten on the wheel.

“I’m not exactly family-man material.”

The pain that knifed through Elizabeth at his solemn statement was surprisingly sharp. She didn’t want to hurt him, but maybe the fact that he’d answered at all meant he wanted to talk about it but didn’t know how.

“That’s not what I asked,” she said gently. When he didn’t respond, she switched tactics, not analyzing why it was suddenly so important to her to draw him out. “You named your horse Sky Dancer. I remember you saying your grandmother’s name was Cloud Dancer. Any connection?”

“Yes, there’s a connection.”

“She’s beautiful. I watched you work her yesterday.” She realized what she’d admitted to, but brazened it out when he didn’t comment. “Do you ride everywhere you go?”

“No. I drive a truck most of the time. I have a few friends who take care of my horses.”

“You have more than one?”

He shot her a wry grin. “Yes, I have more than one.”

She opened her mouth to ask another question, but he cut her off.

“Did anyone ever tell you that there’s such a thing as being too curious?”

She wanted to smile at his gentle sarcasm, but memories of Sam and the volatile accusations he’d flung at her that night in his car outside of Joe Twyler’s house flashed through her brain, stealing away any chance she had of taking Kane’s words lightly. “Once or twice.” She’d been aiming for the same dry sarcasm, but it didn’t quite come out that way.

Kane slowed the truck after the next curve and used the upcoming flat stretch as an excuse to look at her. She’d turned her attention out her side window. He couldn’t see her face, but her shoulders had slumped slightly. And even more telling, the vitality and energy that typically emanated from her had vanished.

He looked back to the road, reining in the urge to swear. Why had he let her probe him so deeply? Worse yet, why had he answered her? He’d ruthlessly interrogated dozens of people without feeling a twinge of conscience as long as it got the job done. And he’d never once had the slightest urge to divulge personal information.

But the fact remained that he had told her things he didn’t discuss with anyone. And the part of him that had spent over a decade dissecting every nuance of a person’s reaction, looking for the fastest way to extract information, knew that giving her a piece of himself practically ensured that she’d answer anything he asked. But if he wanted to take advantage, he had to do it now, while she was feeling vulnerable.

So do it. Go on. Ask her. What are you waiting for?

His stomach burned as he swallowed the bile that lurched upward. He was going to do it. Exploit her interest in him, abuse her trust. He really was a bastard. But then, he’d never kidded himself about that.

“Annie, are you up here because you discovered something about … someone?” He paused, grinding his teeth, but it was too late to stop now. “A lover or maybe a … a husband? Something this person wouldn’t want known?”

She’d given every indication of being a person who’d been dealt some harsh realities. He was positive it concerned Sam, and he’d begun to wonder if she’d discovered he was being unfaithful. It would certainly explain the cock-and-bull story Sam had handed him. Someone in his social position wouldn’t want news like that to get out.

He was so convinced he was right, he steeled himself for the inevitable flood of tears and choked recantation of every horrible detail.

Which was why he almost drove the truck off the side of the road when she gaped at him, then flung her head back and began laughing.

Completely thrown, he had no idea how to respond. Not that she would have heard anything. She was laughing so hard at this point, she’d wrapped her arms around her middle.

He hated feeling so helpless, but even more, he hated being made to feel like a fool. So he clamped his jaw shut and set about getting them both home in one piece. The sooner the better.

“I’m … I’m sorry,” she gasped. “It’s just …” She paused to stifle another chuckle with her hand. “Has anyone told you that you’re the master of understatement?”

After a few minutes, her laughter died down to an occasional giggle.

He forced himself to keep his attention on the road, afraid if he so much as glanced her way, he’d set her off again. And men thought women’s tears were tough to handle. He still didn’t know what to make of her outburst.

The rickety Lazy F sign appeared as he rounded the last curve. He’d just passed under it when another muffled sound penetrated his thoughts. Thinking she was holding in renewed laughter, he lost his patience and turned to face her.

Only to discover she hadn’t been smothering laughter at all. Her head was bent, and small shiny tracks glistened on her cheeks. In that second, a tremor rocked her slender frame as she held in a sob.

“Aw hell.” Kane let the truck drift to a stop, but suddenly didn’t know what his next move should be. He lifted his hand, intending to reach for her, to take her in his arms, offer her some comfort and an apology for setting off her crying jag in the first place. But he didn’t. He let his hand drop to the seat between them. Maybe he’d been wrong about tears being easier.

“Annie?” He tried to keep his voice gentle, but the word sounded almost hoarse to his ears.

She stilled for a second, as if she’d just realized that they’d stopped moving. Then she subtly shifted away, toward her side window.

“Annie, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said, her voice rough with the effort of holding in the tears. “You couldn’t have realized …” She didn’t finish. Another slight tremor shook her frame. “Could we go home, please?” she whispered.

Kane felt like something that lived under a rock. Had she really loved Perkins so much? The more time he spent with her, the harder he found it to picture Annie and Sam as a loving couple.

Or maybe it was because he wanted so badly for them not to be.

“Yeah, I’ll take you home,” he said softly. He checked the urge to slam his foot on the gas pedal. The sun was barely a laserlike ray over the horizon as he pulled in front of the small ranch house. He’d been a fool to let his emotions get involved. Sam wanted his wife back, and it was obvious she was dying inside over whatever had happened. So he’d reunite the lovesick lovebirds, take his money, and ride off into the sunset. Alone. Again.

And it was his own damn fault that he’d wasted even a second wondering if it could end any other way.

“You go on inside. I’ll take care of the stuff in the back,” he said after he shut the engine off.

She took a deep breath, wiped her face on the sleeve of her T-shirt, and slowly turned to face him. The waning light cast her tear-streaked face in soft shadows.

“I don’t know what came over me. Nerves, I guess. But you didn’t deserve such an hysterical response to your question. I’m sorry, it’s just that …” She ducked her head for a moment, then looked back up at him. “I really thought that I’d begun to come to terms with it. The stress and all.” She chuckled, but it was a harsh sound that made Kane wince. “Obviously I haven’t even scratched the surface.”

“The offer I made still stands.”

She lifted her eyebrows in question.

“To listen. I may not be much on conversation, but I make a great listener.”

She seemed to study him for a moment. “Oh, I don’t know, Eyes of the Hawk,” she said softly. “I imagine you’re pretty good at whatever you choose to do.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes the choices you make don’t count for a hill of beans. Sometimes they’re already made for you.” Feeling distinctly uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation and more than a little aroused by visions of one particular skill he’d like to prove to her he was pretty good at, he opted to bail out before he embarrassed either of them any further. “If you need me, you know where I am.” He opened the door and jumped down.

When the sun finally dropped over the horizon, it got dark very fast. So Elizabeth wasn’t certain if she’d seen correctly, but she could have sworn Kane’s complexion was a shade or two darker when he’d hopped down from the truck.

Funny. She’d come to think that he could be angered or insulted, even amused by her comments. But never embarrassed. It was an intriguing thought.

She’d been so caught up in her own maelstrom of emotions, she hadn’t paid much attention to how Kane had taken her unusual outburst. But speculating on his reaction was a welcome reprieve from analyzing her recent hysteria.

With a renewed sense of energy, she met him at the tail gate. “I’ll take the food in, if you want to take the truck around to the barn and unload the hay.”

The tail gate creaked as he lowered it. He didn’t say anything, just pulled the two boxes forward, pushing the lighter one toward her and grabbing the other.

She didn’t force the issue, but lugged her box toward the front door. She felt him moving behind her, the old wood boards on the porch groaning in protest under his booted heels. He propped the box on his hip and reached over her shoulder to grab the screen.

The sight of his strong, rough hand gripping the frame heightened her awareness of his nearness and she fumbled with the door handle. Once inside, she moved quickly through the small living room to the kitchen. Even in the dark, she knew the layout. She put the box down on the counter and went to turn on the propane lamp that sat on the table.

Kane came into the room as she turned to find the lamp. Her searching fingers hit denim. Warm, hard denim. She snatched her hand away. Jeez, what was with her tonight? First the sight of his long, strong fingers made her want to drop her box and fall into arms she knew would be just as powerful. Then the mere brush of her hand against his clothes made her wonder if he had similar thoughts.

“Um, here let me feel the table and make sure there’s enough room,” she said quickly. She could have sworn she heard him groan softly. She knew the box wasn’t that heavy. In the next second her hands brushed on the bottle of alcohol and cotton balls she’d brought down earlier to tend to his splinter.

She caught the bottle before it tilted over and quickly moved the stuff aside. She reached out carefully and grabbed the front two corners of the box, guiding it to the table.

Once it was down, she said, “Give me a second to find the lantern.” Where had she left it?

“Annie.”

She froze. His voice was deeper than normal. The way he’d said her name … as if … She stopped her thoughts right there.

“Annie,” he repeated, only this time with a sense of urgency that made her automatically turn toward the sound.

“What?” She stood very still, part of her wanting to squint and force her night vision to adjust more quickly, the rest of her wanting to stay secure in the anonymity the darkness provided.

Large hands suddenly gripped her shoulders. Startled, she reached out to steady herself, grasping his forearms. She looked up to where she knew his eyes would be and found them. She shivered. And she wasn’t the least bit cold.

“Do you love him?” His voice was dark and steamy, like the air surrounding them.

“Do I—What?” she said with a gasp, completely unprepared for the question.

She heard him heave a sigh of … disgust? Was it with her? Or himself? And why? She didn’t know which question to ask first, or whether to tell him it wasn’t any of his damn business. She also knew the scene in the truck deserved at least a little explanation. But what could she tell him without jeopardizing her safety—or his? His next question saved her from figuring it out.

“Do you want to go back to him?”

The very idea made her throat close convulsively over the sudden heave of her stomach muscles. She tried to answer him but couldn’t seem to get the words out.

“Never mind. It’s none of my business.”

She felt his hands shift on her shoulders and tightened her grip on his forearms, suddenly not wanting him to break the contact. She lifted a hand to his cheek, but her fingers barely brushed over the light stubble on his jaw before he pulled his head away. She quickly grabbed his forearm again. “Kane, don’t—”

“I need to tend to Sky Dancer. If you want to leave this, I’ll help you in the morning.”

She could feel the tension in the tightly coiled muscles clenched beneath her fingertips. She wanted to lift his hands from her shoulders and cradle them against her face. She wanted him to fold her against his chest, to lower his mouth to hers.

She slid her hands toward his wrists, but in the next instant he broke contact and stepped away.

“Kane, I can put away groceries later, just don’t—” She broke off as she heard the front screen slap shut. “Leave yet,” she finished softly.

The tears she’d shed in the truck had been her first in three months. She’d felt as if she’d shed at least enough for a year. The hot sting behind her closed eyelids proved otherwise. She groped for a chair and sank into it, feeling as if her last remaining energy had left with Kane.

She’d never felt so confused in all her life. Other than what had happened the night she’d followed Sam, the last few hours qualified as the most draining she’d experienced.

Kane had blown into her life like a lone hawk riding the summer wind. He’d appeared at a time when her confidence in her instincts was at an all-time low. Was she lonely and drawn to him because he happened to be the only one for miles around with a sympathetic ear?

There was Dobs, and Letty, of course, but she had to admit she’d certainly never felt like unloading on them. They didn’t look like Kane. Maybe that was it. Even in her mentally exhausted state, it didn’t take a genius to realize that the man was both gorgeous and enigmatic. It was only natural that she would respond to him.

The overwhelming need she’d felt to have him pull her into his arms and hold her against his nice broad chest … that was her hormones talking.

She folded her arms on the table and rested her forehead on top of them. She was full of horse manure.

Deep down, below the confusion and dread, the stress and anxiety of being forced to hide, she knew she’d have responded to Kane no matter what the circumstances. He was vital and strong, with that tantalizing hint of mystery. And he had integrity by the bushel.

And she had no right to let him become more involved in her life.

The tears began to flow again. This time she let them go, no longer bothering to hold back the sobs.

“Annie?”

She hadn’t heard him come in. He laid his hands on her shoulders at the same time he said her name. She choked simultaneously on a sob and a scream, unable to fight him as he lifted her to her feet.

“Come here,” he said gruffly.

His arms tightened around her, pulling her smaller, softer body tightly against his larger, harder one. He lifted one hand to her nape and tucked her head gently to his chest. It was broad and warm and made her feel so secure. She realized then that she didn’t want to fight him. Not when she was finally getting what she’d wanted all along.

“Kane,” she said, the sound muffled against the soft cotton of his shirt.

“Shhh. Stop trying to carry the whole world on your shoulders. Let someone hold you. Let me.”

His gentle urging was her undoing. It came too soon on the heels of her decision to stay away from him, too soon for her to recoup the strength she’d depleted with her crying jag. So she let herself go and curled into his strength, drawing energy from his warmth and the steady beat of his heart.

Just for a few minutes. Only a few minutes.

Kane bit his cheek to stifle the groan that rose in his throat. The feel of her, soft and trembling in his arms, was almost more than he could bear. His body had hardened the second she’d relaxed against him. He fought to keep his hands gentle when all he wanted to do was tighten them on her hips and drag her closer. He didn’t even allow himself to rest his chin on her hair, afraid if he smelled the sweet scent that seemed always to linger on her, he’d have to bury his face in the wild red curls and savor it.

She needs comforting not seducing, he reminded himself. She’d needed it before, but he’d wisely turned away and left. When another sob wracked her body, he cursed inwardly. This was all his fault. He shouldn’t have pushed her so soon. His body pulsed behind the fly of his jeans as she moved against him.

And he definitely shouldn’t have gotten back out of the truck when he’d heard her first choked sob.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do, Kane,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.

“Can you … do you think you can work it out?” Kane asked through gritted teeth. Lord, he wished he were anywhere but there. With her. Holding her. Yet, when she burrowed even more deeply into his arms, he knew he didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“No.”

Her response was adamant and immediate. And Kane felt something close to shame for the surge of pleasure he got from her succinct answer. “Is it the money?”

She let her cheek rest on his chest as she answered. “Money? What do you mean?”

Kane wasn’t sure how to phrase the next question. “I mean, it looks as if he cut you off, or you wouldn’t be picking berries in the middle of nowhere to survive.”

She was silent for a moment. He felt her tense, fighting another halting shudder as she drew in a breath.

“It’s one of the results, but not the reason. Why?”

The need to protect her had been strong from the moment he’d laid eyes on her. Now that he had her in his arms, he couldn’t deny that those same instincts were urging him to help her. Despite what he was beginning to feel, what he suspected he could share with a woman like her, if all she’d accept from him was money, than that was what he’d offer.

“Do you … did you want a lawyer or something? I mean, is there a reason you had to go so far away? To get away from him? A … physical reason?”

She stiffened and yanked herself from his arms. “I … I can’t tell you anything more, Kane. I’m sorry. I wish I could …” She pulled in an audible breath. “Maybe you’d better go.”

“Go?”

“Yes. Well, no. I mean—” She sniffled, then sighed heavily. “Thank you for offering support. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel great to lean on someone. It’s just … this is more complicated than it sounds, and I … I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I can’t. Do you understand?”

“What I understand is that you’re running yourself ragged up here, trying to survive,” he said, not giving a damn that his voice was harsh. She had him so tied up in knots, it was a wonder he could speak at all. “You obviously don’t think going back is the answer. Fine. But you won’t last the winter up here, Annie. So you’re going to have to deal with it pretty damn soon. And I don’t exactly see a long line of people standing around wanting to help.”

“I know,” she said softly.

There was so much defeat in those two words that a great deal of his anger fled. He took a step toward her but didn’t touch her. “So let me.”

“It isn’t that simple. I can’t let you get involved in this. You don’t know what you’d be getting into.”

“Then tell me so I do know.” His patience was close to snapping. He was going purely on instinct now, and it was wreaking havoc with his self-control. “I want to help you, Annie. But you have to tell me everything.” He wanted to reach out and pull her to him again, but he held his ground.

“Why? Why do you want to stick your neck out for me?”

It was a damn good question. Only he didn’t think she wanted to hear his instinctive response. She’d made an unexpected impact on him, and in only a few short days. He wasn’t too comfortable with the knowledge of his growing feelings for her and certainly wasn’t ready to share them. So he gave her a truth they could both handle.

“Because I know something is wrong here. And I know I can help. I can’t walk away from that. Is that so hard to understand?”

“Your sense of integrity is rare, no matter what you believe,” she said quietly. “But what makes you think you can help me? You don’t even know what I’m running from.”

There. He’d gotten her to trust him enough to admit it. But the feeling of triumph was overshadowed by the knowledge that she must have run for a damn good reason. “Then tell me,” he urged quietly. This time he did give in to the need to touch her. His eyes had long ago adapted to the dark, and he unerringly reached for her hips. He tugged her a step closer to him, struggling to keep his hold light.

She tensed. He could feel her muscles coil under his fingertips and sensed she was a breath away from running. He couldn’t let her do that. Not now when he was so close. He had to get her to tell him everything.

He had a split-second urge to pull her the rest of the way into his arms and kiss her until she was too dizzy to deny him anything. But the very last thing she needed right now was him coming on to her. It was amazing she’d let him offer what comfort he had without delivering a stinging slap to his cheek. He swallowed hard on the knowledge that maybe he’d feel better if she had. It might have gone a long way to assuaging his guilt over knowing he’d wanted to offer her a whole lot more than a friendly shoulder.

His first priority, however, was to get her to talk. Which left one other alternative. He knew it would be a lot easier for her to risk part of herself if he made the same commitment.

“Annie, there are things about me you don’t know.” He heard a strangled sound. Had she actually laughed? He didn’t pause to pursue it, knowing he wouldn’t have the nerve to do this twice. “I’ve spent a lot of years … studying human behavior. I’ve done some favors, worked for some people who have a lot of contacts. Powerful ones.” He gave in to the need to tug her another inch closer. “Let me help you,” he whispered.

He could see the glistening sheen of her eyes as she stared back at him. He felt her soften beneath his fingers and had to swallow the urge to shout in triumph.

“I really shouldn’t …” She angled her body away from him, then blew out a long breath. “I want to, Kane. But this is so hard.”

“I know it is. And I can’t force you to trust me.” He tugged her back around and unconsciously lifted his hand to her face. The absence of light heightened his sense of touch. Her skin was warm and soft, damp with the tears he’d caused her to shed. Very slowly he lowered his head and placed the softest kiss he could manage on each silver-streaked cheek. Her warm skin and sweet scent burned a path straight to his heart. But when she gasped, his desire to taste the rest of her rocked through him so hard, he almost dropped to his knees.

Using up all the willpower he had left, he let his hands drop to his sides in tightly clenched fists and stepped away.

“Why don’t you find the lantern,” he said, his voice barely more than a gruff rasp. “We’ll talk while we put this stuff away.”