“What do you mean she’s not here?” Ben asked again.
Rachel wrung her hands and looked teary-eyed, while Will thrust a hand through his hair.
“She’s in quarantine,” Will repeated and Ben stood staring at his cousin, unable to register that thought.
“For what? Why? When?”
“She didn’t say why she was quarantined, just that it was standard procedure. They ran a series of tests on the patient and on Treeny and the nurse with her. She and the nurse were in high spirits, but just as Treeny was telling us she was wonderful, the nurse yelled something about seizures and Treeny told us she loved us and hung up the phone.” Rachel spoke fast and low.
He stared, and then grappling for a chair, slumped into it. “She ...we can’t call her?”
Will shook his head. “She’s not answering her cell phone. And we don’t have the number for where she is.”
Ben ran a hand over his hair, as his heart galloped way too fast. He knew he was young to have a heart attack, and his physical condition might prohibit such a thing, but that organ felt abused at the moment.
“How can being a doctor be so dangerous?”
“She said the likelihood of her actually getting sick isn’t high. Most doctors have excellent immune systems, and she told us not to worry.” Rachel spoke in a defeated sort of way. Her tone didn’t help raise his spirits, for sure.
“This is routine, she said.” Will sounded calm and in control. Ben couldn’t think of anything to say.
He stared at them, nightmarish horrors speeding through his brain like a stealth bomber. She’s going to be okay, some voice blared in his mind, but he wasn’t listening.
“What if she contracts the same thing?”
Rachel moved to his side and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “We’ve been through this already, Ben. I had a meltdown, but honestly, she said she’s fine.”
“We have to trust that Treeny knows what she’s doing. She’s a trained medical professional.” Although Will looked a little pale around the edges, he continued to handle the situation. That was pure Will and Ben was never more grateful for his cousin than at this moment.
“I get back from my assignment, eager to see Treeny... I’ve only been gone four days.”
“We know, but this just happened today. First thing this morning, but we’re trying to hold on. She told us over and over she was fine. We have to believe her.”
Ben could tell by the intersecting dried tear paths over Rachel’s cheeks that today had been hard on her. Knowing Rachel like he did, he didn’t doubt she had a meltdown, which would have added to Treeny’s stress.
But knowing Treeny as he did, she would have known to call Will, which was why Rachel was acting so calmly now. This pair had a relationship that made others strive for what they shared. They really did complete each other.
He couldn’t complete Treeny if he couldn’t even keep her safe. How could she have been exposed to something deadly? Was what she’d been exposed to deadly?
Ben realized he was in near panic mode. SEALs do not panic a little voice reminded him. He had to get out and work off some of this excess energy. The only way for him to do that was to go for a run. He stood abruptly, almost knocking Rachel off the chair arm.
He caught her and said, “I need to go for a run. I’m taking my phone. If she calls, I want you to call me, okay?”
Will and Rachel nodded. He saw their clasped hands whiten around the knuckles. Ben tried to swallow his fear, but it seemed to have ensnared him in its tightest grasp, and he couldn’t shake loose. His heart pounded as bile rose into his throat.
What if he lost Treeny?
Treeny scrubbed the last of the soap off her arms and hands, rinsed, and turned to take a towel. Her head spun, and she sincerely hoped the cause was fatigue and not anything related to whatever kept sending their patient into seizures and muscle spasms like she’d never seen before.
Dr. Youthers had watched and called aid from the next room, but it was all she and Vanessa could do to relieve the woman. Fearful of prescribing medication without a proper diagnosis, she and Dr. Youthers had conferred multiple times.
In the end, they thought it best to leave the woman. A medicine might not help, but could prove disastrous to her condition. So she and Vanessa had watched helplessly as the next seizure wracked their patient’s body.
“We need to give her something,” Vanessa finally said behind her.
“Are the seizures worse?” They stood in an ante room where Treeny had been working on a diagnosis. She turned to look at Vanessa, and was concerned by the haunted look in her nurse’s eyes.
“If we don’t give her something, we’re risking brain damage.”
“Yes. But we could cause far worse damage.” Treeny thought for a little while. “We’ll see if we can alleviate the worst of the symptoms. Is Dr. Youthers still here?”
Vanessa looked out the window into the next room. “He is, as is Dr. Myers, who just got here.”
“Thank goodness,” Treeny said and breathed a little easier. Dr. Myers had been in the business nearly as long as Dr. Youthers, and she also possessed an uncanny ability with seizures.
“Let’s get them on the phone. Has she seen Miss Livingston seize?”
“I’ll ask.”
Vanessa grabbed the phone and punched in the number. Dr. Myers answered on the first ring. “Ladies. You’ve had some scares, I see.” Her voice was kind.
“Yes.” Vanessa pressed the button for speaker phone. “We could use your help.”
Dr. Myer’s voice came over the phone in crisp detail. “Here’s what I think you should try...”
Treeny could have cried. She’d been on duty for nearly eighteen nerve-wracking hours and her brain didn’t seem to want to function any longer. Having help, especially senior help from the likes of the two superior doctors in the next room was a relief untold.
Glancing at their patient, she began hoping they all made it out of here alive.
“Hello?” Rachel’s voice erupted over the phone line and Treeny winced. Her whole head felt like it might explode, such was her headache.
“Rachel, there’s no need to shout.” Treeny rubbed her abused member.
“I didn’t shout.”
“Sorry, we’re tired and cranky here.”
“Is your patient...?”
“She’s fine at the moment. The rest of us are tired, and need some sleep. I have a pounding headache, but before you flip out, it’s just stress,” she said and held her hand out before realizing Rachel couldn’t see her.
“You sound exhausted. There’s someone here who wants to speak with you.” Treeny heard the phone switching hands.
“Treeny?” Ben asked, his voice tight. Ben.
Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked rapidly. She missed him so much. Her world would be so much brighter and bearable if she could just hold him. “Ben?”
“Baby, are you okay? I get home and you’re not here. I never thought that would happen.” He sounded frustrated, and afraid, and worried about her.
“I’m fine. Tired, and cranky, but I think we’ve got this under control. A few of the tests have come back and fortunately those results are reassuring us that this isn’t something we need to worry about contracting.”
“But there is a possibility?”
“Well, yes. We could become sick, but it’s highly unlikely.” The silence on the other end of the line told an interesting story. “This is life, Ben. I could get sick going to the grocery store.”
“I doubt that, but I’ll take your word for it.” His voice was so tight she wondered if he spoke through clenched teeth. That’s what it sounded like.
“Dr. Deveau, the patient is coming around,” Vanessa said and Treeny wanted to tell her nurse to go sleep.
“Thank you, Vanessa, I’ll be right there.” She suppressed the urge to sigh. “Ben, I need to go. Our patient is rallying and we need to run more tests. She’s been through a very difficult night.”
Glancing at the clock, Treeny saw she and Vanessa had been awake for close to twenty-four hours. They both needed sleep.
“I’ll talk to you later, then.”
“Yes. I miss and love you so much.”
“Same here, baby, same here.” His response was laced with emotion, and that made her feel better.
“You guys get some sleep. Stop worrying about me. I’m fine. Or I will be once I can sleep.”
“We’ll do that. Your sister is taking this far better than I would have suspected.”
“That’s because Will is with her. Remove him and she’ll fall apart again. I have to go. Bye, Ben.” Disconnecting the phone was one of the hardest things she’d ever done.
Shoving a hand through her limp curls, she wondered if this day or night, or whatever time of day it was, would ever end.
“Treeny, we have suits, so we’ll take over. You go grab some sleep,” Dr. Myers said, speaking from inside the moon suit look-alike she had set aside for later.
“You haven’t slept either.”
Dr. Youthers, similarly suited, added his opinion. “Actually, we’ve both managed five hours. You and Vanessa haven’t had any, so go. We scrounged up some scrubs for you. Shower and sleep, and I think you’ll both feel better.”
“Another thing, there’s also some food we sent through. You better eat,” Dr. Myers added.
“You’re a mother, aren’t you?” Treeny teased.
“Yes, love, I am, now go.”
Neither she nor Vanessa needed any additional convincing.
“I’m ready to collapse,” Vanessa admitted.
“Me, too.” Treeny reached for a sandwich.
“I’ve never had a turkey and cheese sub for breakfast before.” Vanessa bit into the meal with gusto.
“Me either. But right now, I’d eat just about anything,” she admitted. Locating an iced tea she offered one to her nurse, who accepted the drink. She found another and opened it. “I needed that.” Treeny savored the first sip.
“Mmhmm,” Vanessa agreed through the bite of sandwich she took.
“Chips?” Treeny looked over the rest of the offerings.
“No.”
“Mmm, how about chocolate chip cookies?”
Vanessa perked up and she understood. “Yes. Please, all you can spare.”
“Here you go, three for you and three for me.”
“I might just make it after all.” Vanessa set her sandwich aside in favor of the cookie.
“I hear you.” Treeny stared at the wall. “Think you’ll be able to sleep?”
“Yes. But explaining this to the man is what worries me.”
“Yeah. I just got off the phone with mine, who happens to have a far more dangerous job, but I think I’m going to hear about the dangers of my profession anyway.” She realized her conversation with Ben had left her edgy and restless.
“Your man being the hot one who came to see you a month or two ago?”
“A month and a half ago. Yes. That’s him.”
“The Navy SEAL?”
She nodded. “Like his job is less dangerous than mine. We’re trained professionals, so he has no right yelling at me for what I do when he faces horrors I’ll never know.” She shuddered as she thought about those horrors. She didn’t want to know some of the things he faced. Did she? What she’d read in the books from Mitch had caused her hair to rise, not to mention her blood pressure, and they hadn’t gone into major detail.
“Tell him that,” Vanessa advised as she took another sip of her tea. “Are there more of these?” She held up her empty bottle.
Treeny rifled through their stock and located another for Vanessa. She selected another bottle for herself. They were likely both dehydrated. She opened a bottle of water and chugged it before starting on the second bottle of tea. Vanessa nodded and followed suit.
“I will tell him, but I still think he’s going to have lots to say on the subject of me and my job. Men. My life was so less complicated before him.” She gulped down more tea.
“But you love him, and you can’t imagine life without him,” Vanessa said sagely.
Startled, Treeny glanced at her. “How did you know that?”
“I’m in the same boat. Can’t live with him, can’t live without him. Men suck!” She raised her bottle in silent toast.
Treeny drank to that.
Four days later, around eight in the evening, she and Vanessa were finally given the okay to go home. Yet, even as she climbed wearily into her car, she worried. They’d eliminated the brain tumor hypothesis and were now fairly certain their patient suffered from meningitis. Treeny even suspected it was likely from a mosquito bite, of the arbovirus variety, most likely West Nile virus or a similar one. Yet the tests weren’t conclusive. Since the seizures started, she had privately ruled out severe migraines.
Driving home seemed almost surreal. Rachel had brought her clothes, and she’d been able to shower and sleep on a fairly regular schedule, but she was still tired. And she wanted to see Ben. Wanted to hold him.
But would he be home? She had no way of knowing if, in the three hours since they last spoke whether he’d been called up for an assignment. Living with the uncertainty of her job, and then his too had caused several mini meltdowns on her end.
She managed to contain the symptoms until she climbed into the shower, but still. Knowing she wasn’t handling her personal life very well at the moment rankled. Before all this, she dealt with her life and its various problems just fine.
Back then, she had only been Treeny, but now, being a couple, being only one half of Ben and Treeny seemed odd. She couldn’t seem to adjust. Why? She loved Ben. Couldn’t imagine living without him, so what was going on? Would life be simpler without him? Yes. But did she want that?
With no answers, she pulled into her parking space and shut off the engine. Propping her chin against the steering wheel, she stared at the swirling sunset.
How would this evening end? She knew she wanted to curl up and sleep. For days. Then maybe she would be better prepared for her newly mixed up life. How could she have gone from perfectly normal to meltdown-woman in five short days?
“Treeny?” Ben’s voice sounded and her gaze snapped from the spectacular setting sun to him.
With acute care she unsnapped her seat belt and opened the door. He reached in and tugged her out of the car. He hoisted her easily in his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck and settled her head on his shoulder. His beloved masculine scent reached out to welcome her. She breathed deeply.
His arms tightened around her at the same time her family surrounded them. He set her on her feet and she hugged everyone. From Rachel to Will to all of their kids. Even Will’s mom was there, and Lainy, and KC, and Janine, and various other people she didn’t take the time to recognize.
While she enjoyed the hugs, she wanted to go to bed. And sleep.
Ben scooped her up again, and KC said, “Looks like she could use some sleep folks.”
“Bless her,” Treeny muttered against Ben’s neck and felt him smile. Pete’s tail whapped against their legs. She patted her dog and heard Rachel instruct one of the kids to put Pete in their house.
She heard Janine directing traffic and the two doctors accompanied them up the stairs. When Ben laid her on her bed, both women moved in. “Hello,” Treeny protested. “I’m a doctor. I don’t need an examination. Plus I’ve been thoroughly looked over by two of our senior docs.”
“Pipe down, love, this will only take a minute.” Janine’s voice was kind, but firm. Treeny closed her eyes, not caring. But she did open her hand and grope until she located skin. Opening her eyes, she saw she grasped Janine’s arm.
Searching, she found Ben and held out her hand to him. He settled on the edge of her bed, and offered his hand. She closed her eyes again and forgot the world as the embrace of sleep took over.
When she awoke sometime in the night, she felt strong, masculine arms around her. Ben’s scent wafted across her senses and she savored his close proximity, secure in the only arms that mattered. Snuggling closer she kissed his chest and returned to her romp with the Sandman.
The next morning, sunlight streaming over her eyes woke her. Blinking in the bright light, she felt warmth and smelled Ben. When she turned her head, she saw him. He offered her a lazy, masculine grin. She returned the gesture and leaned over to kiss him.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning, yourself,” she replied, and had to squeeze him. She’d missed him so much. Wanted him so much.
“I missed you. Treeny, you really scared me.” He looked so solemn, and she shrugged.
“This is a part of my job. It happens. Rarely, and some doctors are never exposed. Usually the emergency room doctors are more at risk than we family practitioners, but this is something I’m trained for.”
“I understand that, but I still don’t like the idea of you being in danger.”
Her stomach growled. “Can we take a rain check on this conversation, please?”
“Yeah, maybe we better feed you.”
“Sounds good. I don’t remember the last time I ate something that wasn’t processed.” She wrinkled her nose. “Let’s not eat anything processed today, okay?”
“Okay. I didn’t know you were a health nut, by the way.”
“What classifies a health nut?”
“Last time I cooked for you, I noticed you have lots of organic and whole grain stuff.”
“I feel better on organic things,” she answered and carried some clean clothes into the bathroom. “I’ll be out in a moment.”
Showering in her own bathroom was a treat. She didn’t linger, but hurried through her cleaning process. She’d rather spend the time with Ben. Who was cooking for her. What a man.
Treeny left the bathroom and smelled something wonderful. “What is that?” Treeny sniffed the air, smelling cinnamon and sugar. “Mmm.”
He grinned. “This is French toast and bacon. For you.” He slid a plate in front of her.
“How on earth did you accomplish something this wonderful smelling so quickly?”
“It’s a secret. Maybe if you try, you can work the answer out of me.” Ben wiggled his eyebrows at her. Something melted inside her. Then warmth spread from her heart to her limbs. He had no idea how delightful that prospect sounded.
She leaned down and kissed him before sliding into the chair across from his.
Smiling, she answered, “I’ll enjoy trying.” She raised the coffee mug to her lips and took a sip, maintaining eye contact with him.
“I like that in a woman.”
“Good. So what have you been up to since I’ve been... otherwise detained?”
Wrong thing to ask, apparently. His face went blank, all humor and joking disappeared as fast as a blink.
“I worried about you.” He forked up a chunk of French toast.
“Besides that? Surely you all didn’t hold a vigil.” She heard the exasperation in her voice.
He looked up and she started at the intensity in his eyes. “Of course we held a ‘vigil’. None of us had any idea if you’d contract some deadly disease and we would never see you again.”
“Ben, anyone can contract a deadly disease. Cancer, a deadly virus,” she waved a hand, “there are too many to list. But anyone can get them. They don’t distinguish who they target. You just feel sick and go to the doctor, and the doctor diagnoses you, hopefully.”
“You treat sick people every day. What are you putting yourself in contact with?”
“You’re placing yourself in contact with the exact same illnesses, because they’re everywhere. Maybe I’m receiving a concentrated dose, but I have an excellent immune system. I eat right, I exercise. I’m taking care of myself.” She didn’t understand where he was coming from. His job was so much more dangerous than hers, but he certainly didn’t focus on that.
“But you just said not all diseases are based on taking care of yourself. You could be subjected to anything that comes along. Your job is dangerous, Treeny.”
She stared at him, completely at a loss for words. “My job is dangerous?”
“Yes!”
Treeny set her fork carefully on the table. “I’m a trained professional. And I don’t face down bullets, bombs, and terrorists, and goodness only knows what else, like you do. How is my job more dangerous than yours?”
“I’ve been specially trained to handle those dangerous situations. And I’ve got a team of equally trained professionals who have my back.”
Mouth agape, she stared at this man she didn’t know. Did he even hear what he was saying?
“I also have extensive training. And I also have an equally trained team at my back. But like me, you have no idea when disaster could strike. You can’t dodge every bullet that’s fired at you. You can’t avoid every bomb.” Ire surged when he shook his head.
“We’re talking about totally different situations here.”
“How? We’re talking about both of us having dangerous jobs, except if you ask anyone on the street they’re not going to mention medicine being dangerous. I agree it could be potentially dangerous, but it’s nothing like being a Navy SEAL, or a fireman, or a police officer. Or just a military person in general. Those are dangerous careers. Medicine is not.”
But it was like talking to a wall. At least the wall didn’t cross his arms and stare her down with cold, dark eyes. Ben wasn’t going to budge on this subject. Of all the stupid things to have a fight about.
“My hours aren’t as bad as yours, either.” She crossed her own arms. She felt like a six year old with the ridiculous behavior they exhibited. He was being so unfair.
“You’ve been harping on my hours since we started dating.”
“I know. But have I ever asked you to give up your job?” She bristled a little, but she had gone on about his hours. Yet his hours weren’t the main problem, the danger of his job was.
“Of course not. But I knew that would make you happy.”
“What?” She stared at him, trying to figure out who this man was, because she didn’t recognize him.
“If I got a real job, with real hours, you’d be happier.”
“I am struggling with your hours, I admit it, but more so with the danger of your job. I hate the thought of you dying. But I don’t want you to be anything other than what you are. You’ve wanted to be a SEAL for as long as I’ve known you. I would never ask you to give up your job.”
His arms were still crossed and he watched her speculatively. As though he weighed her words on some justice and truth scale.
“You wouldn’t be happy doing anything else,” she said, not liking the silence.
“Probably not. I love what I do.”
His voice hadn’t risen at all, even though she knew he was agitated by their conversation. He kept control of himself, while she was flying off the handle. This man was going to make her insane.
Taking a deep breath before replying seemed like a good idea. “I know that. This is why I would never ask you to give up what you do. I have no intentions of giving up what I’m doing.”
“I’ve never asked you to give it up.” She thought he spoke through clenched teeth.
“Then what do you want?” Frustrated, tired of this conversation, she wanted it to end.
“I don’t know. But I don’t like how dangerous your job is.”
“Well I don’t like how dangerous yours is either. On top of that, you keep insane hours. But I’m supposed to deal with it.” She couldn’t see how this was going to work. Fighting with Ben was far different than kissing him and right now she didn’t know what to do with him.
“Yeah,” he said with finality. “I have asked a lot from you. Maybe I’ll just stop asking.” He slowly rose from his chair and her heart plummeted.
“What? What are you saying?” Not certain how they could work this out, but knowing if their relationship meant enough to them, they could. They both wanted this relationship, right?
He shook his head, and looked away. “We’re fooling ourselves, Treeny. This isn’t going to work. I can’t handle another five days like I’ve been through. And now I’ve had just a little taste of what I ask you to live with whenever I leave. I can’t do this.”
Ben watched her, and she saw the pain in his eyes, but she stood there, tears welling with no idea what to say. No idea what to even think. She blinked, trying to hold them at bay.
“You’re not even going to try and work this out? We can work it out,” she whispered. Believing her words, but not.
“Do you think so? Do you really think we can work our differences, our fears about the other out? Is that truly what you feel?” he pressed. The scrape of boots on stone erupted in her mind. Images of the nightmare blew past and she shuddered.
Her insecurities must have shown because he nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m sorry.” He left so silently she never heard the door open or shut, but she knew the moment he left. Because his vital, needful presence left with him.
The room felt as empty as her heart.
She shoved her plate away, and thought about all she’d been through in the last five days. A death scare, a patient she still hadn’t cured, and now she had broken up with the only man she ever wanted.
Her eyes burned because even though she wanted to, she couldn’t cry.