“Ben, baby, what seems to be the problem. Come on, talk to papa,” Shively cajoled. Ben could tell he was serious, in a joking way.
Shaking his head, he tried to move past the SEAL. The office where many of them worked had begun to stifle him and he wanted out.
A firm hand on his arm stopped him. “Ben, I’m serious here. You’re like a panther with a sore paw. You come and go silently, and when you do talk, you growl at everyone. You’ve lost weight, and what you’ve lost, you gained in surliness. And Commander, none of us deserve your new attitude.” There was no joking in Shively’s tone now.
“Treeny and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.” The room dropped to utter silence.
He heard one of the guys swear, and felt like doing the same thing. He couldn’t move on until he moved past her, but he couldn’t seem to move beyond Treeny.
She lit up his life and world, but he had no idea how to resolve their differences.
“Why’d you do that?” Beaumont asked. Had any of the other men asked, he probably would have taken off their heads, but Beaumont ran deeper than even Welby.
“Too many differences.”
“Because you’re black?” Lanford’s forehead pleated. Like he didn’t understand.
“No, that never entered into it. My skin color is darker than the rest of my family’s, but it’s not something we even think about. Treeny doesn’t think about it, I’m sure. She doesn’t care.” He knew his declaration was true. Neither of them had ever given their racial differences a thought. It was a non-issue.
“Then what?” Shively sounded exasperated.
“Our jobs. Mine is dangerous and has difficult hours, and hers is dangerous and can have long hours.”
“She’s a doctor,” Shively pointed out and looked around the room at the rest of the men.
They all looked perplexed.
“Yeah, well, I spent five days waiting to hear if she’d contracted a deadly disease from one of her patients. She and the nurse helping her were quarantined until all the tests came back.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I lived through that with Welby.” He didn’t add that the helplessness that welled then and the past few days had nearly undone him. Give him a terrorist, a shark, even an Uzi pointed at him and those were all things he could fight. But cancer cells and viruses were enemies he couldn’t begin to understand, much less have a clue how to defeat.
His men still wore confused expressions, and frustrated, he turned on his heel and left the room. He had to find something to keep his mind off his personal life.
So what if the guys didn’t understand? He did. He couldn’t handle Treeny in danger like that. If he couldn’t protect her...
“Ben, I think you need to reconsider this,” Beaumont said quietly behind him.
“Reconsider what?”
“Your relationship with Treeny. You’re miserable, and you’re making everyone else that way. What’s going to happen if your mind isn’t on your job? You could get yourself or one of us killed.”
“I can’t handle five days like I lived through waiting for her.” His jaw clenched tighter. The fact he couldn’t seem to relax those muscles probably caused the headache he’d dealt with the past few days.
“Like she has to live every time you leave?”
“She was working on it.”
“Yeah, she was. You are not. You’ve loved this woman for what ten, twelve years, and now you’re going to throw her away because you can’t deal with her job?” Beaumont’s tone carried enough disbelief to make Ben cringe.
“What if she dies?”
“What if she does? She could get hit by a car. Or struck by lightning. We don’t know if that’s going to happen tomorrow, but it is going to happen, Ben. Someday. Wouldn’t you rather have the time with her? For all you know she could outlive you. One of the boys might pop you off today, in fact.” Beaumont’s lips twisted with his wry statement.
He understood his friend’s humor but he didn’t know if he could do what Beaumont asked. He wanted Treeny, yes. But on his terms. That sounded so arrogant. Beaumont was right in that he didn’t know when either of them would die. And living without Treeny was harder than he had expected. Now that they had been a couple it seemed that was a one way pass. There was no transportation back to singlehood. There was no way back, so instead he stood in a lonely station at the edge of nowhere and he was still reluctant to board the train to coupledom.
Could he and Treeny work out their differences? His heart beat an unsteady rhythm.
***
“Dr. Deveau?” Another doctor, Melissa, waved her hand in order to snag Treeny’s attention.
“I’m sorry, Dr. Zeigler, what did you say?” Treeny looked at the patient they were supposed to be discussing and tried to refocus her attention on her work.
“I think she could have...” and Melissa launched into a diagnosis and treatment that made sense. Treeny had to concentrate not to tune her out. She had to concentrate to do her job. She had to concentrate to concentrate.
“Yes, I think you’re right. Let’s run some tests, and see. Miss Johnson, I’m sure, would like to feel better,” she answered, smiling at the woman. Who offered a wan smile in return. She was pale and weary, but not clutching her head like the patient that had sent Treeny and Vanessa into quarantine. At least they had been able to diagnose her with viral meningitis. Ms. Livingston made a full recovery and was back to work and happy. Treeny wished she could relate.
“I would like that.” Treeny was a bit alarmed by this patient’s weakness, but if what Melissa, an excellent doctor, proposed was the problem, then the patient should start feeling better soon.
Treeny followed Melissa out the door, and sat at her desk. She didn’t have another patient for forty minutes.
She typed some notes into the patient charts and filled in test forms. This was her only chance to catch up on her paperwork. As she typed, she listed some food allergies one patient had forgotten to mention until the end of the examination.
Speaking of food, Treeny decided maybe she ought to locate some. Not recalling the last time she ate might be the reason why she felt a little faint herself.
“You look pretty rough,” Vanessa said, seating herself at the table across from Treeny.
“Hi,” Treeny said. “Thanks.”
“I’m telling you, Treeny, you look like you’re about to collapse. How much weight have you lost?”
“I don’t know.” Nor do I care, a voice added in her mind.
“That hot man not in your life now?”
Treeny sighed. Maybe if she could cry she’d feel better. But her eyes remained as dry as her heart remained empty. It was like she had turned into an android. No emotions, no thoughts, she just existed. It wasn’t an unpleasant place. Not exactly.
“No.”
“Well, I have good news.”
“Oh?” She wished she could be more interested.
“Yeah, my mama and Dr. Youthers are dating.”
She smiled. The first genuine smile she remembered in a couple of weeks. “That’s wonderful news, Vanessa. I think they’ll make a fine couple.”
“Me, too. He seems to really care about her, and she’s definitely head over heels already.”
“Your mama’s an easy woman to love.” Treeny wished the same could be said of herself. She finished her meal just as she was paged over the intercom. “Sorry to eat and run.”
“No problem.” Vanessa flapped a hand.
“Tell your mama I’m really happy for her,” she said, before she left. And she was. At least someone was happy in love.
She arrived home later that evening to a bunch of people in Rachel and Will’s house. “What happened?” she asked the nearest person, Ben’s dad.
“Looks like their hot water heater burst.”
“I came over to check on things, and found a disaster,” Monica, Will’s mom added.
Treeny nodded. There was more than one here, but she wasn’t about to share that.
“That’s right, they’re on vacation. I forgot.” Max, one of Will’s younger brothers, said from behind the crowd.
“We’d better check out your place, too,” Ben’s dad said, looking at her.
“What?” Treeny turned to see them all staring at her. “Yeah, sure, I’ve got the key right here.”
Everyone tramped up the stairs behind her. She opened the door and wondered if she’d left out anything that might embarrass her. But then that now familiar voice said who cares?
She didn’t, that was for sure. Will and Max’s parents, and a few brothers-in-law, and Ben’s parents all tromped into her apartment. The men immediately headed to the closet that housed the water heater.
The ladies entered her kitchen and Ben’s mom, who could have been nasty since she and Ben broke up, instead marched out of the room carrying Treeny’s trash can.
“This is empty.” How Heather made that an accusation, Treeny wasn’t certain.
She peered into the bin. Sure enough, except for a few paper towels, it was. She nodded at her not-to-be-mother-in-law.
“Treeny, your trash day is tomorrow, this should be piled high. I emptied Rachel and Will’s outside cans, but there was nothing in yours.”
Not grasping the concept Ben’s mother was trying to make, she blinked at her, while confusion swirled. What was the big deal?
“It means you’re not eating, love,” Max’s mom explained, standing shoulder to shoulder with Heather.
“I’ve been eating,” she lied, trying to think of any meals she had managed to consume in the last few days. She couldn’t remember her last visit to a grocery store, much less what she had cooked.
Max’s mom opened her refrigerator. Its bare shelves proved she hadn’t been to the grocery store. There wasn’t so much as a container of milk inside. Ben’s mom opened her dishwasher, which showed no dishes, either clean or dirty.
Both women crossed their arms over their chests and stared her down. “It’s obvious Rachel’s been gone,” Ben’s mom said.
“Yes, I was just thinking that. She would have made certain you ate,” Monica stated. She’d know since Rachel was her daughter-in-law. The ladies wore identical militant expressions.
Treeny finally recalled eating lunch. “I ate lunch today.”
“What did you have?”
Oh, come on! How was she supposed to remember that? Hedging a bit, she said the first thing that entered her brain. “Fruit salad and a turkey sandwich.”
“That’s a start, love, but you need more than that. What are you planning for supper?”
“I’ve been eating out.” she lied again, and her heated cheeks must have given her away.
“I’ll start packing,” Monica said.
Alarm fingered down her spine. “Packing for what?”
Heather looked her up and down and tsked. “To take you home with her.”
“Why? I’m fine here.”
“You may come back once Rachel returns,” Ben’s mom stated emphatically.
“But...” Treeny started, but began sputtering.
Max glided through the door and tossed something into her empty trash can.
“It’s okay, Treen, just accept their total domination. We’re going to the lake anyway.”
Monica turned to her. “And Max will carry you down to the car if you resist.”
“Actually, if KC catches sight of you, she’ll carry you down to the car. And that’s just KC... now Janine...” he trailed off with a shrug, gave her a little pat and left the room.
“We’re worried sick about you, girl,” Ben’s mom said fiercely. “So we’ll take care of you whether you like it or not.”
“Well put, Heather.” Monica offered a firm nod to her sister-in-law.
Staring into these ladies eyes, women who should hate her for breaking Ben’s heart, if indeed she had, but still cared for her made her blink. These women who should have taken his part made her realize something else. Somewhere along the line, Treeny Deveau had become family to them. Despite her relationship with Ben, she had her own relationship with his family.
They must love her or neither woman would care that she hadn’t eaten in days. Neither would be dictating her life. Neither would care that she had stopped taking care of herself.
Instead, she saw sympathy and love in their eyes. She read acceptance. Things she needed so badly, but had held in because the pain was too raw and Rachel was away.
The tears that wouldn’t come before flooded her now, as ragged sobs wrenched through her.
Ben’s mother folded her tight, and Treeny wrapped her arms around this woman offering comfort. If she couldn’t have Ben, his mom would do. Finally, her eyes weren’t burning. The tears raged.
“I think I’ve packed the last of her things,” Monica said. Treeny blinked the sleep from her eyes. She remembered crying and then Ben’s mom helping her to her bed. She couldn’t recall a thing after that until now. She must have enjoyed a nice nap, since they were discussing her.
“Good. I’m relieved she finally cried.”
“I know. I’m glad Rachel called us to keep an eye on her. I think she would have called their vacation off otherwise.” That sounded like Rachel. Her big sister watching out for her, as always.
“Yes and they need this time away. Even though Rachel was right. Treeny shut down on us, didn’t she?”
“I’d say. I’m glad she cried the pain out.”
“Since I haven’t seen him, I hope Ben’s doing better than this.” Treeny heard the pain in his mom’s voice, and thought their breakup must be difficult for a mother.
“Ben will work through it. He’s being stupid now, but he’ll catch on. He’s smart,” Monica declared.
“Let’s hope he does. This whole deal with him being afraid of losing her is ridiculous.” She watched Heather shake her head and reach out to grasp Monica’s hand.
“It’s silly. We’re all going to die,” Monica said, but Treeny saw her squeeze Heather’s hand. “It reminds me that Will had some difficulties before he asked Rachel to marry him.”
“He did?”
“Of course. He was afraid he couldn’t protect her either. She’d just lost her father, remember? She was a wreck, and he fretted that he couldn’t help her.”
“That’s right, I remember that now.” Heather paused, but then nodded as she added something to one of Treeny’s suitcases.
“And Lainy worried about Mitch changing his mind. She also worried about his safety.” Monica shook her head then ceased her puttering to stare out the window.
“She did. But why worry about losing her to death? Who besides Ben would think that way?”
“Max.” Max’s voice entered into the conversation, and Treeny tamped her rising amusement.
“Max?” his mother echoed.
“Yeah. Max not only worried about losing his woman, he took her to the airport to send her off to war.” He leaned against the doorway from the kitchen, eating a cookie. Where had he found those? Her stomach rumbled in interest.
Both his mother and his aunt gasped. “Of course you did, love—”
“You need to tell that to my silly son immediately. You certainly did send KC off to war. And you survived.” Heather’s voice was no-nonsense.
“There were nights I didn’t think I would, though. Ryan made all the difference. I had to stay sane because of him. But there were nights I’d wake up in a cold sweat, wondering if she was being bombed. Praying nothing happened to her.” Max’s eyes were intense, like Ben’s gleamed sometimes and her heart ached.
Maybe it was easier being a robot. Now that her emotions had returned, she didn’t think she would enjoy life much. Not that she had enjoyed it before, but at least then she didn’t care.
Ben’s mom practically pushed Max out the door. “You go home and you call him.”
“Aunt Heather, I have told him and he’s probably not able to take calls right now anyway.” Max kept eating his cookie and avoided his aunt’s shoves.
“It doesn’t matter, tell him again. E-mail him, fax him, send a telegram. Anything, just tell him. Goodness, he’s worried about Treeny contracting something, but you sent KC off to war. Go!”
Max, laughing by now, kissed his mother goodbye and exited down the stairs.
“I doubt he’ll be able to help much,” Monica said sadly.
Heather spun to stare at her sister-in-law. “Why?”
“Because Ben has to understand all this on his own. No one else can make such an important, life altering decision for him. And he needs to realize Treeny’s the one who’s sending him off to dangerous situations, not the other way around. He’s acting like this because he’s afraid.”
Heather bit her lip. “You’re right. I know you’re right, but I didn’t raise a stupid child. Ben’s bright, how can he...”
“I think he needs time. He’ll figure this out. At least he’ll realize he’s absolutely miserable without Treeny, and that has to mean something.” They both turned and at the last minute, Treeny realized they would probably look at her. She closed her eyes and faked sleep. This wasn’t so hard. With her eyes closed, she had nothing to do but think about what she’d overheard.
How she wished there were easier answers.
A hug from Ben would do at the moment.
Seeing Ben would be enough.
Loving him appeared to be a lifetime sentence.