Treeny sat in the sun, and enjoyed the early morning breeze on her face. She was glad she came here, thankful for the reminder she was alive. Maybe her life hadn’t turned out as planned, but she knew she had to move forward.
So Ben wouldn’t be a part of her life. Their new cabins would remain apart and single, like their owners. But that’s how they’d been created so she could deal. While she couldn’t imagine a life without him right now, she would learn to adapt.
Her work was important to her. She would simply throw every bit of her energy into that. Besides, maybe losing Ben and getting over him now would aid her heartache if something happened to him in the future. Pain ratcheted down her throat and into her heart. The stunning realization that losing Ben would be painful regardless of her place in his life wasn’t welcome.
She placed her head on her knees and tried to regain control. KC and Max had been through this. And Janine would never be this girlie. Thinking about Janine and KC, Treeny wondered about joining the military. She could spend some time in Kuwait. A hot, thankless place, but fast paced apparently. KC had come home and collapsed. Janine made similar remarks about both of her stints there.
The no-time-to-think aspect appealed to her. And the extra income could go toward paying off her cottage. Then she could use the place whenever she wanted. She wouldn’t have to rent it out. Due to the repairs, the realtor who handled the rentals had opted to send vacationers to other cabins until the construction was finished.
Those were promised for sometime this month. While Treeny wasn’t thankful for the unspecified amount of time, she was grateful the place had been empty when she arrived last evening with Monica and her husband.
She had managed some steady, fast talking to convince them she would be fine in her own cottage. Only with the compromise that she had to appear for meals with them had she finagled to sleep in her own bed.
Smiling faintly at the memory, she appreciated the fact that while Ben didn’t care about her, his family did. That thought brought back the hurt so intensely she doubled over. Tears sprang from nowhere and she stared unseeing out across the water and wondered how to move on.
But she would. She had to. Wallowing in self pity worked for a week or two, but now she needed to figure this out. Ben already had. He’d been called up soon after he left her that morning two weeks ago.
She hadn’t seen him, or heard from him since. Not that she was surprised. His truck had been parked outside his cabin this morning when she arose, but she would make every effort to avoid him. Right now, even though she longed to see him, she couldn’t.
When the wounds were raw, best to keep them covered, and seeing Ben would not only uncover them, but rip them to shreds. Pete scampered over to her, a small branch in her mouth. Treeny took the stick and threw it for the puppy.
Pete’s tail went into overdrive and she barked in her not-so-squeaky puppy voice before barreling after the new toy. Treeny smiled because she couldn’t locate the emotion to allow her to laugh. Someday she would laugh, though. And she’d mean it. But not today.
She played with Pete a little longer. When the Morrisons around her began to wake and leave their cottages, she decided to pack it in. She didn’t have to go to breakfast today, because she promised, after buying breakfast items, to eat both mornings.
Whistling for Pete, she walked back to her little house. Inside, true to her promise, she made breakfast and forced every bite down. She even drank a glass of milk and another of orange juice.
When she looked in the mirror this morning, she finally saw what had become of her. Observing how pathetic she looked, she resolved to alter that. She wanted to be healthy again. Right now she looked and felt dismal.
She cleaned the cottage and then trailed over to her couch to pick up the novel she purchased with her breakfast items. Reading always made her happy and this book was by her favorite author. It’d be an old friend by the time she finished reading it the first time.
Settling in, Treeny opened to the first page.
***
Ben stared at himself in the mirror. He wiped the last of the shaving cream off his face. When he couldn’t meet his own eyes in the glass, he turned away.
Janine was breakfasting with Max and KC. Good for her. Ryan kept running up to her and hugging her, and Ben liked how relaxed she looked. Bringing her here had been one of his better ideas. Not that he had many of those lately.
Somehow he found himself at Treeny’s door. He’d known it would come to this. He had a wrong to make right. Please, let him say the right words. Because if he screwed this up, he’d lose everything.
Why did he know now that he needed Treeny to be happy? Why couldn’t this revelation have arrived two weeks ago? Before he made the biggest mistake of his life.
He raised his hand and tapped the door. Waiting wasn’t normally an issue for him, but today, in this moment, it seemed like an eternity before she opened the door. When she did, he drank in her face like a thirsty man. Treeny.
Her face, open and accepting when she opened the door, closed off and declined when she realized who he was. Ben watched in amazement as she shook her head, swallowed, and shut the door in his face.
He witnessed the tears well in her eyes. What upset him was the total denial he watched cross her expressive face. Like she couldn’t cope with him right now. Never had Treeny shut him out of her life before. Her rejection shredded his heart into bits he doubted could ever be repaired.
Ben stood there staring incredulously. Thinking of her face like that chilled his blood. Had she given up on them? Moved on?
No.
That one word gave him some hope. From somewhere deep inside, he denied her denial. No. He had to speak to her. At least to apologize for his actions.
Entering her cottage was easy. He had crossed her threshold without thought last night. So he would repeat his actions. Now – in the light of day and face this problem head on. He needed to speak to her. Even if she protested.
The time didn’t have to end with them kissing passionately, although that would help. No, he needed surcease from the pain. Something only she could offer. Once they cleared the air, maybe then they could form a new relationship.
Trying not to think of a relationship where he couldn’t touch her freely, couldn’t kiss her, he opened the door. He shut it quietly and stood in the room’s slight gloom before locating Treeny on the couch across the way. Her hand was pressed over her mouth and tears streamed silently down her face.
She swayed gently, as though trying to soothe herself. Ben had to look away for a moment. He’d done this. He hurt her.
Not able to bear both their pain, he strode across the room. At the last minute, he decided not to touch her. Unsure whether he could bear the torment and not wanting to add to her woes, he instead knelt in front of her.
“Treeny?”
She gasped and turned away from him. Her shrinking motion away from him told him more than words could have. Tears welled in his own eyes. She didn’t want him.
You have to try, a voice commanded inside him. SEALs don’t give up, another voice barked, sounding remarkably like Admiral O’Riley.
Using all the strength he possessed, he reached up and cupped her chin, turning her face back to him. The tears poured faster down her cheeks. He nearly dropped his hand.
When she bit back a sob, he folded. Not able to bear her pain, he stood and scooped her into his arms. He sat where she had and held her so tight he feared she couldn’t breathe. Feeling heartened at last by the too slender arms that curled around him. Treeny buried her face in his neck and sobbed.
He did the only thing he could. He cried with her.
Her heaving sobs decreased as he held her as tightly as he could. He’d caused this, so he needed to weather the storm with her. Because he deserved to feel like the biggest jerk possible. Since he was.
“I’m sorry I gave up on us, Treeny,” he whispered. Pressing her so close, he could feel each fragile rib.
“I...I didn’t stop you,” she cried, hiccups escaping along with several sobs.
He shook his head. “I don’t think you could have. I was in full jerk mode. Nothing you said could have stopped me.”
“Even – I love you, don’t go?”
The first genuine smile in two weeks creased his lips as he swooped in to plant a kiss on her temple. “Maybe that would have gotten my attention.” He stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know that I would have stayed even then though,” he whispered.
“Oh, Ben. I just don’t know if we can do this,” she whispered back. He hated the sad, resigned note in her voice.
“We can work out anything we have to. So long as we have each other. If we work together to solve the problem, we can do this.”
Her sigh pierced his soul. “I can’t go through this again. I can’t handle this pain. I’m barely surviving now.”
“I know. My squad made me leave. I had strict orders not to come back until I bought a new attitude. I’m their commanding officer.”
He felt her grin. “You were that bad?”
“Yeah. Shively said I was like a panther with a sore paw.”
“I just shut down.”
“Janine told me.”
“How would she know?”
“She heard the scoop from Max.” He rested his chin on her head.
“I didn’t think Max was a gossip.”
“He isn’t. But he is a match fixer. I remember Mitch saying Max helped him and Lainy.”
“Max is a romantic?”
“I don’t know. Can we not talk about my cousin?” He heard the exasperation he hadn’t removed from his voice.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Us.”
She shook her head. “There is no us, Ben.”
“There could be.”
“How? We’re both afraid for the other. I hate the hours you keep. And the fact that you might not return to me. But I’d never ask you to leave the job you love. A job where you’re needed.”
The truth was there in her eyes. Easy for him to read as he tilted her chin up. “I wouldn’t ask you to leave yours, either. But Treeny, can you live without me?”
Staring into her eyes as he was, he saw the truth again in her glistening blue-gray orbs. He tipped her chin further and pressed his lips to hers. She melted. Her arms tightened around his neck and he cajoled with his lips and tongue. This woman was his. Even if she didn’t see that at the moment, his assignment was obviously to convince her.
When their lips parted, she rested her forehead against his. “Ben, I can’t...”
“Yes you can, because I’ll help. I was stupid once, and left you. But Treeny, we don’t have a choice in this. We’re not two separate people anymore. We’re two halves of a whole. You know that.”
Her arms tightened briefly around his neck, and she heaved a deep sigh. Her face settled against his neck again. He marveled at how perfectly she fit in his arms. Perfectly, as though she’d been made for him. Hmm, maybe he could use this angle in his efforts to convince her.
“I think we were made for each other, Treeny. Now that the pieces have been fit together, they aren’t going to function as two halves now.”
“I don’t know, Ben.” This time he heard the truth.
“Yes, baby, I think you do.”
***
“Ben and Treeny are back together?” KC asked Janine.
Janine stared blankly at her friend. “What?”
“They just left her cabin and they’re holding hands and brushing against each other like they’ve made up.”
Turning, Janine saw what KC said appeared indeed to be the truth. She turned back and high-fived Max. “We did it.”
He grinned. “We make an excellent team.”
“Yes, we do.” She took another sip of coffee.
“You two want to fill me in on this little secret?” KC asked. Janine watched her scoop up Macy and place the baby to her breast. Max trailed a hand over their daughter’s cheek.
While Janine enjoyed the picture they made of a loving family, she couldn’t ignore the ache in her own heart for what she lacked. Never before had she wanted anything other than what she now had. A loving set of parents and grandparents, and siblings and cousins galore. She had that now.
So why did Greg Gilmore’s face keep haunting her?
***
“We’re getting looks,” Treeny said as she felt another grin on her back.
“Yeah, well, that’s to be expected. We’re at the lake.”
“Right. And the Morrisons are nosy.” Treeny loved that they were together again, at least tentatively. She didn’t even mind the stares and grins and nudges. Although a little more privacy might be nice.
What she did mind was whether she could handle Ben being gone. Because that still bothered her. Well, you didn’t handle being separated from him permanently, so deal, a voice said tartly in her head. So true. She’d already proven she didn’t handle life without him with any competence.
At least for the times when he was home, she would have him, and that would have to do. That precious time together was far better than never seeing each other. She hadn’t lived these past two weeks, she had functioned. From the accounts of his relatives and her work colleagues, not very well, either. But the warmth of the sunlight on her face, and the gentle breeze caressing her hair and carrying the beloved scents of the lake told Treeny she lived now.
She wanted to be alive. The only way she knew she could do so was to have Ben in her life. Even if she only had him for a few days at a time, knowing he was coming home to her made all the difference.
Ben stopped in a scenic area before the lake and turned to her. She looked up at him, but he vanished from her viewpoint. Looking down, she saw him on one knee.
“Treeny,” he asked in a husky voice, “Will you marry me?” He grasped her hands in a tight grip, like he was worried she might bolt.
Staring into his eyes, those dark brown orbs, Treeny finally understood she would probably give this man anything he wanted. Nodding, she said in an equally husky voice, “Yes.”
He laughed and rocketed to his feet, where he grabbed her and swung her around. “Thank goodness you answered right. I planned to throw you in the lake and hold you there until you agreed,” he confided.
“A long engagement?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yes. This way we’ve made a commitment but a long engagement will give us time to work through our issues.” His eyes made promises she intended to make certain he kept.
She laughed. A joyous, happy laugh, filled with promise. This man was the only one she had ever wanted. He was willing to work with her. They could work together to solve their problems, and she believed him.
They might have to work hard on their relationship. While she would have a struggle to not miss him so much when he was gone she figured she would learn how to manage. Other SEAL wives lived and loved and had happy marriages. There was no reason why she couldn’t. A thrill raced through her at that thought.
A SEAL wife. That would be her.
She kissed him. “Can we get married tomorrow?”
“Didn’t we just agree on a long engagement?”
“Oh yeah, I forgot.”
“How about we compromise and say in a few months?”
She wriggled closer. “That works for me.”
“Good.” He laughed. “Now, if I remember correctly, there’s a closet in a certain cabin we haven’t visited for what eleven, twelve years?”
“And no one’s staying in that cabin at the moment.”
“Right, and since we’ll have no privacy whatsoever once we announce we’re engaged, I recommend we retire to said cabin,” he said with a grin.
“Lead the way, my-husband-to-be.”