The morning after Helen Watson had visited her, Maggie got up even before Aden was awake. She woke him herself, and he opened an eye, surprised to see her.
“What are you doing up?” he asked sleepily. For weeks, ever since Brad’s death, she’d been up all night, haunting the house like a ghost, and fell asleep just before Aden woke up in the morning. He’d been making his own breakfast and leaving the house quietly, and his friends’ moms had been driving him, since the students weren’t allowed to drive and park their cars at school.
“I figured it was time to get back on breakfast duty.” Ordinarily, she had made him a hearty breakfast every day. He had a long day of classes and hockey practice ahead of him. He was a tall, powerfully built boy, like Brad, and needed fuel to keep him going. He smiled as he got out of bed and headed for the shower, then she went downstairs to make him his favorite breakfast of bacon and eggs, sunny side up, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. She knew he’d gulp it down before he flew out the door. He was downstairs twenty minutes later, his hair still damp from the shower, and he was happy to see her. She looked tired, but as though she had drifted back to earth again, after nearly four weeks since his father’s shocking death.
Aden was thinner and seemed suddenly older too. It was a hard way to grow up, and Buck Williams, his hockey coach, had been concerned about him, and had taken him under his wing. He knew from Aden that his mom had been close to nonfunctional since the crash, and was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder herself, which wasn’t surprising. Buck wanted to keep Aden on track, still coming to practice and focusing on school as best he could, despite the changes in his life. Buck hadn’t asked but he wondered if they would have to sell their house and move, now that they were without Brad’s earning power. Since Brad was the breadwinner, and he was gone now, anything was likely to happen, which could destabilize Aden’s life even more than it just had been. Buck hoped Aden would be able to get a hockey scholarship, a full ride, so he could still go to college. He’d sent a note off to the athletic directors of all the schools Aden had applied to, asking them to consider his applications even more favorably, and Buck felt it was justified. Aden was an outstanding player, and might even have a shot at the NHL after college, if he wanted that. It wasn’t what his parents had hoped for him, but maybe that would change now. Despite all of Brad’s plans for him, Buck knew that the last thing Aden wanted was to become an accountant. Aden wanted to be a marine biologist, or a commercial fisherman in Alaska, or a test pilot like his grandfather, or preferably something outdoors and exciting. He had even thought about becoming a mountain-climbing guide or a ski instructor, none of which had pleased his parents. His future had been mapped out for him from the moment he was born. He was going to work with his father as an accountant in the family business his paternal grandfather had built forty years before. Brad had helped it grow into a sizable business, and it was thriving. They weren’t rich, but they were solid and lived well, and everything they had and saved was focused on Aden, a burden he didn’t enjoy.
Maggie dressed after Aden left the house. She wore a simple black pantsuit and tried to look businesslike. She had seen Brad’s will, and knew that he had left her the business. She had no idea what to do with it, or how to run it. She liked working there two days a week, helping out, filing and putting things away, but she knew she didn’t have the skills to take Brad’s place. She wanted to keep it going until Aden grew up, and could start working there after college, but he was still years away from stepping into his father’s shoes. She was counting on Phil Abrams to run it until Aden was ready. Probably after business school. She hoped he’d go to Stanford for that, like his father, or Harvard, but Aden wasn’t the student Brad had been, at least not yet, and he was a much better athlete than his father.
The ride to Brad’s office was short, and Maggie felt like she was on autopilot on the way there. She kept reminding herself that Brad wouldn’t be there, so it wouldn’t be a shock, but part of her kept expecting to see him in his office when she walked in. She looked pale and tense, bracing herself for disappointment when she arrived. Her dark hair was pulled back in a neat bun, her face was sheet-white, as it had been for a month, and she had worn no makeup. She had realized that there was no point, since she’d end up crying anyway. She cried almost constantly, although she was dry-eyed as Phil greeted her, and after hesitating for a moment, he walked her into his office. The door to Brad’s had been closed for a month, ever since he’d left for New York.
Phil was older than Brad, and had worked for Brad’s father. He’d been with the firm ever since he’d gotten his CPA. He was in his fifties and had put four kids through college working there. His son was a doctor, both his daughters were lawyers, and his youngest son was a CPA. Brad had viewed Phil almost as an older brother, and frequently sought his advice about practical matters, and running the business after his own father died. They had stayed very much with his father’s model, after modernizing it somewhat. They were highly respected in the community as a firm with integrity. Phil had thought of going out on his own early on, but once he had a family, he needed the stability that Mackenzie and Son offered.
“Would you like a cup of coffee?” Phil offered when she sat down.
“No, I’m fine,” she said, but didn’t look it. He noticed that her hands were shaking, and she kept glancing at the closed door to Brad’s office, as though she expected it to open at any minute, and the large teddy bear frame of Brad to walk through it. Phil had felt that way at first too. He was a slight, gray-haired man, who looked older than his years. When Brad died, he felt as though he had lost a brother. He was still reeling from the shock himself. But he also knew that they had decisions to make.
“Are you doing okay, Maggie?” he asked, concerned about her. He hadn’t seen her since the funeral, and she’d been through a lot herself, having been in the crash. She nodded. She didn’t want to tell him about the headaches, the nightmares, or the sleepless nights. Her doctor had given her sleeping pills, but they left her groggy and hungover and even more depressed the next day, so she didn’t want to take them.
“I’m okay,” she said softly.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and it may be too early for you to talk about this, but sooner or later we need to think about the business. It’s running smoothly now, and it could for a long time, but it’s going to be years before Aden is ready to step into it, and Brad wasn’t sure he’d ever want to. He’s young, and he doesn’t know what he wants to do yet. Brad wanted to be a professional baseball player as a boy, but he outgrew it,” and Maggie knew that a broken elbow in his pitching arm had changed that, and he had settled into his father’s business. “Whatever he decides, Aden won’t be ready to take over for at least ten or twelve years. That’s a long time, and Brad was part of the magic here. Clients need someone they can relate to, and I’ve always been more of a behind-the-scenes man.”
“What are you saying, Phil?” Maggie looked worried and was afraid he wanted to quit. She couldn’t run the business without him, and she knew she couldn’t do it herself. She wasn’t an accountant and didn’t have the skills. She was more of a girl Friday when she came in to help Brad out. She didn’t deal with clients.
“I thought about it a lot, and I don’t know how you’d feel about it, but I’d like to buy the business, or even enter into partnership with you. My son Bill is a CPA now, and he wants to come into the business with me. I’d already spoken to Brad about it, and he liked the idea. We need some young blood here, until Aden is ready. Clients like that too. But now we don’t have Brad to run it. I’d have to step up to the plate on that. I will anyway. But I want to build something for my own family, a legacy we can count on and that I could leave them one day. If you’re interested, I’d like to have the business appraised, figure out a fair price for it, and start paying you. I’d rather have full ownership, if I can afford it. I’d be willing to sell my house to do it, and put that money into what I could pay you. It would be worth it to me, Maggie. And, of course, I would preserve the name. Maybe we could call it Mackenzie, Abrams, and Sons. I think I might have just enough to pay you a decent price for it, if you could be patient, and let me pay you in regular installments over a year or two.” She looked stunned. She wasn’t sure how Brad would have felt about her selling the business, and Aden no longer having it as an option for a career later on. But she also wasn’t at all sure that Aden would ever want to work there, and Phil was right, Aden was a dozen years away from stepping into his father’s shoes, and maybe not even then. It was a long time to keep the business warm, and Phil would be retired by then, and couldn’t help him. Phil was an honest man, who had loved Brad and genuinely cared about the business.
“I don’t know,” she said, looking confused. “I’ve never thought of it. What did Brad say when you talked to him about it?” He had never mentioned it to her, and she wished she could have his input.
“I talked to him about becoming a partner, and he wasn’t opposed, as I mentioned. But things were working the way they were, so there was no rush. I never considered buying the business from him. This changes everything. We have to think about the future.” She wanted to say “What future?” but she didn’t. She had no future without her husband, and maybe the business didn’t either. That hadn’t occurred to her until now. She didn’t have a clear idea of their financial situation, and didn’t feel ready to yet. Phil had tried talking to her about it after the funeral, but she didn’t want to hear it. She knew he was in the process of evaluating Brad’s investments. Brad had been conservative and put back everything he earned into the business, then invested in the stock market himself.
“I have to think about it,” she said, she felt like she was letting Brad down if she sold, especially so soon after his death, but he was a smart businessman, and she wondered what he would have advised her to do in their present circumstances.
“The firm will certainly be viable for a long time, but keeping it won’t make much sense if Aden never comes to work here,” Phil said. She agreed with that, but how could she ask her son to make a decision about his future at seventeen? That wasn’t fair to him, to have to make such an important choice now, one that would impact them now and for a very long time.
“Do you think I need the money?” she asked him, and he shook his head and smiled at her.
“Brad wasn’t a rich man by today’s standards, but he was very comfortable, and wise about his investments. I’ve almost finished appraising the estate. We need it for probate anyway. I think he had close to a million dollars in his portfolio, including what he had saved.” Maggie looked shocked. She hadn’t expected that at all. Neither of them was extravagant, and he never talked to her about money. He just took care of everything and told her she didn’t need to worry. She assumed he’d always be there to run it all. She didn’t need to know about their finances while he was alive.
“A million?” She stared at Phil.
“Close enough.”
“I thought maybe a couple of hundred thousand.” And their house was worth something, though it was small. It wasn’t in the most expensive neighborhood, but they were happy with it. “What do you think the business is worth?” It would be worth a little less now, without Brad, Phil knew, but he would build it up again, as he stepped up to the front lines and made it his.
“I’m not sure. A little more than that. Ballpark, maybe a million two, or three, somewhere around there. Brad had picked up some very substantial clients, and was still developing it. He was always trying to make the business grow. He taught me a lot. To be honest, that would be a big bite for me. But I’ve already talked to the bank, I could get a loan. And if we sell the house, I’d give all of that to you. Julie is willing to move into an apartment now that the kids are gone. It’s a sacrifice we’re both willing to make, and the house has appreciated more than we expected.” They lived in a nicer house than she and Brad, and Phil had done a number of improvements on it himself over the years. They had added a pool when their kids were younger. “I think I can make it, Maggie. But it’s up to you. If you don’t want to sell to me, I understand. You don’t need to sell. Brad had life insurance too, and they’re anxious to speak to you.” She suddenly felt sick. She didn’t want to benefit financially from her husband dying. He had left her nearly a million in investments. He had left some of it to Aden, in trust for when he was older. But she had a roof over her head, and now Phil was offering her a lot of money for the business. With insurance money on top of it, she suddenly felt overwhelmed. She would have paid it all back just to have Brad alive again. She didn’t want money instead of Brad, but at least it sounded as though she could pay for Aden’s college education, even if he didn’t get a hockey scholarship. That was something at least.
“There’s no rush to decide,” Phil reminded her. “I just wanted to put it out there, in case you do want to sell the business now or later, so you know how interested I am. And my son Bill would love it.” She nodded, feeling dazed. If she sold it to him, she would wind up with somewhere around two million dollars. What would she do with that kind of money? She couldn’t imagine.
He reminded her to call the insurance company when she left, and she drove home feeling distracted and separate from her body somehow. She should have been relieved about the money, but she wasn’t. It just made her feel guiltier for surviving when Brad hadn’t. And now she was making money from it.
She felt even worse after she called the insurance company. She had assumed that he had some ordinary policy, like fifty or a hundred thousand dollars she could put into Aden’s college fund. College was expensive, and she and Brad had talked about that a lot. But Brad was a prudent, responsible man. He had been paying for years for a three-million-dollar life insurance policy, in case anything ever happened to him, so he would leave his family secure for life.
“Three million?” Her voice was a high-pitched squeak when the agent she spoke to told her, almost as a routine matter, which he assumed she knew. She didn’t. “Oh my God.” It was getting worse. Not only was she profiting from his death, she was getting rich. In a single day, she had discovered that she had four million dollars now, with what Brad had left them and his life insurance policy. And if she sold the business to Phil, she’d have five million eventually. She hung up the phone, feeling frightened and confused, and half an hour later, she had a migraine headache and went to bed. She had taken a painkiller and was in a deep sleep when Aden came home. She woke up when he sat on her bed to check on her.
“Bad day, Mom?” he asked her gently. He could see that it had been. Most days were now. She was beginning to remind herself of her own mother and hated herself for it.
“Yes…no…I don’t know. Kind of.” Finding out they had four million dollars didn’t really qualify as a bad day. Brad could have left her destitute or close to it, like her father had done, leaving only his military pension, but that wasn’t her husband’s style. But how she had gotten the money was devastating. She got up and went downstairs to start dinner. She brought up the business when Aden sat down at the table with her. She asked him about his career plans now, and felt foolish doing so. He was still the same seventeen-year-old high school kid he had been a month before, when his father was still alive. Nothing had changed, even if he seemed more grown up now. But his future was still a blank page to him, maybe even more so now without his father to guide him.
“Can you see yourself stepping into Dad’s shoes at the office one day, when you’re older?”
“Never,” he said without hesitating. He could be more honest with her than he had been with his father, not wanting to hurt his feelings since Aden knew how hard his dad had worked to build something for them for the future. “I’d rather die than be an accountant like Dad. I don’t know how he stood it. It’s so boring, and I’m terrible with numbers.” She knew that was true, but it could change if he tried to learn the business. Brad had actually enjoyed it. “I want to do something more exciting. I want to take flying lessons,” he said, and Maggie felt her stomach turn over.
“Could we pick something a little more middle-of-the-road? Like a career where you don’t risk your life every day? My father, my brother, and your father all died in accidents related to flying. How about something less dangerous than flying?” she reasoned with him.
“I’d rather be a plumber, or dig ditches, than be an accountant.” He said it with fervor, and Maggie felt her heart sink, knowing Brad would have been disappointed too, although not surprised. He wasn’t sure Aden would ever be cut out for the family business, although he’d hoped he’d grow into it one day. “Why?” She decided to tell him about Phil at least, not the insurance. She had decided not to tell him about that. He didn’t need to know how much money they had now, not until he was older. She didn’t intend to change anything about the way they lived. They had always been modest and discreet, and she wanted to keep it that way.
“I went to Dad’s office today, to see Phil. He’d like to buy the business and run it with his son. He thinks it would be a long time before you go to work there, and he thinks it might make more sense if we sell it now.”
“I will never work there,” Aden said. “I told Dad that when we talked about it. I don’t think he believed me, but I mean it. Maybe you should sell it, Mom.” She nodded, not sure what to do. The idea was new to her and she needed to digest it. “Did Dad leave you enough to get by? Do we need to sell the house?” He had been worried about that since his father’s death, but hadn’t wanted to ask her and upset her. He wasn’t sure what the situation would be with college if he didn’t get a full ride.
“He left us enough,” she answered softly. “We’re fine. We don’t have to sell the house, or the business if we don’t want to. I don’t want to do something your father would have hated, or that would have broken his heart. He loved the business and the fact that your grandfather started it. Maintaining it and making it grow was like a sacred mission to him.”
“He was pretty practical, though, Mom. If you can’t run it, and I don’t want to, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to keep it. Maybe you should sell it and invest the money. Maybe that’s what Dad would have done,” he said sensibly. It was the most adult conversation they’d ever had.
“I’ll think about it,” was all she said, and intended to.
The icing on the cake came after she called the airline two days later. She finally got up the guts to call them. She had been called by their legal department, the team assigned to settlements. They requested a meeting, and she wanted to put it off, but they said they needed information from her to better assess what had happened, so she felt obliged to meet with them the week after she’d gone to Brad’s office.
They came to the house at ten o’clock in the morning the following week, and she met them in the living room. There were four of them. Three men and a woman, all lawyers. They told her very frankly that they had a clearer picture now of the circumstances of the crash. They had suggested to her that she have an attorney present, but she said she didn’t need one. She didn’t tell them, but she didn’t intend to sue them. Whatever she or they did, it wouldn’t bring Brad back, so she was going to listen but not file a claim against them, which was one of the things they wanted to know from her during the meeting.
They explained that on the night of the flight, whether or not it should take off had become debatable, given weather conditions in New York. It could have gone either way, and the snowstorm could have let up once they took off, or worsened, which was what had happened. But there was a strong suspicion before takeoff that LaGuardia would be closing shortly, and the deciding voices at the airline had decided to make a run for it. They had assumed they’d get to New York in time to be the last plane in. The pilot had thought he could make it safely, but they realized now, in hindsight, that they should have canceled the flight, to be completely safe. He was a seasoned pilot and had been part of the decision, and they trusted his experience and his judgment. The storm had gotten much worse after takeoff, and they had all been wrong. It was public knowledge and had been in the media, so they weren’t sharing secrets with her. They expected numerous lawsuits for wrongful death to be filed, in which they would be accused of making irresponsible decisions. They were intending to shoulder the consequences.
At fifty-two, Brad had still been at the height of his earning power, and had a family to support. Maggie had been on the flight with him, and had suffered physical and mental consequences that might stay with her for years, or mark her forever. She had been clearly assessed with post-traumatic stress disorder when discharged from the hospital. The other passengers had suffered similarly, and many had died. It was not an event the airline was proud of, and they were prepared to accept full responsibility for it. They acknowledged that it wouldn’t make up for her loss, or the loss of a father for a son, but they were prepared to compensate them in the only way they could. They offered her a ten-million-dollar settlement if she would sign a release. They were making similar offers to the other passengers, depending on the degree of damage they had suffered. One woman had lost her legs, a child, and her husband. They didn’t tell Maggie they were offering her a hundred million. She hadn’t accepted yet, and her attorney said she was still too traumatized to discuss it.
Maggie felt as if she were in shock again after they made the offer. They left her with the paperwork outlining their settlement package and the release she would have to sign, and advised her to seek the advice of a lawyer. They were kind and compassionate and very humble. Not knowing what to do, she called Phil after they left. He said he wasn’t surprised, and thought it was the least they could do if the crash had been due to poor judgment on the part of the airline, which they readily admitted.
“You can probably get double that, if that’s where they started,” Phil said gently.
“I don’t want double that!” Maggie said, horrified. “I don’t even want ten million. I don’t want to get rich because my husband died, Phil. You already told me we have more than enough from the insurance and Brad’s savings.”
“You have a right to that money, Maggie. You suffered a terrible loss and went through unspeakable trauma yourself. You should take it. It could make a big difference to Aden one day. I think Brad would want you to take it.” She was shocked. It felt immoral to her, but pointing out that it might matter to Aden one day resonated with her. “You might even get more if you sue them, and they know that,” he added, and she groaned.
“Is everything about money? I lost the husband I loved, and Aden lost his dad. Money doesn’t make up for that.”
“Aden could have seventy years ahead of him, and you could have fifty. He’s a boy, and you’re a young woman. Don’t turn your nose up at that kind of money.”
“I’m not. I just don’t want blood money. It’s bad enough that I survived and he didn’t.”
“It’s damn lucky you did,” he said, “for Aden’s sake. Imagine if you had both died. What would happen to him now?” They had no other relatives and Aden would have been an orphan, on his own at seventeen. It suddenly made her realize even more acutely how important it was for her to make good decisions now, for her son’s sake. She called Brad’s lawyer after she talked to Phil, and sent him the paperwork the airline had left with her. She told him about Phil offering to buy the business too, and he thought it an excellent idea, particularly selling it to someone who knew it so well, had worked there for twenty years, and loved Brad deeply as an employee and friend.
It was a lot for her to think about.
The lawyer suggested that she turn down the settlement and ask them to double it. He thought she’d come out somewhere around fifteen million if she did, which he thought was fair, and he advised her again to sell the business to Phil, and said he thought Brad would approve.
In the end, she accepted the ten million the airline had offered her, which seemed like more than enough to her. More would have seemed obscene, for the price on her husband’s head. She told Phil she would sell the business to him. They agreed on a million two, with two years to pay her in full.
When it was all over, she had fourteen million dollars, with a million more to come from Phil. He was elated about it. The airline’s check arrived in the mail two days after she signed the release, and they thanked her for being so reasonable. Her lawyer had requested a confidentiality clause that they not disclose the amount of the settlement, or that there had even been one, so as not to make her or Aden targets for people with profiteering or criminal intentions, which she hadn’t even thought of.
The insurance company’s check took a little longer. Phil made his first payment right on time, as she would have expected him to. No matter how she looked at it, or hated the reasons for it, in a short span of time, she had become a rich woman. She didn’t know what to do with the money, and hired the same investment advisor Brad had used. He had left her a legacy of stability, and a solid foundation he had built carefully. But she still had no idea what to do with it, or who she was without Brad. He had been her whole identity for nineteen years. Without him, she felt invisible, and lost. She had nightmares about the money sometimes and saw it dripping blood in her dreams, or floating in a pool of blood with the vision of Brad slipping under the surface.
She told Aden none of it, and she had accepted it all for him. She knew that if she safeguarded the money, as Brad would have done, and invested it well, Aden would be a wealthy man one day, but she had no intention of telling him or anyone else about it. In the meantime, overnight she was now a wealthy widow, which was the last thing she wanted to be. All she had wanted was to be Brad’s wife, and a good wife and mother. Instead she now had money and had to live the rest of her life without him. At least they were safe and secure. It was his final gift to her. She would never have to worry about money or the future.
Little by little, the nightmares lessened, the headaches were less severe, and she was able to sleep at night again. She realized that despite how sad she was without Brad, security was a good thing. She was never going to do anything risky with her money or spend it lavishly. She would save all or most of it for Aden. It would be for him one day. It was the only way she could live with acquiring so much money as a result of Brad’s death.