Maggie took care of Paul on her own for the first few days. She stood in the shower with him to make sure he didn’t fall, and gently bathed his burns and injuries. She massaged his hands and feet as the nurses had shown her how to, and soon he was walking almost normally.
Jeff and Helen came to visit him, and gave him a hero’s welcome, and Paul and Aden both cried when Aden came home. Aden helped Paul to the shower and down the stairs, and drove him into town so he could buy a few things. Paul told Aden what it had been like, buried, thinking about both of them. He admitted that it had been a foolish thing to do and he wouldn’t do it again.
One night while Paul was sleeping, Aden and Maggie decorated the house with the colored lights as they always did. Paul had tears in his eyes when he woke up in the night, and saw it from the window. The next day, he watched them decorate the Christmas tree. He told her he’d never had one as a boy. He felt like an orphan who had been deposited in a family, and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be alive and there with them.
Maggie prepared their traditional Christmas dinner, and for the rest of the week, Paul and Aden watched sports on TV, when Aden wasn’t out with his friends. Maggie played Christmas carols. Paul wanted to go out, but the streets were icy, and she was afraid he’d fall. He let her keep him home and enjoyed it.
Aden left on the morning of New Year’s Eve, to go skiing in Vermont as he had the year before. Paul looked at her after he left. The house seemed empty without him. Paul seemed more like himself again. It had been a month since they found him, and he felt ready to reenter his world. Being in Lake Forest with Maggie was like being in a cocoon. He was ready to spread his wings and fly. She could see that he was getting restless.
“What do you say we get out of here for a few weeks, and spend some time on the Lady Luck?” Paul suggested. “She’s sitting there in Antigua, and the crew has nothing to do. I could use some warm weather.” And they had told him that swimming would be good for his feet. They were almost back to normal, but he hadn’t regained full feeling yet, and he knew he needed to. He wanted to get back in shape.
“Do you feel up to the trip?” she asked him, and he laughed.
“I may look a hundred years old, but I’m not a hundred yet.” He called the captain and his pilot and arranged for them to be picked up the next day. All he had to do was grab a phone and make magic happen. He had been helpless for the last month, but he no longer was. He was like a sleeping lion coming awake. “I can’t believe what good care you’ve taken of me, Maggie,” he said, and kissed her as they lay in her bed that night. She had cared for him like a baby, and nursed him back to life. It was a cozy way to spend New Year’s Eve, and she didn’t mind. On the boat, he would have his crew to help him. He was getting antsy about his business dealings. His whole life had been on hold for a month, and he had been entirely hers. She had loved it, but knew it couldn’t last forever. Sooner or later, he’d be back in the world.
“Happy new year, Maggie,” he said to her as he held her, and she smiled up at him.
“Happy new year, Paul. Welcome back.”
The next morning, a car arrived to drive them to the airport. Maggie had packed what she needed that morning, and Paul had almost nothing to pack. He’d bought some jeans and slacks and sweaters in the shops in Lake Forest. He decided to leave them there, since he didn’t need winter clothes on the boat.
“Take something for New York,” he told her as she packed. “I need to spend a couple of days there, after the boat. And then I have to go to London for meetings, and you have an apartment to decorate.” That all seemed so far away now, and she was sorry to leave their simple life at her house. But he had things to do, worlds to conquer, and deals to make. She was free again until Aden came home in March, and maybe he’d meet them in Europe for spring break instead. Her life wasn’t really here anymore, except for special times like Thanksgiving and Christmas. She had to follow Paul back into his life now. She wondered how quickly it would change after his near-death experience. It wasn’t going to leave him where it found him, and he had told her in the hospital that it was “the last time” he risked his life. He had had a transformation while waiting to die for four days. She could see the change. He seemed to savor every moment like a precious gift.
He had sent a large donation to the family of the lead guide who had died, leaving four kids. He’d written a letter of sympathy to the widow. And she had responded stunned and grateful for his generosity.
Maggie wondered when they’d come back to Lake Forest. It didn’t sound like it would be soon. She called Helen to say goodbye. Helen raced over before they left to give Maggie a hug and wish Paul luck. And he hugged her back. He liked her, and Jeff, and he knew how important Helen was to Maggie. Maggie had told him how Helen had saved her life after Brad. Now Maggie had saved his. He would never forget it, and treated her with new gratitude and respect as they rode to the airport and got on his plane. He heaved a sigh of relief as he entered his familiar world and felt back in control again. He walked up the steps normally, and walked down the aisle with ease.
“How do you feel?” Maggie asked him on the trip.
“I feel great,” he said, roaring like a lion, and she laughed.
“I think my nursing days are over,” she said with a touch of nostalgia.
“You sound sorry,” he teased her.
“Maybe I am. You’re a lot easier to keep track of when you’re half frozen and can’t walk.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He smiled at her. And when they got to the boat in Antigua, the entire crew had lined up on deck to greet him, in dress uniforms, many with tears in their eyes. Once they heard the full story, they couldn’t believe he had survived, and neither could he.
“More like ninety-nine lives than nine,” the captain said when they talked about it. Paul had the steward serve them all a glass of champagne, and then he and Maggie settled into their cabin. He had asked for a massage and urged Maggie to get one.
“You deserve it more than I do.” He wanted her to be pampered to repay her for what she’d done for him. It was the least he could do. He hadn’t even been able to get her a decent Christmas present, since he could barely walk then and was still very stiff. He intended to make up for it when they got to New York, and he had something special in mind. She had bought him a cashmere and silk robe, which he had worn constantly and left in Lake Forest for when he went back.
He improved dramatically once he was on the boat. They swam morning and afternoon, the massages brought his feet back to normal, and his hands. Two weeks after they’d arrived, he felt entirely like himself. It was six weeks after his dramatic rescue. He had no traces left of his days buried in the snow after the avalanche, except a few barely pink patches on his face that were rapidly fading, and nothing else. Maggie still looked tired and worried at times. She still had headaches, but didn’t tell him. She knew why. The terror of losing him had brought the PTSD back with a vengeance, but it was slowly fading now. The boat was good for her too.
Their plan was to stay on the boat for most of the month. Paul was working at getting back in shape again, and she could tell he was getting strong. He worked out in the gym every day. No one would have guessed what he’d been through. It all seemed like a bad dream now. As she watched him stride across the deck or dive into the water, he looked like the old Paul, or the Paul before Canada. There was nothing old about him now. He looked young and strong again, and not even fifty. She was still quiet but seemed peaceful, and she kept her eye on him for any sign of a problem, but there were none. He had escaped unscathed, again. She hoped he remembered the lesson in spite of it, and his promise to her that it was the last time he would risk his life again.
After the boat, they were going to spend two days in New York. Paul had meetings with his tax lawyers, and wanted to make sure that the changes they had implemented were on track. They had been through that too, and come out of it.
After New York, he said he had to get back to London for serious business, and then meetings in Zurich. “I’ve got to work all of February, Maggie. I have a lot to catch up on. I feel like Rip Van Winkle waking up.” She smiled when he said it. He was already working by phone from the boat for several hours a day. “And I have a race at the end of the month.” He said it as though it was an ordinary occurrence, and she stared at him, too shocked to speak for a minute.
“You what?” She thought she must have heard wrong. It couldn’t be.
“In Spain, at the end of February. And one in Italy in March.”
“Are you serious? You nearly died six weeks ago.”
“I have a contract, Maggie. I’ve got two races left before we renegotiate. They’ll sue the hell out of me if I don’t honor it.”
“Almost dying isn’t a valid reason to let you off the hook?”
“There are millions of dollars involved. You know that. And I have no excuse. It was an accident. I’ve been through worse driving. And I’m perfectly healthy now. I can’t drop out of the races. My sponsors would kill me.”
“I thought we agreed that you’d used up your ninth life.”
“I may have. But I have contractual commitments. I meant it was the last time I’d go helicopter skiing. I’m done with that. But I can’t retire yet.” And he didn’t want to. It was his life, but so was she.
“And the racing?”
“It’s my job,” he said calmly.
“It’s your drug. Risking your life, tempting fate, taunting death. How often are you going to do that?”
“I don’t know,” he said, looking uncomfortable. “All I know is that right now, I have a contract with two races left. Fortunately, I got hit by the avalanche when I didn’t have a race scheduled,” he said with a touch of irony, but she didn’t smile. He was still Paul. She should have known, but she had believed him.
She didn’t argue with him. She knew there was no point. It was crystal clear to her now. There was always going to be one more race, one more ski trip, one more adventure, one more mountain to climb, one more harrowing, death-defying experience while he beat the odds. And one day, he wouldn’t win. She didn’t want to be there to see it. Her mother had been right about him at eighteen. Brad had been her safe haven for nearly twenty years, and Paul never would be. He didn’t have it in him. He needed danger the way other people needed air.
He had a conference call then, and she went to their cabin and looked in the mirror, and saw who she would become if she stayed with him. She would become her mother, broken and sad and depressed and half crazy until she gave in to dementia because she couldn’t face reality anymore.
She went swimming alone after that, off the boat, and sliced through the clear water. He was a lucky man, and he didn’t even know it. He didn’t see what he had, the beauty around him, the people who loved him. All he saw were the risks he had to take, the odds he had to beat, the gambles he had to win. He was a gambler to the core. Since she’d been with him, he’d been injured in a race, risked prison, and nearly died in Canada. It was enough.
She didn’t know how she’d explain it to Aden, but she’d find a way. She had buried one man she loved, but couldn’t bury two. She’d thought she’d have to after Canada, and somehow he had been spared. Now he was going to risk everything on another race. It had nothing to do with his contract and he knew it too. It was all about him and the demon inside him that needed to dance with death again. And one day, the demon would win.